Online Dating

Balfie

Misticles wrote: »

:rolleyes:

yeah.

Larianne

Balfie wrote: »

I dunno what she thinks, but I'm actually annoyed that she sent me a message saying she hopes it goes awful, sent me another one while I was writing thee message on here saying that she liked me, and that she was "Super interested"

thats still no reason to hope someones date goes shiite..

Ah well.. won't be sending her anymore messages.

SHe's being childish but appears to like you.

How come you didn't ask this particular girl out?

Misticles

Balfie wrote: »

yeah.

Its a dating site - I think you're thinking about the process too much!

Balfie

Misticles wrote: »

Its a dating site - I think you're thinking about the process too much!

I'm just talking in general. Not just cause its a dating website. I'm talking about it just not being the way I like to go on, I'd rather be honest with someone in that situation than lead them on..

Nothing to do with the fact of it being a dating website..

Balfie

Larianne wrote: »

SHe's being childish but appears to like you.

How come you didn't ask this particular girl out?

Just wasn't talking to her as much as the girl that I asked out.. I spent a few hours messaging back and forward on Fri, Sat, and Sunday, and everyday since then,

In that time I had like 4 messages back an forward with the other girl..

Otis Driftwood

@Balfie,Ive had women say that to me before - that they hoped a date didnt go well - and it was always ment tongue in cheek and tbh I took it as a compliment which it is.

sharper

Balfie wrote: »

And then sends me another message saying, "I hope it goes awful"

wtf like!

I'd assume she's kidding. She doesn't seem to mind if you go on a date, don't get on and then come back and start talking to her again. It sounds like she's just registering her interest and telling you she hopes to keep talking to you in a jokey way.

When you read what people say in text it can come off very different. You're missing tone, inflection, facial expression, body language etc.

hollypink

Larianne wrote: »

SHe's being childish but appears to like you.

Maybe she's trying to be flirtatious by saying she hopes the date goes badly? But to be honest, sending messages like that and saying she's "super interested" in someone she hasnt met yet would make me wary. But maybe I'm just too reserved!

Balfie

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

@Balfie,Ive had women say that to me before - that they hoped a date didnt go well - and it was always ment tongue in cheek and tbh I took it as a compliment which it is.

Maybe so..

I like the girl, so maybe thats why I took it different than you would or anyone else, I dunno...

Otis Driftwood

Balfie wrote: »

Maybe so..

I like the girl, so maybe thats why I took it different than you would or anyone else, I dunno...

I honestly think you are reading too much into it man.

My 2c anyway.

Balfie

Otis Driftwood wrote: »

I honestly think you are reading too much into it man.

My 2c anyway.

Maybe I am, sure, she's american anyways, and only over here for awhile, so its not as if I'm gonna be missing out on anything..

stupidusername

it can be hard to tell over text, unless you know someone well, you won't really get the tone everything is meant in. but since she didn't make it clear she was joking, i would've jumped to the same conclusion as you balfie. though, maybe worth clearing it up? maybe not.

eilo1

C.D. wrote: »

I'm 24 guy and messaging a 19 year old girl who is lovely. Can't help but feeling a little predatory about it though!

I dont think 5 years is an issue, Im chatting to guys who are in their early thirties and guys in their early twenties!

I guess forty or 15 years is just my cut off. Maybe its just ego though!:pac:

Snowie

Balfie wrote: »

Maybe so..

I like the girl, so maybe thats why I took it different than you would or anyone else, I dunno...

Look ottis is bang on the nail....

if your start reading into things a little more then they are youle get hurt..
a date is a date

people in reality to On line are intirely different berry your want to be with some one or she'll smell it a mile it will put her of you relax take it easy and just live for the moment stop thinking about it to... its bad for you

2 Miles From Narnia

Balfie wrote: »

Anyways, being a gentleman that I am, I told her that I have a date with someone on Friday, and I don't want to lead her on, and not tell her cause that's not how I roll, I'd rather not lead someone on

tbh, I'd rather not know about my competition! In the world of online dating, there's the assumption that whoever you're chatting to is also chatting to others, but I was always happy to leave it as an unspoken assumption.

sharper

I much prefer to know. I can think of two instances where I was talking to women, they suddenly became very quiet and reported they were busy/tired. After a week or so they back talking about dates that had gone badly.

If they'd said "I have a date coming up!" I'd be fine with it, simply going quiet or worse offering up an excuse is much worse.

Balfie

Yeah, you are all right.. Ii over reacted, like a gobshiite, typical of me..

Ah well..

Thanks for the advice anyways guys.. I asked her about it and she said that it was ment in a sarcastic way, but I didn't get that from the way she said it..

Don't worry, I put on my dunce cap!

wobblyknees

Balfie wrote: »

Yeah, you are all right.. Ii over reacted, like a gobshiite, typical of me..

Ah well..

Thanks for the advice anyways guys.. I asked her about it and she said that it was ment in a sarcastic way, but I didn't get that from the way she said it..

Don't worry, I put on my dunce cap!

Well done for admitting to an honest mistake, as was mentioned before, sometimes the message can be lost through email/texts. Hopefully she respects you more for it now as well.

timmy880

Sounds to me like a good thing that a girl wanted your other date to go badly and I wouldnt have read into it at all... Dont think it was meant to be nasty but you know her better than we do!

oxygen

missbelle wrote: »

No I wouldn't say 1hr is anything too crazy, especially with the motorway you can still meet up in the evening if you're not working late, and can meet the weekends too. Ideally, of course we'd like them to live in the next town, but then I guess I would have crossed paths with him already

good luck on the date anyway...keep us posted! :P

Went on the date anyway last night. Went ok I thought. I don’t mean to be shallow, but she wasn’t quite as good looking as the pictures. It’s hard to tell with internet camera pictures. She was still cute enough though. Generally nice conversation, decent company.

The only thing is tho, she didnt buy a drink all night. I know some girls are like this but it puts you off meeting them again, the date is twice as expensive that way. Am I being way to tight?

stargazer 68

oxygen_temp wrote: »

The only thing is tho, she didnt buy a drink all night. I know some girls are like this but it puts you off meeting them again, the date is twice as expensive that way. Am I being way to tight?

Personally no you aren't. I have no problem buying drinks on a date. Usually he buys the first two and assuming there is a third then I go to the bar.

manafana

oxygen_temp wrote: »

Went on the date anyway last night. Went ok I thought. I don’t mean to be shallow, but she wasn’t quite as good looking as the pictures. It’s hard to tell with internet camera pictures. She was still cute enough though. Generally nice conversation, decent company.

The only thing is tho, she didnt buy a drink all night. I know some girls are like this but it puts you off meeting them again, the date is twice as expensive that way. Am I being way to tight?

i know the situation your in, had this on most of the few dates went on, one them i bought all 3 drinks often cause i just suggested we should have another. both times on 2nd date it was spilt more 60:40 as i went pay and she offered pay half and id take something off her.

Give it a 2nd date if your still paying for everything thats your sign.

hollypink

oxygen_temp wrote: »

The only thing is tho, she didnt buy a drink all night. I know some girls are like this but it puts you off meeting them again, the date is twice as expensive that way. Am I being way to tight?

Did she not even offer to pay? I dont think you are being tight at all.

oxygen

nah, she didnt make the slightest bit of an offer to pay. And she drank slow, I think specifically she drank slow so that I would finish off my pint and offer to get her one when I’m at the bar. And if I had of drank slow to match, we would both end up nursing one pint for the whole night.

I know what you’re saying manafana, but the first date kind of sets the precedent for me. It’s a shame too, cause she is over in Ireland travelling for 6 weeks, and said she would like to visit the west. I indicated that I really like the west (I do) and wouldn’t mind driving her over while she is here. She seemed to think this would be a really good idea, she said she didn’t get an axe murderer vibe from me. To be fair I actually wouldn’t mind bringing her to see the west, I think it would be a nice little break for me. I’m still considering it, but I’m pretty sure the entire cost of the trip would be down to me.

stargazer 68

oxygen_temp wrote: »

To be fair I actually wouldn’t mind bringing her to see the west, I think it would be a nice little break for me. I’m still considering it, but I’m pretty sure the entire cost of the trip would be down to me.

Its that Oirish hospitality!!

Otis Driftwood

I have no problem paying for the drinks on date number one.It usually doesnt go past 3 or 4 anyway plus I drink ridiculously fast anyway.If date number two happens then Id expect her to buy at least a round or two or if we were going for dinner,cinema etc to split the cost ie she would pay in and Id buy the nibbles or vice versa.Nearly every date Ive ever been though the girl has been very much insistent on contributing.I wouldnt write her off after one date anyway OT.

AnnyHallsal

It was always 50/50 with me, but oxygen_temp, you say she's travelling around - is she American? Maybe it's usual for the guy to pay where she's from?

Also some people are genuinely clueless or not bothered enough about drinking to go to the bar - it's not necessarily stinginess. If I liked them otherwise I'd definitely give them the benefit of the doubt.

oxygen

AnnyHallsal wrote: »

It was always 50/50 with me, but oxygen_temp, you say she's travelling around - is she American? Maybe it's usual for the guy to pay where she's from?

Also some people are genuinely clueless or not bothered enough about drinking to go to the bar - it's not necessarily stinginess. If I liked them otherwise I'd definitely give them the benefit of the doubt.

Yea, she is American. That could be it, there generally clueless enough when it comes to bar ediquate. All though how clueless do you need to be to not put your hand in your pocket all night. I suppose I should really see what the second date is like, but she will be on her last chance there :P

stargazer 68

oxygen_temp wrote: »

Yea, she is American. That could be it, there generally clueless enough when it comes to bar ediquate. All though how clueless do you need to be to not put your hand in your pocket all night. I suppose I should really see what the second date is like, but she will be on her last chance there :P

Americans are notoriously tight fisted once they leave the good ol USA. Go for it - she could be a secret millionaire!

Hyperbullet

Dovies wrote: »

Americans are notoriously tight fisted once they leave the good ol USA. Go for it - she could be a secret millionaire!

Has no one watched "The Field"? Never trust an American, they're only after the land. :pac: