Do you think Rom coms and the like influence you

liah

LittleBook wrote: »

I wouldn't say loved it, but I enjoyed the comedy and screwball elements moreso than the actual romance. It was more of a comedy with a romance than a romance with comedy, if you know what I mean. And I definitely feel it did more good than harm to the genre, unlike many films I can't stand but could mention.

And comedy is even more subjective than romance.



I loved (500) Days of Summer but I was surprised at how many people simply thought Summer was a b'tch. They seemed to have missed the entire point that the romance was being played/re-played from Tom's point of view and wasn't necessarily the reality ... which is such a huge thing in relationships.

BUT, I thought the ending was as trite and contrived as the worst kind of Rom-com.

From a comedy standpoint with Knocked Up you're right, I still enjoy the movie, but every time I try to focus on the relationship aspect of it I just end up frustrated. Though again, it's been awhile. Could've been particularly cynical when I watched it last.

I also don't get the Summer = bitch hate. It just means she changed. People change. It's realistic, not every romance is storybook, they were both great people, just not suited to one another for whatever reasons.

(Also basically fell in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt over that one, could be a little biased on the actual quality of the movie! :pac:)

krudler

liah wrote: »

I don't watch them unless they're incredibly well-reviewed, and even then, nine times out of ten they just don't appeal to me.

For some reason, though, 500 Days of Summer hits the right spots for me. Much, much, much more honest take on the whole thing. I mean, it's not the most fantastic movie ever, but I like it for the simple fact that it doesn't bullsh!t you and lead you on, and it's refreshing.
Most rom coms depict seriously unhealthy, immature relationships and I find them hard to watch because I'm constantly asking myself why on earth they're putting up with each other, or why the hell they want to be together at all in the first place.

So my answer would have to be no, they don't influence me at all. Certainly haven't had an influence of any of the guys I've been with, either, each relationship has been more unconventional/mature than the last.. certainly nothing like a romcom. :pac:

I liked that movie purely because it shows that a guy goes through everything that women usually do in these movies, we get our hearts broken, listen to sad music and pine over a beer with friends as well. I can really relate to that movie as my last relationship began just like the one in the film, met at work, started off casual, became serious etc etc.

seenitall

liah wrote: »

(Also basically fell in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt over that one, could be a little biased on the actual quality of the movie! :pac:)

Joseph Gordon Levitt - YUM (and I haven't seen "500 Days of Summer"!)

Have you seen "Mysterious Skin" or "Brick"? (DISCLAIMER: Toto, we are NOT in rom-com territory any more )

LittleBook

liah wrote: »

From a comedy standpoint with Knocked Up you're right, I still enjoy the movie, but every time I try to focus on the relationship aspect of it I just end up frustrated. Though again, it's been awhile. Could've been particularly cynical when I watched it last.

There's Something About Mary was like that for me, but it was still funny as hell IMO.

But what you say about watching films at different times is absolutely true ... films I adored before simply don't wash with me now at all ... and films I've given a second chance have changed my mind several times.

liah wrote: »

I also don't get the Summer = bitch hate. It just means she changed. People change. It's realistic, not every romance is storybook, they were both great people, just not suited to one another for whatever reasons.

I don't want to go on and on about one film and drag the thread OT ... but just one more thing about (500) ... she didn't just change, she was never the person he thought she was. Later in the film he remembers all sorts of stuff that he just failed to notice in the heat of the initial romance, and the split screen section was a fantastic demonstration of what you visualise/plan in your mind compared to the reality.

People can be very hard on those that break their hearts, which is completely understandable, but that doesn't mean they (the heartbreakers) are automatically bad.

liah wrote: »

(Also basically fell in love with Joseph Gordon Levitt over that one, could be a little biased on the actual quality of the movie! :pac:)

And sure why wouldn't you ... he's gorgeous and a helluva an actor.

krudler wrote: »

I liked that movie purely because it shows that a guy goes through everything that women usually do in these movies, we get our hearts broken, listen to sad music and pine over a beer with friends as well. I can really relate to that movie as my last relationship began just like the one in the film, met at work, started off casual, became serious etc etc.

Good point! And I think this is why the Judd Apatow/Kevin Smith/Farrelly Brothers romances have hit the spot with me.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, High Fidelity and Annie Hall are other great romantic films from the man's point of view.

krudler

seenitall wrote: »

Joseph Gordon Levitt - YUM (and I haven't seen "500 Days of Summer"!)

Have you seen "Mysterious Skin" or "Brick"? (DISCLAIMER: Toto, we are NOT in rom-com territory any more )

He's great in Inception too, steals the best scene of the movie with the zero-g hallway fight

liah

krudler wrote: »

He's great in Inception too, steals the best scene of the movie with the zero-g hallway fight

About time there's something we disagree on

Am I the only one who wasn't overly impressed by Inception, or didn't find it hard to follow at all, or thought the acting was pretty mediocre all things considered?

That film was such a let-down

I, too, could talk about 500 for ages longer, it's the first "romcom" aimed at my generation that actually hit me on any kind of emotional level.

Back to the "Summer is a bitch" thing, I think it's down to the idea so many people have that just because you're interested in someone, you're somehow entitled to them. I like that 500 put that bs to rest, and I'm afraid those who claim she's a bitch completely missed the point of the whole thing.

I also love that I can completely, overwhelmingly relate to both characters, which for a romcom is again, very, very rare.

...okay, I'll stop now. I need to find people to talk about movies with, I keep dragging threads off topic..

krudler

liah wrote: »

About time there's something we disagree on

Am I the only one who wasn't overly impressed by Inception, or didn't find it hard to follow at all, or thought the acting was pretty mediocre all things considered?
That film was such a let-down

I, too, could talk about 500 for ages longer, it's the first "romcom" aimed at my generation that actually hit me on any kind of emotional level.

Back to the "Summer is a bitch" thing, I think it's down to the idea so many people have that just because you're interested in someone, you're somehow entitled to them. I like that 500 put that bs to rest, and I'm afraid those who claim she's a bitch completely missed the point of the whole thing.

I also love that I can completely, overwhelmingly relate to both characters, which for a romcom is again, very, very rare.

...okay, I'll stop now. I need to find people to talk about movies with, I keep dragging threads off topic..

What staggered me about it was the amount of practical effects work, in an age where cgi is used for everything, the rotating hallway? done for real, the avalanche near the end? real, the tilting hotel bar? real. the snow fortress? built for real on the side of a mountain in Canada, and blown up too. even the train driving through the streets was real (actually a truck with the shell of a train placed on top of it) so its refreshing to see a director like Nolan doing everything in camera as opposed to putting it in with computers later on. Its not without its flaws, the middle sags a bit, but I loved it, and Hans Zimmers score is magnificent.

ok thats enough OT movie discussion :P back to the romcoms!

The types I hate are the "fish out of water" ones, shes a sassy air steward who falls for an offshore oil worker after her plane crashes, that sort of thing.

I do like a good romance, stuff like The Princess Bride, parts of Love Actually, Lost in Translation, 500 Days of Summer etc

liah

Oh from a technical perspective it was phenomenal, it's just after all the hype about how "confusing" and "mental" it was supposed to be, I was seriously left wondering if I'd watched the wrong movie or a weird cut or something, but nope.

Will never understand where the hype came from. It's still good, though, just.. nothing special, imo.

/inception

Princess Bride is all kinds of love for me, though for some reason I never think of it as a romcom! But the beauty of that movie is you can take whatever you want away from it, 'cuz no matter what it's awesome.

Also never considered Lost in Translation a romcom, though it's kind of hard to define, which is the point I suppose.

Big Fish is one of my favourite romcoms (again, if it could be called that!), not because it's a masterpiece or anything but it's just so goddamn sweet. Ewan McGregor helps, too :pac:

I would highly, highly recommend the films Young People Fvcking and After Sex for incredibly funny, incredibly down to earth and mature looks at not just sex, but relationships of all different kinds. Those two films definitely have their hearts in the right place, particularly Young People Fvcking.

krudler

liah wrote: »

Oh from a technical perspective it was phenomenal, it's just after all the hype about how "confusing" and "mental" it was supposed to be, I was seriously left wondering if I'd watched the wrong movie or a weird cut or something, but nope.

