Mad replacement words

raveni

Hambag instead of handbag
Axe instead of ask

Wolf Club

A typical one down the west is 'hang sangwidge' for ham sandwich.

Dr. Feelgood

everyone makes McSteaks.

belongtojazz

I hate when people use the word "brought" instead of "bought" this was really common where I lived in the UK, used to make me cringe

Feeona

I think politicians, and sports stars (especially GAA sportsmen, right after an exciting game) are the worst offenders. They know what the sentence is, but it comes out arseways.
I always remember Bertie Ahern saying that he 'wouldn't like to upset the apple tart'.

kfallon

The worst one I ever saw was some tit on a Horse Racing forum analysing a race, making a selection and then said that another horse might be "the spanner in the ointment!"

He was some tool himself!

Devil08

Play it by 'year' - its actually play it by 'ear'

I doubt a lot of people know this..

Devil08

Also 'Samwidges' instead of 'Sandwiches'

kagni

One that really annoys me is when someone says "top draw" instead of "top drawer".

silverspoon

These are typed ones I've seen...

"Here, here", when what they mean is "hear, hear".

"Wallah", when what they mean is "voila".

Another one of those is 'chow' instead of ciao...

Also, the word 'undoubtably' instead of 'undoubtedly'. Though in fairness, 'undoubtably' doesn't sound particularly wrong, except for the pretty glaring fact that it is.

People need to be escorted forcibly from the word 'penultimate' also. "That was, like, the penultimate sandwich!" Oh? Is it? When's the final one coming then?

My cousin thinks that he's 'not the sharpest pencil in the toolbox'.

He's not wrong.

Dj Stiggie

A girl said to me yesterday, 'Right I'll go to Maynooth while you hold the fork!'

civis_liberalis

take everything wrote: »

I say tomayto, you say tomahto.

I say potayto you, say potahtoh.

wireless101

My brother once said: "No point in beating around the bandwagon."

Thoie

My neighbour's husband used regularly take the computer flight between Dublin and Cork. The same woman never liked to cast nasturtiums on anyone.

Little Acorn

silverspoon wrote: »

My cousin thinks that he's 'not the sharpest pencil in the toolbox'.

He's not wrong.

Gang of Gin

mathepac wrote: »

Cloak and dagger - spies, double-dealing, subterfuge, nefarious deeds, that sort of stuff.

Upset the apple tart (should be apple cart)
Wet my appetite (should be "whet" or sharpen my appetite)
I should of, a firm favourite on boards.ie (I should have)

Honcho is from the Japanese han = head + cho = team, giving team head or leader

(sorry some replied to already - web connection is like treacle today)

Ahh, you beat me to it! Was gonna reference Boards too.
Hostipal - probably something a child would say but I've heard it from adults.
Some idiot I had the misfortune of being in his company referred to the Kray brothers as the 'Craze' Brothers.

kylith

face1990 wrote: »

Or viola instead of voila.

When I was much, much younger I always confused those too. I remember reading something where the author said something about going to the zoo "... and voila!"; I always wondered why he was suddenly talking about violins. I used to say 'pictureskew' instead of 'picturesque' because I'd only ever seen it written down.

Ah, the stupidity of youth.

Gang of Gin

silverspoon wrote: »

Another one of those is 'chow' instead of ciao...

Also, the word 'undoubtably' instead of 'undoubtedly'. Though in fairness, 'undoubtably' doesn't sound particularly wrong, except for the pretty glaring fact that it is.

People need to be escorted forcibly from the word 'penultimate' also. "That was, like, the penultimate sandwich!" Oh? Is it? When's the final one coming then?

My cousin thinks that he's 'not the sharpest pencil in the toolbox'.

He's not wrong.

Indubitably:pac:

McConkey

taking to something like a fish to water

anndub

Dean09 wrote: »

Well theres a song that I always sing and dunno the words, ye know the one

"my love has got no money, he's got his trombeleeze..."

WTF is a trombeleeze???!!!!!!

Strong beliefs. Dunno why Im admitting to knowing that

landsleaving

I love this thread. It's nice to know that so many other people are as petty and pedantic as I am about these things.

One of my favourite things to do is, while having a row with someone, correct them on all these mistakes. Rage ensues. From them. I just laugh, safe in the knowledge that if they wrote this sentence, rage would have issued.

Eoin

CorsetIsTight wrote: »

These are typed ones I've seen...

"Here, here", when what they mean is "hear, hear".

"Wallah", when what they mean is "voila".

I've also seen something like "what does this mean in Lehman's terms?" (layman's terms)

enda1 wrote: »

No problem with the double negatives for me.
At least English is logical in that sense. Two negatives make a positive as confusing as it may be to remember how many negatives are in a sentence and therefore the message.

I couldn't fail to disagree with you less.

abouttobebanned

These threads are the vein of my existence! :-)

Ramza

For all intensive purposes

up for anything

Chimley or chimbley. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh :mad:

dsmythy

It doesn't really bother me words not being said or written correctly. Language forever evolves over time and if certain ways of saying things become widespread and popular enough then they enter the language.