The Pregnant Womans Moan Thread.

madeinamerica

SmokeyEyes wrote: »

Feck that, I was overweight when I fell pregnant and was told it was safe to lose weight, I'm 8 months now and 22lbs lighter than I was before I fell pregnant, if I need a cronut I'll have a cronut I'm good the rest of the time!:D

Fair play to ya smokeyeyes, 22lbs lighter AND at 8 months pregnant! You deserve a cronut! I was borderline to start with and Im having a tough (and unsuccessful) time keeping away from the lovely munchies

BroodyAllen

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

This part of your pregnancy is truly an endurance test I think. It's like someone gives you an anaesthetic but won't let you sleep and send you off to do a days work. Also don't forget your side order of nausea too and remember sussshh don't say a word about any of this to anyone.
I felt like I'd never make it through to the promised land of the second trimester. But I did and like magic at week 14, a day after I cried my eyes out because I thought I'd never feel normal or like my old self again, I woke up and suddenly wasn't tired upon waking. The nausea lifted a fair bit too and the sun came out in my life again.
I am 20 weeks now and still tire easily enough but the exhaustion does get better trust me.
Positive thoughts to you and if you can have a nap at your desk go right ahead an do it. I locked my office door every day for an hour and pretended to be out at lunch but was napping at my desk. Had to be done.
Use a hot water bottle on your back, it really eases the pain. You can also get a microwaveable cushion which I use every day on my drive to work. My back often aches since getting pregnant and using this first thing in the day sets me up brilliantly. A hot water bottle will do just as well though.

Thanks Penny, I must give the hot water bottle a go! I went for a 'lie down' after dinner last night and never got back up Feel much better today for it.

Penny Dreadful

BroodyAllen wrote: »

Thanks Penny, I must give the hot water bottle a go! I went for a 'lie down' after dinner last night and never got back up Feel much better today for it.

:D I've had a few "off for a 20 minute nap" situations turn into my sleeping like the dead for about 2 hours.

ShaShaBear

So, OH and I decided (or rather my incessant ranting finally got through to him) that he should hand in his notice and leave work. He was being utterly abused in there - working 60+ hours a week (sometimes as many as 80) and only getting paid for 50. And we had to fight for the upgrade from 40 to 50 hours pay. He can never get days off, he is constantly harrassed with phonecalls from staff members looking for help and every day he ends up going in a little bit earlier to correct someone else's mistakes.

Now we've found out that the boss is running a REALLY shady operation and my partner, although paying the fee and doing the appropriate training, has not been legally licenced to do the job since he started last August.

Not in the slightest bit ideal that he should be leaving work voluntarily but I simply can't allow him to work on there as every week it gets worse and I am getting heart palpitations and anxiety attacks thinking about when I go into labour, and him not being allowed time off and getting constant calls at all hours asking him to come in and clean up others' messes.

He was supposed to drop me down to the bus before my exam tomorrow, and just rang me to say he can't because work rang and need him to come in early and work his day off.
He "compromised" by saying he would come in early, but wouldn't work his day off. Handing his notice in tomorrow, and he compromises.

I am so utterly furious with him, and made sure to tell him as much. Sick to the back teeth of him practically licking the tooshies of people in there for no reward and then coming home to rant to me for two hours about how he was treated and why none of the housework is done! :mad:

Penny Dreadful

ShaShaBear wrote: »

So, OH and I decided (or rather my incessant ranting finally got through to him) that he should hand in his notice and leave work. He was being utterly abused in there - working 60+ hours a week (sometimes as many as 80) and only getting paid for 50. And we had to fight for the upgrade from 40 to 50 hours pay. He can never get days off, he is constantly harrassed with phonecalls from staff members looking for help and every day he ends up going in a little bit earlier to correct someone else's mistakes.

Now we've found out that the boss is running a REALLY shady operation and my partner, although paying the fee and doing the appropriate training, has not been legally licenced to do the job since he started last August.

