Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

Hersheys

Depression, anxiety & hallucinations/night terrors.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Problem is my mental health has a huge knock on effect on my physical health too. Stress causes many problems.

Hersheys

Oh should probably mention my suicidal thoughts & desire to self harm (both controlled for now by psychologist and my amazing gp)

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hersheys wrote: »

Depression, anxiety & hallucinations/night terrors.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Problem is my mental health has a huge knock on effect on my physical health too. Stress causes many problems.

Sounds nasty alright, stress is a bitch too I completely lose my appetite and frequently throw up, which wrecks me out. Glad to hear your treatment has provided some relief.

Hersheys

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Hersheys wrote: »

Depression, anxiety & hallucinations/night terrors.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Problem is my mental health has a huge knock on effect on my physical health too. Stress causes many problems.

Sounds nasty alright, stress is a bitch too I completely lose my appetite and frequently throw up, which wrecks me out. Glad to hear your treatment has provided some relief.

I've been hospitalised with dehydration due to vomitting related stress so I feels your pain. What can be done tho, gotta work to pay the bills! Gp wants me to sign off on disability (it can be severely debilitating - stress, depression, some days I physically cannot move from the bed) but there's an 18 week wait in processing applications & the community welfare officer turned down my request.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hersheys wrote: »

I've been hospitalised with dehydration due to vomitting related stress so I feels your pain. What can be done tho, gotta work to pay the bills! Gp wants me to sign off on disability (it can be severely debilitating - stress, depression, some days I physically cannot move from the bed) but there's an 18 week wait in processing applications & the community welfare officer turned down my request.

Why does he want you to sign off it?

Hersheys

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Hersheys wrote: »

I've been hospitalised with dehydration due to vomitting related stress so I feels your pain. What can be done tho, gotta work to pay the bills! Gp wants me to sign off on disability (it can be severely debilitating - stress, depression, some days I physically cannot move from the bed) but there's an 18 week wait in processing applications & the community welfare officer turned down my request.

Why does he want you to sign off it?

Very long & complicated story but work is not a pleasant atmosphere & is contributing to my anxiety. Employers don't seem to care & there's only so many days you can call in sick with a migraine/tummy ache.

darkhorse

Hersheys wrote: »

Depression, anxiety & hallucinations/night terrors.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Problem is my mental health has a huge knock on effect on my physical health too. Stress causes many problems.

Try listening to your favourite songs on utube, I have nearly two hundred songs in my favourites, all seventies. Call me old fashioned, but it was the best era for music, ask anyone thats in their fifties. Or if your not into songs, try some comedy, its all on utube. Let me start you off. Go on utube and type in how to speak dublinese and tell me you did'nt laugh. Hersheys, hope you're alright.;)

Hersheys

darkhorse wrote: »

Hersheys wrote: »

Depression, anxiety & hallucinations/night terrors.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Problem is my mental health has a huge knock on effect on my physical health too. Stress causes many problems.

Try listening to your favourite songs on utube, I have nearly two hundred songs in my favourites, all seventies. Call me old fashioned, but it was the best era for music, ask anyone thats in their fifties. Or if your not into songs, try some comedy, its all on utube. Let me start you off. Go on utube and type in how to speak dublinese and tell me you did'nt laugh. Hersheys, hope you're alright.;)

Thanks for the advice. I watch YouTube when I can't sleep but the past few sleepless nights nothing has worked.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hersheys wrote: »

Very long & complicated story but work is not a pleasant atmosphere & is contributing to my anxiety. Employers don't seem to care & there's only so many days you can call in sick with a migraine/tummy ache.

Oh, that was lost in translation, your GP meant sign on to disability. I can see where you are coming from, I didn't want to stay on it, I just wanted to work and stay active. Only you can gauge this decision, but you need to ask yourself whether the current work stresses are worth the money/etc and weigh this against the effect that not working and being around the house all day will have. If you do decide on the latter route, it would be advisable to take up as many activities as you can, such as creative stuff (acting, art), group activities (hillwalking, kayaking, book club) and other stuff. Some days you will be able to make it to them, sometimes not, but at least you will have an outlet when you need it.

girlonfire

I've not been this anxious in a while. I feel as though my heart is going to burst out of my chest any minute.Yuck. I saw a post on here about how someone taps their hand when a panic attack is oncoming, so I've been trying it and it's helping so thanks for that.
Hope you're all doing well

Hersheys

I'm in a state due to lack of sleep... I cannot focus on the good, I'm stuck on the bad. I really, really, really want to hurt myself

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hersheys wrote: »

I'm in a state due to lack of sleep... I cannot focus on the good, I'm stuck on the bad. I really, really, really want to hurt myself

Sorry to hear that Hersheys, you know that hurting yourself solves nothing though. I highly recommend the ice cube trick, or whatever works for you.

Hersheys

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Hersheys wrote: »

I'm in a state due to lack of sleep... I cannot focus on the good, I'm stuck on the bad. I really, really, really want to hurt myself

Sorry to hear that Hersheys, you know that hurting yourself solves nothing though. I highly recommend the ice cube trick, or whatever works for you.

I'm on a comedown from meds too. That doesn't help

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hersheys wrote: »

I'm on a comedown from meds too. That doesn't help

Yeah exactly, it's probably just withdrawal, it's not forever.

If you need someone to PM, fire away.

Hersheys

Thanks Chazz

ashblag

i havent felt emotion in a long long time. im waiting for the tipping point where I just cant stay quiet anymore!
its worse feeling empty than to be over emotional

cloud493

My sisters housemate killed herself tonight bit of a shock.

darkhorse

cloud493 wrote: »

My sisters housemate killed herself tonight bit of a shock.

Very sorry to hear that, cloud. May the person rest in peace.
John

girlonfire

So sorry to hear that Cloud. Very sad.

River Song

Long time reader, new poster to this thread, but anyway here goes.

Blurb: 19y/o with serious mood problems, auditory and visual hallucinations, problems with self-harm and the likes, anxiety attacks and bad at making and maintaining relationships, etc.. On Efexor (Well, Ireven) 187.5mg daily, which is doing sweet f-all, and has been for nearly a year now. Anyway...

Was in work yesterday, didn't realize I hadn't taken my meds the night before, went absolutely ballistic at the drop of a hat, couldn't bring myself to even think about serving a customer so stormed off down back, where I spend 30 minutes throwing cardboard around instead of compacting it. Then when I realized that I was supervising 3 others and hadn't told them what needed to be done, etc. I went out and tried to keep it calm. Failed about 20 minutes after that when a customer annoyed me. I ended up going out the back, having 2 smokes in a row, and threw rocks at the wall to calm me down. Struggled through that shift quite badly. Had a repeat today, too. But managed to gather myself quicker than yesterday, to where I was able to force myself to be nice and chatty to customers, but buried myself in closing the tills as soon as I could. Got home tonight and first thing I did was look for my blade, which has gone missing. Had a panic attack.

Joy...

talullah

Not posted in ages...not because i've been feeling better, i haven't, just couldn't be bothered with much. Stopped taking my meds..i know i know, but i was forgetting to take them and after a while i just thought eff it, why bother. yea i can honestly say i feel sh**.

Had a follow up appointment a couple weeks ago which i grinned and lied my way through, basically because i couldn't get out of the place quick enough....my usual doc was away so had an asian doc who i honestly could not understand a word of what he was saying, he knew nothing of my history and i basically wanted to just cry afterwards. He gave me my next follow up for 3months time...like wtf, i wont make it a month.

On the plus side CBT is going great with my OCD, have been working on things at home and have now started with my compulsions and rituals at work, which is pretty damn tough but baby steps...

And i now know for sure i have social anxiety aswel, my list just gets longer. Think once we've got my OCD under control, my CBT therapist is gonna help with that aswel. But maybe they'll get fed up of me before then, i would.

I miss feeling content, peaceful and motivated, those days are a very very distant memory...life is just all a lie, putting on a front to fool people into thinking you're ok when inside you just want to explode or just melt into the ground.

RubyXI

Guys, I really want out of the world right now. I've no-one to talk to and don't know what to do.

