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Stupidist thing a scumbag has said or done?

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2

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    #32
    itsallaboutheL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL


    chickenhawk wrote: »
    You sound like you deserved it. Why would you call some stranger 'brother'??


    Trying to comunicate on a his level...

    it was more of a

    "Welllllllll bruddder anee chance ofa liiiter, for a secind"

    read in a limerick accent!

    and i didn't for one second say i didn't deserve it, shouldn't have talked to him in the first place.


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    #33
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Jesus christ. Are you people insane?


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    #34
    Red_Marauder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,175 ✭✭✭Red_Marauder


    chickenhawk wrote: »
    You sound like you deserved it. Why would you call some stranger 'brother'??
    Maybe he is streeet.


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    #35
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    dr.bollocko wrote: »
    Jesus christ. Are you people insane?

    LOL AH and "insane" - Silly question!
    I for one am not but my other split personality disagrees! :D


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    #36
    Pighead
    Registered Users Posts: 14,184 ✭✭✭✭Pighead


    Ciaran500 wrote: »
    Sounds a little familiar ;) - http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=52153736&postcount=3

    I have a feeling Pighead might be making stories up just to be funny :eek:
    Nope, it's all true buddy. It's just an unfortunate fact of life that people are always mixing up spoonerisms and malapropisms. It's a curse.


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    #37
    Aidric
    Registered Users Posts: 13,589 ✭✭✭✭Aidric


    A scumbag offered me some sh1t hot drugs in a club one night. I took him up on his offer before he got the chance to be offended.


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    #38
    delllat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭delllat


    chickenhawk wrote: »
    You sound like you deserved it. Why would you call some stranger 'brother'??

    if he was blak ,obviously !


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    #39
    delllat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭delllat


    itsallaboutheL wrote: »
    Trying to comunicate on a his level...

    it was more of a

    "Welllllllll bruddder anee chance ofa liiiter, for a secind"

    read in a limerick accent!

    and i didn't for one second say i didn't deserve it, shouldn't have talked to him in the first place.

    you shouldnt have turned your back on some one you just called a illiterate knacker which wearing your "mr strong" t shirt

    brother


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    #40
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    chickenhawk wrote: »
    You sound like you deserved it. Why would you call some stranger 'brother'??


    Because he's this guy


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    #41
    jojobrad
    Registered Users Posts: 62 ✭✭jojobrad


    raptorman wrote: »
    Two traveler women were drinking in a bar and one was asking to the other to go to a night club. The conversation went a bit like this:
    (Names made up)

    Betty: Come out it will be great craic.
    Debbi: No no no.
    Betty: c'mon c'mon...
    Debbi: No no he's at home with the childer I'll be bet
    Betty: C'mon out, sure take the baitin' tomorrow, take the baitin'

    Possibly the funniest and saddest thing I've ever heard.
    No just sad !


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    #42
    King of Kings
    Registered Users Posts: 1,695 ✭✭✭King of Kings


    i was walking up camden street and there was a hot girl on front of me
    one of them ran across the road and shouted at her "i'd **** the fallopian tubes off you" and ran back

    it had me in tears.


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    #43
    overexcitedaj
    Registered Users Posts: 976 ✭✭✭overexcitedaj


    Was on A dublin bus a few years back and a child was standing on the seat infront of me and just being a bit hyper. ad the mother said "sii down Jacinta"
    The child says ha? . results in her mother giving her a slap and saying " its not haa. Its Wha."
    i also heard from my friend that he was at the cinema one night and these 2 where arguing. The woman yelps out "you dont love me" to which the man replied " sure i does love you. Dont i Ride ya and buy ya chips"


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    #44
    tororosso
    Registered Users Posts: 437 ✭✭tororosso


    King of Kings wrote: »
    i was walking up camden street and there was a hot girl on front of me
    one of them ran across the road and shouted at her "i'd **** the fallopian tubes off you" and ran back

    it had me in tears.

