Giant Spiders

Iang87

What is with these giant spiders wondering around lately. A few times this week i've been just sitting and a spider the size of a small dog is wondering across in front of me.

Some of these ****ers are so big you nearly have to ask them to keep their heads down so you can see the TV

brummytom

You have them over there too?! :eek:

I encountered one last night.
I'm still in the spare room

Iang87

man i'm not surprised you're in the spare room some of these spiders would fill your bed

brummytom

Did the one's you saw run really fast too?

Iang87

no man these ones are obese little *****

Dave D

Ive also noticed the feckers(have one in my hand), Seen two big spiders today. Is it time to welcome our new arachnid overlords?

Mr. Incognito

Put the acid away.

Are you in the Enchanted Forest again?

Ask him if he's Aragog and tell him you're a mate of Hagrid's

Patricide

brummytom wrote: »

Did the one's you saw run really fast too?

I blame global warming, and chains like aldi/lidl...etc.

brummytom

Iang87 wrote: »

no man these ones are obese little *****

Ahh the Harney Spider (Arachnus Healthministerus)

We don't get those ones here

Iang87

brummytom wrote: »

Ahh the Harney Spider (Arachnus Healthministerus)

We don't get those ones here

post of the century

bigeasyeah

My spider has acquired speech.His name is Stefan and he is partial to a spot of Wagner.Hates the Belgians does Stefan.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Rhyme

You are in a forest.
To the north is a clearing.
To the west is a tree stump.
The way east is blocked by a giant spider.
What do you do?

> run the f*ck away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'f*ck'

> run away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'away'

> run

The spider is upon you, subduing you with it's vile web and injecting a burning poison into your neck. With your last breath you curse all arachnids as this one begins to insert eggs into your stomach.

You are dead.

/nerd

bigeasyeah

Rhyme wrote: »

You are in a forest.
To the north is a clearing.
To the west is a tree stump.
The way east is blocked by a giant spider.
What do you do?

> run the f*ck away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'f*ck'

> run away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'away'

> run

The spider is upon you, subduing you with it's vile web and injecting a burning poison into your neck. With your last breath you curse all arachnids as this one begins to insert eggs into your stomach.

You are dead.

/nerd

The wizard turned you into a whale?
Y/N

brummytom

Rhyme wrote: »

You are in a forest.
To the north is a clearing.
To the west is a tree stump.
The way east is blocked by a giant spider.
What do you do?

> run the f*ck away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'f*ck'

> run away

I'm sorry, I do not understand the word 'away'

> run

The spider is upon you, subduing you with it's vile web and injecting a burning poison into your neck. With your last breath you curse all arachnids as this one begins to insert eggs into your stomach.

You are dead.

/nerd

Ermm.. pardon?

A Doozer

It's the bastards with knees that creep me out!

ziggy23

yes they are horrible:( I didnt realise there was one on my blind and I pulled it down and he got squashed:eek: I'm afraid his family are gonna come get me now

bug

Due to the high number of "OMG the size of the spider I've just seen!" threads on boards recently, I've deducted the following;

1) There have been a lot more flies about. (see threads entitled "OMG what is the story with all the flies"
Hence, the spiders are getting a lot more to eat and are bigger.

2) Spiders are becoming more daring. Bare with me...

They have a lesser fear of being squished and feel more comfortable showing their portness in public, whereas they had previously hidden themselves in their nests.
They realise most people will observe them and write threads on the internet about them, (possibly untrue), rather than squishing them in between two pieces of toilet roll with a Goldenpages.

They are coming out of the closet.

Iang87

oh my god now they're posting on boards,

not an a great cover name there BUG

bigeasyeah

Spiders on the web?!

bug

bigeasyeah wrote: »

Spiders on the web?!

Well it would seem a natural progression..

Considering they have ... knees.. as Doozer pointed out, and a level of dexterity.

Hopefully this great leap in evolution might see the post content improve on boards.

A Doozer

bug wrote: »

Well it would seem a natural progression..

Considering they have ... knees.. as Doozer pointed out, and a level of dexterity.

Hopefully this great leap in evolution might see the post content improve on boards.

It's when they're across the room and you can see the joints and muscles and you're not allowed to kill it is when to pay hommage to your new arachnid deity and sacrifice a goat to appease it's hunger.

Sharpshooter

A Doozer wrote: »

It's when they're across the room and you can see the joints and muscles and you're not allowed to kill it is when to pay hommage to your new arachnid deity and sacrifice a goat to appease it's hunger.

They cannot be bigger than the sole of your shoe.:pac:

Now you know what to do.:D

Or get a glass and a piece of paper and catch him.

Open the door and put it outside.

bigeasyeah

bug wrote: »

Well it would seem a natural progression..

Considering they have ... knees.. as Doozer pointed out, and a level of dexterity.

Hopefully this great leap in evolution might see the post content improve on boards.

You re forgetting that the spiders made the web,its what they do....

A Doozer

Sharpshooter wrote: »

They cannot be bigger than the sole of your shoe.:pac:

Now you know what to do.:D

Or get a glass and a piece of paper and catch him.

Open the door and put it outside.

Sole of shoe no good as it would upset someone.

Usually use glass method and they usually curl up but one was so frickin big I had to get a mug as the glass was to small.

I don't mind admitting I'm scared ****less of spiders. And earwigs! Genuine phobia.

K-Ren

I'm generally grand with giant spiders as long as they don't take an hour and a half to do anything, sport emo haircuts, disregard the plot of a really good cartoon series and waste my €8.

Sharpshooter

A Doozer wrote: »

Sole of shoe no good as it would upset someone.

Usually use glass method and they usually curl up but one was so frickin big I had to get a mug as the glass was to small.

I don't mind admitting I'm scared ****less of spiders. And earwigs! Genuine phobia.

As long as they are catching the Dirty Bluebottles and flies that seem to be around in their droves at the moment, they are alright with me.

A Doozer

Sharpshooter wrote: »

As long as they are catching the Dirty Bluebottles and flies that seem to be around in their droves at the moment, they are alright with me.

That's cool. I'll keep checking my pillows and bed clothes before I go to bed.

gerky

:pac:

DigiGal

Patricide wrote: »

I blame global warming, and chains like aldi/lidl...etc.

Yeah they bring in the spiders in all their giant boxes full of giant foods for their huge warehouses....

DigiGal

bug wrote: »

Due to the high number of "OMG the size of the spider I've just seen!" threads on boards recently, I've deducted the following;

1) There have been a lot more flies about. (see threads entitled "OMG what is the story with all the flies"
Hence, the spiders are getting a lot more to eat and are bigger.

2) Spiders are becoming more daring. Bare with me...

They have a lesser fear of being squished and feel more comfortable showing their portness in public, whereas they had previously hidden themselves in their nests.
They realise most people will observe them and write threads on the internet about them, (possibly untrue), rather than squishing them in between two pieces of toilet roll with a Goldenpages.

They are coming out of the closet.

Gay Spiders :O

Must have been listening to too much Judas Priest