Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

jammstarr

cloud493 wrote: »

Wish I could stop these ****ing... episodes... I don't know what the **** to call them. Feeling so low you feel like your going to be swallowed by the despair. ****ing hell.

Been there my friend and am always worried that they'll return. Has anything triggered them for you or are they just occurring out of the blue?

cloud493

Aoifums wrote: »

Sorry for double posting but someone on facebook is after pointing out tomorrow is Self Injury Awareness Day and asking everyone to wear orange for it. Fine until she put up something trigger warning

saying "your scars are beautiful"

Just no Warning up just in case it triggers anyone else. I don't want to know why...

If only they were got too many to do that **** anyway. And no not really. Just a bad paticularly bad low episode.

talullah

Gggrrrrrrrrr...had a nice 'normal' day, brought my bro for a drive, had a good laugh, all in all a good day.......until this evening, nothing particular happened, my mood just completely flipped and am now sitting here trying to distract myself from getting the blade.

I wish it would just stop, why cant i just rip these stupid thoughts out of my head, i can hear myself in there being kicked and punched down by the evilness that's taken over...it just wont get out of my head.

And i'm so sick of all the bloody paranoia, o/h unwaringly added to it by telling me about something he read (i'll not mention it) lets just say i've deleted anything to do with the program of my laptop and phone but i'm still afraid.....aarrrrrrrgggghhhhhh.

cloud493

Hurting wouldn't be so bad, except I never know when to stop. I've been doing it so much, since I was 11, that by now I need to go deep and go over board to have it feel at all

stupidusername

I was about to say I had an alright day up until a few minutes ago, but the reality is i've spent the whole day waiting. it's just not good for me. i don't want to spend my time waiting to talk to someone, waiting to feel that interest. and the thing that happened, well that's just more of it. my first relationship I was the one that did the chasing and I hated it. it's not me, it makes me so anxious all the time, I can't stand it.

cloud493

stupidusername wrote: »

I was about to say I had an alright day up until a few minutes ago, but the reality is i've spent the whole day waiting. it's just not good for me. i don't want to spend my time waiting to talk to someone, waiting to feel that interest. and the thing that happened, well that's just more of it. my first relationship I was the one that did the chasing and I hated it. it's not me, it makes me so anxious all the time, I can't stand it.

If your not... feeling the interest, the desire to wait, are you sure its the right relationship for you?

stupidusername

cloud493 wrote: »

If your not... feeling the interest, the desire to wait, are you sure its the right relationship for you?

I don't know. right now i'm thinking it's not. but this is the problem, I can't ever make these decisions. i think it's worse because i don't have a job and so just am waiting around anyway. when i'm with him i feel like he's interested and it's good. but the inbetweens... i just can't handle being this anxious all the time. it makes me analyse every little detail. and like now I end up in tears because of a small thing. i'm worrying about what it means in the bigger scheme of things. i needed to get to sleep earlier tonight, and now it looks like I won't get to

Aoifums

Aoifums wrote: »

Sorry for double posting but someone on facebook is after pointing out tomorrow is Self Injury Awareness Day and asking everyone to wear orange for it. Fine until she put up something [SIZE="3"]trigger warning[/SIZE]

saying "your scars are beautiful"

Just no Warning up just in case it triggers anyone else. I don't want to know why...

She's after putting up another one. It's even worse. Oh for fvcks sake Why would anyone put up two triggering pictures where 400 people can see them >_<

Gillo

Aoifums wrote: »

Aoifums wrote: »

Sorry for double posting but someone on facebook is after pointing out tomorrow is Self Injury Awareness Day and asking everyone to wear orange for it. Fine until she put up something [SIZE="3"]trigger warning[/SIZE]

saying "your scars are beautiful"

Just no Warning up just in case it triggers anyone else. I don't want to know why...

She's after putting up another one. It's even worse. Oh for fvcks sake Why would anyone put up two triggering pictures where 400 people can see them >_<

Why not block her for a few days? Help to remove the triggers.
Can't sleep, awful feeling of dread/ fear.

cloud493

Aoifums wrote: »

She's after putting up another one. It's even worse. Oh for fvcks sake Why would anyone put up two triggering pictures where 400 people can see them >_<

Are you allowed to put triggering pictures on facebook?

