Mad replacement words

take everything · 14-08-2010 10:31am

bluewolf wrote: »

Or just say "tenets" very clearly a few times in your reply... :pac:

Yes actually that would be the best thing to do.

Ricardo G · 14-08-2010 10:38am

Brother if mine was a Garth Brooks fan (yeah i know) and one such song used to catch him was "I'm Shameless"
My brother always thought he was singin "I'm Seamus"

AskMyChocolate · 14-08-2010 11:14am

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

The original Bertieism was in relation to deferring his pension and he said "playing smokes and daggers" so as well as the cloak and mirrors he may actually have been thinking of snakes and ladders.

And I'd say he claimed for all of them.:mad:

TPD · 14-08-2010 12:27pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfq3c4Cf1Fs

kilmuckridge · 14-08-2010 12:32pm

I have read about phparagus and blphphemy

Lust4Life · 14-08-2010 12:53pm

ColaBeDamned wrote: »

Malapropisms

Have a good example that I heard recently- someone describing a really skinny person as emancipated, instead of emaciated

Ha! They are free to be extra skinny if they choose! Love it!

pearliefan · 14-08-2010 1:26pm

Our principal used to say 'to-s-evening' instead of this evening. It was so irritating!

Big Nasty · 14-08-2010 1:34pm

Ricardo G wrote: »

Brother if mine was a Garth Brooks fan (yeah i know) and one such song used to catch him was "I'm Shameless"
My brother always thought he was singin "I'm Seamus"

You meam Garreth Brooooks surely?

Big Nasty · 14-08-2010 1:35pm

storm2811 wrote: »

My geography teacher used to say pacific instead of specific,don't know if it was intentional though.

I sea what you did there!

midlandsmissus · 14-08-2010 2:53pm

MCMLXXV wrote: »

I sea what you did there!

My mother always says "he's so impotent" about bad behaviour. I think she means impudent

Saft Hans · 14-08-2010 3:11pm

My friend always pronounces "Oprah" as "Opera". So I'm always hearing about her watching Opera on TV3 and all the guests Opera had on and Opera's put on weight again.:mad:

Oh and why do people say festibal instead of festival? And medcin instead of medicine?? And tremenjous instead of tremendous??? It's madness!:rolleyes:

ldxo15wus6fpgm · 14-08-2010 3:53pm

Sangwich for sandwich.

KungPao · 14-08-2010 4:10pm

"We'll come to that bridge when we cross it"

Love that one.

Kimia · 17-08-2010 8:06am

I remember the one that inspired me to begin this thread!

Learning curb

:eek:

Liam Byrne · 17-08-2010 8:21am

A mate of mine says he gets "flustrated".......maybe he is indeed both flustered and frustrated simultaneously!

their and there are regular ones on boards

Double-negatives are the ones that really get me in Ireland,e.g. when someone does something "without impunity", or when I'm asked "if I'm not going out tonight", I never know which to answer : in reality, "No" means I am going out, and "Yes" means "You're correct - I'm not going out tonight", but to avoid confusion I have to consciously use the word "Yes" for "No", and vice-versa!

17-08-2010 8:36am

Liam Byrne wrote: »

A mate of mine says he gets "flustrated".......maybe he is indeed both flustered and frustrated simultaneously!

their and there are regular ones on boards

Double-negatives are the ones that really get me in Ireland,e.g. when someone does something "without impunity", or when I'm asked "if I'm not going out tonight", I never know which to answer : in reality, "No" means I am going out, and "Yes" means "You're correct - I'm not going out tonight", but to avoid confusion I have to consciously use the word "Yes" for "No", and vice-versa!

I think it's so cool there's a german word for that, "doch". We should have one.
But yeah the only way to answer a negative question is with a statement ;s "are you not giong out tonight" "I am going out tonight"

achtungbarry · 17-08-2010 8:45am

A good few years ago my dad was having a look at my sister's wedding presents and said while picking up a set of John Rocha glasses - "Jaysus would you look at those fancy Simon le Bon glasses".

Kimia · 17-08-2010 8:49am

Preturbed! :eek:

enda1 · 17-08-2010 9:24am

I used to say bolgonese instead of bolognese for years!

Damn Mammy!

W.Shakes-Beer · 17-08-2010 9:27am

In the RTE report about boy racer culture.

Some aul fella from a clerical background -

"Ah they do all be in the carparks at night, doing their buns and doughnuts"

enda1 · 17-08-2010 9:27am

Liam Byrne wrote: »

A mate of mine says he gets "flustrated".......maybe he is indeed both flustered and frustrated simultaneously!

their and there are regular ones on boards

Double-negatives are the ones that really get me in Ireland,e.g. when someone does something "without impunity", or when I'm asked "if I'm not going out tonight", I never know which to answer : in reality, "No" means I am going out, and "Yes" means "You're correct - I'm not going out tonight", but to avoid confusion I have to consciously use the word "Yes" for "No", and vice-versa!

No problem with the double negatives for me.
At least English is logical in that sense. Two negatives make a positive as confusing as it may be to remember how many negatives are in a sentence and therefore the message.

But in French/Italian/Spanish its not always the case.

Damn Romance languages!

Stench Blossoms · 17-08-2010 9:31am

Had a customer start their email with 'Firstable' instead of 'First of all'.

Ms. Captain M · 17-08-2010 9:34am

I hear a lot of people saying "volka" meaning vodka.

Qualitymark · 17-08-2010 9:38am

Medcin is correct, as is Garthee (if you're pronouncing the 'th' as the broad-syllable 'd' in Irish). But I hate it when people pronounce Louth and Meath with a soft 'th' rather than the hard sound that's correct.