Chazz Michael Michaels

phi3 wrote: »

Guys, I really want out of the world right now. I've no-one to talk to and don't know what to do.

You know this feeling is temporary, phi. There is light at the end of this tunnel, there always is.

RubyXI

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

You know this feeling is temporary, phi. There is light at the end of this tunnel, there always is.

Until the next time. It keeps happening. It's not going to get better.

Totalelf

phi3 wrote: »

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

You know this feeling is temporary, phi. There is light at the end of this tunnel, there always is.

Until the next time. It keeps happening. It's not going to get better.

We are always here to talk to, Phi,
you are not alone! It will get better, I promise, just keep posting and try to get out for a short walk, a few mins out in the fresh air will do you a power of good ( now if only I could take my own advice!)
Keep chatting here, god bless.

ashblag

self harmed for the first time yesterday... a new one on me just desperate to feel something

girlonfire

ashblag wrote: »

self harmed for the first time yesterday... a new one on me just desperate to feel something

Ashblag, I'm so sorry you felt the need to harm yourself. It's a horrible place to be. I really hope you can find another way of dealing with what is going on, as this coping mechanism is so negative. You deserve so much more for yourself.x

As someone who started self-harming at 16, I'm all too aware of the vicious cycle you can get caught up in with it. I understand completely the relief it provides, but it's a temporary solution, causing way more problems in the long run. Ten years on, I still feel the urge to self harm when things are going badly. At the same time, I absolutely hate the scars I've left myself with.

Talk to someone. I know you're in such a lonely place. I've read your posts and I know how suffocating the feeling of nothingness can be. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. X

HalloweenJack

I have two questions for the folks on this thread.

I'm planning on going to an AWARE support group in the coming weeks when I get back to Ireland. I feel like I'm in a good place right now but because of my history, I'm all too aware that my mental state goes up and down, even since I've got over the worst of it. So, I'm trying to protect myself a bit by going to these.

Does anybody here have any experience of these groups and, if so, what is it like? I've been in group therapy before, is it something like that?

My second question is a bit trickier. One of my best friends has told me he is really depressed so I'm determined to support him and help him as much as I can. He told me he's been seeing a psychologist for a few months but doesn't really feel any better and is at the stage where he's feeling hopeless and told me that he doesn't want to live anymore but he isn't suicidal.

Mostly, I've told him about my experiences with depression and how I'm a different person now and that you can get better. I know exactly how he feels, it's identical to the feelings I had so I feel I'm in a good position to help but I'm not really sure how I can.

Again, does anyone have any suggestions about how I could help him?

Thanks. Hope everyone is doing well.

ashblag

girlonfire wrote: »

Ashblag, I'm so sorry you felt the need to harm yourself. It's a horrible place to be. I really hope you can find another way of dealing with what is going on, as this coping mechanism is so negative. You deserve so much more for yourself.x

As someone who started self-harming at 16, I'm all too aware of the vicious cycle you can get caught up in with it. I understand completely the relief it provides, but it's a temporary solution, causing way more problems in the long run. Ten years on, I still feel the urge to self harm when things are going badly. At the same time, I absolutely hate the scars I've left myself with.

Talk to someone. I know you're in such a lonely place. I've read your posts and I know how suffocating the feeling of nothingness can be. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. X

thank you x i have horrid burns now the pain of those are distracting my mind now i dont know what came over me just in that instant i done it.
im waiting on a phsc appoinment for over 3 weeks, wish it would hurry up

girlonfire

Do you have any idea how long you'll be waiting for the appointment? The waiting times infuriate me.
I understand that need to feel something...anything. It makes me sad that you (anyone, myself included) feels that they have to hurt themselves to feel/escape/express/distract, whatever it may be.
Have you taken care of the burns? Do you need to see a doctor? Please make sure you take care of them as best you can. You can pm me if you'd like to chat or if you feel the urge to self harm again.x
A few years ago, I never thought I'd get through and enjoy life again. Anytime someone told me I'd get through it, I always thought they were wrong and that I was different, that I wasn't going to make it, but luckily I have. Things will get better. It will take time, but all feelings are transitory and this will lift at some point for you.
Thinking of you,x