The Breast Feeding Support Thread

Fagashlil

Not had a negative experience luckily, but cannot believe they told you to feed you had to cover up. I don't blame you being angry, and would take this furthur to prevent it happening again. You seem fairly confident, and clearly sure of the law, imagine if it was some nervous FTM who then never fed in public again. I'd be fuming if it happened to me.

lazygal

I've fed literally everywhere, including during a funeral, and never bothered with a cover. I plan on feeding until he turns two and never had a negative comment. I never had any bother with my first and if I was told to feed my children in a toilet I'd tell the staff member loudly where to.go.

FurBabyMomma

Aww I'm sorry you had such a bad experience madeinamerica. I've not had any negative experiences yet but yesterday my neighbours mother asked if I was 'still feeding' my 7 month old, and was so surprised when I said I was.

I'd definitely get in contact with the centre and put them straight so it doesn't happen another mother. In fact, you may point out they're lucky not to be hearing from your lawyer considering their illegal harassment of a bf mother Might make them more inclined to take note and not continue as they are.

Sligo1

Just sending a hug madeinamerica. I think I would've been mortified. I prob wouldve given out to your one (and then moved and had a cry to myself!). Definitely make a complaint. As another poster said, imagine if that was said to a new mum who perhaps wasn't as confident as you. They'd prob be devastated! And never want to feed in public again.

Breastfeeding is the most natural, wonderful thing in the world. And shame on those who try and make it into something rude, abnormal or something to be ashamed of!

bobskii

this is the very reason I'm so nervous of feeding in public . I've only done it twice , today being one of the times and my baby is 4 months .

spottybananas

My baby is 4 weeks and so far I've fed in front of my own mum, sister- and brothers in law, mother in law, 5 friends, a mum and baby group, in a public square in front of a church, in a hotel and in the car in 3 busy carparks. It was daunting at first but I think because I got used to people being around me in scbu from the very first day I just don't care. He also latches on very quickly which helps.

Twice out of those times Ive used a fabric cover and it makes it much more obvious! Nothing negative has been said, except for a friends husband who got all "oh god youre not feeding him are you" when I wasn't even doing it, he was just freaking out anyway. I said "why, do you need milk for your tea?"

My mother in law thinks I'm great for breastfeeding, helps to be brave and feed in front of people when they are so positive about it. Unlike my aunt who can't even bring herself to say breast, she just gestures and said it was too weird for her to do with her children.

bobskii

lol to the milk for your Tea comment!!u fees in front of family and friends without even think in of it but when I'm out and about I'm always thinkin where can I go to feed her so I don't encounter something like that.

spottybananas

Tbh I dont feed in front of friends and family without a thought, it takes me a lot of nerve to do it. I wasnt planning on doing that at all, I was going to leave rooms, cover up, etc, but having visited a friend who had just had a baby when I was still pregnant made me brave as she just fed in front of me with her top and bra completely pulled down for access and thought fair play to her and what had I thought the big deal was about. My family would be very private about bodies so even feeding in front of my mum was a big deal at first.

ariana`

madeinamerica i suggest you follow up with a letter to the management of the convention centre, again you don't need to be hostile, but explain your experience as you did here. Hopefully it will push them to update "their rules" to be more in line with the law and save some other mum the embarrassment of your experience. As another poster said you sound very confident and handled it extremely well, kudos to you, but a lot of other mums might be a lot more thrown off balance by such an experience.

I fed my 2 and never had any negative experiences thankfully. I'm due again soon and thankfully i have no fears 3rd time around but if that had happened me on my 1st goodness knows, i definitely would not have had your self-assurance. I used a cover once, the very 1st time i fed my 1st baby publicly (the darkest corner i could find in a gastro pub on a quiet afternoon) and the poor baba went home hungry and i went home stressed, i spent most of the feed fussing with the darn cover i couldn't get him on properly at all, never again did that cover see the light of day but i was always discreet of course and i have no qualms now about popping them out wherever necessary to feed a hungry baby.

FurBabyMomma

It's funny as I was such a conservative person before I had my baby, I wouldn't even walk around a changing room naked. But I had a c-section, had some complications after which caused me to inflate like a balloon, baby was cluster feeding... In short I was in so much pain in hospital I didn't care who saw my boobs and my poor mil got an eyeful more than once! Since I've come home though I'm totally discreet when feeding and don't 'flaunt the flesh' but I think that experience really helped me to not be shy about feeding in public. I say I left all shame about my body behind me in hospital!

