When did it become ok to joke about rape?

Piste

Do flippant comments using the word" murder" lightly contribute to murder?

Boston

I've made humorous references to rape in the past now that I think on it, but they were appropriate at the time. The first time I heard "There's nothing funny about rape... unless you're raping a clown", I found it hilarious. Or maybe it wasn't and maybe I fuked up completely, who knows. I forget the exact saying now but it goes something like humour "is having a sense of the right time and the right place", but it's something like. Let 9 out of ten things like this in life slide otherwise you'll be a very angry bitter person.

speedboatchase

Boston wrote: »

I've made humorous references to rape in the past now that I think on it, but they were appropriate at the time. The first time I heard "There's nothing funny about rape... unless you're raping a clown", I found it hilarious. Or maybe it wasn't and maybe I fuked up completely, who knows. I forget the exact saying now but it goes something like humour "is having a sense of the right time and the right place", but it's something like. Let 9 out of ten things like this in life slide otherwise you'll be a very angry bitter person.

Lol that clown joke made me laugh

Boston

Jesus wept. I see you missed or failed to comprehend the time and place part.

Nevyn

Which is pretty much the point of the thread really, hyperbolic and witty/funny references about rape shouldn't be made in the work place, which is the post which kicked this thread off, the remarks were made in the work place, nor should they be in general public.

Blacey

Piste wrote: »

Do flippant comments using the word" murder" lightly contribute to murder?

If you extend the logic of the rape culture argument, then maybe it does. However, it's not the point right now.
Here is a link to help you understand my point

Silverfish

Silverfish wrote: »

Just in your opinion, how soon after an attack would you say a victim should be laughing or making jokes about it? Would it be before or after she reported it? Do you think it would affect whether she was taken seriously by the guards or in a courtroom? Would you say it would send a message to other people that hey, she was raped and seems to be grand about it, sure rapes not that bad?

It's not that I don't see where you're coming from, but I am quite curious as to how you're so sure that it won't have any negative effect whatsoever.

I think it's far more admirable after something bad has happened to you to be able to stare it right in the face and show it how much it hasn't affected you. It's a hard thing to do. But if you're going to regain any sort of strength or independence it's something one has to do

I'm socially retarded to the point where I'm almost Autistic. The vast majority of people don't understand what this situation is like; most people think I'm stupid and some people tease me. It used to really bother me to the point where I thoroughly hated myself. But as I got older I realized that my attitude wasn't getting me anywhere. I couldn't expect normal people to understand where I was coming from any more than I could understand them. I gradually noticed that most of the taunting wasn't an attack on me and that that sort of behaviour helps people to deal with things that are strange and obscure to them. It's the same with rape jokes; such things reduce rape to something completely insane - outside of society. Whereas treating it as taboo just makes it seem like the Forbidden Fruit

Nevyn

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2009/10/19/rape-culture-101/

Rape culture is encouraging male sexual aggression. Rape culture is regarding violence as sexy and sexuality as violent. Rape culture is treating rape as a compliment, as the unbridled passion stirred in a healthy man by a beautiful woman, making irresistible the urge to rip open her bodice or slam her against a wall, or a wrought-iron fence, or a car hood, or pull her by her hair, or shove her onto a bed, or any one of a million other images of fight-****ing in movies and television shows and on the covers of romance novels that convey violent urges are inextricably linked with (straight) sexuality.

Deleted User wrote: »

It's the same with rape jokes; such things reduce rape to something completely insane - outside of society.

They don't, we have gotten to a stage were I have heard a young lad say to a girl
"I'd rape ya" and for her to take it as a compliment. They twist and distort what rape is.

Deleted User wrote: »

Whereas treating it as taboo just makes it seem like the Forbidden Fruit

Rape should not be as taboo, but due to how painful it is to talk about and how judgmental people are in this country with the attitude that women some how "ask" for coupled with how most people have no concept of sexual consent, women do not openly discuss having been raped or sexually assaulted.

Contessa Raven

"If anything, it belittles the seriousness of the crime and perhaps only isolates the victims, making them feel that they are blowing things outta proportion."

This.

