engagment rings...

useful_contacts

Im engaged- have been for 5 years (we got engaged v early) i picked out my own ring and i adore it because i choose it and its my taste. Its worth jack ****(just over 100euro- he was a student at the time) but it doesnt matter to me.Hes always banging on about getting me a better ring but i dont want one. I adore my one.

But if me and my fiance broke up i COULDNT BEAR to give him back the ring. I adore it- sounds stupid but i picked it out and its mine(the one he was going to get me before i picked my one out was UGLY- a wishbone style one- uuuggghhh)

So have you / could you / would you give your engagment ring back if you broke up with your fiance. Maybe i wouldnt give it back because i picked it out and its mine- and i wouldnt want another girl wearing it.

Any opnions? stories?

orestes

I know of a woman who broke up with her fiance, kept the ring and later used it to finance the down-payent on a mortgage for the house she bought with another guy later down the line.

useful_contacts

orestes wrote: »

I know of a woman who broke up with her fiance, kept the ring and later used it to finance the down-payent on a mortgage for the house she bought with another guy later down the line.

very sex and the city:) hence my inspiration for this thread:)

Must have been a v expensive ring... i would probley get a night out for what my rings worth, my sisters ring cost 7grand- She has it insured!!!:eek:

orestes

Aye, it was an expensive ring alright, and it was about 25 odd years ago too when property was a we bit cheaper than it is these days

blondie7

oh id give it back, cant see any point in keeping it after all. Even if he told me to keep it id bin the thing, too many memories every time you look at it!!

Gig Bee

I find this thread very shallow I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

Silverfish

Don't quote me on this, but I believe I read somewhere that you are legally obliged to return the ring, as it is an agreement between you that you that you will get married, and when this is no longer the case, the ring is to be returned to the purchaser, as it is a conditional gift.

Sounds right to me anyway, it'd be a bit messed up to keep it, unless he cheated or lost all your savings on the horses or something.

Nevyn

Yes you are meant to give it back, I offered mine back and it was refused, think it's in a bottom of a drawer somewhere.

Gig Bee

I lament for the females of today!!!
To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.
I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

blondie7

Gig Bee wrote: »

I lament for the females of today!!!
To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.
I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

what happened your husband??

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

I lament for the females of today!!!
To value your lifelong relationship and companionship on the price of a ring is perverse.

I would trade my engagement ring, my wedding ring and my house just to have my husband back.

No offence hun but we heard ya the first time you posted it there was no need to post it twice seven minutes apart!

Relationships dont always work and i was not putting it down to a ring! If he wanted it back id give him it but would kill me to know that it would prob go to another girl or be pawned, cos hes hardly gonna wear it himself.

Gig Bee

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

i hope ur not including me in that- i stated my ring cos 100 quid and he wants to get me a more expensive one and ive said no cos i love the one i have.

This thread was ment to be lighthearted and a general enquiry it wasnt ment to sound vindictive

And im sorry about your husband- id hate 2 lose my man after 5 and a half years so cant imagine how you feel xxx

Silverfish

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm fairly confident it's rare enough that people base the suitability of future partners on the price of the ring - if they've already gotten to ring stage, its usually based on more than that. Nobody in this thread has said otherwise,in fact quite the opposite.

Gig Bee

Im sorry.......Maybe Im a bit sensitive.........but u shud cherish ur guys if he loves you. If you a wondering about the value of a ring or about whos going to wear it after you then maybe he is or you are not the one.

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

Im sorry.......Maybe Im a bit sensitive.........but u shud cherish ur guys if he loves you. If you a wondering about the value of a ring or about whos going to wear it after you then maybe he is or you are not the one.

dont care about my ring hun- could cost 50c(or 20p when i first got "married " when i was 6 ha) and i wouldnt care. Just couldnt bear it to be anyone elses only mine:)

Think the onion ring thing was adorable- took a lot of cleaning after tho i guess:p

Will

Gotta agree with Gig Bee, quite shallow and all me, me, me.

The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.

Gig Bee

Still smells a bit but maybe thats me lol> Im thinking of giving it to my daughters boyfriend(of six years) Now dont jump down my neck but its only going to rust away in some drawer the my great grand kids will probally sell for nothing. My daughter has always admired it and it wud make me happy to see her wear it.

Queen-Mise

im married 6 yrs last sat and still dont have one!

But then it would be pointless, i periodically wear my wedding ring. Its gorgeous but dont like rings.