    ROFL that made me laugh too :D Can just picture him doing that!!
    Poor girl though :(
    remember a howiya coming up to me at a reception desk to check if he had left some "important" stuff in the public toilets the day before. Went like this:
    "Howiya, I was in the toilets yesterday but I was out of it and tink I left a plastic bag in there when I woke up!! Do you 'ave it
    ?!"
    Just looked at him in disbelief:rolleyes: (drugs being a problem there of course:mad:)


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    #45
    BlueSpiral
    Closed Accounts Posts: 735 ✭✭✭BlueSpiral


    Caaaarla: Wha'tz that pathetic thing? Ya know, fallacy?
    Deirdre: Pathetic fallacy is when someone is sad it begins to rain or when they are happy its sunny.
    Caaaarla: Oh.... is that real life?


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    #46
    Mr. Presentable
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    dr.bollocko wrote: »
    Jesus christ. Are you people insane?

    Not insane, good dr.

    Unsane!


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    #47
    El Siglo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    All scumbags pose a question for society. They should be sent to re-education camps where they can develop better concentration in order perfect a solution that is final regarding our current problems.;)


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    #48
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »
    Scumbag / skanger threads seem to be all the rage these days so here goes.
    What's the stupidest, dumbest most idiotic thing you've seen/heard a scumbag doing, saying, etc?

    Two spring to mind.

    I was in the Palace on Camden St. years ago and got started on by two scumbags at the bar.
    Things got heated and the scummiest looking of the two picked up his pint glass and went to smash it off the bar,
    obviously in an attempt to fashion a weapon of sorts.
    Trouble was, it was a plastic pint glass.
    I was able to slip away as the idiot's friend berated his friend's shamful scumming abilities.

    Another time I was standing outside a shop in Dublin when I heard a girl exclaim in panic, "quick Jacinta, look, it's a bleedin tornado!"
    Alas, there was no tornado, just some boring old smoke coming out of one of the Sandymount Towers.
    The actual tower itself was obscured from her view by a double-decker bus.

    Jacinta is too much of a steriotypical "scumbag" name. Was believing ya there til ya mentioned that name !!


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    #49
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Indeed. 'Cinta ant Anto from Pram Springs.

    I haven't had many dealings with them. I was asked before by one "are yer roydin?" Ew.

    Well...Are ya ? haha


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    #50
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    King of Kings wrote: »
    i was walking up camden street and there was a hot girl on front of me
    one of them ran across the road and shouted at her "i'd **** the fallopian tubes off you" and ran back

    it had me in tears.

    Ah the aul classics never get old haha


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    #51
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    Walking up Henry st one night myself(6f2 and 15 st) and my friend (6f4 and 18st)

    A weedy junkie type lad steps out of a shop doorway infront of us and says "heeeer ....cmere...lads now im not gonna mug yis righhh.....jenowerimean .....righhh ....but...any chance of a...............

    We never did get to hear the rest of his story as he was told politely to fcuk off:D


    Another time a lad( i think it may have been a relation of the above) was caught in the act trying to jammie open the door of a mates van with a key in the lock

    When he was asked wtf was he doing...?apparently he was trying to straighten his key as it was bent :rolleyes:


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    #52
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    One my mate told me last summer...

    2 smack heads lyin on the grass on a sunny day, one shouted out "awwww man its like being in spaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnn !! haha

    On o'connell st some lil knacker bird walked upta me mate and asked her for a smoke and i said to her, "bit young to be smokin arent ya" and she replied to me "heore you ya zope, im '16' ill get me fella to batter yaaa!!!! " True story !! Is 16 the new law now or something ???


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    #53
    Hobart
    Registered Users Posts: 4,839 ✭✭✭Hobart


    http://www.indymedia.ie/attachments/feb2007/whizz.jpg Riots in Dublin 2007.


