Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

jammstarr

IM0 wrote: »

my life is a big pile of ****

Im fairly sure I would trade with any of you guys and your problems, but with a catch..I get to be me in your shoes

It'd just be the same though, wouldn't it?

IM0

jammstarr wrote: »

It'd just be the same though, wouldn't it?

no, my depression is related to my illness and health and the life change Ive had to go through as a result. I was a bit meh about life before I got sick [MS] but the things which bugged me then are a non issue now really. I was a supremely fit athlete before I got sick. my life has been turned upside down as a result and cant believe Im still alive tbh

My life was all about sports, I dont think I can live without them, that and music, I was a musician too

I am now in a wheelchair at the moment, a powered one, I can walk for a few hundred metres at a time though, and do most things which matter in life [especially sex]. but the wheelchair comes with pre concieved notions for people and by people I mean girls. people see it and think he's paralysed, but then I just stand up and walk for a min or two :eek:

MS also comes with pre concieved notions too. I have relapsing remitting MS the 'good' kind so there is no destination with that type. you might get worse you might not, they dont know, everyone is different

it just sucks balls big time

I was a really disciplined athlete before so didnt do the whole drinking till all hours of the night thing. train - sleep, train sleep eat. I have not been built for this new type of life. I would train for hours on my bike no problem with no one to talk to. but now I go to pubs on my own and its a head wreck! Im just floating I dont know who the fcuk I am. Im not the guy I was and Im limited in any new interests I could take up also. so Im just floating. its like being dead which is why I went to the next step. overdose last w/end didnt work though obviously

Snoopy1

Feel like nothing is working for me at moment. Counsilling or anti depressants.
Spent yesterday in work crying.
So paranoid and worried about everything

girlonfire

Looks like lots of us are going through a s**** time at the moment.
If only there was some magic pill
IMO "Im not the guy I was and Im limited in any new interests I could take up also. so Im just floating. its like being dead which is why I went to the next step. overdose last w/end didnt work though obviously"
I'm so sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine it. I can't imagine the adjustment you've had to make to such a different lifestyle. Have you got people in your life to talk to or is there a support group you could go to? Is the music still a part of your life? I'm really sorry IMO

I've been feeling s**** myself. I really see nothing for myself in the future or at least nothing without this cloud looming over me.

Gillo

Sorry to hear everyone is having a crap time, hope things run their course a pick up.
Just a thought IMO, could you get into coaching with a local sports club or club you had been in, I know it wouldn't be the same however it may be an outlet and it will keep you involved in something you obviously love.

Following on from my older post, I decided to apply for the redundancy, my department aren't meant to be eligible for it so it's a long shot but thinking about it, long term I figure it will allow me to reach some goals I'd set.

stupidusername

I slept more than 12hours,and I still feel I need to sleep.
Still feeling ****. Will probably spend the day in bed

LegacyUser

I feel really tired today, does anyone else feel like they are constantly fighting with themselves? I constantly have the "I'm fat, ugly and **** at everything so what's the point" mantra going around in my head. I'm exhausted from trying to see some sort of positive light. My doctor said it's just a matter of thinking in a different way but it's so ****ing hard and the "cheer up, it might never happen" brigade aren't helping either. I'm just frustrated with the whole thing really.

jammstarr

jammstarr wrote: »

It'd just be the same though, wouldn't it?

IM0 wrote: »

no, my depression is related to my illness and health and the life change Ive had to go through as a result. I was a bit meh about life before I got sick [MS]

Apologies man, I hope my initial reply didn't come across as flippant.

Seren_

Two things I've put a lot of time and effort into this past year are finishing up in the next week, not looking forward to it. I really don't like change Filling my time with things helps take my mind of how I'm feeling (luckily), and I'm just worrying now about needing to find new things to do...

Ack, such an insignificant problem compared to other peoples >.<

ashblag

Feeling very very sh1tty and restless all day...like i've been having an 'out of body experience' that sounds stupid doesnt it. My heart is heavy....feelings are numb... finding hard to see any positives!!!!!!!

indough

i cant fake happy any more and i feel like offloading my stupid depressed thoughts on people is infecting them with it. makes me feel like i should just quarantine myself for a while or something although i know it will obviously make things worse for me in the short term.

IM0

indough wrote: »

i cant fake happy any more and i feel like offloading my stupid depressed thoughts on people is infecting them with it. makes me feel like i should just quarantine myself for a while or something although i know it will obviously make things worse for me in the short term.

then unload them here. isnt that what the thread is for

jammstarr

indough wrote: »

feel like i should just quarantine myself for a while or something although i know it will obviously make things worse for me in the short term.

I won't lie to you that's dangerous. I've done it myself and it only made things much worse in the long run.

starviewadams

I dont really care about anything anymore,I go to sleep around 3 or 4am,wake up at 8am,splash water on my face and go into work.Sit at my desk for 8 hours and then go home again.Sometimes if I'm feeling really down I'll go to the pub by myself and sit in the corner and get blackout drunk.That's my life in a nutshell really.

I've tried all the advice from various doctors/shrinks/counsellors etc and their advice only made things worse.This is my life now,it's not happy like my friends lifes or like you see on TV or in films,it just is what it is.

luckyfrank

Feck me man, happend to me again get my prescribtion and it's generic lexapro, ive noticed before that it's not as good as the brand and sure enough for the first time in 2 months this morning wide awake at 5am, total bull-sh/it ill never ever accept generic again feel tired for the first time in months it's a load of my boll/ox

Temaz

Doing quite well atm. Hang in there guys it does get better.

