Let's try another story - just ONE line per contributor

sudoku987

He stood and stared at the three hundred year old oak tree in the middle of the field, his long black hair blowing in the April breeze and the enormous pink boar beside him munching on the grass.

star.chaser

out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a pair of long johns hanging off a branch, obviously belonging to one of the many tree fairies that reside in the vast trunk of this grand daddy of a tree and wondered if they were part of a multi pack or were it bought separately?

StereoLove

He walked over to the tree and looked for a place to put his foot and hand when he started to climb it.

KittyeeTrix

As he climbed slowly and deliberately he let his mind wander back to the decision which had brought him to this point in his quest and he couldn't help but smile as he ventured one step closer to the truth.

Markom5a

Then he fell

sudoku987

As he tumbled through the branches he grabbed at a pair of long johns which had apparently been left out to dry and the fabric being good Donegal tweed they took his weight and he slid gently to the grassy ground.

KittyeeTrix

Although he was stunned by the fall he jumped to his feet and continued to ascend the tree again, this time determined not to lose focus as he was too aware that the future of his village depended on him and him alone

sNarah

BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scarydoll

Yes I'll build a bomb and blow them non believers to hell, no one thought I'd climb this tree and by God I did it!

SadieSue

He surveyed the landscape and as the wind buffeted his hair he thought.." Pew! Pew pewpew!"

cbyrd

My new laser gun...feck ... he pulled the trigger gently and it fired... who needs bombs i can shoot all the basterds from here..

sudoku987

Examining the long johns which lay on the grass, he realised they were bullet-proof so he quickly pulled them on, picked up his laser gun and thought: "If I can figure a way to locate these invisible enemies I can still save the village".

Scarydoll

Then he had another thought, 'feckit they can save themselves, I'm gona go get a cup of tea and a chocolate hobnob.'

Sarky

Suddenly:

Chartered accountants! THOUSANDS OF THEM.

Deki

Marching, row after row, briefcases held before them as shields, they stretched as far as he could see.

Sarky

And then they went away.

*cough*

SadieSue

Not after issuing a sever audit on your laser gun/bullet proof trouser industry.

Deki

"How", he wondered aloud, "Had such a promising day come to this?"

SadieSue

He realised it was because... he touched himself last night.

Sarky

While making this face:

cbyrd

out of latex and custard...knowing he had stumbled on a new business venture...

sNarah

LIMERICK!

cbyrd

there was a colonel called mustard
who's face was made from custard
he climbed a big tree
long johns at his knees
fell down and his willy got busted ....


:pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

ah boredom

Star Lord

Teary eyed, he took his busted willy in hand and thought of the good times they'd shared together, like that picnic in the minefields.

cbyrd

where he discovered the female wharthefúckarewe tribe who helped him to navigate the minefield while carrying his picnic basket and his willy for him

candy-gal1

while the walked through the jeepers creepers field, watching out for the flying scarecrow

Star Lord

The flying scarecrow was a close friend, so he didn't want to miss him flying past, and as he watched, he remembered that time that they had gotten drunk and nekkid together, remembered it fondly.

cbyrd

then he tripped and fell into a rabbit hole and woke up naked in a room full of

Star Lord

bananas in pyjamas who were coming down the stairs.

cbyrd

with didgeridoo's strapped to their backs and

Star Lord

their heads loosely duct-taped to their bodies, but they were in no danger of falling off, for duct-tape is powerful stuff, even when loosely applied.

cbyrd

as per the instructions on the pack, he was wondering why they were talking about

Star Lord

adopting an orangutang and naming it Sir Theobald Gregory McDickerson III, the duke of milk that you're not quite sure if it's gone off or not, so you give it a sniff, but still aren't sure.

cbyrd

and whether to hold a christening and invite the local masher society after the conflict of 1999 where the banana's completely lost their heads

Star Lord

and their virginity, but that was a story for another day. In the meantime, he had to figure out a way to solve his rubix cube without anyone noticing...

cbyrd

him taking the pieces out and putting them back in order. then he saw some dirty white socks with

Star Lord

his eyes.

cbyrd

that had developed new super powers so he could

CosmicCrusader

Use his new found X-ray vision to solve the rubix cube without taking it from his pocket, then unleashing the radioactive material that hid within the colourful cube.

geoffraffe

His mother has told him not to hide the radioactive material there, so he gagged her with old belts, that belonged to the badger next door and did it anyway.

2manyconditions

Suddenly, something grabbed him from behind and...

sNarah

Oh no!!!
Not the pineapples again!!!!!!!! RRUUUUNNNNN

CosmicCrusader

he screamed loudly, but he was too late, the pineapple had already been forced into his rectum by leather wearing drag queen.

Deki

Who was quite happily flashing smiles at everyone and texting non stop to a friend.

TimberMerchant

then suddenly He/She was grabbed from behind and she dropped her telly bingo cards..

Deki

...straight down the sewer grate and that was just the very last straw!

sNarah

Sorry Deki actually meant: That was the last strawberry.

star.chaser

but luckily stephen hawkins just happened to be close by training for the paralympics and used one of the spokes from a wheel to fish the ticket back out of the drain

sNarah

You forgot to include the strawberry :eek:

cbyrd

but luckily stephen hawkins just happened to be close by training for the paralympics and used one of the spokes from a wheel to fish the ticket back out of the drain

and stuck to it was a squashed strawberry, he fell to his knees shaking a fist at the heaven's......"why....why the last strawberry..........????" "noooooo"

CosmicCrusader

But suddenly Stephen had an idea, rememeberin what he had read as a teenager; that the strawberry existed in a superposition, a state in which the strawberry is both squashed and not squashed; he then uses Einstein's theory of general relativity to travel back in time to another universe where the strawberry is not squashed!