The Breast Feeding Support Thread

How Strange

10 weeks is my magic number. The baby's system matures so wind problems etc reduce, your milk supply is established and the baby usually settles into a feeding pattern by themselves.

Have you tried breast compressions when feeding? It can help make feeding more efficient. Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating oats during the day? Fenugreek and fennel are also natural ways to increase supply so perhaps drink fennel tea during the day.

Also my son fed every two hours during the day until 5 months (seriously!) but at 10 weeks he sleeping from 7.30-11/12 then he'd wake at approx 2.30/4.30/6.30.

I think the biggest part of making exclusive breastfeeding a success is having faith in your body's ability to provide milk for your baby. You're biologically designed to do just that.
Some women don't have an oversupply but it's rare that you wouldn't have enough milk to feed your little one.

However that's a decision you have to make for yourself. Perhaps you want to give a bottle of formula at night or whatever and no one can say that's wrong. You have to decide what's best for you.

annamcmahon

It's possible that your letdown has slowed now that you've passed the 6 week mark. I know I had a very fast letdown at the beginning so milk was flowing when my daughter latched on. When it slowed and she actually had to suck for a minute before getting milk she was not impressed and used to smack my boob like you're describing.

I'd second what How Strange is suggesting.

Of course it's also possible that it's just a habit he's picked up. My eldest used to pull on my top, usually pulling them back over my boob and then complaining they were in her way. My second baba seems to want to flail her arm about.

Smilerterry

theg81der wrote: »

is it time to start top ups? breastfeeding for 8 weeks and he seems frustrated keeps thumping my boob etc. i thought supply and demand if i wait i`ll start having enough but its not happening ater a week. should i start giving him a top up feed? he feeds every 2 hours, including nights, till i have no more.

I could have written this! I am at 8 weeks. For the last 4 days I've felt empty and he is sucking much harder. He's never had the best latch, he clicks sll the time. Had LC, PHN advise. Clipped for tongue tie, seeing osteopath and still clicky! So this makes me worry extra. I am doing compressions and taking some fenugreek, but am unsure how much I should be taking.

Is it right to never feel full again? He was on my boob most of yesterday as he has a cold and I think it was comforting.

How Strange

Smilerterry I'm trying to think back (it's funny how quickly you forget these things!) and u think I started to feel less full at a certain point especially during the day. I'd only really notice it if my son slept for longer at night (rarely happened) but then I'd wake with two huge melons. Once or twice I left him with my mam or his other granny and I got delayed and my god they were like heat seeking missiles. They took on a life of their own until I got back to feed him.

Apart from that the very very full feeling pretty much stopped. I know my son used to wallop my boobs or grind them between his hands during feeding.

I followed the tip of look to the baby for signs that they're getting enough. Is he/she generally content? Is there plenty of wet nappies? Is the fontenelle ok? If yes to these questions then everything is going fine.

littlemissfixit

I havent felt full again from when he was about 4 weeks. I have always found it hard to trust they were getting enough when there is no mesure but I just went with the weight gains and how they looked generally.
It would be quite unusual that your supply wouldnt be adequate unless the baby falls asleep a lot while feeding.
Get the baby weigh more often if it reassures you. Theres no harms in top ups but Its giving yourself a lot of work with the bottles, and if he doesnt need anymore, what he will get in formula he wont get in bmilk thus affecting your supply...

red fraggle

theg81der wrote: »

is it time to start top ups? breastfeeding for 8 weeks and he seems frustrated keeps thumping my boob etc. i thought supply and demand if i wait i`ll start having enough but its not happening ater a week. should i start giving him a top up feed? he feeds every 2 hours, including nights, till i have no more.

i agree with the other posts that you should have enough supply and the more he feeds the more your supply will establish. E fed every 2 hours for months! but then the nights dragged out a bit and she slowly stretched out. but i know how you feel, its so hard to know if they are getting enough as you have no measurements but as time goes on you do get more confident!!

the full feeling def disappeared but when i would miss a feed or she slept an hour longer they would be huge and painful!! some times i had to get up to express as the pain was so bad!! but then it all settled once the new routine established. our bodies are amazing!

Now at 9 months old our breastfeeding is over. E decided this herself and i knew it was coming so it ended happily. and im happy my body is my own again. though im missing it a bit already. i still cuddle her in bed in the morning while giving her her bottle (well she holds it! little miss independent now!!:rolleyes:) finished a week now and no lumps or bumps or anything as i did it slowly

cant believe E is 9 months and im now able to give advice.:p i enjoyed every minute of it even though it was DEFINITELY hard at times but it was so worth it. Goodluck to everyone starting out, it gets easier and you become more confident.;)

lynski

well done you red.
the full feeling does go and you will get to a time when you are just supply and demand. I thought i was there when I went away for a few days last dec, my son was 9mths and i thought i would be fine, no need for pump. well I was sure i would explode. my sis had to borrow a pump from her neighbour so I could express, only expressed about 2/3 oz each time and had to dump it ;-( as i was in uk and had nothing to do with it.
All the early things that stress you out - 2hr feeds, sore latch, full boobs, sleeping on you (really miss that), nursing to sleep (finished at 3/4mths), weight gain, just steady out and go.

Squiggler

I hope it is ok to rant here.

Baby L is just under 4 weeks old and is looking for feeds every 1-2 hours - which is time consuming, but managable. We're doing fine but I'm beginning to get annoyed with my husband.

He keeps making comments like "are you sure he needs fed" or "I can take him for a walk instead and give you a break" and the two times we've been out long enough that L was wanting to be fed and I needed to feed him my OH has talked me out of it, leaving L miserable and me with painful leaking boobs until we get home.

I know that he is concerned that I'm not getting enough sleep or time to do other things. But today were actually standing in the lovely feeding room at the Zoo and I suggested feeding L as it had been 2 hours since his last feed. OH argued that we were leaving and only 30 minutes from home, we'd have to wake L up and take him out of his carrier, and it would take longer to feed him than to just go home. We were less than half way home when L started screaming and I had milk leaking clean through my breastpads, bra, tshirt and sweatshirt. I felt like joining in with L!

I really feel like OH is tolerating rather than supporting my bf, and sometimes not even tolerating it. This in spite of the fact that he knew we would be bf and would not want L to be formula fed. Like he loves the idea but not the reality. I guess I am just going to have to be more determined and ignore him if he disagrees.

NextSteps

Squiggler, that's a difficult situation.

Do you have any friends with older babies who could call round, maybe, and casually talk about how much easier breastfeeding is in the end, and how much their partner's support meant to them?

You really do need someone who trusts what you're doing, especially when there are difficult spots along the way, such as growth spurts. And when a baby needs fed, he needs fed! It's a full time job at the start.

Could he be feeling left out?

Squiggler

Thanks NextSteps. I'm not sure, but maybe he is feeling left out. At the moment we are having to alternate with caring for L, so no time for just the two of us, but that's the deal with newborns... I think it is likely that he didn't realise this was how it would be, he's never been around tiny babies before.

Anyway, I'll just have to be more insistent when we're out and L needs fed.

Neyite

Squiggler, any chance he is getting influenced by an older woman who bottlefed? (like his mum?) Reason I ask is that a lot of blokes would normally think the opposite - that every cry means hunger and try to feed the baby rather than check for tiredness/nappy /overstimulation etc. The older generation seem to have this obsession with the 3hrs feed and as quick as you can stretch them out to 4 hrs, and sleeping through the night.

My mum who bottlefed hers felt I was feeding too often as she had 3 hrs between feeds etc. Luckily she knows I know a lot more than her about breastfeeding and once I explained to her the on demand way of feeding, she trusted my judgement. But she did say that you cant overfeed a baby - they spit up what they dont need.

At 4 weeks I was feeding at least every 2 hrs. Its normal.

NextSteps

Neyite wrote: »

Squiggler, any chance he is getting influenced by an older woman who bottlefed? (like his mum?) Reason I ask is that a lot of blokes would normally think the opposite - that every cry means hunger and try to feed the baby rather than check for tiredness/nappy /overstimulation etc.)

that's true. Whenever our baby squeaked my partner was handing him over for a feed. It's an easy get-out!

implausible

Two things spring to mind - what Neyite said and perhaps it's a feeding in public thing. Is he uncomfortable with the idea of you "getting your boobs out" in public?

You need to keep calm, explain to him how breastfeeding works and show him some literature or webpages about it (so it's not just coming from you) and mention too that the older generation often haven't a clue about it (in case it is the mother-in-law).

On the bright side though, he is being very caring and considerate and shouldn't be condemned for that! My other half thinks bf is the best thing ever and can boast to his mates about no night feeds for him. However, he does seem to think that me being knackered is par for the course and nothing whatsoever to do with him:mad::rolleyes:

How Strange

squiggler my first thought also was if someone (maybe his mum) was saying you're feeding too often, you should leave them for a whole when they start looking for a feed, you need your rest and it's wearing you out (you poor thing!).

It really sounds like something a typical Irish granny would say.

Its only 4 weeks do you're still finding your feet as new parents. At this stage the 'novelty' (if that's the right word) has probably worn off, there's not as many visitors and real life as parents with the perpetual tiredness has kicked in.

Give him time but I would tell him straight out that you need his support for breastfeeding to be success for you. As others said there'll be tough periods like evening cluster feeding and growth spurts in the next few weeks and you'll need his full support to get through them. In return he gets to sleep all night

ck83

Squiggler... I found bf to be a battle all the time. people were always saying I was great to do it, but after a (brief) pause, encouraging weaning, top-ups, solids at every available moment. I found it frustrating, but the more I got used to it, the better I was able to deal with it. I found my OH to be very on board with bf at the beginning, but like a few people have said, not always that supportive when faced with the reality. I found that he had the most aggravating habit of listening to his sister, who has two kids (formula fed) and then shoving her opinions down my throat. It was him trying to be helpful, but it was sooooo annoying. She's the only one he knows with small kids really, and he's mad about them, so he thought (and is still inclined to think) that everything she does was exactly right, and why would I possibly think of doing things my way? she was big into the every three hours, and should be sleeping all night by now etc etc etc. He still thinks that supernanny is only trotting after her, but when baby was smaller, I regularly explained to him that her way and my way are different, and we will each do what suits ourselves. I explained regularly that bf was the best start for our son, and I'd done a course with a lactation consultant antenatally, so presenting him with the info was always helpful. I must admit, I also (regularly) mentioned about his "poor nephews awful eczema" while pointing at our baby's lovely clear skin. Petty I know, but it was something that he could really identify as a benefit- in fact, at times that was the most effective thing. at one point, I actually recall him remarking that it was remarkable that his sister hadn't chosen to bf, given all it's wonderful benefits!

Squiggler

Thanks for the support and advice ladies. I tried to have a chat with him about it after the first time, but he doesn't deal well with anything that suggests criticism, even if it is valid.

I'm really lucky to have a very supportive family, my mother, sister and sister-in-law all exclusively breastfed their children. But this isn't something I can discuss with them.

I really wish that it was easier to talk to my husband about this stuff.

wmpdd3

Squiggler wrote: »

Thanks for the support and advice ladies. I tried to have a chat with him about it after the first time, but he doesn't deal well with anything that suggests criticism, even if it is valid.

I'm really lucky to have a very supportive family, my mother, sister and sister-in-law all exclusively breastfed their children. But this isn't something I can discuss with them.

I really wish that it was easier to talk to my husband about this stuff.

Hi ya,

Congrats!!! I remember you from the preg forum!

I think you should tell your family, not to cause war but so they can support you.

What was his family's attitude to feeding? They are in the US right?

Also maybe you've got a short fuse and he thinks taking the baby away will help you.

I rememeber being told to go have a bath every night whan I knew baby was in the middle of tanking but used to try anyway, only for other half to have to bring in baby so I could feed him in the bath!

Once 9 weeks hit I was looking for the baby to need me more as all this had past!

Also I think the HSE should direct all those crap support leaflets on breastfeeding to the partners as they seem to need it more. Partners often think b/feeding is a passive thing the mum will do 4 times a day while sitting on the sofa watching the TV.

cyning

Squiggler my hubby was very apprehensive about me breastfeeding. He was afraid I'd get over tired. He also wasn't keen on me feeding in public. 14 weeks in and now it is a totally different story: he was always supportive, but now he's encouraging me to do the 6 months (I started off aiming for 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months) and "brags" about no night feeds. And about how great I am! But up until about 6 weeks I think he maybe felt a bit left out, and he was more afraid of people upsetting me if I was feeding out and about. Also now he see's that its gotten so much easier it's easier for him not to worry: is it possible it's any of those things? I used pump for feeding out and about: could you do that?

Also in the weeks after C was born we had the biggest fight we EVER had. Over a bottle of water We were both tired and a bit overwhelmed with a new baby and my pregnancy was stressful too! Is it maybe a bit of that too? It's such a massive change

Squiggler

Thanks wmpdd3! Yes, he's from the US. His mum BF, but I don't think he's ever been around a breastfeeding woman before, in the same way he hasn't spent much time with tiny infants. It's a really steep learning curve for him and he seems to think that it should just come naturally... so I guess he is putting himself under a huge amount of pressure.

The leaflets really are crap. "More feeding = more signals = more milk" give us a break! Because the hospital focused on making sure that L fed every three hours (was only there 15 hours after the birth) I think he has that in his head and can't understand that there are times when L will need fed much more often and that sometimes he will want to cluster feed.

Thanks cyning. I'm glad to hear that it got easier for you all and that your hubby is now fully supportive.

I suppose all I can do is insist next time. After all, not feeding L results in hunger and stress for him and pain and discomfort for me. Listening to L crying when he needs fed actually makes me physically sick, something I don't think my hubby understands.

littlemissfixit

My hubby was actually a bit the opposite, whenever the baba would cry a little he would say "you sure he is not hungry?" Even if I'd just fed, he just didn't quite know what to do.

If you can trust your own instinct, that his opinion in the matter dont actually make you doubt yourself, I think I would just say "I'll try feeding him/her, if she/he is not hungry we'll only have wasted a few minutes anyway, and if he/she is really hungry well then thats more important than getting home quicker or anything else". It is probably that he doesnt quite know himself, maybe seeing you very matter of fact and assertive in the matter will make him realise that you actually know better than anyone (without having to tell him you know better than anyone :P)

Neyite

Squiggler, babies that young feed for comfort too, all the sights sounds and smells are a lot to get used to, and mum smells and tastes familiar and it calms them. So maybe suggest that to hubby? The stretches between feeds will happen in a couple of months when baby gets more used to his surroundings, but until then, there is a lot of stuff for baby to get used to.

pushkii

wow there does seem to be a lot of misconceptions about breastfeeding like my little girl is ten weeks and when people find out im breastfeeding her they're like oh.. how long are you gonna keep doing that. also her dad thinks that after 6 moths she'll b on solids and won't need breastfeeding . !!
im just wondering will she keep on feeding every two hrs at night . maybe im feeding her when she starts to wake and she really isn't hungry at all?

liliq

pushkii wrote: »

im just wondering will she keep on feeding every two hrs at night . maybe im feeding her when she starts to wake and she really isn't hungry at all?

Probably not...
I find my son goes through phases... the first few weeks he was nursing every 2 hours, at about 8 weeks he starting not being as hungry for maybe 3 or 4 hours at night, then at four months he was less hungry during the day but woke a bit more often at night again, at 6 months that reversed, at 8 months he started not being too bothered during the day and just had epic nap time and bed time feeds, and snacked during the night and that has kept up until now!
I went to a lactation consultant at 10 weeks because of tongue tie, and she asked me how long I would like to breastfeed for. At that stage I figured I would like to keep going for the foreseeable future, but I could not for the life of me get my head around the fact that he would be less demanding during the day and I wouldn't have to be constantly thinking about the logistics of feeding him if I went out (I wasn't very confident feeding publicly at that stage).
It's hard at the beginning, but at some stage it suddenly switches and all you've do to is have a nappy in your handbag and you're good to go anywhere!
I also find that even if they're not hungry at night, it's the quickest, easiest way to get them back to sleep!

cyning

How do you manage leaving baby? How do you figure out how much you need to have pumped? I need (well want!) a night away with my husband and for that I must figure out how much I need to have pumped.

She feeds about every 2 hours and will be about 4 months old. If I go... I haven't managed to leave her for longer than 2.5 hours yet! Should I pump and give her bottles for a day or something to figure it out?

Hobbitfeet

cyning wrote: »

How do you manage leaving baby? How do you figure out how much you need to have pumped? I need (well want!) a night away with my husband and for that I must figure out how much I need to have pumped.

She feeds about every 2 hours and will be about 4 months old. If I go... I haven't managed to leave her for longer than 2.5 hours yet! Should I pump and give her bottles for a day or something to figure it out?