As a person who has been the victim of sexual assault, I find these "jokes" disgusting and insensitive. I have called people up on this in the past and have been laughed at and told "Relax! It's just a joke." Even after I have explained to these people my reasons for not finding them appropriate or funny.

It does make me feel like I am blowing things out of proportion even though I know I'm not.

IMO people throw the word around far too lightly.

And as for tact, it is unbelievable the amount of people I have met who have absolutely no sense of it.

Fink Goddie

It'll get to the stage were you cant make a joke about anything, murder, rape, disability, gender, race. The world is getting ridiculously pc, for example the christmas cards with 'santa comes to all children, even ginger ones' on them were taken off the shelves in Tescos because offended ginger people were offended.

Fanny Wank

Jessibelle wrote: »

I may be reacting in an over-sensitive manner to this, so thought I'd throw it out to boardsies for opinions, but when did it become ok to joke about rape?
I've noticed recently, particularly with people I work with that would say be maybe 5-6 years younger than me, that they'd say something jokingly like 'God, she was so hot I could have raped her there and then' or 'If I was left alone with him i would have raped him'
Now it bothers me, and enough so that I've said it a few times that I'd rather they didn't joke like that around me, and if it occurs, usually I just leave or ignore it, but tbh, I can't see the humour in it at all. Am I just being an old fuddy at 29?

Have you ever seen "The Accused"?

Fighting Irish

I will laugh at pretty much anything.

What do the PC heads think about laughing at prison rape jokes?

Snowie

Fighting Irish wrote: »

I will laugh at pretty much anything.

What do the PC heads think about laughing at prison rape jokes?

I hear ya.

My friends my self included, say sinsiter things to the girls in our group like here drink this .... and make it look like where sprinkling things into there drink.

We take the piss out of all race's, we mock anything and everything, the same way a comidan will.
its funny and we laugh at it, when where watching csi as group where ccheering the killer on......

yet where all morally sound we just take the piss out of anything wrong, for god sake watch south park thats even worse... Bu then again we could almost blame that as the source of a twisted sense of humor but its funny we 'd laugh if, some one came over and started mouthing of at what we where saying wed winde them up so much that theyd ened up attacking us.....We dont care....

As long as we can laugh..

while yes in an ideal world people wouldnt make racistjokes rape jokes or any other kinda wrong joke but they do... it just one of those things...

Boston

Blacey wrote: »

If you extend the logic of the rape culture argument, then maybe it does. However, it's not the point right now.
Here is a link to help you understand my point

I read that and had an initial response typed up, then I clicked on a link and came across these two accounts (1 and 2)of male prison rape in the states. We all know that male rape is prolific in American correctional facilities. It's accepted and a complete joke no one takes seriously. We know it happens all the time. Everything I've ever read points to it being tacitly approved of by the justice system in america. If you're imprisoned, you will be assaulted or assault others.

Boston

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

My friends my self included, say sinsiter things to the girls in our group like here drink this .... and make it look like where sprinkling things into there drink.

Personally mate, if you tried that with me the contents of the pint would be in your face, probably followed by the glass. I get that you find it hilarious fuking about with other people, but how do they feel about it, or do you think about that?

You're "Its ok as long as its funny" stance is as ridiculous as the "Some things you never joke about" stance. Worse actually since you're more likely to offend and upset.

dan_d

Ooh, I like this one. I have a major problem with using the word "rape" in any situation other than it's intended for. And I work in a job where people above me use the phrase "such and such raped me over the state of things during the meeting today". (they are mainly men). I don't care whether I'm sensitive or not. I don't like it. I don't normally have very strong opinions on things, but this I do. I also think that men use it out of context more than women, because most men haven't the first idea what it truly means to a woman. ( I know it happens to men too, but let's face it, more common the other way around).
Another one I've heard is "abortion" out of context. Usually referring to something that's been done badly or is in a mess - "that's an abortion". I also have a problem with that. Just because - I don't know, I don't have very strong opinions on abortion but I do think again, that used by men in that context is something I've a problem with, because they haven't really got the first clue what it's like in reality.

So yeah, call me feminist, sensitive, whatever, I don't care. I've a problem with those 2 words being used like that. And as far as I'm concerned I'm perfectly entitled to.

