How much money do you spend on your girlfriend

Dj Stiggie

SLUSK, you seem to be looking at this in very practical terms, so think of it this way:

You have €500.

The man always pays for the first date, IMO, and after that you can go Dutch or whatever.

First date: €60 (If you're lucky)

Birthday: €50

Chirstmas: €50

Valentines Day: €80 (Dinner and present)

Easter (May or may not be relevant): €10 (not too sure here tbh)

Straight away that's €250.

Surely you'd want to buy her flowers or something occasionally, so over the course of a year I'd estimate that at €80.

Then you're left with €180 for anything else that could come up. She had a bad day, you take her to the cinema, €20, etc.

After all that, my point is, you should get most of that back. With the exception of the first date. Like if that's too much for you, you shouldn't go out with her. I do see your point, you don't want a moocher, but really if you're getting away with spending €500 per annum, she is by no means a moocher, IMO

star-pants

Whilst I personally couldn't see how the 'price of a girlfriend' would come into your head before 'do I want to date her' - I'll answer.

Having an OH costs money - end of.
Having friends costs money.
Having family costs money.
Having a life costs money.

How much you spend on all of the above, is technically up to you.

Assuming 'omg a girl is going to cost me a bomb' is a bit one sided really. How much are you going to cost her?
I personally spend money if I'm dating someone, buying gifts or whatever. Regarding dinner/dates/cinema/food, depends really, if one person offers to pay for the date that evening and you try to offer too and they insist - I'm not going to be rude. But I don't expect it, nor do I forget it. I'll catch the bill next time.
So it's not like a girl dating a guy is getting the relationship for free and he's footing the bill. In some relationships it costs the girls more. I've had female friends fork out more than twice the amount the guys do, cuz maybe they're the ones that are working or the guy 'doesn't have any money at the minute but would love to hang out'. This stuff happens on both sides of the relationship.

Yes there will be female moochers, there are also male moochers. There are girls who expect everything to be paid for and there are guys who will insist upon paying for everything.

In friendships sometimes I'll pick up the tickets to the cinema, I won't demand my friend pay me. Might be my treat, or it might be her/his treat. Or if either is short on funds ye do something that doesn't cost too much. It's about give and take, and so is a relationship.

If the first thought is 'I don't want to pay to have a gf' then *clearly* you've not met a girl you're really interested in. Because if you're stuck for money or not, it doesn't stop you spending time with a gf, if ye care about each other, if one or both of ye are short on funds then they'll understand.
Same with friends - they're not your friends for money, but if you or they have money it might get spent on the friendship.

I've never thought to myself 'gods can I afford another friend'? same way I wouldn't think 'I can't afford a bf'. I'm not stingy and I wouldn't like someone else being stingy either. Not having money is one thing, being stingy is another. I wouldn't stand for a bf who expected me to pay for everything, the same way I don't expect a bf to pay for everything.

tl;dr
Things cost. How much is up to you.

K-9

Remember the value of your investment may go up or down.

K-9

K-9 wrote: »

Remember the value of your investment may go up or down.

he's hoping for down.

donfers

star-pants wrote: »

Whilst I personally couldn't see how the 'price of a girlfriend' would come into your head before 'do I want to date her' - I'll answer.

Having an OH costs money - end of.
Having friends costs money.
Having family costs money.
Having a life costs money.

How much you spend on all of the above, is technically up to you.

Assuming 'omg a girl is going to cost me a bomb' is a bit one sided really. How much are you going to cost her?
I personally spend money if I'm dating someone, buying gifts or whatever. Regarding dinner/dates/cinema/food, depends really, if one person offers to pay for the date that evening and you try to offer too and they insist - I'm not going to be rude. But I don't expect it, nor do I forget it. I'll catch the bill next time.
So it's not like a girl dating a guy is getting the relationship for free and he's footing the bill. In some relationships it costs the girls more. I've had female friends fork out more than twice the amount the guys do, cuz maybe they're the ones that are working or the guy 'doesn't have any money at the minute but would love to hang out'. This stuff happens on both sides of the relationship.

Yes there will be female moochers, there are also male moochers. There are girls who expect everything to be paid for and there are guys who will insist upon paying for everything.

In friendships sometimes I'll pick up the tickets to the cinema, I won't demand my friend pay me. Might be my treat, or it might be her/his treat. Or if either is short on funds ye do something that doesn't cost too much. It's about give and take, and so is a relationship.

If the first thought is 'I don't want to pay to have a gf' then *clearly* you've not met a girl you're really interested in. Because if you're stuck for money or not, it doesn't stop you spending time with a gf, if ye care about each other, if one or both of ye are short on funds then they'll understand.
Same with friends - they're not your friends for money, but if you or they have money it might get spent on the friendship.

I've never thought to myself 'gods can I afford another friend'? same way I wouldn't think 'I can't afford a bf'. I'm not stingy and I wouldn't like someone else being stingy either. Not having money is one thing, being stingy is another. I wouldn't stand for a bf who expected me to pay for everything, the same way I don't expect a bf to pay for everything.

tl;dr
Things cost. How much is up to you.

I disagree with most of that I am afraid.

You and a few other women have posted on this forum and the consensus from the girls in this thread would seem to be that they pay their way.

That seems to be the trend. I have plenty of male and female friends and the funny thing is the vast majority of the guys think they pay for most things whereas most of the girls say that they shell out occassionally and it's not always the guy.

Somebody is telling porkies then, or at the very least being equivocal with the truth.

This being the gentlemen's club, and I being male, mean that I can only speak from the male perspective. And almost every guy I know says that they pay more. Most of them don't mind or think twice about it.

So the two points I think that are interesting are


1. I find it a little hypocritical that some modern liberal-minded progressive women are happy to consent to an old-fashioned conservative "male provides for female" mentality where it suits them.

2. Many women, in my view, are in denial about this and perhaps justify their position with some self-delusion about how much they actually spend in comparison to their partner on each other. I have heard many women, indeed in this thread, claim they pay as much as their partner but when we drill down to the actual cold hard truth of who bears the expenses, she will often realise he pays a hell of a lot more. Maybe she sometimes takes stuff he pays for for granted and disproportionally highlights her spends as it is so outside the expected norm. Often the woman will say "well remember i got you dinner on x date or I always get a round in etc etc" failing to realise the guy can't recall a date he pays for dinner on as it is almost every date, or that he would only love to get 1 round on a nightout and leave it at that, patting himself on the back for doing his bit. No, for him the norm is round after round after round after round. I also know couples who earn roughly equal but the guy pays the full rent and covers most of the expenses on a night out. To be honest both of them are equally culpable for this and if they are both content with it then fine. I even know guys who have no job and are near broke who are still expected by their career girlfriends to not just go halves but continue to provide for her.

I know my views are not pc and of course I can't be arsed trawling the net for imperical evidence to back up these views. These are purely anecdotal observations that I have cherrypicked to get across my point. I know and have dated women who are very generous and go out of their way to pay their share. Fair play to them but my honest opinion is that a lot of women do willingly or unwillingly take advantage of the "men should provide" societal expectation on men, and shamefully some of these women do so on the one hand while advocating the whole "sisters are doing it for themselves" ethos on the other hand.

I simply have a problem with pick and choose nature to their socio-political ideologies especially when the ideologies are in conflict. For me it means they lose all credibility.

SLUSK

Thb the angels working the backstreets have treated me much better than normal girls

Mr Yellow

donfers wrote: »

I disagree with most of that I am afraid.

I agree with your statement of disagreement.

By the way Op, with an outlook such as yours, might be best to stick to the world of ladies of the night, being no strings attached etc..cheaper, & thats what you seem to prefer

mood

donfers wrote: »

I disagree with most of that I am afraid.

You and a few other women have posted on this forum and the consensus from the girls in this thread would seem to be that they pay their way.

That seems to be the trend. I have plenty of male and female friends and the funny thing is the vast majority of the guys think they pay for most things whereas most of the girls say that they shell out occassionally and it's not always the guy.

Somebody is telling porkies then, or at the very least being equivocal with the truth.

This being the gentlemen's club, and I being male, mean that I can only speak from the male perspective. And almost every guy I know says that they pay more. Most of them don't mind or think twice about it.

So the two points I think that are interesting are


1. I find it a little hypocritical that some modern liberal-minded progressive women are happy to consent to an old-fashioned conservative "male provides for female" mentality where it suits them.

2. Many women, in my view, are in denial about this and perhaps justify their position with some self-delusion about how much they actually spend in comparison to their partner on each other. I have heard many women, indeed in this thread, claim they pay as much as their partner but when we drill down to the actual cold hard truth of who bears the expenses, she will often realise he pays a hell of a lot more. Maybe she sometimes takes stuff he pays for for granted and disproportionally highlights her spends as it is so outside the expected norm. Often the woman will say "well remember i got you dinner on x date or I always get a round in etc etc" failing to realise the guy can't recall a date he pays for dinner on as it is almost every date, or that he would only love to get 1 round on a nightout and leave it at that, patting himself on the back for doing his bit. No, for him the norm is round after round after round after round. I also know couples who earn roughly equal but the guy pays the full rent and covers most of the expenses on a night out. To be honest both of them are equally culpable for this and if they are both content with it then fine. I even know guys who have no job and are near broke who are still expected by their career girlfriends to not just go halves but continue to provide for her.