I'm the first in my family to bf and at first my parents would scuttle off in embarrassment any time I did it. However I was a very refluxy baby witg stomach issues and my mum says I used to projectile vomit up every feed so now seeing as how my daughter has no issues and apparently lovely skin she says, my mum is a total convert. (although in fairness I was prob just on the wrong formula as a child but I'm happy she thinks it's so great!)

spottybananas

Furbaby same here, I'm very shy about some aspects of my body (will flash cleavage and legs and wear bikinis with the best of them!), I'd never change in front of anyone and hate being naked. C section recovery has seriously helped me with it

having someone change bloody pads will take away any dignity and/or shame!

My mum and mother in law were a bit skittish about it at first but now they both gaze adoringly at the funny way he puts his hand over his mouth like he's protecting my modesty

ariana`

FurBabyMomma wrote: »

It's funny as I was such a conservative person before I had my baby, I wouldn't even walk around a changing room naked. But I had a c-section, had some complications after which caused me to inflate like a balloon, baby was cluster feeding... In short I was in so much pain in hospital I didn't care who saw my boobs and my poor mil got an eyeful more than once! Since I've come home though I'm totally discreet when feeding and don't 'flaunt the flesh' but I think that experience really helped me to not be shy about feeding in public. I say I left all shame about my body behind me in hospital!

I'm the first in my family to bf and at first my parents would scuttle off in embarrassment any time I did it. However I was a very refluxy baby witg stomach issues and my mum says I used to projectile vomit up every feed so now seeing as how my daughter has no issues and apparently lovely skin she says, my mum is a total convert. (although in fairness I was prob just on the wrong formula as a child but I'm happy she thinks it's so great!)

LOL my 2nd child was breast fed and had reflux and projectile vomited every feed too!! So it possibly wouldn't have made much difference but "Ssssssssh" definitely don't tell your Mum, take the praise and relish it, it's great to have a supportive mother and/or mother in law

There's nothing like childbirth to make us lose all inhibitions is there :rolleyes: It's all good though.

The only embarrassing public feeding experience i had was after a night away at a wedding when baby was 5 months, i went to my Mums to collect him, i put him on the boob straight away cos i was in agony, my mum, sister and her partner, were all sitting around me in the kitchen to hear about how the wedding went, baby hopped off the boob nearly straight away gagging (full aching boobs = fast let down), i was too busy grappling with him and trying to help him cough it up to pop in a pad/close my bra, so while i was getting him sorted milk was spraying literally straight across the kitchen from my boob. Needless to say they all politely said they'd give me a few mins to sort myself and left the room morto

spottybananas

That's hilarious

I sprayed myself in the face with milk lastnight My husband was like " Did he kick you/throw up??" and I had to explain what I had done :P

FurBabyMomma

Oh ariana trust me, I have no intention of enlightening her

Lol ladies that is hysterical, quite a party trick to be able to spray! I'm thinking of that Katy Perry video now

tinkerbell

How in the feck did you manage to spray yourself in the face?! :eek: I haven't fed much out and about, I just always found it too awkward (not for the possible flashing factor) but because I can't seem to get in a comfortable enough position. Plus, my baby prefers to nurse when we are in the side-by-side lying down position and keeps bobbing off / looking around if I try sitting up! So if I fed in public now everyone would probably get a view of my milk production facilities So I only do it if I need to.

However, that said, I have nursed in probably the most embarrassing of circumstances (at least in my mind) - at the christening, baby was screaming for the boob (despite feeding just before we left for the church 10 mins prior!) and would not stop until boob came out. I had to nurse for pretty much most of the ceremony, to my horror, as obviously the priest is over and back the whole time doing the blessings and what not. OMG I was MORTIFIED. But he was so nice about it and told me not to disturb baby and to just keep on feeding and he just worked away and did the blessing. Afterwards, he came over and told me he hoped I wasn't embarrassed or felt uncomfortable and it is the most beautiful thing you can do for your baby and it's such a close bond.

I was like :eek: Wasn't expecting that at all!

My dignity is well n truly gone at this stage!!!

However, the experience at the convention centre is shocking. I would be writing a letter to the manager as that is illegal. And telling you that they previously told a mother to go to the fcking TOILET?????? :mad: Now that makes my blood BOIL. If somebody ever told me to go to the toilet to feed my baby, I would seriously tell them to go fck themselves. And if I was told to cover up I would do the same. I can't feed my baby covered up, the muslin goes flying! And besides, would an adult like to wear a shawl over their head while eating? No! Then why should a baby?! FFS.

Sligo1

tinkerbell wrote: »

However, the experience at the convention centre is shocking. I would be writing a letter to the manager as that is illegal. And telling you that they previously told a mother to go to the fcking TOILET?????? :mad: Now that makes my blood BOIL.

