Women's Health Issues: LadyGardening for Dummies

Penny Tration

MrWalsh wrote: »

I dont do them either, Im allergic to latex.

Before I realised I was allergic to latex I thought it was normal to have a stinging burning sensation during and after sex. I actually discovered it wasnt normal one time when a condom came off and neither of us noticed except that for me it was the most amazing sex ever!

There are latex-free ones now thankfully, for anyone allergic.

MrWalsh

kylith wrote: »

You can get latex-free condoms.

You can now alright, but back then in the dark ages they didnt exist - or at least I was not aware of them.

When I did become aware of them I tried them and they resembled using a crisp bag for contraception - one would hope they have improved since then - I havent had to worry about such matters for a long time now.

Im also allergic to silicone so would have to be careful of any non latex solution anyway.

No moon cups for me either.

Penny Tration

MrWalsh wrote: »

You can now alright, but back then in the dark ages they didnt exist - or at least I was not aware of them.

When I did become aware of them I tried them and they resembled using a crisp bag for contraception - one would hope they have improved since then - I havent had to worry about such matters for a long time now.

Im also allergic to silicone so would have to be careful of any non latex solution anyway.

No moon cups for me either.

They've definitely improved since then, if they felt like a crisp bag :pac:

MrWalsh

Jenny Thalia wrote: »

They've definitely improved since then, if they felt like a crisp bag :pac:

lol - didnt do much for the mood I can tell you!

Gongoozler

Yeah I have a similar reaction to latex condoms though it's not an allergy.

Just meant that you don't have to 'not do' condoms because of that.

Diamond Doll

Gongoozler wrote: »

What do you mean you don't do condoms?

No allergies to latex or whatever. Just I find sex with condoms crap. I am not at all irresponsible, I wouldn't have sex with someone I don't trust. I've always been a long-term relationship kind of girl, sex without condoms wouldn't happen until I trust someone is sexually healthy and disease free. But to be honest, I'd rather no sex than sex with condoms! It just doesn't do it for me. At all.

MrWalsh

This little piggy wrote: »

I've always been a long-term relationship kind of girl, sex without condoms wouldn't happen until I trust someone is sexually healthy and disease free.

But how could you possibly be assured of that on "trust"?

Surely the only truly safe method would be to have someone do a medical sexual health check?

People can tell you they are clean as much as they like but if they have had any previous sexual encounter at all (unless it was only with virgins) then there is a risk.

Diamond Doll

MrWalsh wrote: »

But how could you possibly be assured of that on "trust"?

Surely the only truly safe method would be to have someone do a medical sexual health check?

People can tell you they are clean as much as they like but if they have had any previous sexual encounter at all (unless it was only with virgins) then there is a risk.

I absolutely get where you're coming from, and agree to some point.

As I said, I've only really been with long-term partners, where I've known of their sexual history. In detail. With every partner. And whether condoms were used in each case.

And no, while I get your point about getting a check done, to be honest I'm not going to do that in every relationship I ever get into in the future. I never have in the past. I've relied on trust and my knowledge of the person and their prior relationships. If you don't have trust in a relationship, you haven't much there.

I've never gone wrong so far. Having recently been pregnant, I've been screened for most things, so I know I'm clean right now! I'm absolutely in favour of the theoretical idea of getting a medical screening in advance of starting a relationship, but really, how many people actually do that!

I trust my judgement about what people are telling me about their past. If I got any notion about secrecy or dishonesty about their pasts, I'd run a mile! But I've a good radar.

Tigger99

Oh god that's pretty scary tbh. I get a full screening and expect my partner to too before we go condomless.

There is absolutely a chance that someone could not use a condom with some body once or twice and forget or not tell you. And they coukd have an sti and not know. Also just because you were screened clear, doesn't mean the method is sound.

Just for anyone impressionable reading the above, don't assume nice or trustworthy means sti free.

Penny Tration

You say you've only been with long term partners, but you don't use condoms.

So presumably you're having unprotected sex with them BEFORE it's long term, meaning the long term aspect is kinda irrelevant here.

It's great that you've been with men you can trust, but if they've not been tested, they could have very very easily had an STI without knowing it, since a lot of the very nasty ones have little or no symptoms.

It's great that it's worked out safely for you, but you're playing a very risky game.

I don't use condoms with my long term partner, but we had the chat before agreeing not to use them, and we both got STI tested, at my request. Any person worth their salt will understand that it's a safe, healthy thing to do.