I know my views are not pc and of course I can't be arsed trawling the net for imperical evidence to back up these views. These are purely anecdotal observations that I have cherrypicked to get across my point. I know and have dated women who are very generous and go out of their way to pay their share. Fair play to them but my honest opinion is that a lot of women do willingly or unwillingly take advantage of the "men should provide" societal expectation on men, and shamefully some of these women do so on the one hand while advocating the whole "sisters are doing it for themselves" ethos on the other hand.

I simply have a problem with pick and choose nature to their socio-political ideologies especially when the ideologies are in conflict. For me it means they lose all credibility.

Well, you or your friends have never gone out with me. I always pay my way, always.

mood

Mr Yellow wrote: »

I agree with your statement of disagreement.

By the way Op, with an outlook such as yours, might be best to stick to the world of ladies of the night, being no strings attached etc..cheaper, & thats what you seem to prefer

I agree. I can't see you having a healthy relationship with a woman with your attitude. Comparing a potential girlfriend to prostitutes it not healthy and no self respecting woman would want a relationship with a guy with such views. Maybe you should get some counselling.

SLUSK

mood wrote: »

I agree. I can't see you having a healthy relationship with a woman with your attitude. Comparing a potential girlfriend to prostitutes it not healthy and no self respecting woman would want a relationship with a guy with such views. Maybe you should get some counselling.

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

mood

SLUSK wrote: »

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

No. I'm just saying it's not a normal, healthy attitude to have. Counselling is not only for the mentally ill.

SLUSK

mood wrote: »

No. I'm just saying it's not a normal, healthy attitude to have. Counselling is not only for the mentally ill.

If I am not mentally ill I don't see why I should see a shrink.

mood

SLUSK wrote: »

If I am not mentally ill I don't see why I should see a shrink.

Because you don't have a normal, healthy attitude towards women and relationships. Counsellers are not shrinks and loads of people seek their help for all sorts of reasons.

james998964

SLUSK wrote: »

Thb the angels working the backstreets have treated me much better than normal girls

Because you are there customer, and you are paying for sex.

opinion guy

SLUSK wrote: »

Are you suggesting I am mentally ill?

To be perfectly honest, and I apologise ahead of time if this offends anyone but I've been wondering if you have some psychological condition. You don't seem to have any emotions in relation to this whole thing ? I mean why are you even interested in having this particular girl as your girlfriend ?

SLUSK

opinion guy wrote: »

To be perfectly honest, and I apologise ahead of time if this offends anyone but I've been wondering if you have some psychological condition. You don't seem to have any emotions in relation to this whole thing ? I mean why are you even interested in having this particular girl as your girlfriend ?

She looks pretty good and she seems nice so far. I want her but not if the price is too high.

james998964

SLUSK wrote: »

She looks pretty good and she seems nice so far. I want her but not if the price is too high.

You want her but not if the price is too high?!?! I hope your a troll. If not you are seriously unwell and I hope she has no interest in you as you sound like a creep. She's not a possesion with a price. If you like someone price is not something you think about.

Stheno

SLUSK wrote: »

She looks pretty good and she seems nice so far. I want her but not if the price is too high.

Well I'm female OP and for nights out myself and my OH rotate the bill, I pay one night he pays the next.

We go out usually twice a week, average €50 per night, so over a year, for each of us that's €2600

Then there are Birthdays and Christmas, estimate €150-€250 each per occasion so that's another €500 bringing it up to €3000

Then say €500 each on one holiday, €3500

Then the odd special gift, or surprise, maybe another €500 over the year, so all in all we'd both spend a min. of €4000 over the year.

We do actually split things evenly so that's a fairly accurate assessment.

drunkmonkey

SLUSK wrote: »

She looks pretty good and she seems nice so far. I want her but not if the price is too high.

Why are you so worried about money, she's not a hooker, she won't charge for a ride. If you've got no money tell her you can't afford a happy meal, if she loves you she'll understand.

See that word up there in bold, say it to yourself 3 times while looking backwards in a mirror, it'll all start to make sense then;)

Mr. Presentable

After the initial €300.00, about €5.00 per month on cleaning and puncture repair.

Stheno

DUH! I forgot contraception, our choice of it costs us €360 per year!

So OP I reckon on a budget of €500 you'll have about €320 per year left for your gf after you pay for your half of the contraception costs.

