engagment rings...

babaloushka

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

Something doesn't ring very true here - what's this post in Beer Guts & Receding Hairlines about?

Gig Bee wrote: »

right thats it! I must be draunk! I find her v attractive.


Just a havana club for the road!

Ill take it to bed with me

Gig Bee

Eviledna wrote: »

Is it just me, or has Sex and the City ever caused more than a few arguments with the frivilous questions it poses?
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, it's just been the basis for too many a deep and meaningful with the OH (usually correlating with TOM, lol).

On topic though, I wouldn't want to keep a ring that belonged to a failed relationship. When I broke up with my ex, I quickly got rid of any jewellery and never regretted it. Not that any were diamonds mind (thank god!). I believe an enagement ring is symbolic of the promise, if that's broken, so's the ring.

I agree Eviledna with you premise and trail of thought.

Too many decisions in REAL life based on experience of TV fantasy life.

But why are you thanking God that your ring wasent diamond?

Would that of changed your basic principles if it was?

Eviledna

I thank god because I was young and stupid, and he was an absolute piece of the lowest cráp you might find at the musty part at the back of the loo. A diamond present may have delayed my freedom.

But back on topic...

Gig Bee

LOL so I take it he wasent Mr Right or Mr Big

spinandscribble

i doubt i could wear or keep an engagement ring if i broke up with a guy. i don't see the point in spending loads of money on a ring but i'd want to like it considering i'd be wearing it forever (hopefully).
i know its hardly comparable but i lost a very special ring i had from a ex a few weeks before we broke up. i was pretty happy i lost it in the end.

Odysseus

Just to give you all a blokes viewpoint on this. I'm engaged over two years, ring cost a fair bit. Now our relationship has been going through a rough patch for over a year. [A difficult year, lots of personal problems including quite a few close deaths on both sides]

At one point she gave me the ring back, I refused, didn't want it back. It was a present that was meant to symbolise my committment. Though we have moved forward very much with our difficulties over the past few months, she still doesn't wear it, which to be honest, that stings a tad. However, if things go the other way and we finish, I still wouldn't want it back.

It of no use to me, and I would say put it away and occassionally when she comes accross it she might have some thoughts about the good times we did have. Sounds a tad waffley but I have no need/want for it and what would I do with it inanyway. Though hopefully this isn't going to be an issue.

shellyboo

useful_contacts wrote: »

Actually Gig bee i did base this on a programme id seen, i was watching sex and the city tonight where Charlotte couldnt give up her engagment ring because she "Likes what it represented" even though they had broken up

That made me think of my friend and how she could sell her ring after 2 weeks of breaking up... which posed me to ask the question.

I was watching it too, that's why I said it!

Gig Bee wrote: »

TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed.

She didn't base her judgement on the programme, she saw something and gave her own opinion on it. If she'd never seen the programme she'd most likely have had the exact same opinion, the show just reminded her... she was also thinking about her real-life friend who sold her engagement ring. Nothing to do with TV.

Jeez. People are reading waaaaay too much into this.

Das Kitty

Whilst I love my rings, I love them as a symbol of my marriage and commitment to my husband. To be honest, if we broke up I don't know what I'd do, if I gave them to him he wouldn't take them, if I kept them they'd just remind me, if I sold them it would be terribly final. I suppose in the past 10 years I've never envisaged us ever being apart in that sense (I have thought about if one of us died however).

Have to stop now as I'm starting to cry.

shellyboo

Das Kitty wrote: »

Have to stop now as I'm starting to cry.

Don't cry! *hugs*

Das Kitty

Sorry. Hormones!

Xiney

Gig Bee, while we are very sorry about your loss you are projecting your own issues on this thread and that is not what it is about. Kindly do not veer this thread off topic again.


I don't have an engagement ring, but if my husband and I ever got divorced I don't know what I'd do about my wedding ring. I haven't really considered it.

I suppose I wouldn't continue to wear it. I doubt he'd want it back. If we broke up amicably enough I suppose I'd keep it to remember lovely times we've had

I hope I never have to make that decision, though.

Faith

Piste wrote: »

My engagement ring will be a white gold band with a small diamond in the centre and my birthstone to the left of it and my finacé's birth stone to the right.

Ooh, sounds just like what I want, except it's my birthstone on both sides.

I don't know what I'd do, tbh. My boyfriend mentioned that there's an engagement ring passed down through his family, so in the event that we got engaged and subsequently broke up, I'd give it back so the family could continue their tradition.

This

I have a ring I was given by my first serious bf.... i still wear it everyday... its gorgeous and reminds me of the happy times.... but saying that its not an engagment ring.... (thats coming 28th of july!!)

my cousin wears her engagment ring on the other other hand coz she loves it and people take no notice at all her and her bf broke up and he wanted her to have it... depends on situation

shivvyban

My engagement ring was my mother's so he CAN'T get it back!

barbiegirl

I ended up paying for my own engagement ring in a much earlier engagement. I was a silly 23 year old. So believe me I kept it. I've never worn it though as the memories aren't particularly happy.
My husband bought me my beautiful ring that I wear every day and love.

Clareman

Time for me to chime in with my 2 cents

An engagement ring is a gift of intent, whomever gives it to the other owns it until the promise is fulfilled, going for the most common occurance, the man asks the woman to marry him and gives her a ring, if she accepts the ring she's going to marry him, if she decides to not go ahead with the marriage, then the ring goes back, if he breaks it he can't ask for it back.

