Strippers at parties - how do you react?

convert

Ok, while strippers may not necessarily be my 'thing', I can understand that they are 'fair game' at hen/stag nights, but at a birthday party with family members and significant other is just a little too much...

Not sure how I'd react, to be honest... I'd probably end up sitting there with the group 'till it finished, and unless someone else got up and left first, I doubt I'd be the first one to up and leave...

And if it was done to my OH... Well, let's just say I think his mates would know better than to order a stripper when I was there... 'Tho I'm pretty sure it's something my mates would order for him knowing I was there just for a (childish) laugh! :rolleyes:

Sid_Justice

I wouldn't consider myself a cowardly person but if a stripper turned up at my 30th birthday I'd bolt for the loo and lock myself in and would not return until I was 100% certain said stripper had been paid and told her services would not be needed.

I inadvertently gate crashed a 30th birthday for a lesbian girl who's friends had organised a male stripper as surprise. It was actually quite a lot of fun, he was just a pretty decently shaped bloke that stripped down to skimpy undies and told some kinda naff rhymes/jokes. it was all quite fun and harmless and she went along with it but didn't do anything she didn't want to.

The party was mostly all her close friends, no family.

if it was at a party and a female stripper turned up i'd probably just discretely leave. Probably being accused of double standards here but I think male stripper is generally very innocent thing but female seems a bit more raunchy and exploitative.

fionav3

Is strippers the done thing at birthday parties now?

Tbh, I would be disgusted and appalled if one showed up at a family birthday party. I'm no prude and have absolutely no objection to strippers at stags or hens; that's par for course really. But at a birthday party? Time and a place. What a bunch of moronic friends, if any of mine ever did that to me in front of my family then I'd never speak to them again!

LittleBook

panda100 wrote: »

Everytime I've gone to a party and there's been a stripper there

LMAO, I read:

panda100 wrote: »

Everytime I've gone to a party there's been a stripper there

Not even sure I could have left it at walking out, if I was the wife/girlfriend/sister/mother I think I would have actually stopped the show ... then I would have hunted down the little f#ckwit who thought this was a great idea and learned him some manners. :mad:

Brendog

In my opinion, Its brilliant! contrary to popular belief the whole fun out of it comes from the persons absolute akwardness in the situation.

You can have the biggest "lad" ever. Some idiot named wayne or something, obsessed with "KNOCKERS!! WAHAY!!" and he'll be like a child when given a lap dance. Its all a good laugh.


can't stand the heat? Go to another room....

Yourself

I was at a 21st recently and they had a stripper for the guy. A shy guy and he was physically carried by one of his mates to the dancefloor.

Brendog wrote: »

can't stand the heat? Go to another room....

His 87 year old grandmother was there (she'd have difficulty moving to another room), not to mention his mother etc etc.
Its nothing they havent seen before but its nothing that they'd be interested in being around either.

It was unbelievable the lengths that grown men went to, to get a look at the action, standing on tables and chairs, pushing past girls... shameful. The stipper pulled his trousers down then reveling his backside gave him 21 lashes with a whip and he was roaring red. :eek:

He spent the rest of the night apologising to his family and female friends explaining how embarrassed he was.

My point is I'm sure he would have enjoyed it far more if it was just him and the lads. It was a complete waste of money to hire her for those 10 mins that night because it the only reason he was embarrassed wasnt because he was inexperienced/usually pretending to be a hard man but because you dont mix family time and sexual experiences!

Elle Collins

Callan57 wrote: »

I find it really depressing that the issue seems to be 'knowing that the girlfriend/sister/mother will be present' implying that it is OK but not in front of the Mammie! I'd be fairly sure Mammie has seen it all already!
But for me the issue is the infantile and inadequate mindset of someone who thinks a stripper (the exploitation of another human being) is OK or amusing in ANY circumstances.

+ 1

citytillidie

Sid_Justice wrote: »

I wouldn't consider myself a cowardly person but if a stripper turned up at my 30th birthday I'd bolt for the loo and lock myself in and would not return until I was 100% certain said stripper had been paid and told her services would not be needed.

I inadvertently gate crashed a 30th birthday for a lesbian girl who's friends had organised a male stripper as surprise. It was actually quite a lot of fun, he was just a pretty decently shaped bloke that stripped down to skimpy undies and told some kinda naff rhymes/jokes. it was all quite fun and harmless and she went along with it but didn't do anything she didn't want to.

The party was mostly all her close friends, no family.

if it was at a party and a female stripper turned up i'd probably just discretely leave. Probably being accused of double standards here but I think male stripper is generally very innocent thing but female seems a bit more raunchy and exploitative.

I have seen two shows in mixed crowds one by a female stripper and one by a male stripper and all I can say is that the male one was much worse.

Female stripper did a strip to her thong and left as the guy told her the situation and she understood, it was an easy show for her.

However the male he wanted to stay and tried to dip his thing into the girls drink, her friends were cheering and egging him on to do more.

It took the girls bf and 2 brothers to get him out of the house before all hell broke loose.

Nuggatey

Well I have two very different stories concerning strippers...
A few years ago for a male friend's 21st we got him a stripper. This was because he was fond of stripping after he had a few pints and even got offered a job as a stripper while on holidays in Spain with his gf after stripping on a night out. Anyway, the stripper stripped to pretty modest underwear and then made our friend strip. It was by no means raunchy or degrading. It was actually pretty funny.

Last March I was in Westport with my fiance, a few male friends and one other girl. We were in a bar when the dj announced there was someone to visit "John" on his stag night. "John" and his friends were at the table next to us. The stripper arrived over....sat yer man on a chair....basically gave him a lap dance taking off all her clothes except for knickers.....sprayed whipped cream on her nipples and other places and made the stag AND a few of his mates lick it off...then poured baby oil over herself.....took off the guys top and pulled down his jeans....pulled out his boxers from his waist....poured the lotion down his pants and stuck her hand down where she copped a good feel for a few seconds.

Well I was disgusted!!! Stripper number one was all in good fun.....stripper number two was a prostitute in my eyes. Even the stags friend said to us afterwards....."Jays we'd no idea that was gonna happen when we hired her".

If I was that poor guys fiancee I would be devastated to find out that happened. I've warned our best man....lucky he's my friend too!

flange46

i think its so embarassing especially at a family party my sons friends got one for him at his party and i didnt approve but didnt want to cause a scene. i think he was embarassed himself . it should be confined to a lads night

fionav3

I asked my brother and some male friends what they thought about this and they were all horrified! Seems the general consenses is that strippers are great fun on a lads night out but never in a million years where there's a family party. Guess the guy the OP was talking about just has really bad friends.

_Kate_

Some mates is right!

There's actually a big party coming up for my boyfriend and i'm actually mortified that his friends AND cousins would arrange a stripper.

How is a girlfriend to react? Without being seeing to be jealous, or an attitude or is there a way to not to have a face!

Daisies

Strippers at a family party? What planet are these people living on?
I even think for hen parties it needs to be seriously considered as the mother of the bride and groom are normally there. Was at a hen party recently, no stripper TG but the mothers were very uncomfortable with the blow up doll on the night.

Trier

I like winning. I would have a man or even several guys doing the equivalent for all the ladies around...:D

That's how i roll. And i'm not even kidding. Even closer to the end of the night if needed, i would have a friend or even a male stripper found quick to come and do that for the girls. And also i would have befriended the (female) stripper, and been/acted super fascinated about her condition/work etc (even pay her more than she was paid to be brought here if needed so that she can send the guys to piss off because she's "talking" without being concerned about money...). bet the guys would be well pissed off! :P

The way to piss off guys and have fun (not getting ulcers in the process and not being a killjoy) and being really egalitarian is to ENJOY yourself more, have an equivalent, show female solidarity in a positive way... Trust me. It's the tougher, most unconventional route for someone but it's all worth it!

I know not the answer most people here would have expected but i love thinking out of the box in a way that really leaves a mark in such situations... Then you have the 'it was family party, was not really appropriate' talk not forgetting to mention the "but it was good fun after all, you should make tactful mistakes and provocations like this more often" in humour.... Showing you always make the most of every situation, are pro-active, show a good example to the little girls/children around about female solidarity and open-mindedness, emotional intelligence... But then they will listen and you will be in a position of power + a bit more relaxed and open-minded for it :P ...the problem is not with the stripper, it's with the stupid friend + husband not intervening.

pollypocket10

Was just reading through this thread, and mentioned it in the office. The stories some of the guys here told me have shocked and appalled me. One even recounting a stripped having full blown intercourse in front of all the attendees at his stag. You might think this happened in the red-light district of some Eastern European country, but no, it was the sunny south east of Ireland.