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    #54
    My name is URL
    Registered Users Posts: 25,068 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    El Siglo wrote: »
    All scumbags pose a question for society. They should be sent to re-education camps where they can develop better concentration in order perfect a solution that is final regarding our current problems.;)

    Mystic Meg, is that you?


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    #55
    punchdrunk
    Registered Users Posts: 3,355 ✭✭✭punchdrunk


    was on the Luas this morning and when I got on at Heuston there was clearly two gougers on my carriage,talking about their scanger mate Od'ing and doing chin-ups on the bars
    anyways at collin's on gets an inspector and one of the two spurts out
    "sorry bud we had to run for the luas,here's 80c for the two of us"
    clearly they got on ages ago and this is horse ****e
    the inspector is having none of it
    the other one is getting mouthy saying he's in court at half ten,that's why they didn't pay cause they were in a rush,giving it loads the little ****ehawk

    inspector asks for proof of I.D from them both,they fumble around with stubbed out joints in hand,pockets coming up empty
    both say they are 16 but they have no I.D on them
    "then how are you going to court if you don't have I.D?" he asks...
    lips quiver as they search for an answer....nope! no excuse...
    STUNG!
    so he marches the two of them off the Luas when it gets to the four courts up to court 44 himself to see the judge!

    ah the sweet smell of victory :pac:


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    #56
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    dylano_k wrote: »
    Jacinta is too much of a steriotypical "scumbag" name. Was believing ya there til ya mentioned that name !!

    Well that's the way it happened my friend.
    The reason Jacinta, Tracey, Sharon, etc are stereotypical is because they're so widely used in 'notWorking Class' areas.
    Surely it would be less believable if the heroine of my story didn't have one of those names.
    Would you have found my story more credible if I'd altered the name to something like Agatha?


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    #57
    P.C.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,782 ✭✭✭P.C.


    A couple of years ago, in a shop, I was asked by an itinerant - 'What you lookin at?'
    To which I responded - 'You, why?'

    The itinerant stood there for about 30 seconds thinking of a suitable reply - this was when I made my exit.

    I found out later that although my answer was correct, it was not suitable for this situation. :D


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    #58
    Armin_Tamzarian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,833 ✭✭✭✭Armin_Tamzarian


    punchdrunk wrote: »
    "then how are you going to court if you don't have I.D?" he asks...
    lips quiver as they search for an answer....nope! no excuse...
    STUNG!

    You don't need ID to go to court.
    Who the hell's going to go to court pretending to be someone else?

    "Ahhh nice one, just got a nice 4 year stretch there, suckers never even suspected I was a phoney"... :confused:

    P.S. I'd love to see a Luas Inspector bursting into a district court shouting, "hold everything, I've got 2 fare dodgers here!"


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    #59
    120_Minutes
    Registered Users Posts: 4,706 ✭✭✭120_Minutes


    El Siglo wrote: »
    All scumbags pose a question for society. They should be sent to re-education camps where they can develop better concentration in order perfect a solution that is final regarding our current problems.;)

    your theory intrigues me, and i wish to susbscribe to your newsletter.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8C7ZTbsF-E


    he likes riding hippos, she likes it when her "gowl" is filled.


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    #60
    dylano_k
    Registered Users Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »
    Well that's the way it happened my friend.
    The reason Jacinta, Tracey, Sharon, etc are stereotypical is because they're so widely used in 'notWorking Class' areas.
    Surely it would be less believable if the heroine of my story didn't have one of those names.
    Would you have found my story more credible if I'd altered the name to something like Agatha?

    Agathe?? yeh i would have even 'thanked' ya on the post !!


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    #61
    Hauk
    Registered Users Posts: 588 ✭✭✭Hauk


    My favourite one was in primary school.

    Christoper didn't turn up for school in the morning as usual.

    Teacher: Christopher, why you weren't in this morning?? This is the 4th time this has happened.
    Christopher:     Teacher, I'm very sorry, I set the alarm for 8 but there's 10 in me family.


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