Will never understand where the hype came from. It's still good, though, just.. nothing special, imo.

/inception

Princess Bride is all kinds of love for me, though for some reason I never think of it as a romcom! But the beauty of that movie is you can take whatever you want away from it, 'cuz no matter what it's awesome.

Also never considered Lost in Translation a romcom, though it's kind of hard to define, which is the point I suppose.

Big Fish is one of my favourite romcoms (again, if it could be called that!), not because it's a masterpiece or anything but it's just so goddamn sweet. Ewan McGregor helps, too :pac:

I would highly, highly recommend the films Young People Fvcking and After Sex for incredibly funny, incredibly down to earth and mature looks at not just sex, but relationships of all different kinds. Those two films definitely have their hearts in the right place, particularly Young People Fvcking.

YPF is good alright, nice honest look at sex in movies for a change.

Lost in Translation isnt a romcom in the traditional sense either, but I do love it, its got romance, and it definitely has comedy "Meeeester Bob Hallllisss!" , its my fall asleep movie, and thats not an insult, its one of those movies I can put on my headphones and listen to with my eyes closed and its still entertaining.

Princess Bride is a just a classic, theres seriously something wrong with anyone who doesnt like it :pac: Its a definite sick day/rainy day off movie.

Love Actually is fun too, its a bit of a mixed bag but theres a ton of talent in it, and Alan Rickman is always worth watching. Its got some very sweet moments in among the schmaltz, like Martin Freemans stand in storyline, the bit where the kid runs through the airport pisses me off though, in America he'd probably have been shot :pac: but its a good Christmas movie.

liah

Might have to watch Love Actually then, I've had a bit of a thing for Martin Freeman lately (have you seen Sherlock, the 2010 tv series? It's class!).

Always avoided it, figured it was cookie-cutter like the rest, but hell, why not.

krudler

liah wrote: »

About time there's something we disagree on

There was always going to be something :pac:

krudler

liah wrote: »

Might have to watch Love Actually then, I've had a bit of a thing for Martin Freeman lately (have you seen Sherlock, the 2010 tv series? It's class!).

Always avoided it, figured it was cookie-cutter like the rest, but hell, why not.

Some of it is of the fluffy romcom variety, but Rickman and Emma Thomas's storyline is good, as is Martin Freemans, Bill Nighy steals the show though hes a washed up 70s glam rocker trying to make a comeback by releasing a Christmas themed version of Love Is All Around, he has all the best lines in the movie, like being interviewed by Ant and Dec

Ant (or Dec):"Do you have a message for the youth of today Billy?"
"Kids.....dont buy drugs.(pause) Become a rock star and people give them to you for free!"

mariebeth

I am the first to admit that I love, love, love rom coms. I know they are formulaic, are pretty much the same format the whole time, and the jokes can get a little bit old. That said though, I think they're the perfect thing to watch for a couple of hours, because for me, they're fun, silly & sweet, and they also help you forget about the crap that is going on for a small amount of time. That for me is what I want out of a film. I don't want to be feeling worse coming out of them than I did going in.

That said though, I don't think that I take rom coms seriously or am influenced by them. I am a romantic at heart, but I'm also a realist. I know there's no 'one' person out there, he could be anyone that you make a connection with and have chemistry with. Relationships have to be a mutual thing, where both people in the relationship really want to work together and make the relationship work.

I think that it's not necessarily rom coms that are influencing women, I would honestly think that it's just a change in the times in a way. Women today expect to have careers, have their own money & independence, and we know what we want (on the most part...) and we're not settling for men anymore just for the sake of settling down & being married with 2.4 kids. And that, for me, is a good thing.

seenitall

liah wrote: »

Might have to watch Love Actually then, I've had a bit of a thing for Martin Freeman lately (have you seen Sherlock, the 2010 tv series? It's class!).

Always avoided it, figured it was cookie-cutter like the rest, but hell, why not.