TBH, in you position I would have left. In the wifes position I would have told the girl to get the hell out of there myself.

And Trier, a persons opinion on strippers, has no baring on your emotional intelligence or how open minded you are but that is a topic for another thread.

CrackisWhack

hippiechickie wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

In fairness i think your being a bit harsh on him there, he may have been in shock, lots of people around, not knowing what to say or do etc.

It's his mates fault for putting him in that situation, and if it happened to me i'd have a quiet word wit them afterwards!

But they wouldn't do it in the first place, because they're not retarded!

dugganindeep

I think strippers can be great fun. Maybe at a 21st with family members is not the best timing.
But if it's discussed in advance and it's a fun crowd then bring it on.
God so many people in this country are just so dry and prudish.

We got one recently for a 40th birthday and it went down a treat.

The crowd at Stripireland are great and their performers will tame down the performance if asked. It's just supposed to be a bit of fun.
Niamh.

Logical Fallacy

Even as a bloke i hate the whole stripper thing. It's just annoying and childish to me.

If any of my mates got a stripper for my birthday/stag whatever i'd actually just tell her to go home, but she could keep their money.

Invariably there are about 3 or 4 lads who actually want the stripper there then the rest are just herd following.

Most parties seem to end up being about the people who organise them, rather than the person they are for.

speedboatchase

Hate strippers myself, though I do the dynamics between male and female strippers fascinating. Female strippers seem to receive huge security to ensure no man places a finger on hm while male strippers can get masturbated (and more) in front of baying crowds?

Found this thread about male strippers, whether you're male or female, it will make you lose faith in humanity, as the ladies don't reckon giving a stripper a bj in front of friends isn't cheating??

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/male-strippers-and-hen-night-what-do-you-ladies-g-t117939.html?sid=7255300fc8b465e41da447ccd4407d60

rantyface

I wouldn't like if people organised a stripper for my boyfriend, but neither would he. I'd be disappointed in him if he didn't refuse the dance.

If my family were there and he didn't refuse the lap dance, I would be absolutely mortified. I don't think he could ever fit in with my family after that and that would be too much for me to put up with. It would cause too much tension.

I think your friend was very restrained! I could hold it in in public but in private I know the relationship would disintegrate.

I don't have any problem with strippers. They're just doing a job and getting paid for it.

magentas

oh dear god I've just read this thread and am truely shocked:eek:

since when are strippers been hired for frigin birthdays???

Even at hens/stags it's just so rediculously juvenile. All it equates to is akwardness and to be honest I think it's so tacky to hire a stripper.

I honestly feel so sorry for everyone at that party bar handiquack friends who thought it'd be funny and husband who didn't stop it.
Had he no respect for his poor wife having to watch as some skank shoved her chest in his face...how humiliating for her.

I'm really disgusted at some of the stories. Firstly I would hope my boyfriends mates wouldn't ever be stupid enough to pull a stunt like this but if they did, I most certainly would hope (in fact very confident) that he would have a bit of backbone to stand up and say WTF? cop on!!!:mad:

BrookieD

speedboatchase wrote: »

Hate strippers myself, though I do the dynamics between male and female strippers fascinating. Female strippers seem to receive huge security to ensure no man places a finger on hm while male strippers can get masturbated (and more) in front of baying crowds?

Found this thread about male strippers, whether you're male or female, it will make you lose faith in humanity, as the ladies don't reckon giving a stripper a bj in front of friends isn't cheating??

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/male-strippers-and-hen-night-what-do-you-ladies-g-t117939.html?sid=7255300fc8b465e41da447ccd4407d60

Dam i just read this thread and the thread link above. First strippers not of interest to me at all, the wife is the same. But the thread above is disgusting, Dont get me wrong i am very open minded but to suggest that giving a stripper a quick hand job or BJ is OK as it is harmless fun is plain wrong...

MrDarcy

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would have left and I would have asked if any of the other ladies wanted to come with me, I've done it be and had a fair few people follow me out of the function room and into the bar proper. If it's a lads night out for the birthday thats one thing but if it's a family function then in my opinion it's not on.