Hubby doesnt mind in the least, he always wears his.

Although i always wear mine if im going out for a night.

shellyboo

Will wrote: »

The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.

Did she say that? I don't think she did.

She's allowed have an idle thought about her ring. Perhaps she saw a programme where someone gave the ring back and she thought, "God I could never do that." She's not sitting fretting about the possible demise of her relationship and the subsequent jewelry issues... she just posing a question.

The hostility to the OP is totally misplaced. She's just attached to her ring, it means a lot to her and she'd want to keep it. I don't think I'd want to give mine back if I ever had one, especially if I had picked it... it would have sentimental value and I'm very sentimental.

It's got nothing to do with valuing a ring more than a relationship.

useful_contacts

Will wrote: »

Gotta agree with Gig Bee, quite shallow and all me, me, me.

The fact that you are more worried about keeping a ring than actually falling out with your (hopefully) future husband is quite worrying.

Thats your opinion but was a general question wasnt ment to cause offence or sound me me me because im not like that

If i had wanted to be selfish and me me me i would have taken a more expensive ring when i was offered one

Just knew a girl who sold her ring after been broken up 2 weeks and made me wonder

Gig Bee

Shellyboo you had a good point up until you stated that op might have based her views on watching a programme! What programme? Jerry Springer? Or maybe she read about it in Heat magazine or HELLO or Ok!
Thats the shallowness I was referring to.

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

Still smells a bit but maybe thats me lol> Im thinking of giving it to my daughters boyfriend(of six years) Now dont jump down my neck but its only going to rust away in some drawer the my great grand kids will probally sell for nothing. My daughter has always admired it and it wud make me happy to see her wear it.

why would anyone jump down your neck- its nice to have heirlooms- my ring will prob be wittled down to nothing by the time i have a child old enough to get married (im 23 have no kids yet) so its nice to have those

Will

Don't think I'm coming across as hostile, if I am I do apologise.

Think im barking up the wrong tree, just gonna leave it.

Thread back on track

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

Shellyboo you had a good point up until you stated that op might have based her views on watching a programme! What programme? Jerry Springer? Or maybe she read about it in Heat magazine or HELLO or Ok!
Thats the shallowness I was referring to.

Actually Gig bee i did base this on a programme id seen, i was watching sex and the city tonight where Charlotte couldnt give up her engagment ring because she "Likes what it represented" even though they had broken up

That made me think of my friend and how she could sell her ring after 2 weeks of breaking up... which posed me to ask the question.

Gig Bee

TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed. Life bears little resemblance to the contrived happenings of TV sitcoms. They are written for ratings and money. Do you really think SJP is concerned about the one scene in one episode of one series that she acted that would send a message to the world about engagement rings? She was only bothered about her fee for ACTING a part,

However if your only 23yrs old as you state and your engaged 5yrs that sounds very promising(childhood sweethearts( and I wish you the best of luck:)

Clare Bear

Jaysus the OP doesn't want to get rid of her ring, she loves it. She's asking if you broke up with your fiancee/husband would you give it back to them?!

If he wanted it back I'd give it back, otherwise I'd keep it but it would be kept hidden away, break ups are hurtful enough without having a reminder like that looking at you. I'd never sell it or anything like that though.

Piste

My engagement ring will be a white gold band with a small diamond in the centre and my birthstone to the left of it and my finacé's birth stone to the right.




(a girl can dream >_>)



Because it'd be so personal I'd feel horrible giving it back and I dunno if a fiancé could ever give it to another girl as it would be so personalised. At the same time I'd feel awfully guilty keeping it. It's a hard one.

useful_contacts

Gig Bee wrote: »

TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed. Life bears little resemblance to the contrived happenings of TV sitcoms. They are written for ratings and money. Do you really think SJP is concerned about the one scene in one episode of one series that she acted that would send a message to the world about engagement rings? She was only bothered about her fee for ACTING a part,

However if your only 23yrs old as you state and your engaged 5yrs that sounds very promising(childhood sweethearts( and I wish you the best of luck:)

It wasnt ment as an general statement as in "i believe everyone thinks like this" and im sure "SJP" doesnt give a crap(tho a lotta tv does influence people)

We are not childhood sweethearts- i had 2 bitter twisted ****ed up long relationships before i met my fella,i met him by accident and funnily enough id no interest in him at first but he kept bugging me and wore me down, and then after a few dates i started to like him and fell madly in love with him and the rests history:)

sigh..

wanna go up stairs and hug him now:)

Gig Bee

At last a heart string! LOL! F**k the ring Go up and hug him!