@stupidusername - If he doesn't take the time to see you, and makes you wait, and this anxious, maybe he isn't right for you?

I'm not going to make it through the night without hurting. I feel like im going to throw up, shaking all over. just have to be careful, no A&E, nowhere near bad enough.

stupidusername

He does meet me.he's working during the week.i just dont hear from him all day,and I want to.but I shouldn't need to.i want to not need it.i don't know that it's anything to do with him,it's so early on I can hardly expect him to care that much

cloud493

He should though. If he's that interested, he'll make the time for you. You seem worth it, to me so you should to him as well.

stupidusername

Well maybe he's not interested so.though he'll say he is. This stuff drives me crazy. It's too confusing. I don't know if what i'm asking is unreasonable

cloud493

If your 'in' a relationship with this bloke, and he's not making the time to see you, or any of that, then no, its not unreasonable. Thats just him, either not caring enough, or its a power show.

stupidusername

Power show?
We do see each other,it's just when he's working I don't hear from him all day.and because of my self esteem problems my anxiety builds up.but thats my problem.aren't people usually busy at work like

cloud493

Making you wait, cos you want to see him more than him you, power show. Who wears the trousers, so to speak.

stupidusername

Ah right.no I don't think so.

I think I can take it that he's just not that interested.

Temaz

No sleep at all:mad:

Captain Graphite

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I'm more depressed than not on my anti depressants. But I do find I'm more able to do basic things on them.

As my doctor said they're not "magic happy pills" and they don't wipe out the range of human emotions, so you're still going to get sad, just hopefully not as chronically depressed as before.

I find that if I remember to take mine every morning I'm usually ok. But if I miss even a few doses I start feeling really bad again.

At the moment I'm on Efexor 75mg (was on 150mg before but doctor lowered it. Was on Lexapro before that). I reckon my GP will want to lower it next time I see her and then try wean me off them but I'm really worried about that. It feels like I depend on them now.

I'm feeling basically ok at the moment. Not particularly upbeat but not too down either. Mind is still wandering though; I can spend hours just lying down in bed, thoughts split between regretting/mourning the past and being terrified of the future. I get a second chance to make an impression in academia when I start my MAsters in September. I cannot let myself screw up again! If I do.....well I'm pretty much finished.

Aoifums

Gillo wrote: »

Why not block her for a few days? Help to remove the triggers.
Can't sleep, awful feeling of dread/ fear.

That's the most logical thing to do. I don't know why I didn't think of that.

cloud493 wrote:

Are you allowed to put triggering pictures on facebook?

Presumably not but most people aren't going to see it and think about how it could be a trigger. Or maybe it's just me that it sets off

cloud493

Aoifums wrote: »

That's the most logical thing to do. I don't know why I didn't think of that.



Presumably not but most people aren't going to see it and think about how it could be a trigger. Or maybe it's just me that it sets off

Are you ok now? Did you do anything?

Aoifums

cloud493 wrote: »

Are you ok now? Did you do anything?

I'm better than last night anyway. And yeah Shouldn't have but I knew it was coming. Nothing serious though.

cloud493

Aoifums wrote: »

I'm better than last night anyway. And yeah Shouldn't have but I knew it was coming. Nothing serious though.

Thats ok pick yourself and keep on going, and all that.

Temaz

Definite feeling of having this right now, have been diagnosed with it in the past.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

nesf

Temaz wrote: »

Definite feeling of having this right now, have been diagnosed with it in the past.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

I really hate it when that happens.

Temaz

nesf wrote: »

I really hate it when that happens.

Im feeling a mild euphoria with it which is strange.

nesf

Temaz wrote: »

Im feeling a mild euphoria with it which is strange.

I've never got that with it.

Temaz

nesf wrote: »

I've never got that with it.

Could be the extra dose of Lyrica I took earlier. Wonderful drug, really helps my headaches and keeps me calm-ish!!

Gremlinertia

So, today was the big day, went to the hospital, found the mental health OPD, went to reception window and dropped in letter. Queue three receptionist (?) types looking at my referral letter and appointment diary. So. No app for me, come back in two weeks. And for some reason i'm a total wreck after it all. Argh. :mad:

cloud493

Didnt actually see anyone wearing orange today, self harm awareness :rolleyes: