Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Gremlinertia

Using anti-inflammatory cream to assist with the torn muscle, will have heat patch later and try some meditation to relax it out as much as i can. Honestly thought i'd gotten a smack at work i'd forgotten about for a while, first time stress has caught me here..

ulinbac

Hersheys wrote: »

I use one I get on script from my GP (difene). Your best bet is to go to the chemist and say you've muscle strain as there are some very good non-prescription ones out there, I just don't want to give out medical advice :P

Cheers Hersheys,

Ya difene is an NSAID (anti-inflammatory). Have loads of them. Thought you meant something like Xanax with you said muscle relaxant and I don't want to be taking anything like that. That there is anything wrong with taking Xanax, just a personal preference as I have to take enough drugs for the back alreadya nd don't want to add to the list :pac:

Hersheys

Difene is the gel and I take diazepam (yes, I know) as the muscle relaxant.

Not that often though!

stinkle

today is a good bit better so far. The dark mornings are seriously annoying though! Feels like getting up in the middle of the night. I relaxed a lot last night, made another healthy-ish dinner and stayed away from sweets. Only had 2 cups of tea and lots of water. My stomach is definitely thanking me and that alone is helping my day. Was in touch with some family and that put me in a good mood too.

I had the dread once again after waking, my sleep was undisturbed but I had a bad dream about work so that was unnerving to wake up to! Morning got off to a strange start, had to scrap some idea, then rely on someone else's schedule to get through some other stuff. This meant I needed to cancel a meeting and missed catching up with another member of staff, which I feel bad about, but not enough to dwell on. I need to put myself first for the time being and just get through my existing commitments.

Had a quick teabreak with a friend and again we were both moaning about the same stuff and they totally got where I was coming from re:the stress at the moment. Some friends might be visiting later, not 100% which is kinda annoying me, but OH invited them and I'm happy to leave it for him to organise as I've too much other stuff to care about. Will definitely not have any booze either

Gremlinertia

It's fantastic that you have someone there who gets where you're coming from.. Work issues and stresses are difficult if you have to bear them alone.

Call Me Jimmy

stinkle wrote: »

today is a good bit better so far. The dark mornings are seriously annoying though! Feels like getting up in the middle of the night. I relaxed a lot last night, made another healthy-ish dinner and stayed away from sweets. Only had 2 cups of tea and lots of water. My stomach is definitely thanking me and that alone is helping my day. Was in touch with some family and that put me in a good mood too.

I had the dread once again after waking, my sleep was undisturbed but I had a bad dream about work so that was unnerving to wake up to! Morning got off to a strange start, had to scrap some idea, then rely on someone else's schedule to get through some other stuff. This meant I needed to cancel a meeting and missed catching up with another member of staff, which I feel bad about, but not enough to dwell on. I need to put myself first for the time being and just get through my existing commitments.

Had a quick teabreak with a friend and again we were both moaning about the same stuff and they totally got where I was coming from re:the stress at the moment. Some friends might be visiting later, not 100% which is kinda annoying me, but OH invited them and I'm happy to leave it for him to organise as I've too much other stuff to care about. Will definitely not have any booze either

Great to hear stinkle! You can put yourself first forever and this will naturally lead to you caring for other people so don't put a time limit on it!

Call Me Jimmy

And just a quote from Raymond Carver that I like:

"There isn't enough of anything as long as we live. But at intervals a sweetness appears and, given a chance prevails."

stinkle

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's fantastic that you have someone there who gets where you're coming from.. Work issues and stresses are difficult if you have to bear them alone.

you're so right, it was actually brilliant when I mentioned how stressful it was and they took the words right out of my mouth! Bit the bullet there and got stuck into something I was putting off. Feels good to have done that. Baby steps.

gah, just realised it's been a week since I applied for a particular job but have heard nothing back. That's disheartening. Gonna apply for another today though

MickFleetwood

stinkle wrote: »

you're so right, it was actually brilliant when I mentioned how stressful it was and they took the words right out of my mouth! Bit the bullet there and got stuck into something I was putting off. Feels good to have done that. Baby steps.

gah, just realised it's been a week since I applied for a particular job but have heard nothing back. That's disheartening. Gonna apply for another today though

You have a very good attitude at the moment, nice to hear.