Eviledna

Is it just me, or has Sex and the City ever caused more than a few arguments with the frivilous questions it poses?
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, it's just been the basis for too many a deep and meaningful with the OH (usually correlating with TOM, lol).

On topic though, I wouldn't want to keep a ring that belonged to a failed relationship. When I broke up with my ex, I quickly got rid of any jewellery and never regretted it. Not that any were diamonds mind (thank god!). I believe an enagement ring is symbolic of the promise, if that's broken, so's the ring.

babaloushka

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

Something doesn't ring very true here - what's this post in Beer Guts & Receding Hairlines about?

Gig Bee wrote: »

right thats it! I must be draunk! I find her v attractive.


Just a havana club for the road!

Ill take it to bed with me

Gig Bee

Eviledna wrote: »

Is it just me, or has Sex and the City ever caused more than a few arguments with the frivilous questions it poses?
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, it's just been the basis for too many a deep and meaningful with the OH (usually correlating with TOM, lol).

On topic though, I wouldn't want to keep a ring that belonged to a failed relationship. When I broke up with my ex, I quickly got rid of any jewellery and never regretted it. Not that any were diamonds mind (thank god!). I believe an enagement ring is symbolic of the promise, if that's broken, so's the ring.

I agree Eviledna with you premise and trail of thought.

Too many decisions in REAL life based on experience of TV fantasy life.

But why are you thanking God that your ring wasent diamond?

Would that of changed your basic principles if it was?

Eviledna

I thank god because I was young and stupid, and he was an absolute piece of the lowest cráp you might find at the musty part at the back of the loo. A diamond present may have delayed my freedom.

But back on topic...

Gig Bee

LOL so I take it he wasent Mr Right or Mr Big

spinandscribble

i doubt i could wear or keep an engagement ring if i broke up with a guy. i don't see the point in spending loads of money on a ring but i'd want to like it considering i'd be wearing it forever (hopefully).
i know its hardly comparable but i lost a very special ring i had from a ex a few weeks before we broke up. i was pretty happy i lost it in the end.

Odysseus

Just to give you all a blokes viewpoint on this. I'm engaged over two years, ring cost a fair bit. Now our relationship has been going through a rough patch for over a year. [A difficult year, lots of personal problems including quite a few close deaths on both sides]

At one point she gave me the ring back, I refused, didn't want it back. It was a present that was meant to symbolise my committment. Though we have moved forward very much with our difficulties over the past few months, she still doesn't wear it, which to be honest, that stings a tad. However, if things go the other way and we finish, I still wouldn't want it back.

It of no use to me, and I would say put it away and occassionally when she comes accross it she might have some thoughts about the good times we did have. Sounds a tad waffley but I have no need/want for it and what would I do with it inanyway. Though hopefully this isn't going to be an issue.

shellyboo

useful_contacts wrote: »

Actually Gig bee i did base this on a programme id seen, i was watching sex and the city tonight where Charlotte couldnt give up her engagment ring because she "Likes what it represented" even though they had broken up

That made me think of my friend and how she could sell her ring after 2 weeks of breaking up... which posed me to ask the question.

I was watching it too, that's why I said it!

Gig Bee wrote: »

TV programmes are fantasy! People who base their judgement on TV scripts or storylines are doomed.

She didn't base her judgement on the programme, she saw something and gave her own opinion on it. If she'd never seen the programme she'd most likely have had the exact same opinion, the show just reminded her... she was also thinking about her real-life friend who sold her engagement ring. Nothing to do with TV.

Jeez. People are reading waaaaay too much into this.

Das Kitty

Whilst I love my rings, I love them as a symbol of my marriage and commitment to my husband. To be honest, if we broke up I don't know what I'd do, if I gave them to him he wouldn't take them, if I kept them they'd just remind me, if I sold them it would be terribly final. I suppose in the past 10 years I've never envisaged us ever being apart in that sense (I have thought about if one of us died however).

Have to stop now as I'm starting to cry.

shellyboo

Das Kitty wrote: »

Have to stop now as I'm starting to cry.

Don't cry! *hugs*

Das Kitty

Sorry. Hormones!

Xiney

Gig Bee, while we are very sorry about your loss you are projecting your own issues on this thread and that is not what it is about. Kindly do not veer this thread off topic again.