Diamond Doll

Well obviously I use condoms until I get to know and trust the person ... I assumed that was a given!

MrWalsh

This little piggy wrote: »

Well obviously I use condoms until I get to know and trust the person ... I assumed that was a given!

Well no, you said you "don't do condoms" so that was the given.

But again, you seem to be basing the trust if when not to use condoms on conversations! That's really extremely risky behaviour.

I also asked for a medical health check and had one myself before going condom free in previous relationships.

If it's a long term relationship that you are already using condoms in then what's the problem asking them to get checked out?

Diamond Doll

Sorry. I meant I don't enjoy sex with condoms. The feeling with rubber does nothing for me! That's kinda what I meant when I said I don't "do" condoms.

But yeah, in a long term relationship, once we got past the initial stage, I'd probably be willing to take their word for it about their sexual past. If I'd any doubts I'd insist on a test, but I probably wouldn't otherwise, if I knew them well and trusted them.

I'd have no problem with a partner asking me to take a test before having sex without condoms. In fact maybe I'll insist on it with my next partner before having sex, just to be absolutely sure!

I'm pretty sure all will still be OK though since last time I was checked. But I don't entirely trust that my ex never cheated on me, so may be no harm to get checked, just in case!

Tasden

This little piggy wrote: »

But yeah, in a long term relationship, once we got past the initial stage, I'd probably be willing to take their word for it about their sexual past. If I'd any doubts I'd insist on a test, but I probably wouldn't otherwise, if I knew them well and trusted them.

Thing is though, you need to think of it as not only trusting your current partner, but also trusting every one of their previous sexual partners, and the previous sexual partners of those people too. Its all well and good being trustworthy and having a loving trusting relationship with someone but if that person at some stage felt the same way towards someone who was lets say cheating on them then they have absolutely no idea they may have an sti, while still being 100% honest to you about their sexual history (as they know it). I hope I'm making sense!

Basically, you may be able to trust him with your life but can you really trust every single sexual partner he's ever had and all their sexual partners too? Cause that's basically what you're doing if you're not testing first.

kylith

One thing that's shocked me is the number of men who don't want to use condoms at all, even for a ONS. I'd never have sex with someone I wasn't in a LTR with without one. I even had one guy say 'I hate condoms' and when I replied that I hate pregnancy (because I didn't want to sound like I was accusing him of having STDs) he said 'Oh yeah' like he'd only just realised why someone would use a condom. I've had a few partners over the last year and only one has produced a condom without being reminded, and he wasn't Irish. Anyone complaining or arguing about using one was sent packing.

shalalala

kylith wrote: »

One thing that's shocked me is the number of men who don't want to use condoms at all, even for a ONS. I'd never have sex with someone I wasn't in a LTR with without one. I even had one guy say 'I hate condoms' and when I replied that I hate pregnancy (because I didn't want to sound like I was accusing him of having STDs) he said 'Oh yeah' like he'd only just realised why someone would use a condom. I've had a few partners over the last year and only one has produced a condom without being reminded, and he wasn't Irish. Anyone complaining or arguing about using one was sent packing.

I had one guy that only had one with him. When he wanted to go again and suggested using none i literally walked him to the front door and let him out. I cannot understand that b.s..

Dial Hard

kylith wrote: »

One thing that's shocked me is the number of men who don't want to use condoms at all, even for a ONS... I've had a few partners over the last year and only one has produced a condom without being reminded.

It is shocking, and not a little scary how cavalier some men are about the whole thing. I was off the market for a long time (married) but when I got back onto the scene it was the exact same scenario as you - not a single mention of a condom until I brought it up. And even then it was often accepted very grudgingly. Once I even got "I thought you said you were on the Pill." I was, but even taking the STI issue out of the equation, it's a very idiotic man who'd take what's essentially a stranger's word for that.

When I started online dating I was really struck by the amount of single dads on it, but tbh, the above conversation made it very obvious why there are so many of them.

zeffabelli

I was shocked to hear an intelligent man say he assumes the woman is on the pill and it's up to her to insist on a condom if she isn't.

Given the failure rates of birth control, pill is 99% when taken correctly, but with non compliance (meaning forgetting or other medications interfering without compensating for that) the success rate is about 80%.

This is serious self blind spotting in the part of the man, and relegating all reproductive responsibility to the woman.

I would drill these stats into any male children I had when it came time for sex ed.

amdublin

DIY at home bidet.....or in other words water instead of toilet paper


Does anyone do this??? Any advice on how best to do it/what works for you.


