Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Wanker Dies Getting Herself Off

Options
1246

Comments

  • Options
    #92
    phill106
    Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    Imagine rigor had set in? Would be very awkward at the wake/burial..


  • Options
    #93
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Anyone know what poro it was, must have been on hell of a movie..

    She probably realised it was her father in the movie... led to death etc. etc.


  • Options
    #94
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,130 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    phill106 wrote: »
    Imagine rigor had set in? Would be very awkward at the wake/burial..

    Rigor what?


  • Options
    #95
    Klingon Hamlet
    Registered Users Posts: 2,732 ✭✭✭Klingon Hamlet


    Talk about "finishing herself off".

    Hah! Haha!

    Cue rolling tumbleweed.


  • Options
    #96
    Ali Babba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 874 ✭✭✭Ali Babba


    It took the undertaker four hours to get the smile off her face........


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #97
    force majeure
    Registered Users Posts: 387 ✭✭force majeure


    Why all the jokes lads... its not that funny having her face all over the media after that. To finish, by the photo she looked fit and healthy enough and that led me to think she may have used some substance [drugs legal or otherwise] that hastened the heart failure.


  • Options
    #98
    Fart
    Registered Users Posts: 1,825 ✭✭✭Fart


    I read that the cat was sh!tting on her chest. :eek:


  • Options
    #99
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    force majeure wrote: »
    Why all the jokes lads... its not that funny having her face all over the media after that. To finish, by the photo she looked fit and healthy enough and that led me to think she may have used some substance [drugs legal or otherwise] that hastened the heart failure.

    So it's not ok to joke about it, but it is ok to post speculative nonsense.


  • Options
    #100
    kc66
    Registered Users Posts: 2,267 ✭✭✭kc66


    Ankerous wrote: »
    Ms Paginton's employer found her lying under her duvet with a laptop on her chest. Lifting the duvet, she found the nanny was naked from the waist down

    Does nobody find it strange that after finding her dead, her employer looks under the duvet?


  • Options
    #101
    phill106
    Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    kc66 wrote: »
    Does nobody find it strange that after finding her dead, her employer looks under the duvet?

    Well he probably wondered what the huge boner sticking out from under the sheet was, her being a woman and all!


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #102
    phill106
    Registered Users Posts: 6,810 ✭✭✭phill106


    Pherekydes wrote: »
    Rigor what?

    Rigor mortis


  • Options
    #103
    Klingon Hamlet
    Registered Users Posts: 2,732 ✭✭✭Klingon Hamlet


    kc66 wrote: »
    Does nobody find it strange that after finding her dead, her employer looks under the duvet?

    Well the vibrator must've still been buzzing...


  • Options
    #104
    Klingon Hamlet
    Registered Users Posts: 2,732 ✭✭✭Klingon Hamlet


    phill106 wrote: »
    Frig-or mortis

    FYP


  • Options
    #105
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users Posts: 16,130 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    phill106 wrote: »
    Rigor mortis

    You realise rigor mortis will set in long before the wake or funeral? It reaches maximum stiffness about 12 hours post mortem.


  • Options
    #106
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    did anyone else misread this as granny instead of nanny? :o


  • Options
    #107
    InTheTrees
    Registered Users Posts: 9,900 ✭✭✭InTheTrees


    Coming and going at the same time...

    There's worse ways to go.

    :eek:


  • Options
    #108
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Pittens wrote: »
    story has me a bit worried, truth be told.
    Too fukken right... :(


  • Options
    #109
    Daisy Steiner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Daisy Steiner


    Fittle wrote: »
    +1
    It's called masturbation.
    steve06 wrote: »
    Flicking the bean....

    Feeding the goat?


  • Options
    #110
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Double-clicking the mouse is the best euphemism ever for it. Thanks Abi! :)


  • Options
    #111
    meathstevie
    Registered Users Posts: 4,772 ✭✭✭meathstevie


    Died in a state of excitement,...fecken beats keeling over from boredom in a state of grace:p


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #112
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    Also if i ever die having a **** i hope they honour my memory by not having the story published in the world media.
    Actually, if I die having a shuffle, they can publish it anywhere they like. They can put it on my headstone if they want.

    There are worse ways to go, and there are a hell of a lot of more shameful ways to go.

    The real shame is that the woman died so young, not how she died.

    And yes, it would have been more considerate to her family if it hadn't been published at all, but it wasn't Boards who published it, and given the location of her death and where she haled from, comments here are unlikely to cause them any further upset (if they're actually upset by the story, rather than the fact that she's dead.)
    Pherekydes wrote: »
    The OP describes the nanny as a wanker. Is anyone NOT a wanker?
    /starts to raise hand

    Oh wait, you said "not" ... >_>


  • Options
    #113
    RolandIRL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,924 ✭✭✭✭RolandIRL


    funny you should post here randy. maybe you got her randy as well and she died cos of it :P:P


  • Options
    #114
    NoHornJan
    Registered Users Posts: 553 ✭✭✭NoHornJan


    t4k30 wrote: »
    I'd rather die from sexual over stimulation than cancer. Ps. I don't think the female form of masterbation is known as ****.
    7th Heaven. If I had a choice, that's the way...


  • Options
    #115
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    I'd have a heart attack too if I was masturbating in bed watching a movie ..

    Closed my eyes to cum, and when I opened them there was a cat sitting on my chest.


  • Options
    #116
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Pittens wrote: »
    story has me a bit worried, truth be told.
    Dudess wrote: »
    Too fukken right... :(

    The risk of blindness clearly never stopped ya, so why would this.


  • Options
    #117
    randylonghorn
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 29,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    I'd have a heart attack too if I was masturbating in bed watching a movie ..

    Closed my eyes to cum, and when I opened them there was a cat sitting on my chest.
    I don't know, I think opening my eyes to a pussy in front of my face would probably help the mood ...


  • Options
    #118
    DJCR
    Registered Users Posts: 986 ✭✭✭DJCR


    Ok - was slightly disturbed when I Read about this on this forum before I realised:

    Nanny = Childminder

    Thought they were talk about a grand mother of some sort in her 30's .... I was like......... how the f*** is that possible???


  • Options
    #119
    soups05
    Registered Users Posts: 1,086 ✭✭✭soups05


    i just wanna know where to buy one of those "toys".








    my wifes birthdays is soon and its gotta be cheaper than divorce :D


  • Options
    #120
    Yakult
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,941 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCeD_6Y3GQc


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #121
    sesna
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭sesna


    Even if she did suffer from a heart attack, she should have head the presence of mind to pull the vibrator out and close the porn. I can't imagine how embarrassing this is for her family/friends now that it has been picked up on by tabloid media.

    She would have had about a minute of consciousness before expiring. She obviously was enjoying herself too much even as she got into difficulty.


Advertisement