Snoopy1

sdfjlsdfj wrote: »

I feel really tired today, does anyone else feel like they are constantly fighting with themselves? I constantly have the "I'm fat, ugly and **** at everything so what's the point" mantra going around in my head. I'm exhausted from trying to see some sort of positive light. My doctor said it's just a matter of thinking in a different way but it's so ****ing hard and the "cheer up, it might never happen" brigade aren't helping either. I'm just frustrated with the whole thing really.

I'm feeling like that all the time. Today I can't bring myself to look in the mirror
I stopped counsilling for a bit, as I thought my problems were stupid and insignificant, but looks like I will have to start again

nesf

Temaz wrote: »

Doing quite well atm. Hang in there guys it does get better.

Ditto, out and about in the world again and loving it.

ashblag

invisable is what I should be...

girlonfire

Your Text Here wrote: »

Two things I've put a lot of time and effort into this past year are finishing up in the next week, not looking forward to it. I really don't like change Filling my time with things helps take my mind of how I'm feeling (luckily), and I'm just worrying now about needing to find new things to do...

Ack, such an insignificant problem compared to other peoples >.<

Not remotely insignificant when these things have added to and helped maintain your lifestyle. Change is a hard one, but so long as you've got a plan/support system in place, it'll be much smoother. We're all here too:)

girlonfire

ashblag wrote: »

invisable is what I should be...

How are you ashblag? Still feeling pretty low?X

thrilledskinny

I'm tired of having depression and the effect it has on my life and
my relationship !!!

I dont even know if i'm depressed any more or if its all in my head !!!

Temaz

nesf wrote: »

Ditto, out and about in the world again and loving it.

Nice one!

Aoifums

Sorry for not posting for absolutely ages. Just been feeling that it's pointless since no one cares what I have to say and there's no chance of me helping anyone either, so it's a double whammy.
Mood has been terrible lately, I've had to deal with pretty much every negative emotion in the last couple of days. I'm on meds now (Lustral) but they're not doing a thing. I've a Doc appointment (not psych, but she's controlling my meds. Messy situation there) in a while, so I guess I'm just killing time until then.
I can't fake happy at the moment. I was staring at myself in the mirror in the bathroom earlier and my eyes look dead It's really weird. I can't even gather the energy to fake a smile or anything but this creepish blank face.

Gremlinertia

thrilledskinny wrote: »

I dont even know if i'm depressed any more or if its all in my head !!!

Snap, i wonder if it's now a habit sometimes. I know it isn't when i'm being logical but when i'm paranoid i think i've somehow trapped myself into my mental and physical ailments.

Gremlinertia

Aoifums wrote: »

Sorry for not posting for absolutely ages. Just been feeling that it's pointless since no one cares what I have to say and there's no chance of me helping anyone either, so it's a double whammy.
Mood has been terrible lately, I've had to deal with pretty much every negative emotion in the last couple of days. I'm on meds now (Lustral) but they're not doing a thing. I've a Doc appointment (not psych, but she's controlling my meds. Messy situation there) in a while, so I guess I'm just killing time until then.
I can't fake happy at the moment. I was staring at myself in the mirror in the bathroom earlier and my eyes look dead It's really weird. I can't even gather the energy to fake a smile or anything but this creepish blank face.

I hear that. I keep second guessing everything i do, asking if i'm faking to keep the peace/please others or was it genuine.

luckyfrank

Anyone who thinks generic AD's are the same as brand may want to think again read

http://emergentfool.com/2009/12/23/the-truth-about-generic-drugs/

im proof that generic isnt the same and now i have to feel like shi/te for 2 weeks until i get my refill and demand brand :mad:

How so Joe

I dealt with this crap for years and I thought I was finally over it and moving on with my life. No more depression, no more cutting, no more stupid thoughts.

But no, over the last couple of weeks it's just gotten worse and worse to the point where I'm as bad now as I ever was.
Went back to the doctor today as I finally admitted to myself that I need help. Especially with exams coming up, I'm back on the meds, so here's hoping that levels things out.

I can't deal with this any more, I don't want to be the person that it makes me.

banquo

Long time lurker here, first time poster. Have had GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) for a few months now, mostly stress induced. After a few hospital visits where I was convinced I was having a stroke / heart attack / the usual, and a few doctor's visits, they eventually prescribed me with Xanax. Which I refused to take, hating the idea of medicating for it.

Which resulted in me falling down (a-la Tony Soprano) more times than is publicly acceptable. So on the doctor's most stern advice I took Xanax for a week to relieve the physical symptoms. That was about 6 weeks ago, haven't touched one since as I hear they're really addictive. I have some put by in case of emergency.

I've learned to control the physical symptoms now - heartbeat, breathing, tingling, nausea, uncontrollable temper, all these things - but the one thing that remains a challenge are the mental symptoms: the absolute fear. That feeling of loss of control, like you've taken a hallucinogenic drug, that you can't trust your surroundings, and the feeling of absolute terror. Anyone who has this will know what I mean; anyone who doesn't won't have a clue.

I'm at the stage now thankfully that most people around me won't notice it's happening, even people I know very well, unless I'm having a particularly bad turn.

But the 'fear' is what gets me. It's the only thing that in any way inhibits my day to day actions. Sometimes I hear something and think, ''Did I really hear that?" Do people really live like this? People actually get through the day feeling like this their whole lives?

Edit: It feels fantastic to finally post here!

stupidusername

I've an issue to bring up with my housemate, well moreso i've to ask him what his issue is with me. and i've been worried about it all evening. i haven't done it. i think about getting up to go do it and I get very nervous. I forgot what this feeling was like, because i've been so long avoiding things that make me nervous.

does anyone have any advice for talking to him? I mean, I suppose I'm looking for people to say i'm right, and I should bring it up, and he's unlikely to shout at me, whatever happens we're still both adults living here equally, and i shouldn't be uncomfortable, it's my apartment too.