My thoughts exactly tinkerbell! Seriously! Who would eat sitting on a toilet!!!

Now having said this... When my first was 3 weeks old and I was very new to breastfeeding I have to admit I went into a pub to a toilet when my baby was screaming and fed him there. It was the only place around. It was the first and only time I did it. It was a personal choice however, as I was very nervous about doing it in public back then. Never ever ever would I do it now. And to think how embarrassed I was back then! After a couple months with my first and always on my second id just whip them out wherever and not give it a second thought.

tinkerbell

Sligo1 wrote: »

My thoughts exactly tinkerbell! Seriously! Who would eat sitting on a toilet!!!

And public toilets are disgusting! When I need to go I'm in and out of there as quickly as possible. I sure as hell wouldn't be settling myself in a cubicle for a breastfeeding session. Hell no. Not to mention how unhygienic it is. FFS. It should be a criminal offence to suggest a baby is breastfed in a toilet. Fckin fools. I really hate this country sometimes, it's just so bloody backward.

spottybananas

It was dark and I kinda hunched over to see was there any milk left or was he just sucking for the craic and I pressed on it and shot it into my face among other directions

Sligo1

tinkerbell wrote: »

And public toilets are disgusting! When I need to go I'm in and out of there as quickly as possible. I sure as hell wouldn't be settling myself in a cubicle for a breastfeeding session. Hell no. Not to mention how unhygienic it is. FFS. It should be a criminal offence to suggest a baby is breastfed in a toilet. Fckin fools. I really hate this country sometimes, it's just so bloody backward.

Lol... See my edit. My lowest point ever! As I said... My personal choice but at the time I didn't feel like there was another option... I'm actually a bit disgusted with myself even doing it just that once if I'm honest!

tinkerbell

Sligo1 wrote: »

Lol... See my edit. My lowest point ever! As I said... My personal choice but at the time I didn't feel like there was another option... I'm actually a bit disgusted with myself even doing it just that once if I'm honest!

Just saw your edit - god you poor thing! At least a few months later you were more comfortable. A pub is pretty uncomfortable though when trying to get a 3w old to feed, not surprised you hid away!!!

Sligo1

tinkerbell wrote: »

Just saw your edit - god you poor thing! At least a few months later you were more comfortable. A pub is pretty uncomfortable though when trying to get a 3w old to feed, not surprised you hid away!!!

I wasn't even in the pub would u believe. It was this country road and I had To use the loo. So instead of going in and grabbing a cuppa and sitting down to feed, I went into the loo because I didn't want to feed infront of everyone. Was lunch time in this tiny country pub. Gosh when I think of it... I dunno what I was thinking! Not one of my proudest moments!

madeinamerica

Ladies thanks so much for your replies! Great to hear your stories. Of been mad busy with work so late replying.

Tbh when pregnant I thought I'd have no bother bf in public, i was all 'that's what boobs are for, I'm so going to bf everywhere' but at the start I was pretty nervous and fed him under a cover anytime any men other than hubby were present ( btw I found a ' bebe au lait ' cover great, it has a wire in it at the top that gives you a hands free view of baby and boob so makes latching on easy to see but no one else can see.) I used it more so I wouldn't make other people uncomfortable. But I got over that by going to a bf group, mum and baby yoga class ( more bf than yoga!) and then went to a quiet park as first bf in public. Now I am pretty confident with it and will feed him anywhere, partly cos I'm better at it and partly cos I'm back to 'they are just boobs and they are for feeding my baby!'. Which is kinda why I was surprised that that woman upset me.

I will contact the centre and make a complaint. Ye are right, I should do it for the next mum that wants to bf there. I didn't flip out with her, even though I was mad, as I kinda think it would be more effective to 'convert' her with being super pleasant and just keep mentioning the law rather than getting her back up, iykwim.

BTW, to those of you who are nervous of feeding in public, don't let this put you off!, honestly most people do not even notice and if they do they generally don't bat an eye. I was just unlucky. I have sat with a friend who bf right in front of me and I didn't notice so it can be done like that if you want. And the more people that do bf n public, the more everyone will just see it as the normal thing it is. Check out the bebe au lait cover if you want. It did help my transition

spottybananas

I find wearing a string top that pulls down and a vest top that pulls up the best most discreet way to do it, nobody sees anything and you can barely tell once baby is latched. Throw in a scarf and it's super discreet.

otwb1

madeinamerica, definitely complain to the management. I'm nervous feeding in public as well, but the more we do it, the more normalised and socially acceptable it will become (and we'll finally catch up on lots of other countries).

