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when did men get so clueless with chat up lines???

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245

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Mrmoe wrote: »
    It was you wasn't it?

    I wish!


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    #33
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Are you kidding me, OP?! That's a brilliant line he used!

    It's original, funny, and probably very true. It shall be my conversation starter for a long time now. Excellent stuff.


    The man was clearly very funny and a genuine character, and your friend turned him away?


    For shame.
    No she accepted a drink from him and chatted for a while, we laughed because it was so funny and silly really but a hello would ave done


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    #34
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    Nameajaysus wrote: »
    I once was asked ''d'ya wanna go halves on a condom? I'll take the inside, you take the outside.''

    :eek:

    see there are clueless, but i think some woman are 2 my sister once told a guy "tell tom dooley get his jacket his pulled"ur man taut all his birthdays had came at once:pac:


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    #35
    Captain-America
    Registered Users Posts: 1,391 ✭✭✭Captain-America


    See, OP, he probably had a bet going with his mates that he could give any old line and still pull someone.

    He's probably out fifty euro.


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    #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    vanessamee wrote: »
    No she accepted a drink from him and chatted for a while, we laughed because it was so funny and silly really but a hello would ave done



    Oh... So what was the problem? He had a funny icebreaker, he used it, you laughed, and everyone lived happily ever after..? It gave you something to talk about. A job well done by the guy, I think. Better than a regular old "hello".

    It's not clueless, it's genius!

    :)


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    #37
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    vanessamee wrote: »
    No she accepted a drink from him and chatted for a while, we laughed because it was so funny and silly really but a hello would ave done

    So your saying it worked?


    OK, maybe he didn't give her the hot Beef injection, but it got the conversation started?


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    #38
    Greyfox
    Registered Users Posts: 3,722 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    vanessamee wrote: »
    Was out this evening with my friends when a guy came up to one of my friends and asked her did she know that lidis toilet paper blocks your sceptic tank we all burst out laughing and he asked her would she like a drink, its got to be the worst chat up line ive ever heard .

    any one got worse ones!!!:eek:

    Well at least he didn't use a chat-up line. It was a really terrible thing to say but at least it was original and he got a laugh out of you and he started a conversation which is a lot better than not approaching women at all like some men!


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    #39
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Oh... So what was the problem? He had a funny icebreaker, he used it, you laughed, and everyone lived happily ever after..? It gave you something to talk about. A job well done by the guy, I think. Better than a regular old "hello".

    It's not clueless, it's genius!

    :)

    Well outta all the things he could have said he decided on that like surely he could have have came up with some better


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    #40
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    well she only talked to him because my other friend taught it actually did block toliets ha plus he was a nice guy but he wont be chattig to her again:pac:


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    #41
    Greyfox
    Registered Users Posts: 3,722 ✭✭✭Greyfox


    vanessamee wrote: »
    Well outta all the things he could have said he decided on that like surely he could have have came up with some better

    Yes but if he had of spent a few minutes thinking of something better to say he would run the risk of someone else getting in their befor him or you's running off to the dancefloor...sometimes when guys say such nonsense it tells the girl that "I'm here to just have a laugh" and not desperately trying to score...at least the guy wasn't boreing!


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    #42
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Captain-America wrote: »
    See, OP, he probably had a bet going with his mates that he could give any old line and still pull someone.

    He's probably out fifty euro.

    I doubt he's got €50 to fritter away if he's using Lidl toilet paper.


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    #43
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    Ainsley Huge Labyrinth wrote: »
    I doubt he's got €50 to fritter away if he's using Lidl toilet paper.


    So true!:pac:


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    #44
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    The best way to chat up women is to start with a compliment, such as "Hi, you look just like my Mother".
    Once you've got her hooked get her talking about her interests.
    For example, ask her if she prefers knitting or sewing.

    It's also important to let the girl know that you're not afraid to splash the cash.
    Tell her that if she married you that you'd be straight down the Co-op to buy her a new cooker, washing machine and ironing board.

    Finally when it's time to seal the deal devastate her with yet another irresistable compliment, such as "jaysus but don't you have a powerful set of child bearing hips on ya".
    Then ask her if "she's shiftin", stick in the head and she's all yours...


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    #45
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    I've discovered that women love sensitive musicians like Chris Martin, Jeff Buckley and Justin Timberlake so I simply approach them speaking in a high-register falsetto like a eunich. Drives them wild so it does.