And of course I imagine the rules are completely changed then when it's a girl who the party is for and a male stripper shows up... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

tatabubbly

My friends order a stripper for me on my 21st, which i found the most humiliating thing i've ever went through. It was horrible and it totally ruined my night. I spent half an hour in the loos trying to calm myself down, and stop crying. My OH was downstairs hiding at the time drinking cos he couldn't watch.

They apologised profusely, but i was still humiliated, and i think the worst thing was it was in front of my whole family.

Osgoodisgood

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

If any of my mates got a stripper for my birthday/stag whatever i'd actually just tell her to go home, but she could keep their money.

My thoughts exactly.
I made sure my best man knew before my stag that I honestly wasn't interested in strippers and that I'd send any home that turned up. Fortunately he was of like mind and in any case knew me well enough to know I wasn't kidding.

It's a very strange dynamic to want to embarrass a friend in that way. I don't get it.

Nevyn

MrDarcy wrote: »

And of course I imagine the rules are completely changed then when it's a girl who the party is for and a male stripper shows up... :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

What makes you think I wouldn't do the exact same no matter the gender of the stripper?

xzanti

Just thought I'd share this..

Was at my friends Hens party in Waterford back in March.. There was a male stripper organized for her in the house before we went out as the restaurant had a 'no stripper' policy.. So anyway, the Maid of Honour gets a call about an hour before he was to show up to say he had broken his leg and a 'replacement' was being sent..

The guy they sent was totally unprofessional, complete creep and was wearing off white Y-Fronts with a cheezy looking leopard print g-string under it.. He didn't even look like a stripper.. Probably just yermans mate who offered to step in for the laugh..

Anyway after his little 'performance' (he stuck his hairy little arse in her face, sat on her lap and kept trying to kiss her, this filled about 20 minutes) his other mate arrives, the two of them start helping themselves to the drink we had on the table for after the club and getting themselves nice and cozy.. There was about 30 of us so I reckon they thought their ship had come in.. Probably thought we'd be delighted with ourselves and start throwing ourselves at them :rolleyes:

When they were asked to leave, as we had reservations at the restaurant, their English suddenly deteriorated and it took about 20 minutes to get them off the premises (rented chalet for the weekend)

Also the 2 of them slipped off out to the back of the house at one stage and from what we could see it looked like they were checking the security of the house, looking up at windows and back doors etc so we had to fairly bolt the house up when we left..

Scary stuff luckily that was the last we saw of them for the evening!!

Live4Ever

xzanti wrote: »

The guy they sent was totally unprofessional, complete creep and was wearing off white Y-Fronts with a cheezy looking leopard print g-string under it.. He didn't even look like a stripper.. Probably just yermans mate who offered to step in for the laugh..

Anyway after his little 'performance' (he stuck his hairy little arse in her face, sat on her lap and kept trying to kiss her, this filled about 20 minutes) his other mate arrives, the two of them start helping themselves to the drink we had on the table for after the club and getting themselves nice and cozy.. There was about 30 of us so I reckon they thought their ship had come in.. Probably thought we'd be delighted with ourselves and start throwing ourselves at them :rolleyes:

That was hilarious up until they started checking the house for security measures. I dont blame them a room full of women......:eek::D

Ive been at a few 21st where there was a stripper in front of parents, grandparents and girlfriends. Now me and every other lad thought it was amazing (its in the genes I guess).

Personally I would have hated it at my 21st, in front of parents etc its pretty disgraceful. I suppose at a stretch a "toned down" stripper may have been acceptable. Actually now that I thinka bout it any stripper Ive seen at a birthday was organized by the birthday boys "scumbag friends" who couldnt give a **** about anyone else. Makse sense!

xzanti

Live4Ever wrote: »

That was hilarious up until they started checking the house for security measures. I dont blame them a room full of women......:eek::D

I!

Oh yeah it was pretty funny in hindsight, and we could laugh about it once they were gone and we felt safe again

Not really what you want though when you're paying for a service.. and normally they can't get away quick enough to get to the next venue, these were just pure chancers..

Live4Ever

xzanti wrote: »

Oh yeah it was pretty funny in hindsight, and we could laugh about it once they were gone and we felt safe again

Not really what you want though when you're paying for a service.. and normally they can't get away quick enough to get to the next venue, these were just pure chancers..

I think the fact that it was probably the strippers mate filling in makes it incredibly funny. I can picture him prancing around making a show of himself.

Yeah true that you paid for a decent stripper not a crappy scumbag one!