Liah, I have to agree again about Freeman. Class is indeed the word to use, Cumberbatch and him both. The whole production did a great job at updating the old Sherlock...

I'm not great with rom-coms, I find most of Hollywood ones too formulaic, although there are times when I will watch one when it comes on telly. Am I influenced by them in my outlook? No, I wouldn't say so. They are too bland and unrealistic to make a permanent impact on my subconscious, I would have thought.

If I am looking for a romance fix, I find some smaller and under-the-radar films much more rewarding, e.g. "Mumford" - a non-blockbuster rom-com.

Bellablue

Love Actually is fun too, its a bit of a mixed bag but theres a ton of talent in it, and Alan Rickman is always worth watching. Its got some very sweet moments in among the schmaltz, like Martin Freemans stand in storyline, the bit where the kid runs through the airport pisses me off though, in America he'd probably have been shot but its a good Christmas movie.

I always thought that about the airport bit too!!

My favourite thread in this film is Colin Firth's story - love the effort they go to to make things work despite all obstacles.

I have to say, I do love rom-coms, but have no expectation whatsoever that my own life is going to turn out anything like them. I think they're just a nice method of escapism for a couple of hours.

Having recently come out of a marriage (we were together 12 yrs) I have no illusions of a "fairytale ending" any time soon, but I do intend to have a helluva time on the journey to the end of the story!

krudler

This thread has really made me want to watch 500 Days of Summer again, if not only for this scene:

seriously, how could you not want to do that just once in your life

Chuchoter

Movies definitely influence me a lot especially as I'm kind of removed from any chance of a relationship atm. I'd like to say I'm more sensible, but if its not like TV/movies I will probably be disappointed :o

purplepapillon

Shelga wrote: »

My friend and I call it Disney Syndrome - waiting for Prince Charming to come along on his white horse when it's never gonna happen.

Totally on the button there. "Disney syndrome" and looking for Mr Darcy/Prince Charming ain't ever gonna be satisfying. If you've found him and everything is "perfect" (read:boring) you'll be disappointed. The search for anything that is perfect or any sort of superlative is what we've been drilled with through culture (fairy tales, rom coms, Sex and the City included) from childhood. I think these aspirations will always be there.

My Mam said about boys when I was younger "As long as you come home with a smile on your face". Obviously, not always. But those "perfect" parts should be all the firsts in a relationship the first date etc... After that, you have to live life, develop a more mature and meaningful relationship, and not the fairy tale, which I think is far more fulfilling.

Kooli

I sometimes wonder if romcoms have the effect of making people think that relationships should begin with fighting, falling in and out of love, people screwing up and then getting back together with some 'grand gesture' etc. etc.

In my experience the reality is very different, much...nicer!! Not such a rocky road at all, just two people who really like each other and really click and want to get to know each other and start to care more and more about each other. It would make the most BORING MOVIE EVER!!

There are some women I know and they have rather dramatic love lives (in the initial stages of a relationship), and sometimes I wonder if they are deliberately injecting that drama partly because that's the formula of what we (i.e. Hollywood) have decided is romantic...

Snoopy1

Well i like some rom coms, and call me sad, but i probably am influenced by them.
I always think that theres something better out there, when im in relationships. I probably look at movies and wonder why i cant be happy. And i look at other people, and say to myself why cant my boyfriend act like that etc

Treora

Maybe they have no affect, but just think how much product placement costs in a rom-com and how many psy profs have been tenured based on research funded by Holywood.

strobe

This thread just randomly went down a brilliant avenue. Summer is a bitch, (if you don't recognise that, then you are Summer, at least a little bit (worth thinking about). You probably disagree completely with that. There is a word for that kind of cognitive disonance), sometimes girls are bitches, Summer is the archetypal self obsessed 'it's all about me' bitch, but 3rd rock form the sun guy is the (I used it once so I might as well use it again) archetypal 'that girl that broke my heart is a self obsessed bitch' guy, that's kinda the whole point of the film.

Inception is very very very overrated. (that's 3 'very's', count them, they all count).

:cool:

Das Kitty

No. My love life would make a reeeaaaallly boring rom com. And that's the way I like it!

krudler

strobe wrote: »

This thread just randomly went down a brilliant avenue. Summer is a bitch, (if you don't recognise that, then you are Summer, at least a little bit (worth thinking about). You probably disagree completely with that. There is a word for that kind of cognitive disonance), sometimes girls are bitches, Summer is the archetypal self obsessed 'it's all about me' bitch, but 3rd rock form the sun guy is the (I used it once so I might as well use it again) archetypal 'that girl that broke my heart is a self obsessed bitch' guy, that's kinda the whole point of the film.

Inception is very very very overrated. (that's 3 'very's', count them, they all count).

:cool:

the Summer being a bitch thing is just a good example of how our perception of people changes after a relationship falls apart. I did want to strangle her after we find out she got engaged though, poor JGL! I love that scene where

they meet in the park after the breakup and he says "you told me you didnt want to be someones girlfriend, and now you're somebody's wife, I dont think I'll ever understand that"

I've been right where he was in that movie, having someone that wouldnt let you in no matter how hard you tried. I must watch it again as I havent seen it since before I broke up with the ex, maybe I will think Summer is a bitch now :pac:

Ickle Magoo

No, I don't think they did...I'm notoriously unmushy/cynical and I can't stand Hugh Grant so I haven't actually seen that many.

I have high expectations in relationships but I think that comes down to observing some very strong, healthy, loving relationships as I grew up rather than hollywood fluff ingested as an adult.

krudler

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

No, I don't think they did...I'm notoriously unmushy/cynical and I can't stand Hugh Grant so I haven't actually seen that many.

I have high expectations in relationships but I think that comes down to observing some very strong, healthy, loving relationships as I grew up rather than hollywood fluff ingested as an adult.

Hes great in About A Boy, and an utter bastard, but a hilarious one, in the Bridget Jones movies, he just about makes them bearable, as you need something to distract from Renee "why does she look like someones shining the sun in her eyes all the time" Zellweger

Ickle Magoo

The book is far superior to the film so I'd thank the script before Mr Grant. I don't know if it's the bumbling public school boy persona or the floppy hair making out the middle-aged man as some kind of peter-pan lothario - either way he does less than zip for me so to cast him as the leading man in a romcom automatically bombs the film. I liked Renee Zellweger in Chicago but otherwise I find her whole looking through the lashes squeaky voice thing quite irritating.

*wanders into the ranting and raving forum*

krudler

I hated Chicago, one of the most blatant "we want some Oscars!" movies ever made, along with Crash.

Ickle Magoo

Ditto - that's how big a fan of Ms Zellweger I am.

liah

strobe wrote: »

This thread just randomly went down a brilliant avenue. Summer is a bitch, (if you don't recognise that, then you are Summer, at least a little bit (worth thinking about). You probably disagree completely with that. There is a word for that kind of cognitive disonance), sometimes girls are bitches, Summer is the archetypal self obsessed 'it's all about me' bitch, but 3rd rock form the sun guy is the (I used it once so I might as well use it again) archetypal 'that girl that broke my heart is a self obsessed bitch' guy, that's kinda the whole point of the film.

Inception is very very very overrated. (that's 3 'very's', count them, they all count).

:cool:

I do disagree tbh. I'm one of those girls who probably doesn't want to have kids or get married. I don't foresee myself changing my mind, but it could happen. I would hate to think I could be branded as a bitch simply because I can't predict how I'm going to feel a year down the line. It's hardly fair.

Also, she told him flat-out she didn't want anything serious. How is that being a bitch? She was honest with him about what she wanted and he read too far into it. That was his own fault. If he couldn't handle it, he shouldn't've went along with it. Hell, that was even covered in the movie.

This gets back to guys feeling entitled to a girl and if she doesn't feel the same way she's automatically the bitch, which is bs. People can't really help how "into" people they are. And they can't predict what's going to happen down the line or who they'll meet.

To consider someone a bitch just because she didn't want anything serious with him, which she was perfectly up front about from the beginning, and then ended up changing her mind about who she was down the road because she met the right guy... is a bit weird, tbh.