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Right.. can I get a ride out of this?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭pretty-in-pink


    brummytom wrote: »
    Fuck




    Whenever I'm witty or charming people just think I'm queer.. that might not be the best approach

    Might work..."You know, I thought I was gay,but spending time with you has made me realise I'm not" or some such BS.

    Funniest line I ever heard was "nice shoes............wanna fcuk?"
    Apparently it has a 50% success rate. More then you have now ;)
    lay it on the line

    say 'dont let this lovely night turn into a rape'
    thats hilarious. I love it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL



    OMG OMG OMG i got thanked by a Mod...

    *comes.... everywhere*


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Phone her a week or so before (when is it?) and tell her you really like her and find yourself thinking about her a lot.
    It's ages away, but everyone's going mental about it now so I'm caught up in it. 8th July.. exactly a week after her birthday, ooh I can call to wish her happy birthday
    Tell her that whenever your out having a laugh or at the cinema you find yourself wishing she was there.
    Yeah, that's true. I've spent a bloody fortune texting her!

    Tell her that you you've been thinking about the prom and that you'd like it to be a special night for both of you and you'd wish she finish with her boyfriend maybe. Don't push it but just suggest that that would be the ideal as you like not to feel guilty for being affectionate with her.
    I think Abi was right earlier.. sit it out. I think they'll probably split up, but who knows. I hate liking girls who've got boyfriends :(
    Failing that, buy some Eternity after shave - knocks 'em bandy ;)
    I've honestly never heard of that :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer




    Have this on your MP3 and listen to it 24/7 until the prom. Then qoute back the lyrics to the girl,women looooooove that kinda thing Tom,they really do.

    And also have a belt and make sure your topless and sweaty.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    brummytom wrote: »
    It's ages away, but everyone's going mental about it now so I'm caught up in it. 8th July.. exactly a week after her birthday, ooh I can call to wish her happy birthday

    Oh, I thought it was quite soon.

    Plenty of time so.

    Do no harm to talk about girls you have a crush on. Nothing makes a guy more attractive to a girl than the fear of some competition.

    Maybe not yet, but a few weeks before a little talk of how you like some girl or other will get her fires burning.
    brummytom wrote: »
    I've honestly never heard of that :eek:

    In 1994 there was a survey done on a 100 girls and it came out on top as the After Shave that turned women on the most and ever since that day it has been OutlawPete's scent :p


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,343 ✭✭✭Dull and Boring


    Tbh, i think you're just trying to feel her up before you feel up the doorknob on the way out of a certain closet....:rolleyes:

    Holla if I'm wrong!

    If I am wrong then you got some serious issues dude! Cos no woman is going to go for you with a 'tude like that!

    If I'm not wrong, maybe you should stop trying to get rid of the boyfriend and maybe just get rid of her and keep him! He sounds like a good catch! And things are already going downhill for them two anyway so I'd say you have a shot!

    You're welcome for the great advice. No need to thank me.

    (Dang I should have been an agony aunt cos I got this advice sh*t down!)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    Tbh, i think you're just trying to feel her up before you feel up the doorknob on the way out of a certain closet....:rolleyes:

    Holla if I'm wrong!

    If I am wrong then you got some serious issues dude! Cos no woman is going to go for you with a 'tude like that!

    If I'm not wrong, maybe you should stop trying to get rid of the boyfriend and maybe just get rid of her and keep him! He sounds like a good catch! And things are already going downhill for them two anyway so I'd say you have a shot!

    You're welcome for the great advice. No need to thank me.

    (Dang I should have been an agony aunt cos I got this advice sh*t down!)

    You're Dull and Boring.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,343 ✭✭✭Dull and Boring


    TheZohan wrote: »
    You're Dull and Boring.

    That's what they call me!:D You make me smile!:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Tell her you finally got pubic hair...chicks digg that at ur age:P


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    Tell her that you are a mod on boards.ie. They love that. It just oozes sexiness.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    Just be the perfect gentleman and hope she drops the hand at the end of the night

    /fatherly advice


  • Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Overheal wrote: »
    I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do

    You love Orange Soda ?????:confused:


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    Tbh, i think you're just trying to feel her up before you feel up the doorknob on the way out of a certain closet....:rolleyes:

    Holla if I'm wrong!

    If I am wrong then you got some serious issues dude! Cos no woman is going to go for you with a 'tude like that!

    If I'm not wrong, maybe you should stop trying to get rid of the boyfriend and maybe just get rid of her and keep him! He sounds like a good catch! And things are already going downhill for them two anyway so I'd say you have a shot!

    You're welcome for the great advice. No need to thank me.

    (Dang I should have been an agony aunt cos I got this advice sh*t down!)


    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    OutlawPete wrote: »
    Failing that, buy some Eternity after shave - knocks 'em bandy ;)


    YES YES YES YES YES. Petey you beatiful genius! Tommy it'll work ;)

    P.s. TheZohan - My vocabulary isn't vast enough to say how much I love it when you're on form like you've been in this thread :D Almost brings a tear to my eye, almost :P

    And whoever it was that said Tommy is being scummy wanting to ride this girl (can't be bothered checking back)

    1. It takes 2 to tango - plus she'll be sober when it happens.
    2. Her bf is a díck - Tommy has every right to her
    3. He genuinely likes her - me thinks he wont go the whole nine yards and give her the whole take it slow speech and she'll be smitten
    4. Tommy will then have gf.
    5. The girl will then have a proper bf.