Love Sarah Palinsms: refudiate for repudiate/refute:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/sarahpalin/a/palinisms.htm

Another beauty from that page:

"Shoot, I must have lived such a doggoned sheltered life as a normal, independent American up there in the Last Frontier, schooled with only public education and a lowly state university degree, because obviously I haven't learned enough to dismiss common sense." --Sarah Palin, on opposition to offshore oil drilling, Facebook note, June 13, 2010

Liam Byrne · 17-08-2010 9:59am

Here's one for the midlanders on boards ..... Port-leash or Port-leash-EH ?

And to follow up on an earlier poster's Charlie Hockey, don't get me started on the lazy English (UK ?) commentators with their Ken Docker-T and Donnerka O Caller-gann & Tom-ass O'Leary, or the pundits and players' penchant for using "was" everywhere, whether it's "I was", "We was" or "They was"......

Hasmunch · 17-08-2010 10:07am

Its funny how so many people can get common phrases wrong...

I mean its not rocket surgery

--Kaiser-- · 17-08-2010 10:24am

You guys would love Trailer Park Boys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfq3c4Cf1Fs

gagiteebo · 17-08-2010 12:15pm

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

You guys would love Trailer Park Boys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jfq3c4Cf1Fs

Haha brilliant

candy-gal1 · 17-08-2010 2:08pm

sheside for seaside

sacket for sachet :rolleyes::o - I ve said this for years and its just stuck no matter what anyone says lol

HorsesNHarleys · 17-08-2010 5:25pm

I used to date a guy that when we disagreed on something he'd say "What exactly are you preferring to"....it was just so darn hard to keep a straight face when he'd say it, I'd have to turn my head away.

Soswozere · 17-08-2010 7:43pm

instead of "chimney", saying chimley, and even chimbley

Jaxxy · 17-08-2010 8:00pm

A man I worked with once accused someone of "casting asparagus" we assumed he meant casting aspersions.

Same man, "your point is mute."

xoxyx · 17-08-2010 10:33pm

I had a huge row with a mate when I said something about a staple diet. She insisted there was no such thing and I meant a stable diet. I still think I was right, but she made some pretty good points.

Best one was "why the hell would they be eating staples???"

:pac:

uberalles · 17-08-2010 11:21pm

Kimia wrote: »

It should be 'head honcho', as in the boss or whatever.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=head%20poncho

CorsetIsTight · 18-08-2010 12:00am

These are typed ones I've seen...

"Here, here", when what they mean is "hear, hear".

"Wallah", when what they mean is "voila".

Dunjohn · 18-08-2010 12:00am

It bugs when people say "on the count of" in sentences like "He didn't see it on the count of having to go away at the time," because it means they're adapting "on a count of" which is the wrong way to say "on account of." It's, like, one whole other thing past wrong.

Star Bingo · 18-08-2010 12:12am

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

You guys would love Trailer Park Boys

shinikins · 07-09-2010 11:25pm

I knew a girl who thought the line "like a death-row pardon, two minutes too late" in Alanis Morrisettes Ironic, was actually "death-row hard-on". She had an argument for it too, that male prisoners get a hard-on when they're executed. One of the lads downloaded the word for the song and she told him he must have edited it to prove her wrong!

face1990 · 08-09-2010 12:00am

CorsetIsTight wrote: »

"Wallah", when what they mean is "voila".

Or viola instead of voila.

A woman once described something to me as 'scarifying', presumably a mix of scary and terrifying. Although I can kind of forgive her since English wasn't her first language.

high horse · 08-09-2010 2:11am

I got a sub in subway once and asked for jalapenos on my roll. I pronounced it correctly but the woman serving me corrected me on how to say it by deliberately saying it back to me with a "j" sound instead of a "h" sound. It was tough not to laugh in her face but i will never do that to someone who is making my food (at least until they hand it over!

)

raveni · 08-09-2010 2:44am

Hambag instead of handbag
Axe instead of ask

Wolf Club · 08-09-2010 12:00pm

A typical one down the west is 'hang sangwidge' for ham sandwich.

Dr. Feelgood · 08-09-2010 12:13pm

everyone makes McSteaks.

belongtojazz · 08-09-2010 12:17pm

I hate when people use the word "brought" instead of "bought" this was really common where I lived in the UK, used to make me cringe

Feeona · 08-09-2010 12:18pm

I think politicians, and sports stars (especially GAA sportsmen, right after an exciting game) are the worst offenders. They know what the sentence is, but it comes out arseways.
I always remember Bertie Ahern saying that he 'wouldn't like to upset the apple tart'.

kfallon · 08-09-2010 12:23pm

The worst one I ever saw was some tit on a Horse Racing forum analysing a race, making a selection and then said that another horse might be "the spanner in the ointment!"

He was some tool himself!

Devil08 · 08-09-2010 12:31pm

Play it by 'year' - its actually play it by 'ear'

I doubt a lot of people know this..

Devil08 · 08-09-2010 2:17pm

Also 'Samwidges' instead of 'Sandwiches'

kagni · 08-09-2010 4:02pm

One that really annoys me is when someone says "top draw" instead of "top drawer".

silverspoon · 08-09-2010 4:58pm

These are typed ones I've seen...

"Here, here", when what they mean is "hear, hear".

"Wallah", when what they mean is "voila".

Another one of those is 'chow' instead of ciao...

Also, the word 'undoubtably' instead of 'undoubtedly'. Though in fairness, 'undoubtably' doesn't sound particularly wrong, except for the pretty glaring fact that it is.

People need to be escorted forcibly from the word 'penultimate' also. "That was, like, the penultimate sandwich!" Oh? Is it? When's the final one coming then?

My cousin thinks that he's 'not the sharpest pencil in the toolbox'.

He's not wrong.

Mad replacement words

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