Tomorrow's Irish Independent

abouttobebanned

They spend the whole year being ostracised by their class mates, being called swots...sitting in at the weekend etc....but the day after leaving cert results is their day. The day where they get to be on the front page of the independent, with a smug little smile saying how they're so surprised that they got 9As. Me arse you are.

Let's try and guess what they'll be like tomorrow...it's almost always a girl, they generally struggle to find a fella who got 9As and when they finally do they're not too keen on taking his picture cause he's chinese.

Tomorrow's swot is going to be a pretty white girl,no doubt. Probably called Aoife.

"Oh i'm really happy...all my friends did really well too...we're all gonna watch DVDs at my house tonight." No you're not.

Cookie_Monster

There'll be less than last year anyway. only 143 got 600 points, as opposed to 216 last year.
Fail rates up too

Must be a load of thickos this year

skywalker

Jesus, jealous much?

abouttobebanned

skywalker wrote: »

Jesus, jealous much?

i can't imagine Jesus is that jealous to be honest. He's got loads goin on.

ScumLord

Pft, A's are for losers. Failure is where it's at these days, I didn't get any A's.


Edit: I just remembered I did get one A. Now I feel dirty.

strangeloop

abouttobebanned wrote: »

"Oh i'm really happy...all my friends did really well too...we're all gonna watch DVDs at my house tonight." No you're not.

Funny because it's true:D

stovelid

abouttobebanned wrote: »

They spend the whole year being ostracised by their class mates, being called swots...sitting in at the weekend etc....but the day after leaving cert results is their day. The day where they get to be on the front page of the independent, with a smug little smile saying how they're so surprised that they got 9As. Me arse you are.

Let's try and guess what they'll be like tomorrow...it's almost always a girl, they generally struggle to find a fella who got 9As and when they finally do they're not too keen on taking his picture cause he's chinese.

Tomorrow's swot is going to be a pretty white girl,no doubt. Probably called Aoife.

"Oh i'm really happy...all my friends did really well too...we're all gonna watch DVDs at my house tonight." No you're not.

It's never too late for you, OP.

http://www.ioe.ie/

Local-womanizer

No matter what they get,they will still end up in a pool of their own sick crying at the fact they have to leave their friends.Happens every year.

topper75

I'll admit it I'm jealous of these gifted people and their smileysmug photos.
One of my other flaws is that I sometimes forget to stock up on jack's roll.

Kiera

Why are you pissing on Aoife’s parade?

mobius42

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

There'll be less than last year anyway. only 143 got 600 points, as opposed to 216 last year.
Fail rates up too

Must be a load of thickos this year

Or less bastards.

KevR

Cookie_Monster wrote: »

There'll be less than last year anyway. only 143 got 600 points, as opposed to 216 last year.
Fail rates up too

Must be a load of thickos this year

More likely that less parents could afford to get grinds for their children.

stovelid

Admittedly, they interviewed a lad on RTE 1 this morning that did sound a little smug.

JupiterKid

So what if they got 9 A1s? Isn't that better than if they were drug addled and banged up for their third babby?

I really hate the way success is dissed on in this country. Begrudgery, jealousy and bitterness is alive and well in this little benighted isle of ours...:(

TheZohanS

JupiterKid wrote: »

So what if they got 9 A1s? Isn't that better than if they were drug addled and banged up for their third babby?

I really hate the way success is dissed on in this country. Begrudgery, jealousy and bitterness is alive and well in this little benighted isle of ours...:(

People measure success in different ways.

Personally I think yo should go for both, then nobody can begrudge you.

--Kaiser--

I for one would be much more impressed with a kid downing a couple a bottle of vodkas and then getting his stomach pumped

Pighead

Pighead remembers well making the shaky leg walk up to t he school to collect his results. Was nervous as hell as Brickhead Brennan had wagered a fiver that he would get more points than Pighead in History. Trouble was, Pighead hadn't got a fiver. He'd spent it the previous night buying Big Boobs Brady drink in the hope she'd let Pighead stick his hands up her jumper.

Anyway walked up to the doors and Mrs Smith walks out and she says "Ah Pighead, well done my boy! Between you and me, you aced the History exam, A1 for you sir!" Suddenly Pighead's shaky legs started to strut. Thought he'd fcuked up the History ya see. Obviously underestimated how clever he was" Opened the results and seen a big stinking C3 written beside History.

Looked to the left and seen Brickhead Brennan smugly waving his B1 in Pigheads general direction. Looked to the right and heard Mrs Smith saying "Oh shoot, sorry Pighead, it must have been the other Pighead who got the A1"

Had no money so had to give Brickhead a pair of shoes to cancel the debt which in turn meant that Pighead couldn't go drinking as Mama Pighead doesn't allow any of the Pighead clan to go drinking without their shoes on. Worst day ever.

abouttobebanned

JupiterKid wrote: »

So what if they got 9 A1s? Isn't that better than if they were drug addled and banged up for their third babby?

I really hate the way success is dissed on in this country. Begrudgery, jealousy and bitterness is alive and well in this little benighted isle of ours...:(

We're not dissing success...kudos to success. We're dissing smugness and false modesty! Personally, I love the fuck out of success, and intelligent people, but I have a not so secret hatred for smug 18 year old girls.

lala stone

These A1ers always seem to be from Cork? anyone notice that?!

Kiera

abouttobebanned wrote: »

We're not dissing success...kudos to success. We're dissing smugness and false modesty! Personally, I love the fuck out of success, and intelligent people, but I have a not so secret hatred for smug 18 year old girls.

If I was Aoife I’d be pretty smug and tell the world how hard work does pay off. I’d say your hatred for 18yr old girls comes from somewhere else

dub_skav

If they were that clever they'd have realised only 6 subjects count, why bother studying for 9 - morons

abouttobebanned

Hey, if she says hard work pays off, and sitting in for the year becoming addicted to red bull and masturbation leads to results, then I applaud her. If she says she did "a bit of study" and is "surprised at the results" then she should be smacked.

994

Yes, because our native anti-intellectualism has served us so well. Exhibit A, our Iar-Thaoiseach who could hardly construct a sentence but achieved so much, such as, um...

stovelid

dub_skav wrote: »

If they were that clever they'd have realised only 6 subjects count, why bother studying for 9 - morons

Fluffing one subject out of six could mess up your points; fluffing one out of nine means you can juggle your good subjects.

rhapsody!

994 wrote: »

Yes, because our native anti-intellectualism has served us so well. Exhibit A, our Iar-Thaoiseach who could hardly construct a sentence but achieved so much, such as, um...

Beating anorexia.

stovelid

994 wrote: »

Yes, because our native anti-intellectualism has served us so well. Exhibit A, our Iar-Thaoiseach who could hardly construct a sentence but achieved so much, such as, um...

Being in the highest political position in the country?

PCPhoto

lala stone wrote: »

These A1ers always seem to be from Cork? anyone notice that?!

like this guy

http://breakingnews.ie/ireland/cork-student-gets-nine-a1s-in-leaving-cert-422258.html

PCPhoto

abouttobebanned wrote: »

They spend the whole year being ostracised by their class mates, being called swots...sitting in at the weekend etc....but the day after leaving cert results is their day. The day where they get to be on the front page of the independent, with a smug little smile saying how they're so surprised that they got 9As. Me arse you are.

Let's try and guess what they'll be like tomorrow...it's almost always a girl, they generally struggle to find a fella who got 9As and when they finally do they're not too keen on taking his picture cause he's chinese.

Tomorrow's swot is going to be a pretty white girl,no doubt. Probably called Aoife.

"Oh i'm really happy...all my friends did really well too...we're all gonna watch DVDs at my house tonight." No you're not.

Feck Aoife....Rory wiped the floor with her :P

EDIT: See previous message

Naikon

stovelid wrote: »

Fluffing one subject out of six could mess up your points; fluffing one out of nine means you can juggle your good subjects.

I only bothered to do 6 since I decided mid year to simply not sit Irish.
Still, most people should do 7 if they can.

Irish is a load of arse in fairness to me though : P

stovelid

PCPhoto wrote: »

like this guy

http://breakingnews.ie/ireland/cork-student-gets-nine-a1s-in-leaving-cert-422258.html

That's the lad I heard this morning.

Sounded a bit smug, but fair play to him.

dub_skav

stovelid wrote: »

Fluffing one subject out of six could mess up your points; fluffing one out of nine means you can juggle your good subjects.

I understand doing 7 - did 7 myself. But a guy who got 9 A1s hardly felt he was going to fluff 3 subjects.
9 is just showing off

Naikon

"When I was doing the exams I knew they were going fine and thought that's I'd do okay but I never expected to get nine A1s."

I smell BS.

stovelid

dub_skav wrote: »

9 is just showing off

He got 9 A1s so I guess his choice was justified.

Maybe he wanted to do the extra subjects, like music.

/shrugs.

c0rk3r

Thanks for the reminder. Leaving cert night in town tomorrow night. Whoot;)

edit: oh looks like its tonight. Better get my dancing shoes on

Aisling(",)

I wish i was him.
A girl in my year got 5A1s today.
Delighted for her because she worked hard for them.

OneArt

Haha, every time I see one of these people interviewed they always seem to go for medicine.

For once, I'd love to see someone get 570+ and proudly tell the newspapers that they're doing Business in Tallaght IT (only 100 points!). Would make my day so it would!

Ice_Box

abouttobebanned wrote: »

They spend the whole year being ostracised by their class mates, being called swots...sitting in at the weekend etc....but the day after leaving cert results is their day. The day where they get to be on the front page of the independent, with a smug little smile saying how they're so surprised that they got 9As. Me arse you are.