I don't have an engagement ring, but if my husband and I ever got divorced I don't know what I'd do about my wedding ring. I haven't really considered it.

I suppose I wouldn't continue to wear it. I doubt he'd want it back. If we broke up amicably enough I suppose I'd keep it to remember lovely times we've had

I hope I never have to make that decision, though.

Faith

Piste wrote: »

My engagement ring will be a white gold band with a small diamond in the centre and my birthstone to the left of it and my finacé's birth stone to the right.

Ooh, sounds just like what I want, except it's my birthstone on both sides.

I don't know what I'd do, tbh. My boyfriend mentioned that there's an engagement ring passed down through his family, so in the event that we got engaged and subsequently broke up, I'd give it back so the family could continue their tradition.

This

I have a ring I was given by my first serious bf.... i still wear it everyday... its gorgeous and reminds me of the happy times.... but saying that its not an engagment ring.... (thats coming 28th of july!!)

my cousin wears her engagment ring on the other other hand coz she loves it and people take no notice at all her and her bf broke up and he wanted her to have it... depends on situation

shivvyban

My engagement ring was my mother's so he CAN'T get it back!

barbiegirl

I ended up paying for my own engagement ring in a much earlier engagement. I was a silly 23 year old. So believe me I kept it. I've never worn it though as the memories aren't particularly happy.
My husband bought me my beautiful ring that I wear every day and love.

Clareman

Time for me to chime in with my 2 cents

An engagement ring is a gift of intent, whomever gives it to the other owns it until the promise is fulfilled, going for the most common occurance, the man asks the woman to marry him and gives her a ring, if she accepts the ring she's going to marry him, if she decides to not go ahead with the marriage, then the ring goes back, if he breaks it he can't ask for it back.

I've been engaged 3 years (getting married in 4 weeks), the ring was rather expensive, I've always considered the ring to be my OH's, it's a sign that we are going to get married, when we we choosing it I told my OH to pick the ring that she wanted, not to look at the price, that I didn't want her looking down on her finger for the rest of her life wishing she picked another 1. I don't think I would ever want it back, BUT I would imagine that if anyone was every to break an engagement that there would't be a set "thing to do"

If/when my OH get engaged, we'll be buying each other rings
I think if it ever didn't work out, we might swap them back again, duno. Hopefully it's never an issue

ztoical

Gig Bee wrote: »

My lovely husband died 3 months ago. I just find it sad that girls base the suitability of future mates on the price of a ring. My engagement ring was embedded in a batter burger outside a chipper which took me totally by surprise. I was 17 he was 18. I am now 42. hw cud have gave me a paper ring, it wud not have mattered!

Not to sound heartless but the OP asked if you broke up with someone would you return the ring. That's very different to a partner passing away. If you break up with someone chances are they might use the same ring with another girl down the line, some people might have issue with that depending on the situation.

If you buy the ring together/you picked it out/help pay towards etc I think it's up to the people involved wither they return the ring. In some cases the ring might have belonged to a family member [mother/granny etc] and it's prob in good taste to return it. If I ever got engaged [not likely due to religous and personal beliefs] I'd make my own ring so I'd be keeping it no matter what.

aoibhebree

I know someone whose fiance broke up with her just a few months before the wedding (he'd been cheating on her.) They had bought a house together, and he put her through hell trying to squeeze every penny he could out of her from that. He then demanded the engagement ring back - it was worth about three grand - but she lied to him she'd dumped it when they broke up. She then tried to sell it, but couldn't because it was engraved and the metal was too delicate to remove the engraving. So she got the diamonds removed and made into a chain, which she hates and never wears, it's sitting in a drawer in her house now. Poor girl has a really bitter and twisted attitude towards men now, not surprisingly!

If my fiance and I broke up, he certainly wouldn't expect to get the ring back, no matter what the circumstances were. We've never discussed it of course, but that's what he's like. It's hard to know what I'd do with it, because I just can't imagine what would happen to make us break up. Seriouly, neither of us would/could cheat. If we parted on good terms, I'd probably want to keep it to look at it occassionally and remember the good stuff! But honestly I just find it so hard to imagine us breaking up, whether amicably or otherwise, so I really don't know what I'd do with it. Must remember to ask him his opinion later

MJOR

I love my ring I chose it and it symbolises our love. If we broke up?? Boo!!! I would return it eventhough I adore it because it cost a few bob or maybe I'd offer to buy it from him??