There's a fly in my apartment, what should I do?

loloray

Ok so my flatmate is away at the moment. When he left, a fly moved in. At first I didn't mind him, he liked landing on me and I found it interesting that I could feel him walk on me even through my clothes. He was good, unobtrusive company.

However this is the third day now. I am wearing less clothes and the fly keeps on landing me. He is getting worse and worse and more familiar. He walks on my back and makes buzzy noises more often. He lands on me more than any other thing in this room. He tickles me now in a really frustrating way.

What do I do? I never (deliberately) killed a fly before, and I don't want to kill a living thing - but this guy is driving me men-tal!

I used to pride myself on the 'there's no flies on me!' joke. But I can't say that now.

Any advice is welcome. I have tried showering.

My name is URL

Ghostbusters?

Max Power1

Maybe put outa sugary cake? If it was me id kill it though!

axer

Get some soup - apparently they love it.

loloray

axer wrote: »

Get some soup - apparently they love it.

Is that not only in restaurants though?
He is landing on my back as I try to type this. I hate him.

kippy

Make sure you've no sources of radiation in the place.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091064/

Biggins

Stage one: Buy a can of fly spray.
Stage two: Throw the can at the fly.
Stage three: Bin the dead fly.

Problem solved!

pebbles21

Do a Obama on it !http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc2335XeYDI

brummytom

Sorry OP, you'll have to move home.

Tar.Aldarion

loloray wrote: »

Is that not only in restaurants though?
He is landing on my back as I try to type this. I hate him.

YOu have to tell him that, or he won't know his love is unrequited.

FreeFallin

Turn off all the lights and leave the front door open for a while..

Then give me your address.

Wazdakka

This seems like a perfectly reasonable thread from somebody who is in no way trying / failing miserably to troll.

I think I shall help this indavidual.

All you need to do is purchace a set of these.
They make catching flies easy and fun.
Then you can release him out of a window at your leisure.

phasers

OP, I threw a chemistry book at a fly that was bothering me. I think it worked out pretty well.

Abi

Spray him with something. When he hits the floor let the post-mortem commence. Pick off his wings and legs one by one. Squish him just enough to let a little juice out, but not enough to kill him completely. I get bored after this.. so you could light a candle and finish him off this way, or you could just flush him down the toilet.

loloray

pebbles21 wrote: »

Do a Obama on it !

I'm sooo not as slick as him.

FreeFallin wrote:

Turn off all the lights

The lights are off. It's daytime over here in Ireland.

FreeFallin wrote:

Then give me your address.

So you can rescue me or rob my apartment? Are you malevolent or benevolent?

ScumLord

Marry it before it dies and you get 3 wishes.

Aldebaran

Simply open a window... and jump out. The apartment is now his.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

OP, I threw a chemistry book at a fly that was bothering me. I think it worked out pretty well.

I don't have a chemistry book and if I order one from Amazon it will take at least until after the weekend till one arrives. Does any chemistry book work or is there a particular one or author that I should look order?

TPD

Get a pet spider.

Biggins

You could send in my mother in law.
She can clear a room in 30 seconds!

phasers

loloray wrote: »

I don't have a chemistry book and if I order one from Amazon it will take at least until after the weekend till one arrives. Does any chemistry book work or is there a particular one or author that I should look order?

Make sure it includes a chapter on the history of the periodic table and you're sorted. Until then, try to reason with the fly. Offer him dinner, maybe watch a DVD together

My name is URL

Mate with it, and over time you'll slowly become lord of the flies

Get one can of hair spray and a lighter, instant flamethrower, shoot it down.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

Offer him dinner, maybe watch a DVD together

But I hate him! I try not to eat with things that I hate.

My name is URL wrote:

lord of the flies

Damnit I need a sex change for that though, just my luck would be he'd be Lord of the Flies and then he'd still be walking all over me.

zuroph

I know an old woman who swallowed a fly...
it didnt end well.

phasers

loloray wrote: »

But I hate him! I try not to eat with things that I hate.

I know, I know. But you can lull him into a false sense of security, invite him to the cinema then lock him out when he goes to get into the taxi.

loloray

phasers wrote: »

I know, I know. But you can lull him into a false sense of security, invite him to the cinema then lock him out when he goes to get into the taxi.

Ok I'm gonna try that now.

Abi

Deleted User wrote: »

Get one can of hair spray and a lighter, instant flamethrower, shoot it down.

I like that :pac:


Never a damn fly around when you need one.

Kernel

Whatever you do, don't use the teleporter.

rotinaj

Throw your laptop/desktop/moblie or what ever it is that you are using to post here. Then everyone will be a winner. Fly will be dead and we wont need to look at stupid threads again.

phasers

loloray wrote: »

Ok I'm gonna try that now.

Good luck! Remember, you have to build up his trust because he probably knows that you hate him by now