Funniest thing you have read in a cubicle

iCosmopolis

"I'm ten inches long and five inches 'round"
Written underneath " Are you a ferret?"

starbelgrade

In the toilets in DIT Bolton Street..

"How many 1st year electrical engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's a 2nd year project."

Panthro

another one I've seen more than once is the word "waterloo".
And I once seen "are ya droppin' the kids off at the pool?"

and someone once wrote "I'm dying"
someone under that wrote "for a shíte!"

pablomakaveli

lenoude wrote: »

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
went to fart but shat my pants.

I've seen one similiar to that:

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
A fart so great it shook the bowl
and burnt the hair aound my whole.

I saw this joke as well inside a cubicle.

A girlfriend goes into a sex shop to buy a gift for her husband.
She asks the shopkeeper whats the best thing he has.
He then produces a frog from behind the counter and says "This frog gives the most amazing blowjobs ever"
So the girlfriend buys the frog and gives it to the boyfriend who loves it.
Anyway that night the girlfriend wakes up and notices her boyfriend isnt in bed. She hears a noise from the kitchen so she goes down to see what it is.
When she gets to the kitchen she sees the man and the frog sitting on the floor with all the pots and pans around them.
She asks her boyfriend what hes doing and he replies "As soon as i teach this frog to cook, you're outta here."

Whoever wrote all that must have been taking a big dump.

DazMarz

In the Arts Block in UCD:

"Nostradamus was here...... next week."

In Newark Liberty Airport, New Jersey, USA:

"Here I sit, Cheeks a-flexin, givin birth to another Texan"

In the Science Block in UCD:

"[arrow pointing at the toilet paper dispenser] Arts Degrees; please take one"

In Coláiste Ráithín toilets:

"Lodi Daudie, free John Gotti" (This was about 2 years after Gotti had died...)

In Arts Block in UCD:

"Some come here to sit and think, others come here to **** and stink"

CarrickMcJoe

POSTED ON TOILET WALL IN ANCO BALLYFERMOT 1980

They came down from the glen,
All the AnCo men,
They came like fairy dancers,
For 1 in 10 were good tradesmen,
and the rest were fvcken w4nkers!

Penn

lenoude wrote: »

Here i sit broken hearted,
came to **** but only farted.
Yesterday I took a chance,
went to fart but shat my pants.

Alternative one I've seen:

Here I sit broken hearted
Came to ****e but only farted
Oh but what a fart! It broke the bowl
And burnt the hair around me hole



Anyway, funniest one I've seen was "Any load greater than 2kg must be lowered by hand"

CarrickMcJoe

Anymore than 2 shakes is a ****!

or at DunLaoighaire harbour jax. Arrow pointing to toilet roll which was a huge roll of greaseproof paper.
SANDPAPER...........

homerun_homer

"I can't believe Michael Jackson is Dead" Obama

Forget where I saw this written but I took a pic on my phone.

AnnyHallsal

Rage against the latrine.

I cut Paddy Casey's hair.

Both in Whelan's.

Run_to_da_hills

Saw this one in Fas. "Please flush this toilet twice, the canteen is on the upper floor".

charlemont

On a train to London From Wales in the cubicle was written " I R A in rachels ass"

papagormo

papagormo wrote: »

Some phone number with something like "if you want gay sex call" written alongside it.

I fell victim to this once, someone wrote my phone number in a toilet in a secondary school in Newbridge and I ended up getting texts over it. I've never even been in Newbridge and don't know anyone there so can only assume someone randomly made it up. (and no, I'm no gay btw )

nibtrix

Written very low down on the cubicle door -

"You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle"

_Whimsical_

I didn't see it myself as I was never in the gents but I'm reliably informed that the below was written on the inside of a cublicle door in the mens toilets of NUIG

" BEWARE GAY LIMBO DANCERS"

fillmore jive

in the jacks in the ucd science block:

'you don't take dumps here, you leave them here'

veryangryman

Good idea for thread

Limerick IT was a haven for comedy in the jacks. My personal fave...

"If you are gay, meet me here at 12"

followed by...

"Im here everyday but you never show!"

Madame Razz

'<insert name of poncey Army cadet here> has genital warts'

All over NUIG, in every cubicle, in every building, started in the library and suddenly was written all over:D Twas hilarious as the guy in question SERIOUSLY thought he was the dogs, and was very unimpressed as it affected his success with the ladeeeez for a considerable amount of time:p

_Whimsical_

The ladies toilets in the Arts block of NUIG generally attracted a lot of earnest young women having long scrawled debates about issues like abortion.. There was no funny stuff except what was not intended to be funny.

My favourites :

One person had wrote "yo yo incest is best , put yo momma to the test" . Two days later there were at least 30 outraged responses , Irish Times letter page style replies about the evils of child abuse and rape.

The best though was the long sprawling debate about how people should stop writing on the toilet walls because the poor cleaners had to spend hours every few weeks washing it all off. Cue literally hundreds of comments of wholehearted agreement.

sean corcoran

not the funniest but it made me laugh

in smyths toys staff jax

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DID A POOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

aidhan

This is a special fast cubicle for persons with three items or less..

Why go to america when you can make your pile here..

kincsem

Gents urinals

"Why are you pissing with a clitoris?"

dxhound2005

All Irishmen are gay. Except Gay Byrne. He's a lesbian.

maddogcollins

Some come to sit and think
Some come to s*&* and stink
Some to scratch their b***s
But I come yo write on walls

fedor.2.

Karsini wrote: »

I fell victim to this once, someone wrote my phone number in a toilet in a secondary school in Newbridge and I ended up getting texts over it. I've never even been in Newbridge and don't know anyone there so can only assume someone randomly made it up. (and no, I'm no gay btw )

Apologies;)

rainbowdrop

hairy sailor wrote: »

there's no point standing on the seat,the crab's in here can jump 6 feet

There's no use standing on the toilet seat
The crabs in here jump 6ft high
If you think that's high
Go to *insert name here*
The bastards fly

Voodoomelon

On the bog roll dispener in DKIT.

"DKIT diplomas, please take".

goose2005

NO QUEEN

and written below it "I agree, they're not the real thing without Freddie"

Zaph

In a hostel in Budapest;

"The toilet paper here is like John Wayne - rough, tough and takes no sh*t"

irish_goat

In a cubicle in NUIM. It's a big bathroom and there were a few other people in there and I was really struggling to not burst out laughing.

It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You stole Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... nothing!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR