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Dental plan!
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When Homer becomes a food critic
Luigi: Homer, he's out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review!
Bart: He can hear pudding!
Homer: The food at the Gilded Truffle really ... What's a good word?
Maggie sucks
Homer: Sucks! That's great! And the bread was really ... Come on, help me out here!
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff!
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: Chewy! That's inspired!
Screw Flanders!0 -
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From the old man and the lisa episode
Bart: Oh, recycling is useless, Lis. Once the sun burns out,
this planet is doomed. You're just making sure we spend
our last days using inferior products.
Homer: Your ideas are intriguing and i'd like to subscribe to your newletter.
Mr Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These
are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity
hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church...... Or synagogue.
Mr Burns:Are there any questions?
Principla Skinner:Well I ask a question even if the kids aren't interested. Which do you think is more important, hard work or sticktoitness.
Mr Burns: Are there any real questions?
Mr Burns: Let's check out the old stock portfolio. How's our Confederated slave holdings doing?
Yes Men: Good
Smithers: I'm sure all your stocks are doing good sir, after all you chose them.
Burns: Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market
crash!
Smithers: Um, well... sir, it happened twenty five years before I
was born.
Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything
Principal Skinner: A half-ton of newspaper and all we get is seventy five
cents? That won't even cover the gas I used to go to the
store to buy the twine to tie up the bundles.
Man: It sounds like YOU'RE working for your car-r-r.
Simplify-y, ma-an!
Principl Skinner: Sorry kids, we have no more money so the trip to albany has been cancelled, and there's to be no recyclying anymore.
Lisa: We didn't do so badly since, we still saved enough for that tree.
*Skinner backs into the tree and knocks it down, with Ralph crying*
Marge: Homer, you didn't tell me Mr. Burns went broke and lost
the nuclear power plant!
Homer: Now I can't remember every little thing that happens in my
day.
Marge: You told me about that candy bar you found three times.
Bart: You found a candy bar?
Homer: Oh yes. Gather around, my son, and I shall tell you a
tale.
Marge: They're not going to lose the plant are they?
Homer: Nah they put Lenny in charge
*Cuts to a scene with Lenny at his desk and asking workers to work harder*
Mr Burns: Ketchup, Catsup. Oh i'm in way over my head here.
Abe Simpson: That's the activity room. We're not allowed in there.
That's the library. Not allowed in there either. And
don't even think about going into the game room.
Mr Burns: Egad, man! How are we supposed to pass the time?
Abe: Best bet is to stake yourself out a good spot at the
staring window.
*three decrepit old people stare outside a window, where
there's nothing but a bare tree with one leaf, standing on
grass*
Barney: Hey aren't you that guy everybody hates?
Mr Burns: Oh my no, i'm Mr Burns.
Mr Burns: Ooh don't poo-poo a nickel, Lisa. A nickel will buy you a
steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of
cheesecake and a newsreel. With enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery
Park to the polo grounds.
*Lisa unimpressed*
Lisa: There's a can......
Lisa: Oh, I'm not doing this for the money. I'm just happy
knowing that future generations will enjoy unspoiled
median strips and pristine highway embankments.
*Burns unimpressed*
Mr Burns: There's a can.....
Kent Brockman: Excuse me, Mr. Burns, now that you're completely ruined, how do you feel?
Mr Burns: Excellent. I'm on my way back to the top! I've turned
these cans into can-dos!
Kent: Well, you smell terrible, Good luck to you, sir
Mr Burns: Hey I thought I told you to stop licking my windows.
Barney: I know, but this morning I woke up and said Barney you're not going to lick.....
Mr Burns: Save it for your next AA meeting
*Slams window shut*
Lisa: Oh, I can't get the smell of slurry out
of my clothes. I was a fool to help that horrible old
man!
Homer: I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone.
Smithers: Mr Simpson why aren't you at work?
Homer: I made a bad mistake a work so Lenny sent me home to think about it. But I forget so i'm just watching TV.
Smithers: Well Lenny's reing of terror is over. Mr Burns just bought the plant back.
Mr Burns: I sold the recyclying plant for $120 million and bought the plant back today.
*Lisa sarcastic*
Lisa: Congradulations
Mr Burns: Yes, well since you were my partner you're entitled to 10% of the profits.
*Hands Lisa cheque for $12 million*
Lisa: But I can't accept that, knowing where it came from, can I mom?
Marge Do whatever your concious tells you.
*Lisa rips up the check, and Homer collapses on the ground*
Lisa: I'm sorry, Dad.
Homer: It's all right. I understand. But we really could've
used that twelve thousand dollars.
Lisa:Um, Dad, ten percent of a hundred and twenty
million dollars isn't twelve thousand dollars. It's ...
Woman: *over intercom* Code blue! Code Blue!
I think I must have quoted the whole episode. 0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihuRcDBCrgg
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