Strippers at parties - how do you react?

hippiechickie

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Nevyn

I would have left and I would have asked if any of the other ladies wanted to come with me, I've done it be and had a fair few people follow me out of the function room and into the bar proper. If it's a lads night out for the birthday thats one thing but if it's a family function then in my opinion it's not on.

Macha

hippiechickie wrote: »

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Dear god that sounds like the most horrifying experience. Knowing me, I probably would have made a scene or at least made my disgust very apparent. It's bad enough this crap goes on but to expect women to be complicit in it for fear of accusations of being a "spoilsport" or not having a sense of humour (because sexism is sooo hilarious) is nothing short of censorship.

baby and crumble

Thaedydal wrote:

If it's a lads night out for the birthday thats one thing but if it's a family function then in my opinion it's not on.

Totally agree. Everyone's entitled to fun, and strippers of either gender don't bother me in the slightest, but I do think the friends who need to grow up and cop on. People being forced to smile and laugh along is not cool, and especially someone's WIFE and MAM?? :eek::eek:

Shudder.

Posy

I agree with the above posters. At a stag do/lads night out I don't really see the harm. It can be perceived as a bit of fun for the fellas. But at a family function with the man's family present, it is grossly inappropriate!

The Big Red Button

Totally agree with all of those replies.

How did the man himself react?! I assume he wasn't expecting it? To be perfectly honest, in those circumstances if it was my husband, I was be very pissed off if he didn't put an end to it - even if it meant that he looked like a "bad sport" or whatever. I would expect him to act out of respect for his wife and family members and not just go along with it to look cool or whatever in front of his mates.

diverdad

When is your 30th? Is the stripper booked yet?

Seriously, it was too too much to carry on like that with family present. Granted he may not have known about the stripper being booked by his mates and the embarassment factor caused to him must have caused them no end of laughs.

It would have been resonable behaviour to walk out on the proceedings and let them [the lads] know of your displeasure. How would they all feel if the roles were reversed?

As a male, even I would find this situation very sleezy.

Clare Bear

I'd walk out. Not in a big throwing a strop way, more a "Right lets leave the lads (and whatever ladies want to stay) to it" kind of way without wanting to embarrass anyone involved, especially the birthday boy.

I wouldn't be too impressed with his friends though for arranging it knowing his wife and mother would be there. A stag do fair enough but that was completely out of order. What a bunch of idiots :rolleyes:

Panthro

yup, as a bloke, if my mates got a stripper in knowing that a girlfriend/wife and family were going to be there, I would be rather pished off with the lads. Clearly the lads showed nil respect for the fella's wife/family etc, I would be seriously wondering what sort of mates do I have.
surely they knew there is a time and place for that kind of thing.

baby and crumble

Yeah TBH I think the issue here is with the moronic friends. Are they 30 too? Really? Really?

hippiechickie

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The Big Red Button

hippiechickie wrote: »

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Ah I don't blame you. If I was the wife or one of the sisters, I certainly wouldn't have stuck around. But if I wasn't directly involved and was just a friend or acquaintance ... well, I would certainly leave quietly if I got the opportunity, but I wouldn't feel it was my place to cause a scene and run the risk of ruining the party for everyone. Although I'd say that having the stripper there probably ruined it to an extent for his family anyways!

Gillo

Regardless of the recipients gender there's a time and a place, yeah it was bad having a spouse and family there but there's a good chance if it was a 30th there'd be nephews and neices there too.

In fairness to the guy in question, unless he's a complete knob I doubt he found it anyway amusing himself considering the situation. Yes, he should have refused, but that's a lot easier to say when we're not stuck in a situation like that, I remember being in a busy city centre pub in town, there was a girl there who was having a birthday party and her mates ordered a stripper, some of her family were there and you could see her discomfort but her "mates" literally held her to the chair until the stripper got going. Point is it can be easy to throw stones when we aren't the victims.
There's a time and a place for having a laugh like that and he's mates need a serious kick in the a$$.

Scarinae

I know a girl whose friends organised a male stripper for her 21st birthday party, even though her family (parents, grandmother etc) were there. She was mortified but went along with it at first, even when he got her to lean over a table and 'spanked' her, but when he tried to get her to eat a banana out of his crotch she couldn't go along with it anymore. She was absolutely furious with her friends and it kind of ruined the party for her.

I think she went along with it because she was taken off guard and didn't know what to do, so I guess she figured to get it over with? It's really unfair of so-called friends to do something like this at a family party imo, seems to be designed more to embarrass the birthday girl/boy than to actually provide any titillation.

panda100

Everytime I've gone to a party and there's been a stripper there I find it just uncomfortable rather than funny tbh.
I've been on a few hen's where there's been strippers and its always the akward part of the evening,especially for the bride to be, but it seems to be the done thing so people just go along with it.

I love the shenangians on a hen night,like the dares and dressing up but the stripper stuff just doesnt amuse me that much at all,its just degarding for both parties involved.

kippy

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would have left and I would have asked if any of the other ladies wanted to come with me, I've done it be and had a fair few people follow me out of the function room and into the bar proper. If it's a lads night out for the birthday thats one thing but if it's a family function then in my opinion it's not on.

Speaking as a male, I would totally agree with that stance......
Jesus how terarded were the guys who organised this? Some "mates". Absolutely shocking behavior.
Relatively fair enough on Hens/Stags/One sex only affairs, but at a family event?

xzanti

I was at a 21st a few weeks ago and the stripper actually pulled her thong to one side and rubbed 'herself' off the guy.. I felt so sorry for his GF.. she had actually booked it, I guess she probably thought it was just to be a bit of 'slap & tickle' feather duster job.. Boy was she wrong it was obscene...

Jack B. Badd

hippiechickie wrote: »

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The stripper wouldn't have bothered me as much as that retarded adolescent attitude. He's 30 and he still gives into the pressure to "act cool" in front of his mates? That's an attractive quality in a man (or woman) :rolleyes:

baby and crumble

xzanti wrote:

I was at a 21st a few weeks ago and the stripper actually pulled her thong to one side and rubbed 'herself' off the guy.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

That is VILE. What would happen if a woman was at a male stripper and he whacked one out on top of her? He's get done for public indecency at the very least.

Oh that is just horrendous...

Handsome Bob

My mates kept insisting that they were going to get me a stripper for my 21st and it actually gave me a lot of needless stress. No way would I have wanted a stripper when my elderly parents and plenty of female relatives/friends were going to be there.

But then you have the problem of refusing to play along and coming across as a frigid or a wuss in front of male friends and relatives. And knowing my friends and relatives, there would have been a struggle, forcing me into the chair. Which would have been so embarassing.

Thankfully there was no stripper. :pac: I think I got the message across when I threatened physical violence towards the guy who was threatening me most about it.

Neyite

jeez. some friends.

on what planet, exactly, would a stripper in front of your mammy, nan, wife and kids be appropriate??

how mature:rolleyes:

Red Hand

Neyite wrote: »

jeez. some friends.

on what planet, exactly, would a stripper in front of your mammy, nan, wife and kids be appropriate??

how mature:rolleyes:

Most embarressing thing ever.

Black Swan

Strips in front of Mum and sisters? This raises the bar to a whole new level of bad taste in parties.

angelxx

I think strippers are best left for boys nights out, It is always going too be hugely
uncomfortable for any female family members involved.

Truley

Wow I find it quite shocking that someone would think that was a good idea, at a family function?? I don't blame the birthday guy though, he was put in a very awkward situation and I'd imagine he was under alot of pressure to go along with it. Hen nights and stag nights are the only times I think it's fair game to have a stripper. And even then I think people should be cautious of their guests and what they're actually letting themselves in for.

My sister was at a 21st birthday Anne Summers party recently. Now I have never been to one before but had always presumed it was a bit of harmless games and looking at toys, underwear etc. However while she's by no means a prudish person she was actually quite shocked, and a little upset by the aggressive sex talk she was expected to engage in, very invasive truth or dare games, and at one stage the party rep coerced her to kneel in the middle of the room while she 'spanked' her with a riding crop in front of everyone :eek:

I'm sure it was a bit of fun for the other guests but stuff like that isn't for everyone and puts people in a very tough position to either go along with it and not be seen as a prude, or to do something that can be very uncomfortable and embarrassing. Especially since in my sister's case photos were taken and of course surfaced on facebook. She even went as far as to say she felt almost violated coming out of it. And I would be inclined to agree she was.

The Big Red Button

Truley wrote: »

My sister was at a 21st birthday Anne Summers party recently. Now I have never been to one before but had always presumed it was a bit of harmless games and looking at toys, underwear etc. However while she's by no means a prudish person she was actually quite shocked, and a little upset by the aggressive sex talk she was expected to engage in, very invasive truth or dare games, and at one stage the party rep coerced her to kneel in the middle of the room while she 'spanked' her with a riding crop in front of everyone :eek:

I'm sure it was a bit of fun for the other guests but stuff like that isn't for everyone and puts people in a very tough position to either go along with it and not be seen as a prude, or to do something that can be very uncomfortable and embarrassing. Especially since in my sister's case photos were taken and of course surfaced on facebook. She even went as far as to say she felt almost violated coming out of it. And I would be inclined to agree she was.

OK that sounds really awful. I've never been to those parties, but I have heard about what goes on and seen photos. But I always sort of assumed that the guests were engaging in it voluntarily, and only participating to an extent that they were comfortable with ... it's horrible to think that someone would feel forced into anything. Reading your post would seriously put me off ever going to one of those.

baby and crumble

Yeah, that's pretty bad, although I do think it depends on who the host and the ann summers rep is... I hosted one once and our rep had a chat with us at the start and we kinda said how far it was ok to go with some things, and that some people wouldn't be up for some stuff, and she was grand. None of my friends are big drinkers, so she didn't do any drinking game things, or anything like that, and there was certainly no spanking!!!

Nervous Wreck

I wouldn't want a stripper under any circumstances. If same happened to me in front of my family, I'd ask her to leave and toss the lads responsible out too. Morons.

angelxx

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I wouldn't want a stripper under any circumstances. If same happened to me in front of my family, I'd ask her to leave and toss the lads responsible out too. Morons.

I agree, Who on earth could think hiring a stripper, knowing the girlfriend/sister/mother
will be present is a good idea.

Snoopy1

His friends seriously need to grow up. Booking a stripper for his 30th when they knew there would be wives girlfriends and family present, what idiots are they??

Callan57

angelxx wrote: »

I agree, Who on earth could think hiring a stripper, knowing the girlfriend/sister/mother
will be present is a good idea.

I find it really depressing that the issue seems to be 'knowing that the girlfriend/sister/mother will be present' implying that it is OK but not in front of the Mammie! I'd be fairly sure Mammie has seen it all already!
But for me the issue is the infantile and inadequate mindset of someone who thinks a stripper (the exploitation of another human being) is OK or amusing in ANY circumstances.
It should also be remembered that the underlying intention behind booking a stripper of either gender, regardless of the occasion, is principally to embarrass or humiliate the 'target' ... not exactly what a 'friend' would do.
That a 'friend' of mine would think that a stripper is a gesture I would appreciate would IMO imply they held a fairly low opinion of me & I'm fairly confident no friend of mine would ever dream of booking one.