I've been feeling very negative about myself for the past few days, it's a horrible feeling to experience. Just feel like a bit of a failure and can't stop thinking about everything bad that's happened to me or any negative experiences I've had.

stinkle

MickFleetwood wrote: »

You have a very good attitude at the moment, nice to hear.

I've been feeling very negative about myself for the past few days, it's a horrible feeling to experience. Just feel like a bit of a failure and can't stop thinking about everything bad that's happened to me or any negative experiences I've had.

Thanks, I was a wreck a couple of weeks ago, and am only beginning to face up to that. I wasn't rock bottom, but just couldnt handle the stress that was building up, and noticed that some of my ways to cope weren;t necessarily the best. To be honest keeping track of this and writing stuff down has helped a lot, I'm very grateful to all the support.

Your description sounds like me a couple of weeks back. Everything that could go wrong seemed to be happening all at once and was dwelling on past bad experiences and feeling a failure. It's awful having those thoughts and the cycle of worry and self blame is neverending. Is there anything positive going on at the moment?

MickFleetwood

stinkle wrote: »

Thanks, I was a wreck a couple of weeks ago, and am only beginning to face up to that. I wasn't rock bottom, but just couldnt handle the stress that was building up, and noticed that some of my ways to cope weren;t necessarily the best. To be honest keeping track of this and writing stuff down has helped a lot, I'm very grateful to all the support.

Your description sounds like me a couple of weeks back. Everything that could go wrong seemed to be happening all at once and was dwelling on past bad experiences and feeling a failure. It's awful having those thoughts and the cycle of worry and self blame is neverending. Is there anything positive going on at the moment?

I'm feeling a bit more positive at the moment, although not the way I usually would. Feeling negative about myself is actually quite out of place for me, as usually I'm just depressed about life and things around me.

My feelings flip-flop constantly. I don't have much control over my emotions and I could go from positive to negative several times during the day. Hopefully things will even out in the future.

Call Me Jimmy

One thing I've been doing today after meditation and yoga is listening to really good electronic music. But what I'm doing differently is, because sometimes I get the tense stomach of anxiety, I sit here with the headphones and imagining all my cells around my stomach having their own europhic party down there. Started laughing to myself picturing them all dancing away free to their hearts content. Some real pill popper tunes as well so it's a funny image.

Stomach is not tense!

Gremlinertia

I'm getting wound up about the idea of finding a masseuse now. Pain when i breath constantly for six weeksish now but the idea of someone touching my back.... I'll have to "man up" wha?!?

Call Me Jimmy

What's the prob with someone touching yer back gremlin?

Gremlinertia

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

What's the prob with someone touching yer back gremlin?

I'm a bit of a personal space freak - mainly because of a long standing chronic acute pain issue which hasn't ever been properly diagnosed, i tend to be complicated at times.

ulinbac

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

One thing I've been doing today after meditation and yoga is listening to really good electronic music. But what I'm doing differently is, because sometimes I get the tense stomach of anxiety, I sit here with the headphones and imagining all my cells around my stomach having their own europhic party down there. Started laughing to myself picturing them all dancing away free to their hearts content. Some real pill popper tunes as well so it's a funny image.

Stomach is not tense!

Any house music recommendations?

Having a Yay and Boo-urns moment atm. Just about to arrive at Stansted to fly into Dublin for shrink appointment tomorrow morning. Its yay caus I need to talk and see her. Boo-urns caus I'm disappointes with my progress and thise negative thoughts over the last few months. Also not the biggest fan of flying since having a panic attack on a plane last year.