~nop~

If we make rape something we can joke about we also make it something we can talk about. One of the big issues that surrounds rape is the fact that the victims feel that it is a taboo issue in society and therefore many continue to suffer in silence, but freedom of speech and of topic involves opening subjects up to all kinds of discussion in society, and stopping a subject from being a taboo one and making it an issue that is more accepted as a common one by the masses means that it must not be something that everyone goes silent at the mention of, therefore promoting healthy discussion and acceptance.

speedboatchase

Boston wrote: »

Personally mate, if you tried that with me the contents of the pint would be in your face, probably followed by the glass. I get that you find it hilarious fuking about with other people, but how do they feel about it, or do you think about that?

You're saying you would glass someone over an (ill-advised) attempt at humour? Not sure who the joker is in this scenario, you sound like a bit of a scumbag to be honest

Silverfish

speedboatchase wrote: »

You're saying you would glass someone over an (ill-advised) attempt at humour? Not sure who the joker is in this scenario, you sound like a bit of a scumbag to be honest

I believe the point is seeing someone sprinkling something into your drink cannot always be perceived as a joke. If you saw it, how are you to know whether they were sprinkling something, or just joking. Either way, only funny to the person doing it.

Also I would suggest, once again, that you read the charter.

fatmammycat

~nop~ wrote: »

If we make rape something we can joke about we also make it something we can talk about. One of the big issues that surrounds rape is the fact that the victims feel that it is a taboo issue in society and therefore many continue to suffer in silence, but freedom of speech and of topic involves opening subjects up to all kinds of discussion in society, and stopping a subject from being a taboo one and making it an issue that is more accepted as a common one by the masses means that it must not be something that everyone goes silent at the mention of, therefore promoting healthy discussion and acceptance.

Rubbish, you can talk about rape without turning it into a stupid joke. I love how 'PC' and 'freedom of speech' has been hijacked to encompass being insulting and being an crude oaf.

speedboatchase

Silverfish wrote: »

I believe the point is seeing someone sprinkling something into your drink cannot always be perceived as a joke. If you saw it, how are you to know whether they were sprinkling something, or just joking. Either way, only funny to the person doing it.

Also I would suggest, once again, that you read the charter.

Well I personally found it offensive that someone can basically just say "if you did that to me I'd glass you" to another person in this thread and no-one bats an eye-lid. Of course that doesn't count as personal abuse to another poster according to you, just my post

Silverfish

I see it as a discussion of a hypothetical situation rather than an outright threat.

If you have an issue with a post, please use the report post function rather than resorting to name calling.

Thank you.

Boston

speedboatchase wrote: »

You're saying you would glass someone over an (ill-advised) attempt at humour? Not sure who the joker is in this scenario, you sound like a bit of a scumbag to be honest

Most people are raped by friends and associates. Putting something in someone elses drinks and telling them its a date rape drug is assault and you can be arrested for it. Assault is all about the perception of a threat, the threat need not have been real. Maybe I am a scumbag, or maybe I realise that the only thing funnier to someone who likes to joke about spiking a drink, is actually doing it. I've never tolerated people interfering with my drinks, jokingly or otherwise. It's a fantastic way to ruin someone's night out.

pickarooney

Thaedydal wrote: »

I think it's a trickle down from certain types of online games, I started hearing it used by counter strike players about 10 years ago and have heard it this year from young halo players who tend to be male.

Yes language is organic and shifts and changes but there had to be a line and using that verb about other things lessens the impact of the word and what it really means and its not something I do and the unthinking use of it by people I find shocking and saddening.

'rape' as a verb has had a far broader meaning than 'forced sexual intercourse' for centuries. It has always had the meaning of pillage/plunder in the context of attacking a city, long before teenagers began (re-)using it for similar.

Not to mention the plant...


edit: didn't realise this thread was old, clicked in from an outside link

Thomas828

My opinion on this subject is quite plain. Rape is nothing to joke about. It's the most heinous crime you could commit. And people who make jokes about rape have no tact, no taste and no respect. Even blasphemy isn't as sickening as jokes about rape.