How old is baby? Are you going to be gone overnight? I left my lo when he was 5 months for about 10 hours and he drank everything i left and more my dp took from the freezer it was a huge amount i couldnt believe it!! I think he was drinking for comfort? but I'm sure he didnt need that much. Here is a link that can help how to figure out. You'll need to pump while your away for some comfort http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/

cyning

Hobbitfeet wrote: »

How old is baby? Are you going to be gone overnight? I left my lo when he was 5 months for about 10 hours and he drank everything i left and more my dp took from the freezer it was a huge amount i couldnt believe it!! I think he was drinking for comfort? but I'm sure he didnt need that much. Here is a link that can help how to figure out. You'll need to pump while your away for some comfort http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/milkcalc/

Ya hoping to go overnight... hoping Although I tried a bottle of expressed milk yesterday and she point blank refused it for me. It's never been an issue before: might just be a pipe dream to get away right now!

IvyTheTerrible

Hi ladies! Breastfeeding is going grand 8 months on! My oh was very supportive, mostly because his brother's wife doesn't breastfeed and he saw how much his brother had to do at night wrt feeding at night! I found the first 4 weeks very difficult due to cracked nipples, I was ready to give up, I said on a Friday, if this doesn't get better by Monday, I'm switching to bottles. Lo and behold, the nipples healed on Saturday!

So after that update, I have a quick question. I have decided to started pumping some milk, to increase my supply a bit (L is down to 3 feeds a day, so I notice my supply dropping off) and to allow me to go out a bit! Anyway, I have the bits of the pump that have to be sterilised. Now I plan to pump in the morning, but the instructions say I should sterilise for 20 mins. Is it possible to sterilise the evening before and keep the parts in a sealed plastic bag, or does the sterilising have to be done right beforehand?

Neyite

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Hi ladies! Breastfeeding is going grand 8 months on! My oh was very supportive, mostly because his brother's wife doesn't breastfeed and he saw how much his brother had to do at night wrt feeding at night! I found the first 4 weeks very difficult due to cracked nipples, I was ready to give up, I said on a Friday, if this doesn't get better by Monday, I'm switching to bottles. Lo and behold, the nipples healed on Saturday!

So after that update, I have a quick question. I have decided to started pumping some milk, to increase my supply a bit (L is down to 3 feeds a day, so I notice my supply dropping off) and to allow me to go out a bit! Anyway, I have the bits of the pump that have to be sterilised. Now I plan to pump in the morning, but the instructions say I should sterilise for 20 mins. Is it possible to sterilise the evening before and keep the parts in a sealed plastic bag, or does the sterilising have to be done right beforehand?

I think if the steriliser is kept closed until you need it, the contents remain sterile for longer - mine says 24hrs I think. I used to put the sterlisier on before bed and open it up and assemble the breast pump first thing in the morning.

ck83

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Hi ladies! Breastfeeding is going grand 8 months on! My oh was very supportive, mostly because his brother's wife doesn't breastfeed and he saw how much his brother had to do at night wrt feeding at night! I found the first 4 weeks very difficult due to cracked nipples, I was ready to give up, I said on a Friday, if this doesn't get better by Monday, I'm switching to bottles. Lo and behold, the nipples healed on Saturday!

So after that update, I have a quick question. I have decided to started pumping some milk, to increase my supply a bit (L is down to 3 feeds a day, so I notice my supply dropping off) and to allow me to go out a bit! Anyway, I have the bits of the pump that have to be sterilised. Now I plan to pump in the morning, but the instructions say I should sterilise for 20 mins. Is it possible to sterilise the evening before and keep the parts in a sealed plastic bag, or does the sterilising have to be done right beforehand?

I know it's not what you asked, but I got a pack of medela steriliser bags. Popped all the bits into the bag with some water, and the whole lot into the microwave for 3 min and bobs your uncle! Each bag was good for 20 uses. Got em in boots I think. €11 ish for a pack of five. I found them way handier than the steriliser when it was just the pump I needed to clean.

How Strange

cyning we went away for our first overnight when my son was just 5 months. I remember I left a lot of milk in the freezer. It was probably around 30oz and I considered 4oz a feed. We went from 5.30pm until midday. I think his granny overfed him and he just kept guzzling it. We came back to a very happy, content little baba who slept fantastically for his granny.

I came back with about 20oz from just missing the early morning feeds! I pumped and dumped the midnight milk as there was no fridge in the hotel room and it was summer.