€320 per year divided by €52 leaves you with the princely sum of €6.15 per week to spend on a gf.

That's not even a round of drinks! BUT the contraception is important, it will save you up to €150 per week in child maintenance if you/she have an accident and end up having a child together

mood

nouggatti wrote: »

DUH! I forgot contraception, our choice of it costs us €360 per year!

So OP I reckon on a budget of €500 you'll have about €320 per year left for your gf after you pay for your half of the contraception costs.

€320 per year divided by €52 leaves you with the princely sum of €6.15 per week to spend on a gf.

That's not even a round of drinks! BUT the contraception is important, it will save you up to €150 per week in child maintenance if you/she have an accident and end up having a child together

There is also the cost of getting checked out and possibly treated for STIs (after all the OP has slept with prostitutes).

candlegrease

SLUSK wrote: »

How much money do you spend on your girlfriend on an annual basis? It looks like I might be getting a girlfriend but I'm worried that she will be a financial burden. How much should one expect to spend on a girlfriend?

If it looks like it will be to expensive for me like if I'm expected to spend €500 on her annually I do not want her! :mad:

Classic!

CDfm

I reckon I spend between 3 to 4,000 a year on my girlfriend and she a similar amount on me.

That gives us a reasoinable social life and it depends what you want from life.`

Funnily enough OP, two weeks ago I had a chat with a very good friend of mine whose brother estimated he could live grocery wise on 5.83 a week from Lidl (each for him and his partner). They are spending twice that but their diet includes a lot of porriage, bananas and fruit and veg past its sell by date. I couldnt live like that.

So part of it is going to be the quality of life you want and she wants and what you are going to spend your life doing.

Whatever floats your boat but it has to float hers too.

I often see people live in cheap substandard housing and poor clothes find thats living but its subsistance living. Now thats fine if two people agree that they are going to live like that. Relatively, if you live in the far east etc the cost of living etc is different to here and you have to adjust to it and not it to you.

Now you might have found someone who has shared values to you like my friends brother did and they are very happy hippies and they are both content not to work.

dearg lady

mood wrote: »

There is also the cost of getting checked out and possibly treated for STIs (after all the OP has slept with prostitutes).

OT, but the suggestion that the OP is more likely to have an STD cos he slept with prostitutes does not sit well with me. I can't be sure, I don't have figures to justify my opinion, but my guess is sex workers would be even more diligent than your average person when it comes to contraception.

OP, I think it's a fairly reasonable question, there's a lot of women out there who do expect the man to pay for everything, but there's plenty who are happy to pay their way, insist upon it even, I'm guessing that's the kind of girl you're after.

I don't know if I missed your answer to Thaedydals question, but I also wonder what you mean by spending money on the girl?? As other have said, you'll be probably be goin out more, on dates with the girl, that will cost money for yourself, are you including this??

Diabhal_Glas

This thread is cracking me up, I really cant decide if your taking the piss or not SLUSK,

No better man to head to Aldi for the condoms

humberklog

mood wrote: »

There is also the cost of getting checked out and possibly treated for STIs (after all the OP has slept with prostitutes).

Ah sure it seems a while ago that the OP is talking about paying for hookers so the scratch and sniff test should suffice (if he's not scratching and there's no peculiar bang off the tackle by now then he's good to go).

Just very curious as to how the accounts break down into this 500 squids over the course of a year.

Oh and Slusk, I wouldn't bother with the counselling suggestion. It takes all sorts to make the world go around and there's no need for society to try and iron out every blip. You're doing grand, bit over cautious fiscally perhaps but that ain't my business (nor your use of hookers).

But what were you planning on splashing the, no doubt hard earned, moola on with this very, very, lucky lady?

CDfm

Ya -lots of posters are being very unfair on you OP - you have a different cultural view to lots of us.

Humberklog has asked quite a good question on the 500 euro breakdown.

My questions are similarily basic what would you expect do for 500 euro and what can she expect to get from the relationship. Also, lots of the women who have posted here are Irish -what nationality is this woman acquaintance of yours.

argosy2006

Iago wrote: »

if you multiply that figure by 10 you might start to close to what you might spend in a year.

500 x 10 sounds about right,, i just hope she doesn't find out about your other 9 GF's

humberklog

Indeed CD, I think that there are cultural differences at work here, with a twist of foible. If counselling could sort such things out then the U.S would be carpet bombing Iraq with Dr. Anthony Clare clones.

So Slusk to help us in our merry quest to figure out your positioning a couple of tidbits would be helpful: where are you originally from? where is your quarry from? and what would you be thinking this 500 snoots would be spent on?