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    #46
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »
    The best way to chat up women is to start with a compliment, such as "Hi, you look just like my Mother".
    Once you've got her hooked get her talking about her interests.
    For example, ask her if she prefers knitting or sewing.

    It's also important to let the girl know that you're not afraid to splash the cash.
    Tell her that if she married you that you'd be straight down the Co-op to buy her a new cooker, washing machine and ironing board.

    Finally when it's time to seal the deal devastate her with yet another irresistable compliment, such as "jaysus but don't you have a powerful set of child bearing hips on ya".
    Then ask her if "she's shiftin", stick in the head and she's all yours...

    Ya and dont forget the chains to tie her up to the kitchen and bedroom
    you must ave a good woman ta take your charming bull:p


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    #47
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    bronte wrote: »
    "I'd leave you like a painter's radio"

    Made me question my sexuality.

    some one walked over and said that to you ?

    :D:pac:


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    #48
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,133 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    'You're so ugly, theres a 95% chance I'll be eating your face in 5 minutes.'


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    #49
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    cherryghost wrote: »
    'You're so ugly, theres a 95% chance I'll be eating your face in 5 minutes.'

    What did you reply?


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    #50
    cherryghost
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 17,133 Mod ✭✭✭✭cherryghost


    it was a friend who was approached. she kicked him the balls. :pac:


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    #51
    vanessamee
    Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭vanessamee


    cherryghost wrote: »
    it was a friend who was approached. she kicked him the balls. :pac:

    |Fair play to her would have loved to ave seen his face i bet priceless:pac::pac:


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    #52
    JCDUB
    Registered Users Posts: 1,225 ✭✭✭JCDUB


    Do ya like flowers pet??

    Yes...

    Well hows about gettin your tulips around me cock?

    Also..

    Do ya like wine gums?

    Yes..

    Well wind your gums around this baby.


    Both courtesy of Sidney Smutt aka Sid the Sexist from Viz.
    BTW I've never used either, and never would, just thought I'd share with yis for a laugh.
    In fact, I've never used a chat up line full stop. They're a sign of lack of confidence if you ask me, If you don't have something original to say, then don't say anything.


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    #53
    KevinVonSpiel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 522 ✭✭✭KevinVonSpiel


    Worst/best story I've heard is about a 'friend' of mine who bumps into a girl he likes, knows well enough to say hello, says 'hi' & then hears himself fart..


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    #54
    spudster101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 68 ✭✭spudster101


    vanessamee wrote: »
    Was out this evening with my friends when a guy came up to one of my friends and asked her did she know that lidis toilet paper blocks your sceptic tank we all burst out laughing and he asked her would she like a drink, its got to be the worst chat up line ive ever heard .

    any one got worse ones!!!:eek:

    Chat up lines are gone to s**t


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    #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Is your dad a baker?

    'Cause it looks like you've a bun in the oven.

    Works all the time.


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    #56
    Mossy Monk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    vanessamee wrote: »
    Was out this evening with my friends when a guy came up to one of my friends and asked her did she know that lidis toilet paper blocks your sceptic tank we all burst out laughing and he asked her would she like a drink, its got to be the worst chat up line ive ever heard .

    I think it is genius.


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    #57
    0ubliette
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,643 ✭✭✭0ubliette


    another example of irish women and their ridiculous high standards. If he can afford to buy his sh!t paper in lidl, hes good enough for your mate


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    #58
    ShooterSF
    Registered Users Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    vanessamee wrote: »
    well she only talked to him because my other friend taught it actually did block toliets ha plus he was a nice guy but he wont be chattig to her again:pac:

    Another fallen comrade. :( If only he took Terry's advice and followed the tried and tested asshole approach.


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    #59
    994
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭994


    vanessamee wrote: »
    |Fair play to her would have loved to ave seen his face i bet priceless:pac::pac:

    LOL because female-on-male violence is automatically HILARIOUS :mad:


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    #60
    Turd Ferguson
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,193 ✭✭✭Turd Ferguson


    I started a conversation with a womanz that went along the lines of "Oh my God. You look like you're only 12....I like that" I ended up going out with her for a few months :D


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    #61
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    vanessamee wrote: »
    Was out this evening with my friends when a guy came up to one of my friends and asked her did she know that lidis toilet paper blocks your sceptic tank we all burst out laughing and he asked her would she like a drink, its got to be the worst chat up line ive ever heard .

    any one got worse ones!!!:eek:

    Probably around the same time 90% of women decided to leave the whole "first contact" thing up to men all the time.


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