Let's try and guess what they'll be like tomorrow...it's almost always a girl, they generally struggle to find a fella who got 9As and when they finally do they're not too keen on taking his picture cause he's chinese.

Tomorrow's swot is going to be a pretty white girl,no doubt. Probably called Aoife.

"Oh i'm really happy...all my friends did really well too...we're all gonna watch DVDs at my house tonight." No you're not.

Anti-intellectualism is not just an Irish problem ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-intellectualism

Naikon

Ice_Box wrote: »

Anti-intellectualism is not just an Irish problem ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-intellectualism

:rolleyes:

abouttobebanned

I'm not being anti-intellectual, i actually see myself as somewhat of an intellectual

I'm anti smugness, I'm anti-Irish Independent, I'm anti-leaving cert, I'm anti-kids spending the year getting stressed and depressed about an exam, which, despite what the Leaving Cert Propagandists will tell them, is not the "be all and end all".

And I'm anti-Aoife from Cork.

markok84

c0rk3r wrote: »

Thanks for the reminder. Leaving cert night in town tomorrow night. Whoot;)

edit: oh looks like its tonight. Better get my dancing shoes on

Don't forget your chat up line, "I got 595, how 'bout you?"

AnonoBoy

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead remembers well making the shaky leg walk up to t he school to collect his results. Was nervous as hell as Brickhead Brennan had wagered a fiver that he would get more points than Pighead in History. Trouble was, Pighead hadn't got a fiver. He'd spent it the previous night buying Big Boobs Brady drink in the hope she'd let Pighead stick his hands up her jumper.

Anyway walked up to the doors and Mrs Smith walks out and she says "Ah Pighead, well done my boy! Between you and me, you aced the History exam, A1 for you sir!" Suddenly Pighead's shaky legs started to strut. Thought he'd fcuked up the History ya see. Obviously underestimated how clever he was" Opened the results and seen a big stinking C3 written beside History.

Looked to the left and seen Brickhead Brennan smugly waving his B1 in Pigheads general direction. Looked to the right and heard Mrs Smith saying "Oh shoot, sorry Pighead, it must have been the other Pighead who got the A1"

Had no money so had to give Brickhead a pair of shoes to cancel the debt which in turn meant that Pighead couldn't go drinking as Mama Pighead doesn't allow any of the Pighead clan to go drinking without their shoes on. Worst day ever.

Did you get your way with Big Boobs Brady though Pighead? If you did then it wasn't all bad.

AnonoBoy

abouttobebanned wrote: »

Hey, if she says hard work pays off, and sitting in for the year becoming addicted to red bull and masturbation leads to results, then I applaud her. If she says she did "a bit of study" and is "surprised at the results" then she should be smacked.

18 year old girls getting addicted to masturbation can lead to successful careers in LA so don't knock it.

Pighead

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Did you get your way with Big Boobs Brady though Pighead? If you did then it wasn't all bad.

Pighead got his way alright AnonoBoy but it was a case of false advertising. Turns out Big Boobs Brady should have been called Big Pairs of Dads Smelly Socks Stuffed Inside Her Bra Brady.

To this day Pighead can still smell the whiff of lies and her Dads feet upon the tips of his fingers.

mandysmithers

Pighead wrote: »

Looked to the left and seen Brickhead Brennan smugly waving his B1 in Pigheads general direction.

You probably didn't do very well in English either.

Zigmund

Naikon wrote: »

I smell BS.

B's? No, they're all A's. Did you not read the article?

Pighead

mandysmithers wrote: »

You probably didn't do very well in English either.

Got an A2. Lost marks for bad spelling in the "Describe mandysmithers" section of the exam. Wrote down "mandysmithers is a pernikity insuffarable troggolyte" Unfortunately while the description was accurate, the spelling was dreadful.

mandysmithers

Pighead wrote: »

Got an A2. Lost marks for bad spelling in the "Describe mandysmithers" section of the exam. Wrote down "mandysmithers is a pernikity insuffarable troggolyte" Unfortunately while the description was accurate, the spelling was dreadful.

I prefer 'Grammar Nazi' myself - less words to misspell.

Cookie_Monster

mandysmithers wrote: »

I prefer 'Grammar Nazi' myself - less words to misspell.

I prefers Pighead's description, more colourful and articulate

parker kent

Claire Tully got 600 points in the leaving so hopefully we get a few more Tully-like 600 pointers in the paper tomorrow...leading to pointers of a different variety!!

Alun

mandysmithers wrote: »

I prefer 'Grammar Nazi' myself - fewer less words to misspell.

I've corrected that for you

mandysmithers

Alun wrote: »

I've corrected that for you

Haha, Murphy's Law strikes again Is it really fewer instead of less? I stand corrected!