Appointment at 11 then have to rush back to airport caus friends flying over from Ireland for the weekend to fo on the beer which is nice. Talking to shrink always drains me. Usually come out on a massive high then crash. Have training straight after landing before mates arrive so going to be mentally and physically wrecked.

titan18

Sent two speculative job enquiries to companies today. May send more tomorrow

Call Me Jimmy

Sorry to post again but a notable coincidence happened:

I mentioned the europhic cells in my stomach dancing when listening to music and just heard a yogi describing that deep down inside, under the waves of desire is just the 'dance of ecstasy'...

hah pretty close!

NegativeCreep

There's definitely something to that. I always feel my anxiety subsiding when I listen to music!

MickFleetwood

NegativeCreep wrote: »

There's definitely something to that. I always feel my anxiety subsiding when I listen to music!

Yep. Nothing better than listening to some nice music when you're feeling down....

stinkle

gotta agree about the music, there's nothing better than just putting on some headphones and zoning out.

hmm today has been the best so far this week. got out of work at a decent time yesterday, ended up having to bring back something I bought recently and had a tough time dealing with that situation, which was kinda stressful but I think worked out ok. Felt a bit cringey about it after but am refusing to dwell on insignificant stuff like that.

Didn't have probs getting up today, though in fairness today is the only day where I'm working to my own schedule somewhat, which is probably why. I just had to track down some people for boring paperwork, and one cannot be found but hey, it'll get sorted.

My boss kinda freaked me out a few mins ago though by mentioning a link-up with one of the bullies in work... It was mentioned before and I managed to put it on the long finger. I'd rather not deal with them if I can avoid it (and that's definitely possible, they may be surplus to requirements). I've bought myself some time there in relation to that. Just hope my plan works out, will know in a few days how to proceed there. My plan might actually involve even more people and is possibly more stressful in a practical sense, but I desperately don't want to work with this person. I'm actually afraid to, and reluctant for them to get any recognition after all they've put me through. Happily boss wasn't pushing it, so that's a positive, and I wouldn't have a problem speaking to them about my concerns there if it comes down to it.

Noodleworm

I've been to two different Aware meetings in Dublin. I'm finding it helps. People are usually nice and once you work up the courage to talk it feels nice that your not hiding problems form them. I find you kind of have to go more than once to get a sense of the group. I'm going to try and keep it up. Yesterday we all went for coffee after. I think Id actually love if I could set up a depression/mood disorder coffee meetup or something

Hugo Stiglitz

Noodleworm wrote: »

I've been to two different Aware meetings in Dublin. I'm finding it helps. People are usually nice and once you work up the courage to talk it feels nice that your not hiding problems form them. I find you kind of have to go more than once to get a sense of the group. I'm going to try and keep it up. Yesterday we all went for coffee after. I think Id actually love if I could set up a depression/mood disorder coffee meetup or something

My only criticism of the Aware meetings is that I found the ones where I am located to consist of older people mostly. I find it hard to talk to people generally but I felt that made it just that extra bit harder. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people so it's not a criticism of them at all.

Hersheys

I'm an emotional fish today. I have a desire to just cry. I don't know why, I just do.

cloud493

I've been deciding to step out of my comfort zone a bit. I was elected as class rep, and I've organised a 'night out' for Wednesday. And trying to be more... cordial. As your woman at pieta house says. Talking to people. Smiling and all that. Very nervous though.

Hugo Stiglitz

Well done on getting the class rep gig Cloud

titan18

Well, job hunting sucks, it's all grad programs for next year or needing 5 years experience. This isn't going to be fun at all

murria

Hersheys wrote: »

I'm an emotional fish today. I have a desire to just cry. I don't know why, I just do.

Well don't hold back Hersheys, have a cry it's good for you. If possible share your tears with someone who cares, however, I'm sending you a hug just in case there's no one around. xx

Hersheys

Thanks murria. I may indulge this evening.

Gremlinertia

I have received a letter from work.. I missed two days and have now been summoned to dublin to discuss my performance. It has completely knocked me.. Suicidal thoughts, a wall of them.. Won't do anything though.. Just curled on couch feeling in shock.