Not in the slightest bit ideal that he should be leaving work voluntarily but I simply can't allow him to work on there as every week it gets worse and I am getting heart palpitations and anxiety attacks thinking about when I go into labour, and him not being allowed time off and getting constant calls at all hours asking him to come in and clean up others' messes.

He was supposed to drop me down to the bus before my exam tomorrow, and just rang me to say he can't because work rang and need him to come in early and work his day off.
He "compromised" by saying he would come in early, but wouldn't work his day off. Handing his notice in tomorrow, and he compromises.

I am so utterly furious with him, and made sure to tell him as much. Sick to the back teeth of him practically licking the tooshies of people in there for no reward and then coming home to rant to me for two hours about how he was treated and why none of the housework is done! :mad:

I'd be handing in my notice this evening (with immediate effect) before I left for home. Turn the phone off and head out for a lovely dinner (having left the phone at home of course) and relax for the evening.

Can you organise a lift to the bus with someone else for the morning or book a taxi to take you that far? I know its not going to sort out the other issues for you but it is a more immediate and pressing need to be addressed.

ShaShaBear

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I'd be handing in my notice this evening (with immediate effect) before I left for home. Turn the phone off and head out for a lovely dinner (having left the phone at home of course) and relax for the evening.

Can you organise a lift to the bus with someone else for the morning or book a taxi to take you that far? I know its not going to sort out the other issues for you but it is a more immediate and pressing need to be addressed.

I can walk it, just it takes me about 20 minutes and I have a bad cold at the minute. It's probably more whingy on my part that I have to walk it now :P
He doesn't want to hand in his notice and walk because they owe him roughly 8k and he seems to think if he does things by the book they'll be nice and give it back on his last day :rolleyes:

I used to find his naivety cute, but he really doesn't get that we are probably going to have to go to court to get the money back, and if his boss declares bankruptcy we're pretty much boozled.

Penny Dreadful

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I can walk it, just it takes me about 20 minutes and I have a bad cold at the minute. It's probably more whingy on my part that I have to walk it now :P
He doesn't want to hand in his notice and walk because they owe him roughly 8k and he seems to think if he does things by the book they'll be nice and give it back on his last day :rolleyes:

I used to find his naivety cute, but he really doesn't get that we are probably going to have to go to court to get the money back, and if his boss declares bankruptcy we're pretty much boozled.

A 20 minute walk in place of a lift with or without a cold when heavily pregnant is worth having a whinge about IMHO.
At least the weather is picking up and you won't be walking in deluges of heavy rain. (I always try to find something good or at least not so bad in a situation when I calm down a little from being annoyed).

I read some of your previous posts with regard to your partner and his work place and it certainly does sound as they are a less than above board operation.
Do you think, even if he plays nicely and hands in his notice and gives the required notice period that they will pay all of the back money? If you do think that they will then its worth sticking it out for the notice period.
If you genuinely don't then perhaps it would be worth your partner's time getting onto the citizen's advice people or their website and see what his options are.
€8,000 is a lot of money at any time never mind if you're having a baby, going to be relying entirely on one wage coming into a household or going to be out of work for a while. Going down the legal route always takes time and it is stressful so if that could be avoided it would be good.

ShaShaBear

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

A 20 minute walk in place of a lift with or without a cold when heavily pregnant is worth having a whinge about IMHO.
At least the weather is picking up and you won't be walking in deluges of heavy rain. (I always try to find something good or at least not so bad in a situation when I calm down a little from being annoyed).

I read some of your previous posts with regard to your partner and his work place and it certainly does sound as they are a less than above board operation.
Do you think, even if he plays nicely and hands in his notice and gives the required notice period that they will pay all of the back money? If you do think that they will then its worth sticking it out for the notice period.
If you genuinely don't then perhaps it would be worth your partner's time getting onto the citizen's advice people or their website and see what his options are.
€8,000 is a lot of money at any time never mind if you're having a baby, going to be relying entirely on one wage coming into a household or going to be out of work for a while. Going down the legal route always takes time and it is stressful so if that could be avoided it would be good.

