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If Jesus grew up in Limerick

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    #92
    humberklog
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 10,455 Mod ✭✭✭✭humberklog


    Another limerick...


    The king of the jews was born in a stable
    Turned water to wine, for that he was able
    But Judas the snitch
    Got on his tits
    When he tried to kiss him from across the table.


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    #93
    Corkfeen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Corkfeen


    The crucifixion would be replaced by a stabbing. Whenever anyone passes an ak-47 they'd bless themselves and he'd probably have been charged with possesion. :D


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    #94
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Liam Byrne wrote: »
    Actually, in an effort to inject some actual humour into this thread,

    So nice of you to try.......


    Limerick City Social Services Parental Report.

    Childs Name: Jesus O’Nazareth

    Mother: Delusional: claims to converse with people who can fly. Behaviour possibly an indication of prolonged drug use.

    Father: Absent/Unknown.

    Step Father    : Of limited IQ. Does not understand where babies come from. Seems unperturbed about his wife’s obvious infidelity.

    Living Conditions    : The family reside in a dilapidated out-building and the child was found sharing the accommodation with a number of animals.
    The place was dirty and unheated.
    The parents were throwing parties and had invited all the local shepherds round (not a suitable environment for a baby).

    Special note: During our inspection, three mature gentlemen approached the parents with very expensive gifts – we are concerned about their motives, several paedophile rings operate in this area.

    Action: Child taken into care.


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    #95
    humberklog
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 10,455 Mod ✭✭✭✭humberklog


    Maybe all would be grand because what with the piss poor witness protection plans Judas wouldn't dare grass him up.


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    #96
    zuroph
    Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    mikom wrote: »
    So nice of you to try.......


    Limerick City Social Services Parental Report.

    Childs Name: Jesus O’Nazareth

    Mother: Delusional: claims to converse with people who can fly. Behaviour possibly an indication of prolonged drug use.

    Father: Absent/Unknown.

    Step Father    : Of limited IQ. Does not understand where babies come from. Seems unperturbed about his wife’s obvious infidelity.

    Living Conditions    : The family reside in a dilapidated out-building and the child was found sharing the accommodation with a number of animals.
    The place was dirty and unheated.
    The parents were throwing parties and had invited all the local shepherds round (not a suitable environment for a baby).

    Special note: During our inspection, three mature gentlemen approached the parents with very expensive gifts – we are concerned about their motives, several paedophile rings operate in this area.

    Action: Child taken into care.


    Post reported, I'm horrified at your lack of knowledge: Limerick City Social Services would never have the report done in just 2009 years. It a much slower system than that. :mad:


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    #97
    Soulcrew09
    Registered Users Posts: 542 ✭✭✭Soulcrew09


    Mal-Adjusted wrote: »
    well, somebody has issues:rolleyes:

    The inbred population that surrounds Limerick who resent the fact that the only education or employment they can get will be in Limerick?

    Or prehaps the blind dubs who obviously cant see the $hit on their own doorstep?

    Maybe its the cawkies who have to slag off somewhere else to make themselves feel better about their own city which is falling down around them?

    Someone has issues alright. :rolleyes:


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    #98
    Liam Byrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,163 ✭✭✭✭Liam Byrne


    Soulcrew09 wrote: »
    The inbred population that surrounds Limerick who resent the fact that the only education or employment they can get will be in Limerick?

    Nowt wrong with that, considering it means they go to UL, and not "UCD for dyslexics"


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    #99
    topper75
    Registered Users Posts: 5,942 ✭✭✭topper75


    I got a glimpse back into Limerick's past there lately. I was down shopping and browsing the upstairs section of O'Mahony's bookshop when a lady with a loudspeaker across the road outside the Augustinians directed an assembly of people up the street behind a statue of the Virgin Mary. Seemed like something from the days of the confraternity.

    Now, like most people nowadays, I wouldn't like to return to that sort of theocratic past.

    But seeing what liberalism and 'rights and entitlements' have produced in some of the city's L.A. housing estates, it made me a little nostalgic for the conservative days of Angela's Ashes. A fair few pups going around nowadays who were clearly short of a good clip across the ear from a priest or teacher! :)

    All in all though, Limerick is still great. 99% of the jokers who slag Limerick, and try to associate it with crime, haven't actually ever been there from my questioning. That is the quickest way to dismiss them.


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