Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

neemish

I'm 32. Sometimes feel a lot younger than that though. My twenties went by in a blur, to be honest so did my teens. Feel like my whole life has been defined by my being unwell.

talullah

neemish wrote: »

I'm 32. Sometimes feel a lot younger than that though. My twenties went by in a blur, to be honest so did my teens. Feel like my whole life has been defined by my being unwell.

Exactly how i feel.

Call Me Jimmy

I'm in a bad way myself. Body Dismorphic Disorder is what they say I have but I just can't believe it. How can my eyes, that see everything with such precision be distorting what I see?

I'm coming down from a time during my exams with so little time to sleep that I thought it was all behind me and I was thinking 'now it might be late, but my life can start again', only 3 or 4 weeks later and even though I've worked hard all day every day psychologically, mirror work, everything, I've got that feeling that I'm going back...

Been in bed for past two days now and I haven't done that in weeks (which is a big deal for me) but any mirror/reflective surface no matter how much I try to relax and look at it without fear, my whole body is literally seizing up when I see myself, if I let it go on like this I'm in trouble.

Was watching Vanilla Sky and that bit where Tom Cruise turns on the light and sees his deformed face is how I feel when I see a mirror. Sounds like a wild exaggeration but it's true.

The worst part is when I see the monster I don't even want to get better, I just think "I'd rather be a complete loser than some wierd looking thing attempting life"... so I'm stuck in a place where I'm waiting for my appearance to improve... ridiculous

jammstarr

neemish wrote: »

Feel like my whole life has been defined by my being unwell.

I got really bad a few days after I turned 18. Between then and 26 there's an awful amount of living to do of which I've missed out on.

cloud493

I spent most of years from 11 to now being abused, smacked around, or running. Sad really, but there we are. Bad for morale to think like that.

Gillo

neemish wrote: »

My twenties went by in a blur, to be honest so did my teens. Feel like my whole life has been defined by my being unwell.

My early to mid twenties are like that, fly by the annoying thing is I things have only slowed down the last few years since I got ill. At this stage it just feels like e dry thing has stopped and I am just existing, like a child toys that's been thrown aside and forgotten about (no idea where that comparrision came from but it seems to make sense).

midlandsmissus

cloud493 wrote: »

I spent most of years from 11 to now being abused, smacked around, or running. Sad really, but there we are. Bad for morale to think like that.

Not bad for morale to talk about it . And I think it's really interesting in understanding depression. I.e. is it an illness or reaction to circumstance? I had a grim childhood aswell, so obviously yourself and myself would be more prone to depression than some-one from a well adjusted family.

I think it's interesting to figure out in order to understand how to cure it. We can't change past circumstances, but we can realise it doesn't have to define our whole life.

jammstarr

It's like trying to climb out from under a collapsed building at times.

Captain Graphite

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Im very bad today. What age is everyone on here?

22 but feel more like 18.
When I was 18 I still felt like I was 15.
When I was 15 I still felt like I was 12.
I've always felt and acted younger than I am. Not sure why.

Feeling a little better today. Tired but functional.

nesf

Bad day, worse night.

talullah

Went to bed with a splitting headache last night, but once i got to sleep i didnt wake up till o/h was going to work this morn. Makes a change, usually wake up several times a night.

Although in saying that, i don't really feel any better for, still feel like just sitting here all day doing nothing.

Gillo

Bad day, stupid back processed a payment for my credit card twice! On the way into town now to sort it out, gonna be a nightmare.
On the up side, I'm picking my daughter up for a few days later today so looking forward to that.

Temaz

Had a good night's rest so feeling better, it's my birthday Friday, dreading it!!

Gillo

Temaz wrote: »

Had a good night's rest so feeling better, it's my birthday Friday, dreading it!!

Happy Birthday!

Agh, stupid banks!! Having awful trouble with them but in a way it's good as even though I hate dealing with them, it's something to get my teeth into and concentrate on.

Temaz

Gillo wrote: »

Happy Birthday!
.

Not 'til Friday but cheers anyway! Have a good day!

Captain Graphite

Had quite a good day today, which is nice. Here's hoping it will hold up.

*hugs* to all of you feeling down right now.

jammstarr

Captain Graphite wrote: »

*hugs* to all of you feeling down right now.