    Win Win for both in my opinion, so what if her douche of a soon-to-be-ex boyf is left crying to mammy.

    Go for it if you feel it's worth it. Sure if you don't you'll only regret it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all


    show her this, it'd work on me, you little sexpot :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    brummytom wrote: »
    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Holy sh1t,that was deep!

    Tell her that and you'll be sorted;) Not taking the piss like:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭LD 50


    brummytom wrote: »
    I know AH can help.

    There's this girl. There's a prom. There's me, who likes her. She has a boyfriend, but he doesn't go to our school so he's not allowed to the prom. There's a big palava with all my mates hating her, but this is basically the summary.

    She wants to get the limo with me; me and her have got pretty close recently. My mates aren't cock-blocks, so they agreed to let her come, despite hating her with a passion. But riding in a car with her isn't enough...

    I need some ingenius ways to get my end in. Preferably without the use of rohypnol - I'm not made of money.

    Alcohol. Cheap alcohol and lots of it. Between that and the limo, you'll have her rimming you in no time.

    EDIT: Another classic from brummytom


  • Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all

    Tom.

    You do realise you posted this in After Hours? o_O


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all
    If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY rips you for what you just posted there then frankly they have no heart and are a complete idiot!

    Well said. Take it easy and sleep well. If you genuinely feel for her then let her know before it eats you up. Fair does to you for posting that, fair fúcking does Brummy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    brummytom wrote: »
    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    Well said Brum.

    **** the begrudgers.

    Be yourself to the max.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Crisp 'n' dry is your friend, some words of wisdom for you, sonny!


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,343 ✭✭✭Dull and Boring


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all

    That's good to hear cos tbh you come across very badly on this. If you really like her for God's sake just tell her! She might have been playing hard to get by not ringing back that night. Us girls are kinda crazy like that! Good luck!
    P.S. Relieved to hear you're not a "teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest". That's never a quality girls look for!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all

    Tl;Dr

    Tom has teh ghey:pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    brummytom wrote: »
    You know what? I can't be arsed with this. Me on boards just isn't me. Most of the time I'm the same on here as I am in real life.

    But I'm not some kind of teenage hormonal sex-hungry pest. In fact, out of my mates, I'm the least interested in it. This is just some strange persona I've became here.

    I'm not gay; you can call me it, I really won't mind. I know I'm not because I really, really like this girl. One night, just before Christmas, she was really upset. She texted me said "Can I ring you in a bit? I need someone to talk to" I said of course she could.

    I had that phone next to me all night waiting for her to ring, when it got really late, my heart just sank. She'd fell asleep! Thats when I realised. OK, that might sound a bit pathetic but I really don't care. I know I'll regret this in the morning anyway.

    I started the thread for a laugh, and it's taught me something now. I don't care about her for that, I care about her for her.

    Fuck it, if I wasn't so addicted to boards I'd leave now because I'm gonna get it ripped out of me now, I know it - but I don't care. I'm a mature, decent person. That really doesn't come across here at the moment, it really should. I'm bored of playing up to a character.

    And 'Dull and Boring' you better be a Black American. If you're not, talk properly.

    I need to be up in just over 5 hours, bloody hell. G'night all

    You know, I really, really dislike your boards persona. Honestly, it annoys the crap out of me. But this made me smile-- not because you're pissed off, but because it's nice to see someone being genuine and not concentrating on putting up some kind of farce.

    Show her that. Not some silly hairbrained scheme concocted by some people from the internet.

    Why not just be like that all the time? Why have to have this fake self up all the time? You're much more likeable when you're being you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    I'm definitely gonna use that post against you in future Brummy.. maybe the day after you get your hole =p

    the ultimate anti-climax


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Tom.

    You do realise you posted this in After Hours? o_O

    We're changing the AH mandate bit by bit ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Ah, I read the vast majority of Tom's posts as tongue-in-cheek. Seems a nice wee dude. :)

    ... if scarily precocious for a lad not much more than half my age :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,494 ✭✭✭citizen_p


    brummytom wrote: »
    She doesn't drink, which is an annoyance
    theres your problem right there.

    give her a drink and dont tell her its alchol. somthing mild....
    like sambuca or vodka...or be mad and go straight on to the petrol.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Dudess wrote: »
    Ah, I read the vast majority of Tom's posts as tongue-in-cheek. Seems a nice wee dude. :)

    Same here,I tend to separate a persons persona with their internet one. Tis very hard to get someone who is an honest representation of themselves in real-life,especially in AH tbh!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Have any of you thought that chick is in the wrong relationship, and like her guy is like cheating on her.. and well she needs a guy to put it all right?? It happens, oh yeah. It happens!! Go get her Tom, AH backs this love!

    *claps hands*


    /beats her ex up down dark side-street



    Thats right.. maybe its her fault..


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