Trans Advice - Question and Concerns

hare05 · 09-04-2011 12:25am

smugchik wrote: »

As a trained therapist, I must agree that handing out hormones without proper consultation is not the way forward. There is the potential for horrific mistakes which could have dire effects on a persons psychological well being. I worked for a short time on transgender issues and am neither unaware of or unfeeling toward the issues and frustrations faced during the process...

Completely agree with you here, I've spoken to a few people who detransitioned (one post Srs) and who felt they had ruined their lives. Hormones need to stay prescription, but we need to change the public perception of medical professionals in this regard. They are not gatekeepers, not some obstacle. They are facilitators, there to help you without judging.

I'd say the best option would be for the prescription to be written on day one. It keeps a paper trail (which you would not have with over the counter hormones, removes the view of psychologists / psychiatrists as gatekeepers (after all, what are they holding back?) But ensures you see them anyway.

C.Robin · 10-04-2011 12:34pm

Hi everyone!
Does the passport office allow changes of gender? If so do you just put down the gender you identify as on the application form or is there a special procedure?
My deed pole just came through and I'm having trouble finding Ireland specific info. Anyone have advice on changing all your documentation, order to do things in etc?

deirdre_dub · 10-04-2011 2:40pm

C.Robin wrote: »

Does the passport office allow changes of gender?

Yes.

You need -

1. The usual documentation people need to get a passport (birth cert etc)

2. Your deed poll.

3. A letter from Loughlinstown (or wherever you get your treatment) to say that you are undergoing treatment for GID.

4. (optional) proof that you have been using your new name for 2 years or more

If you can't comply with requirement 4, then they will give you a 2-year (or 3-year) passport. If you can, then you will get a 10-year one.

I would suggest that you contact the passport office. They have someone who deals with the transgender cases - she is quite nice and helpful.

Anyone have advice on changing all your documentation, order to do things in etc?

Well, some institutions (e.g. banks*) need you to have photo identification, so you should try and get that sorted out quickly. However, for most institutions, I just sent them in a copy of my deed poll with a covering letter.

* I'm currently in a dispute with my bank which is refusing to change the name on one of my accounts. My case is currently with the Financial Services Ombudsman. I'll report back here when my case has come to a conclusion (I'm currently waiting to see if the bank will accept an offer of mediation from the FSO - if not, then the FSO will make a ruling in something like 40 weeks (!) time).

WantToBeRose · 22-04-2011 3:57pm

smugchik wrote: »

There is better follow up aftercare in UK

Thats a good point to make. I'd rather get the surgery in a place where I knew I could return to easily if I had a problem.
I wonder though, is the quality of SRS different in certain places? Say for a "realistic" looking outcome, would getting it in Thailand or London make a differance except for cost?

Links234 · 22-04-2011 4:06pm

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Thats a good point to make. I'd rather get the surgery in a place where I knew I could return to easily if I had a problem.
I wonder though, is the quality of SRS different in certain places? Say for a "realistic" looking outcome, would getting it in Thailand or London make a differance except for cost?

The quality is vastly different, they use different techniques entirely and it can have a big effect not just on looks, but how sensitive you are as well. and the top thai surgeons are possibly among the best in the world.

CrystalLettuce · 22-04-2011 4:26pm

I'm still trying to read up on this whole thing and understand.

I found a forum stating that one operation is generally not enough for convincing SRS due to a number of potential complications.

Someone said earlier that medical card may get you referred to a British surgeon eventually - but will this cover up any follow up operations? Some of the prospects such as necrotic tissue sound quite frightening to leave unattended. Imagining a friend going through that is very scary, but I guess it's important to be supportive.

WantToBeRose · 22-04-2011 5:07pm

Links234 wrote: »

The quality is vastly different, they use different techniques entirely and it can have a big effect not just on looks, but how sensitive you are as well. and the top thai surgeons are possibly among the best in the world.

I thought so. It would be handy to get help in funding for it, but in the end I guess it's part of your body and a proper transition is better then a cheap one!
It's a long way off yet for me, SRS, so hopefully when I come to it I'll have more knowledge of the best place to go.

Do you plan on going to Thailand?

Links234 · 22-04-2011 6:13pm

I think if I do want to go for SRS, then it will most likely be in Thailand, yes. If.

But I'd love to go to Thailand for a holiday anyway.

L.Jenkins · 23-04-2011 2:03pm

Off the current topic of conversation, but I'm curious to know has anybody experienced transphobia and to what extent. This question follows from working with a relative yesterday, who's attitude in general towards trans people wasn't suprising, but pretty disguisting. Doesn't inspire me with much hope as I want to come out soon. Feels like a bit of a set back, and yes, when push comes to shove, I'm a bit of a coward with respect to coming out.

diddlybit · 23-04-2011 2:17pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Off the current topic of conversation, but I'm curious to know has anybody experienced transphobia and to what extent. This question follows from working with a relative yesterday, who's attitude in general towards trans people wasn't suprising, but pretty disguisting. Doesn't inspire me with much hope as I want to come out soon. Feels like a bit of a set back, and yes, when push comes to shove, I'm a bit of a coward with respect to coming out.

I'm not trans, but so sorry that that happened to you. It's awful how one horrible insensitive comment can set somebody back. But you are no coward, it's an extremely difficult thing to do, especially when you have some idea of the neagtive reactions that you might recieve. Remember though, friends and family can say these things out of ignorance as they do not know any trans or queer people. Once they realise that someone in their circle is, they have to re-evalute their opinion.

Someone here once said (papaphrased) "The hardest person to come out to is yourself. Which is so true. You're not a coward, you are extremely brave for being honest with yourself and beginning this journey of discovery (as schamalzy as that sounds.)

Sorry for plagarising someone's quote there, but it really stuck with me.

CrystalLettuce · 23-04-2011 7:58pm

I think you need to correct people when they make remarks like that, it might be hard but you'll only look/feel like an idiot coming out then after them having said that.

deirdre_dub · 23-04-2011 8:37pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Off the current topic of conversation, but I'm curious to know has anybody experienced transphobia and to what extent. This question follows from working with a relative yesterday, who's attitude in general towards trans people wasn't suprising, but pretty disguisting. Doesn't inspire me with much hope as I want to come out soon. Feels like a bit of a set back, and yes, when push comes to shove, I'm a bit of a coward with respect to coming out.

I'm sorry to hear of your experience. It is particularly distressing when it is a relative - unfortunately, losing contact with transphobic relatives is all too common a story amongst trans people. Hopefully it won't come to that in your case.

I've been very lucky indeed in that all of my relatives have accepted me, so the only transphobia I've had to deal with is that from friends and from random strangers on the street. The first two friends I came out to had issues. That set me back, but it didn't stop me from being trans, so I had to go forwards.

My experience of transphobia from random strangers on the street is that I experience less of it the further into my transition I get. I struggle to think of the last time I experienced it. I think the further I get into transition, the more female I look and act and, more importantly, the more female I feel. I used to be terribly self-conscious presenting as Deirdre - lately, that self-consciousness has all but disappeared, and it all helps me to "slip under the radar".

I hope you have the support of trans people in your area? I can highly recommend getting to a support group near you, if you can at all. Transphobia is horrible when you come across it, and that is when the support of friends and other trans people can become quite important.

L.Jenkins · 24-04-2011 1:10pm

deirdre_dub wrote: »

I hope you have the support of trans people in your area? I can highly recommend getting to a support group near you, if you can at all. Transphobia is horrible when you come across it, and that is when the support of friends and other trans people can become quite important.

I head down to Galway once a month to GOSSIP, which is great. I was a bit thrown hearing it from a relative though and I am working on coming out soon enough as I have my endo appointment. No date as of yet as I haven't had a chance to ring back.

hare05 · 10-05-2011 6:51pm

Just wondering... is there any requirement for living as a woman pre-hrt?

Links234 · 10-05-2011 8:30pm

hare05 wrote: »

Just wondering... is there any requirement for living as a woman pre-hrt?

No, not in Ireland anyway.

hare05 · 10-05-2011 9:40pm

Links234 wrote: »

No, not in Ireland anyway.

Oh thank god. I'll need every bit of chemical help I can get...

Links234 · 10-05-2011 9:54pm

hare05 wrote: »

Oh thank god. I'll need every bit of chemical help I can get...

yeah, that was something I was terrified of, but thankfully Dr. Kelly set my worries at ease and said there's no requirement for living full time before HRT. it's up to you when you feel ready to start presenting as female in your daily life and when to go full time.

WantToBeRose · 11-05-2011 5:34pm

Links234 wrote: »

yeah, that was something I was terrified of, but thankfully Dr. Kelly set my worries at ease and said there's no requirement for living full time before HRT. it's up to you when you feel ready to start presenting as female in your daily life and when to go full time.

Thank goodness for that!

L.Jenkins · 12-05-2011 5:19pm

Got my endo appointment for august the 31st.

WantToBeRose · 12-05-2011 5:24pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Got my endo appointment for august the 31st.

Brilliant!

Must feel so good to have a date!

I'm still waiting for word back. I don't even know if they have opened my doctors letter yet! Did you keep ringing them? Should I try giving them a call?

L.Jenkins · 12-05-2011 8:00pm

Its great to have something to have me sane and focused

. Keep ringing and absolutely haunt them.

WantToBeRose · 14-05-2011 3:43pm

I have two numbers for loughlinstown, should I call both or is there one specific one?

L.Jenkins · 14-05-2011 3:49pm

01 211 5066 gets you straight through to the Dr O Shays secretary.

WantToBeRose · 14-05-2011 3:57pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

01 211 5066 gets you straight through to the Dr O Shays secretary.

Thanks a million. I'll try it monday

L.Jenkins · 14-05-2011 4:02pm

Just remember, keep ringing and don't get disheartened. As much as you may get fraustrated, keep at them until you get what you want, because they seem to do as little as possible with respect to helping us.

WantToBeRose · 14-05-2011 4:05pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Just remember, keep ringing and don't get disheartened. As much as you may get fraustrated, keep at them until you get what you want, because they seem to do as little as possible with respect to helping us.

Thats terrible. I mean aren't we like the majority of their patients? You'd think they'd want to help since it's supposed to be a hospital!

L.Jenkins · 14-05-2011 4:12pm

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Thats terrible. I mean aren't we like the majority of their patients? You'd think they'd want to help since it's supposed to be a hospital!

Well, they are also a diabetic clinic aswell. Ireland actually needs a dedicated clinic, because trying to get through to that place for an appointment or anything in general is fúcking rediculous. Hate to sound harsh, but I wonder would others have a hard time getting an appointment quickly.

WantToBeRose · 14-05-2011 4:19pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Well, they are also a diabetic clinic aswell. Ireland actually needs a dedicated clinic, because trying to get through to that place for an appointment or anything in general is fúcking rediculous. Hate to sound harsh, but I wonder would others have a hard time getting an appointment quickly.

I agree, It's like we don't matter enough to have one. Just because there might not be enough Transsexual people in Ireland doesn't mean they can't have a clinic. I mean, how many do they need to get one running?!

Do the Hormones and injections come on with medical card? it would be so handy for me if they did.

L.Jenkins · 14-05-2011 4:23pm

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Do the Hormones and injections come on with medical card? it would be so handy for me if they did.

They do from what I hear which is great. I couldn't afford it otherwise. I'm already on medication for a totally unrelated condition that costs €700 a month and I wouldn't be able to afford that either if it wasn't for the medical card.

hare05 · 14-05-2011 9:12pm

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

They do from what I hear which is great. I couldn't afford it otherwise. I'm already on medication for a totally unrelated condition that costs €700 a month and I wouldn't be able to afford that either if it wasn't for the medical card.

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

€700 a month

Jaysus.

Trans Advice - Question and Concerns

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