I suffer a lot from bartolin cysts (eugh) and my doctor has suggested spraying with water after going to the toilet and avoiding toilet paper altogether, or just patting with tp.


Any advice on how to do this? Anyone out there do this instead of tp, or do it in conjunction with tp??


(I believe the theory is that you are not rubbing bacteria around/in with the tp [although urine is initially sterile] and that avoiding roughness of tp prevents aggravation down below)


Please help! I'd especially like to hear from someone who does this and has a process down pat But all suggestions welcome

MrWalsh

I haven't had to do this but if I did, I'd buy a shower attachment and stand in the bath (next to the loo) and basically hose myself down. It's messier than a bidet for sure but it'd mean no sponge or cloth gathering bacteria and you'd dry your lower body in a flash if it was only water aimed at the specific area.

If you actually have a shower next to the loo it'd easier again so long as the hose attachment was long enough.

Another alternative might be to keep a jug of water by the loo and while seated on the loo pour water down into your genital area after you use the loo.

Best of luck with it, not pleasant having cysts anywhere but that's a nasty place alright.

amdublin

Very helpful MrWalsh, thank you


Anyone else out there actually do this as their daily regime?

inocybe

amdublin wrote: »

Very helpful MrWalsh, thank you


Anyone else out there actually do this as their daily regime?

The whole of the Middle East

amdublin

inocybe wrote: »

The whole of the Middle East

Yep that's true And they have the paraphernalia for doing it


I'm wondering is there anyone there in Ireland or not the Middle East who are doing a diy/home version of the Middle Eastern regime!

liquoriceall

I think most women do it after having babies?? I know my sister certainly did! She used a empty bottle with a "sports cap" on it and used to fill it with warm water for comfort!

Diamond Doll

liquoriceall wrote: »

I think most women do it after having babies?? I know my sister certainly did! She used a empty bottle with a "sports cap" on it and used to fill it with warm water for comfort!

Yup that's exactly what they suggest in Holles St after an episiotomy! Just use a sports bottle and squirt it down there. Seems the easiest way to do it. I don't think it would feel properly "clean" just pouring water over, you need some bit of pressure I think. Alternative would be using the shower hose, but that would be messy and time consuming if you do it every time.

I wonder if baby wipes would be any better than toilet paper, alternatively? I find Simple wipes and the Aldi own brand (Mamia) to be "wetter" than most brands.

I think whichever option you go for, you'd have to pat dry with toilet paper (or maybe a facecloth?) afterwards, to reduce risk of infection.

inocybe

Has anyone with bad side-effects on Cerazette switched to the Mirena and felt better? I'm worried because it's still progesterone only that I'll still be feeling this low and be stuck with it... I would prefer to be sterilized but my GP is really pushing IUDs instead.

shalalala

inocybe wrote: »

Has anyone with bad side-effects on Cerazette switched to the Mirena and felt better? I'm worried because it's still progesterone only that I'll still be feeling this low and be stuck with it... I would prefer to be sterilized but my GP is really pushing IUDs instead.

The jaydess is single hormone. I believe the mirena is two.

inocybe

shalalala wrote: »

The jaydess is single hormone. I believe the mirena is two.

No both of those are progesterone only, levonorgesterel, whereas Cerazette is desogestrel. I don't want to get mirena put in and then discover that it depresses me as much as Cerazette has. I don't think I've ever felt this low

spurious

It's really very simple to remove the Mirena should you need to.

Bananaleaf

Hi ladies

I'm wondering if anyone can give me a review of implanon NXT? A boards search only showed a thread from 2011.

Do you have it?
How do you find it?
Many side effects?
Did you gain weight?

Am on the pill at the moment and have been discussing more permanent contraceptive methods with my doc for a while. Was steering towards the Mirena coil for a while but a few things changed my mind and after our most recent discussion (today) I opted for Implanon NXT.

I have the prescription and am booked in to have the bar implanted in a few weeks time. I am NOT looking for medical advice here, I have a doctor and I trust her 100% and can go to her with my specific medical questions for advice. I'm just wondering about individual peoples' experiences.

From looking at online reviews - a lot of women report suicidal thoughts, horrendous mood swings, serious weight gain, depression, constant bleeding, acne .... yet they are rating it 10/10 because they are not getting pregnant! Are those side effects more common than not?

Thanks
Bananaleaf