...you've made me want to bring baby to the next conference at the convention centre! (let's see if we can get the staff used to seeing babies being fed ;-))

How Strange

madeinamerica that is appong. Make your complaint to the equality commission and they will follow it up. It's absolutely against the law and luckily you knew that. Nonetheless it's an awful situation to be put in.

weiland79

Hi all,

Using my husbands account here and would really appreciate some advise on breastfeeding.
I gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl 8 days ago and really wanted to breastfeed but it is not going well at all and not sure where to go to next,
I was induced at 38 weeks as baby was small all throughout pregnancy, labour came on pretty fast and delivered within a couple of hours with only gas and air,
Skin to skin was done first and then tried to breastfeed, the midwife helped me latch on but took a while but once daughter latched on she fed for 30 minutes, so over the next 24 hours I fed her every 3 hours but always had difficulty with the latch so the midwives would help me out but she would feed then for 20 minutes no problems,
The next day my daughter had lost 8.4% of her weight and as she was only 6 pounds 6 oz when born, we had to stay another night and the midwife suggested to breastfeed and top up with formula every 3 hours which I did to get the weight on, during this time there were no signs that she was never getting enough breast milk,
The third day my breasts were extremely painful but the baby had put on weight so was allowed go home but met with the lactation consultant first, she suggested to give the baby formula and for me to start expressing using a hospital grade pump to let my breasts heel and to build up my milk supply, she was able to hand express about 15 mls of colostrum from both breasts and she said to call on Monday and we would work again on the latch, so as I had a plan in place I was quite content and off home we all went,
So over the next two days I pumped every three hours but only got a ml or two at the most per each session, the public health nurse came to visit on Friday and she suggested taking mottillium and fennel tea which I did, on Saturday my breasts got a little hard and sore so thought my milk was coming in and it did slightly but again I was only pumping about 5 mls per session, I rang the lactation consultant from the hospital and she had expected my milk to come in by now but she told me to keep at it, as you can imagine expressing and then feeding every three hours there is not much time left for anything else including sleep,
Anyway yesterday morning, it was like I was expressing colostrum again, my milk went very yellow and creamy and since yesterday afternoon I have been unable to express one drop even though I'm at it every three hours,
Today in desperation I have tried my daughter on my breast and she will not go near my left and she fed on the right twice for about five minutes, but the latch seems alot better and is not sore,
Overall my health seems fairly good, I have had two episodes of cramps that have felt like really bad contractions and my breasts just have this constant tingly feeling but after reading numerous items on line I haven't had that fullness that people seem to have when milk comes in, I attended a breast feeding group but none of the women I spoke to have experienced what I am going through, I have left a message for the hospital lactation consultant and the public health nurse is visiting again tomorrow, I'm reluctant to just completely ditch the bottles as my daughter has not put on much weight so is good to see she is definitely getting what she needs from the bottles until I'm fully ready,
For once in my life I'm doing everything by the book and have taken no short cuts bar maybe expressing 4 hours rather than 3 when I have been really exhausted,
I'm not ready to quit yet but I am starting to get really upset that my effort is not paying off, had anyone ever experienced something similar, or as it has been 8 days since birth maybe I won't get any milk, did I mess up along the way?
At this stage should I pay more money to get a private lactation consultant out as I've already paid 140e to rent pump etc,

Many thanks

fall

A private consultant might be the way to go. The one thing I definitely think will help is to let your baby nurse much more regularly than every three hours during the day. In the early weeks there were days where my daughter was latched pretty much for the entire day. Maybe try that for a day to see if it improves the situation. Make sure to have a cream like lansinoh for your nipples. Hope that helps.

lazygal

I'd try taking to the bed and feed lying down. You'll need to feed near constantly at this stage, don't even think of a schedule.

Day Lewin

weiland79, there are very helpful support groups on facebook now. You could put your question and get answers from other mamas that have just gone through the same.

Sounds like your babe might have a tongue tie, or a stiff neck after the birth, and both of these can be fixed. And if your milk is not flowing freely, there are fixes for that too: feed more often, drink fenugreek tea, etc

There is a very good website called kellymom that has excellent advice too http://kellymom.com/category/bf/concerns/

and there is always La Leche League and Cuidiu for experienced qualified counsellors and lactation consultants.

Best of luck, never quit on a bad day! :-)

weiland79

lazygal wrote: »

I'd try taking to the bed and feed lying down. You'll need to feed near constantly at this stage, don't even think of a schedule.

Thanks for the advise but when I pump there is nothing coming out from the breast so would be worried she wouldn't be getting enough, she is almost exclusively feeding formula at the moment, as she doesn't latch on most times to the breast or spits it out as it's like she is not getting anything from it,