Too kind

Aoifums

Got into a conversation about SH this morning that made me look like a bitch. It was with the one person who knows in real life and he seems to have forgotten I told him what I did before I started cutting and he flipped out both times then. I haven't said a word in ages so either he thinks I've stopped or has just forgotten. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like such a hypocrite after that.

cmj2

Hi, New to this forum. Just wondering if anyone could tell me if it is normal to have depressive episodes while on anti-depressants. I have been on lexapro 20mg since December. They started to work after a couple of weeks and I felt better than I had in years. Tbh I had forgotten what normal felt like, but in last couple of weeks I have felt a slide downwards. Not as bad as before I went on them, but definitely not as good as I was. Is this expected on anti-depressants? Thanks.

nesf

cmj2 wrote: »

Hi, New to this forum. Just wondering if anyone could tell me if it is normal to have depressive episodes while on anti-depressants. I have been on lexapro 20mg since December. They started to work after a couple of weeks and I felt better than I had in years. Tbh I had forgotten what normal felt like, but in last couple of weeks I have felt a slide downwards. Not as bad as before I went on them, but definitely not as good as I was. Is this expected on anti-depressants? Thanks.

It's possible to get depressed on antidepressants, yes. Just talk to your doctor about it. Welcome by the way.

cmj2

Thanks very much, that's reassuring strangely enough. Will talk to gp. Glad I came across this forum, cheers!

flyswatter

cmj2 wrote: »

Hi, New to this forum. Just wondering if anyone could tell me if it is normal to have depressive episodes while on anti-depressants. I have been on lexapro 20mg since December. They started to work after a couple of weeks and I felt better than I had in years. Tbh I had forgotten what normal felt like, but in last couple of weeks I have felt a slide downwards. Not as bad as before I went on them, but definitely not as good as I was. Is this expected on anti-depressants? Thanks.

Its the lull after the initial boost and it's a sign that you may need a higher dose, so I would talk to your doctor about it.

Gillo

If you're just starting as someone else said you would have found an initial boost. If you are concerned talk to the GP, although if it was myself I'd give it a few weeks and see how I level out.

We can't can't give actual medical advice here for good reasons. You'll also find different medications can work better or worse for different people.

midlandsmissus

I'm more depressed than not on my anti depressants. But I do find I'm more able to do basic things on them.

As my doctor said they're not "magic happy pills" and they don't wipe out the range of human emotions, so you're still going to get sad, just hopefully not as chronically depressed as before.

cloud493

Wish I could stop these ****ing... episodes... I don't know what the **** to call them. Feeling so low you feel like your going to be swallowed by the despair. ****ing hell.

HalloweenJack

Princess Peach wrote: »

Never done group sessions before so don't know how I'll fare at that.

My experience of group therapy was really good.

It was for social anxiety and depression so it was really hard to unwind at first but once it got going it was great. Probably the best thing was that you really realise that you're not the only one with these types of problems (I know I felt like that a lot of the time) and that helps you open up.

I cannot recommend it enough.

midlandmissus wrote:

What age is everyone on here?

I'm 23 now, depression hit me like a wrecking ball when I was about 22. Before that, I definitely had some low-lying depression for about three or four years, maybe more, bubbling under the surface, it just felt like everything finally began unravelling around that time and what was really going on, what I'd been refusing to acknowledge or address, all came out.

cmj2

Thanks very much folks all the comments have made it much clearer for me. I had a difficult experience when I first got severely depressed and ended up in a psychiatric unit for 6 months and undergoing a course of ect. I found the whole experience horrific and ever since I have weathered through the difficult patches on my own and avoided doctors etc as I terrified of ending up in a similar situation again. However this time I knew that I couldn't manage on my own so ended up going to gp for first time in years so I'm sort of unfamiliar with all new medications etc. Thanks for all your advice.

Kaching

cloud493 wrote: »

Wish I could stop these ****ing... episodes... I don't know what the **** to call them. Feeling so low you feel like your going to be swallowed by the despair. ****ing hell.

Im all too familiar with that -hug-

Aoifums

cloud493 wrote: »

Wish I could stop these ****ing... episodes... I don't know what the **** to call them. Feeling so low you feel like your going to be swallowed by the despair. ****ing hell.

I know it all too well too

Aoifums

Sorry for double posting but someone on facebook is after pointing out tomorrow is Self Injury Awareness Day and asking everyone to wear orange for it. Fine until she put up something trigger warning

saying "your scars are beautiful"

Just no Warning up just in case it triggers anyone else. I don't want to know why...