To be honest, without going into a host of very identifiable information, they dont have the money. Or at least, the boss is pretending he doesn't have it - as he is just coming back from a 2 week holiday with his wife in Portugal, left no-one in charge and didn't pay back any of the wages owed.
I've a funny feeling he'll refuse to pay it back, but I got Himself to get a print out of the hours owed so he has proof, and I've made it very clear that if he doesn't get a satisfactory amount of what he's owed returned to him (ie all of it considering he's banned from claiming SW for 9 weeks for leaving voluntarily) I'll be reporting him to a plethora of institutions and companies. If we can't have that money, aint nobody getting it :pac:

What he's owed would leave us 100% debt free, buy us everything left that we need for baby, put us a month a head on all of our bills and a year ahead on our car, and we'd STILL have about 2k left over to mess with!

Penny Dreadful

ShaShaBear wrote: »

To be honest, without going into a host of very identifiable information, they dont have the money. Or at least, the boss is pretending he doesn't have it - as he is just coming back from a 2 week holiday with his wife in Portugal, left no-one in charge and didn't pay back any of the wages owed.
I've a funny feeling he'll refuse to pay it back, but I got Himself to get a print out of the hours owed so he has proof, and I've made it very clear that if he doesn't get a satisfactory amount of what he's owed returned to him (ie all of it considering he's banned from claiming SW for 9 weeks for leaving voluntarily) I'll be reporting him to a plethora of institutions and companies. If we can't have that money, aint nobody getting it :pac:

What he's owed would leave us 100% debt free, buy us everything left that we need for baby, put us a month a head on all of our bills and a year ahead on our car, and we'd STILL have about 2k left over to mess with!

So it is well worth getting your hands on! Not that €8000 is never worth getting your hands on for anyone.
Thats why I'd suggest checking out your options before saying or doing anything. Is there a union rep who could attend with your partner tomorrow? Having a second person in the room with you is always benifical anyway.
If he can't claim any benefits for 9 weeks after leaving his place of work and you have to go the legal route to try to recoup any of the money where will that leave you guys? The baby could arrive in that 9 week time frame couldn't it? Given that we are all considered full term at 37 weeks if I remember correctly then your baby falls into this time frame doesn't she?

Would it be possible for your partner to take the time to find another job to move to before handing in his notice? At least that way it wouldn't leave you strung out financially. I'd still pursue the money owed but you would have the luxury of time to chase it down rather than being on your uppers and stressing about it otherwise.

ShaShaBear

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

So it is well worth getting your hands on! Not that €8000 is never worth getting your hands on for anyone.
Thats why I'd suggest checking out your options before saying or doing anything. Is there a union rep who could attend with your partner tomorrow? Having a second person in the room with you is always benifical anyway.
If he can't claim any benefits for 9 weeks after leaving his place of work and you have to go the legal route to try to recoup any of the money where will that leave you guys? The baby could arrive in that 9 week time frame couldn't it? Given that we are all considered full term at 37 weeks if I remember correctly then your baby falls into this time frame doesn't she?

Would it be possible for your partner to take the time to find another job to move to before handing in his notice? At least that way it wouldn't leave you strung out financially. I'd still pursue the money owed but you would have the luxury of time to chase it down rather than being on your uppers and stressing about it otherwise.

He's been looking and applying for three months now and not so much as an interview (or letter/email of rejection for that matter). Because of where we live, we're very limited in where we can apply and moving isn't an option. I wanted him to wait for a job but with the way things are going I'm going to end up losing my mind with him constantly putting work first because he seems to think he has to!
A large part of the failure to get a job is probably down to the fact he was telling people he had his PSA licence, which we've now realised he doesn't. In fact, he isn't legally allowed to work at all and if the PSA found out, there would be serious consequences. He's gotten a stomach ulcer and has lost over two stone because he's not allowed lunch breaks and goes 5 (and sometimes 6) days a week with nothing to eat from 5am till 9pm! Baby is due in 7 weeks, but with 37 weeks considered full term she could be here in 5! If he doesn't leave, there is every chance he will miss his daughter's birth as his boss made it clear that if he is in work, he stays there until the job is done and that "the baby will still be there when you clock out".

We have enough savings put away to cover us as a pretend weekly wage. As it stands, he couldn't even get a day off work to get a lump in his testicle checked, so I doubt he'd get one off for a job interview

Also, no union rep or union for that matter - small family run business with about 15 staff members in total, 5 of which are related!

Dr.Winston O'Boogie

ShaShaBear wrote: »

He's been looking and applying for three months now and not so much as an interview (or letter/email of rejection for that matter). Because of where we live, we're very limited in where we can apply and moving isn't an option. I wanted him to wait for a job but with the way things are going I'm going to end up losing my mind with him constantly putting work first because he seems to think he has to!
A large part of the failure to get a job is probably down to the fact he was telling people he had his PSA licence, which we've now realised he doesn't. In fact, he isn't legally allowed to work at all and if the PSA found out, there would be serious consequences. He's gotten a stomach ulcer and has lost over two stone because he's not allowed lunch breaks and goes 5 (and sometimes 6) days a week with nothing to eat from 5am till 9pm! Baby is due in 7 weeks, but with 37 weeks considered full term she could be here in 5! If he doesn't leave, there is every chance he will miss his daughter's birth as his boss made it clear that if he is in work, he stays there until the job is done and that "the baby will still be there when you clock out".

We have enough savings put away to cover us as a pretend weekly wage. As it stands, he couldn't even get a day off work to get a lump in his testicle checked, so I doubt he'd get one off for a job interview

Also, no union rep or union for that matter - small family run business with about 15 staff members in total, 5 of which are related!

I have to say although I sympathise with your situation, from a man's point of view it sounds like a very very stressful situation for your partner also. He is facing incredible pressure at work and also clearly at home, if he has an ulcer and lost weight I can imagine the stress is also getting to him. He may need to be cut some slack as it's an awful situation for both of you and rather than taking your anger out on him making your home the one stress free zone may really ease things for him.

My partner is also pregnant and if I was in that situation I would hope she would try and make my life a bit easier while I try sort out the situation. She has SPD and would happily walk twenty minutes if I could not give her a lift to a bus stop so maybe count yourself lucky that you can! I hope I don't sound like I am having a go, just wanted to give a man's perspective on the situation.

FurBabyMomma

Oooh niallo you're on thin ice there! I understand you want to give a man's POV but this is the pregnant woman's moan thread, we all need somewhere to vent and that's the point here. I'd be mad at my husband in this case too, as he is letting himself be taken advantage of in a way that's causing the stress - pregnant or not if my hubby was owed 8k I'd be fuming with him for letting it get that far; it's literally taking food from a baby's mouth now. Also even without SPD a 20 minute walk can sometimes be a tremendous effort when you're growing and carrying a person inside you that drains your energy. Yes some women have worse pregnancies than others but that doesn't mean the rest of us have to be martyrs!

PS: Sorry about your other half, SPD sucks.

Sarah Bear

I've spd and is be in a heap if I had to walk 20 mins! And at this stage in late pregnancy I'd find it hard either way

nikpmup

Some women can jog well into middle/late pregnancy. Some can barely waddle. I'm in the latter camp. No SPD, but I was in agony if I had to walk any distance, especially without my physio belt on. I barely slept for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy.