I've been engaged 3 years (getting married in 4 weeks), the ring was rather expensive, I've always considered the ring to be my OH's, it's a sign that we are going to get married, when we we choosing it I told my OH to pick the ring that she wanted, not to look at the price, that I didn't want her looking down on her finger for the rest of her life wishing she picked another 1. I don't think I would ever want it back, BUT I would imagine that if anyone was every to break an engagement that there would't be a set "thing to do"

coffee_cake

If/when my OH get engaged, we'll be buying each other rings
I think if it ever didn't work out, we might swap them back again, duno. Hopefully it's never an issue

ztoical

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

Not to sound heartless but the OP asked if you broke up with someone would you return the ring. That's very different to a partner passing away. If you break up with someone chances are they might use the same ring with another girl down the line, some people might have issue with that depending on the situation.

If you buy the ring together/you picked it out/help pay towards etc I think it's up to the people involved wither they return the ring. In some cases the ring might have belonged to a family member [mother/granny etc] and it's prob in good taste to return it. If I ever got engaged [not likely due to religous and personal beliefs] I'd make my own ring so I'd be keeping it no matter what.

aoibhebree

I know someone whose fiance broke up with her just a few months before the wedding (he'd been cheating on her.) They had bought a house together, and he put her through hell trying to squeeze every penny he could out of her from that. He then demanded the engagement ring back - it was worth about three grand - but she lied to him she'd dumped it when they broke up. She then tried to sell it, but couldn't because it was engraved and the metal was too delicate to remove the engraving. So she got the diamonds removed and made into a chain, which she hates and never wears, it's sitting in a drawer in her house now. Poor girl has a really bitter and twisted attitude towards men now, not surprisingly!

If my fiance and I broke up, he certainly wouldn't expect to get the ring back, no matter what the circumstances were. We've never discussed it of course, but that's what he's like. It's hard to know what I'd do with it, because I just can't imagine what would happen to make us break up. Seriouly, neither of us would/could cheat. If we parted on good terms, I'd probably want to keep it to look at it occassionally and remember the good stuff! But honestly I just find it so hard to imagine us breaking up, whether amicably or otherwise, so I really don't know what I'd do with it. Must remember to ask him his opinion later

MJOR

I love my ring I chose it and it symbolises our love. If we broke up?? Boo!!! I would return it eventhough I adore it because it cost a few bob or maybe I'd offer to buy it from him??

Jesus Wept

Piste wrote: »

My engagement ring will be a white gold band with a small diamond in the centre and my birthstone to the left of it and my finacé's birth stone to the right.




(a girl can dream >_>)



Because it'd be so personal I'd feel horrible giving it back and I dunno if a fiancé could ever give it to another girl as it would be so personalised. At the same time I'd feel awfully guilty keeping it. It's a hard one.

He's just have to find a girl born in the same month as you.

Piste

Exactly. It'd make it harder to dump me then



I don't think I could wear an engagement ring a guy had proposed to another girl with. Knowing my finacé originally bought the ring for another love of his life would make me slightly resent it, no matter how lovely it was.

It's weird, I normally abhorr symbolism but I have a thing about jewellery and the meanings imbued in them, especially rings.

graham41

I got mine back by post - a devastating experience:(

Piste

Ouch that must have hurt =/

SeekUp

Odysseus wrote: »

Just to give you all a blokes viewpoint on this. I'm engaged over two years, ring cost a fair bit. Now our relationship has been going through a rough patch for over a year. [A difficult year, lots of personal problems including quite a few close deaths on both sides]

At one point she gave me the ring back, I refused, didn't want it back. It was a present that was meant to symbolise my committment. Though we have moved forward very much with our difficulties over the past few months, she still doesn't wear it, which to be honest, that stings a tad. However, if things go the other way and we finish, I still wouldn't want it back.

Sound really tough . . . good luck.

MJOR wrote: »

I love my ring I chose it and it symbolises our love. If we broke up?? Boo!!! I would return it eventhough I adore it because it cost a few bob or maybe I'd offer to buy it from him??

That's quite an interesting "solution" . . . even though things would be a mess emotionally, that solution is quite a logical one -- it's no longer a gift from your (ex)fiancee, seeing as how you would have bought it from him/her.

Madame Razz

Mine ended up in the tide:rolleyes:

Quality

If I ever split up with Mr Quality, there is NO WAY he is getting any of my jewellery back..

If he wants them back, He will have to surgically remove the rings from my cold dead fingers first...

Corb

My boyfriend said that if he ever asks me to marry him he'll use his mother's engagement ring. He said it's worth a lot of money etc but I don't like the idea of wearing someone else's ring, I really don't. I don't care if he buys me one for a tenner, I just want my own ring.

He seems pretty set on the idea of his mum's ring though.

SeekUp

Corb wrote: »

My boyfriend said that if he ever asks me to marry him he'll use his mother's engagement ring. He said it's worth a lot of money etc but I don't like the idea of wearing someone else's ring, I really don't. I don't care if he buys me one for a tenner, I just want my own ring.

He seems pretty set on the idea of his mum's ring though.

I love the idea of a family/vintage/antique engagement ring. It has a history, it ties the present to the past . . . and I'm all about the reduce reuse recycle! Although if it's a family heirloom, it'd be a bit tricky if it ever came to having to give it back, as someone has already mentioned. In that case, I think it should remain in the family where it originated.

Corb

SeekUp wrote: »

I love the idea of a family/vintage/antique engagement ring. It has a history, it ties the present to the past . . . and I'm all about the reduce reuse recycle! Although if it's a family heirloom, it'd be a bit tricky if it ever came to having to give it back, as someone has already mentioned. In that case, I think it should remain in the family where it originated.

Maybe if it was my Mum's I'd feel differently, she's giving me her engagement ring anyway eventually but just as a ring. His mum is lovely as is the her engagement ring and it is a very expensive one but it's hers, I want my own one because it will be mine and won't have been worn by anyone else. I think he's hurt by that to be honest but it's just how I feel:(