Also, most (all?!) women are flooded with hormones, which make dealing with an ordinarily routine problem feel like battling Smaug. Now, while I'm sure ShaShaBear's husband is dealing with work stress, he cannot be adding to the strain of growing a person. GROWING A PERSON! It is difficult, scary, stressful and physically demanding, and she has to carry on with her day-to-day as well. It is the partner's job to alleviate as much stress as possible, and to make the transition from pregnancy to parent as easy as possible. If that means jacking in a dodgy job and taking the boss to court, then that's what it means. It is a very short window of time that the female partner needs this unwavering support.
It may sound unbalanced and unfair that women expect this level of care from their men, but, y'know what? If the men could carry the babies, we'd be the ones doing the fetching and carrying. It may sound unfair, but trust me. You lot got the easy end of the deal!

Penny Dreadful

I feel for ShaShabears partner and the work situation he is in. Going to work with a feeling of dread every day is a horrible thing to endure. However, he does need to stand up for himself. No one else is going to magically step in and say " this man deserves a lunch break and damn it to hell he is going to have it!".
We're all adults and we have to say "no, that is inappropriate and I won't do it" where necessary.
Given the work situation as outlined I wonder what the boss would do if he downed tools at 1pm and said "I'm off for lunch see you in 35 minutes/ whatever" what would his boss do? You can't fire someone for taking a legally permitted break.
By permitting this behaviour to continue for as long as he has he has shown his boss that he is willing to be treated like a doormat.
He has a partner and a baby on the way and he owes it to himself and his family to stand up for himself.
This taking back of control in his life will make him feel better, improve his confidence in himself and also make for a happier home environment.
Whether or not his partner has SPD or can run marathons a la Paula Radcliffe doesn't matter.

Either way, good luck in your final exam. Today ShaShabear.

ShaShaBear

Thanks ladies - thought I was going to have to break out my man-whooping hat there

I don't feel I need to sit at home like a good little housewife and make things pleasant for him while he continues to be subjected to illegal practices at work. He's liable to get himself, ebso facto our family, into a lot of trouble if it comes out that he was aware of this law-breaking and did nothing.

I guarantee if your pregnant missus with SPD was forced to look after everything at home by herself while you worked an extra 30 hours per week for free and then did nothing but whinge about it when you got home, you'd be in for a mighty shock

He's giving in his notice this evening, I expect this to be the first evening in a while he won't come home crying

nxbyveromdwjpg

niallo24 wrote: »

I have to say although I sympathise with your situation, from a man's point of view it sounds like a very very stressful situation for your partner also. He is facing incredible pressure at work and also clearly at home, if he has an ulcer and lost weight I can imagine the stress is also getting to him. He may need to be cut some slack as it's an awful situation for both of you and rather than taking your anger out on him making your home the one stress free zone may really ease things for him.

My partner is also pregnant and if I was in that situation I would hope she would try and make my life a bit easier while I try sort out the situation. She has SPD and would happily walk twenty minutes if I could not give her a lift to a bus stop so maybe count yourself lucky that you can! I hope I don't sound like I am having a go, just wanted to give a man's perspective on the situation.

I agree with the rest of the posters here - just what part of 'Pregnant Womans Moan Thread' didn't you understand niallo23?

SmokeyEyes

Had gp appointment today (36 weeks) and I've become obsessed with my blood pressure over pregnancy so was a little upset today it had gone up. Two weeks ago in Rotunda it was 110/81, today 126/92 which is the highest bottom number I've had so of course immediately started worrying this is the start of the problem period with blood pressure. Nurse didn't seem concerned but still...

I know reading in hospital with midwife is more accurate and I'm in next Weds so trying not to think about it until then, but like a sap had a little cry feeling sorry for myself. Luckily fiance comforted me and made me a lovely dins, just I've come so far and actually brought down all my levels by getting fit I'd love to get to the end without complications:(

January

Keep positive about it, being stressed about it will probably raise it more and give you false readings.

Also if you're in any way overweight make sure they use the bigger cuff as it gives better readings too.

Merkin

SmokeyEyes wrote: »

Nurse didn't seem concerned but still.

You poor thing, I know it's hard not to worry. When all is said and done you simply must let the professionals do their job however and let them be your guide. If the nurse wasn't jumping up and down then you have to trust them and while your diastolic figure is a little high, it is expected for it to go up a little in late pregnancy and your systolic number was good. I know it's hard but you should not let this stress or upset you as it may just have been elevated today due to having it done, I'm sure you will be reassured on Wednesday. Would you treat yourself to a little reflexology or massage to help you unwind between now and then? Keep the chin up, you will be absolutely fine xx

madeinamerica

Smokeyeyes, sure the little bit of a cry might have done you and your blood pressure the world of good, relieve some of that stress. Don't beat yourself up over it, it was just one reading from a test you were already thinking a lot about. Sounds like you've done great work looking after yourself this far. One swallow doesn't make a summer

SmokeyEyes

Thanks girls I'm hoping it'll be better next week and I'll just try very hard to be extra healthy and relaxed between now and then!

Midwives reading will be more accurate next week so I'll try and reserve panic until then:)

highflyer30

Hyperemesis sucks. That is all

ShaShaBear

Getting a very sneaking suspicion that I will be having an early labour
Just like when my OH was convinced I was having a boy, and something just told me that it was a girl, I'm really feeling like she might be ready to make an appearance around the end of June. Only really a week and a half early, but my body just seems to be telling me it's time to prepare!

Aside from that, I can't shift this head cold, I'm sore from the neck down, my pelvis is under SERIOUS pressure, and every pee is subject to betting as to whether or not anything will actually come out.

SmokeyEyes

highflyer30 wrote: »

Hyperemesis sucks. That is all

You poor yoke I really genuinely feel for anyone who has this:(

madeinamerica

pretty exhausted today, it just hit me in the afternoon and I fell asleep in a seminar, like properly asleep with my chin propped up on my hand for a half hour! Thankfully it was a big room and I don't snore (I think).

Another minor moan, I've been getting a few salads in a place in work recently with lots of capers and balsamic vinegar. I love sour vinegary stuff. Just decided to google them today and I find that they are not recommended in pregnant women, something about capers and skin irritations and balsm vinegar and lead?! damn! I thought I was doing good! Back to the Ben & Jerry's shop next door for me so! :rolleyes:

madeinamerica

madeinamerica wrote: »

Another minor moan, I've been getting a few salads in a place in work recently with lots of capers and balsamic vinegar. I love sour vinegary stuff. Just decided to google them today and I find that they are not recommended in pregnant women, something about capers and skin irritations and balsm vinegar and lead?! damn! I thought I was doing good! Back to the Ben & Jerry's shop next door for me so! :rolleyes:

follow up to this: had an OB appointment this evening and asked her about the capers and balsamic vinegar, she never heard of any problems with pregnancy before. Great!

Rosy Posy

madeinamerica wrote: »

follow up to this: had an OB appointment this evening and asked her about the capers and balsamic vinegar, she never heard of any problems with pregnancy before. Great!

If you were to believe everything that people/Google says about what to avoid in pregnancy you'd have nothing left to eat!

SmokeyEyes

Finally got on the birth ball last night after midwife told me to yesterday for the rest of pregnancy, after a half hour though my pelvis was even more sore than before, not sure if it's meant to get like that so was very uncomfortable in bed last night:(

Penny Dreadful

SmokeyEyes wrote: »

Finally got on the birth ball last night after midwife told me to yesterday for the rest of pregnancy, after a half hour though my pelvis was even more sore than before, not sure if it's meant to get like that so was very uncomfortable in bed last night:(

There are great pelvic tilts you can do standing against the wall. I learned them at my ante natal yoga class and they are brilliant. I tend to over arch my back anyway and years of wearing heels too often hasn't helped it. The yoga classes have been brilliant for showing me ways to ease out a lot of the tension and discomfot caused by it.
If there are suitable classes near you I can't recommend them enough.