Girls saying/doing stereotypical "girly" things

apoch632

Friend of mine used to come out with some brilliant ones. We wrote them down

*Einstein's not Austrian, he's jewish
* I'm not drunk, I'm Scottish
*L: What's brown, round and sits in the corner?
S:A dead baby?
L: No, a naughty button. Why would a dead baby be brown?
S: Cos it's covered in ****!
*The nether regions, thats where Peter Pans from?
*Ooh I'd love a cup of toilet
* aw yeah Stevie Wonder, he's that famous golfer.
L: Shauna he's blind
S: A blind golfer?!
*I was sitting in class today and i looked down and though **** I'm not wearing a top
*I've got heartburn in my heart
*My hot chocolate would taste even better if I had mushrooms in it.
*Money does grow on trees because paper grows on trees
*We're brainwashing you right now
S: Good thing I don't have a brain to wash
*I think I'm having a heart attack, no wait I'm ok
*I like taking stuff off
*It's not my horny spot it just feels nice
* P: We have to do rabbit balls in class next week
S: A rabbit ball?
P:yeah, you know testicles
S: Oh I thought you meant a ball where you all dress up as rabbits
*Writhing in pain?! I always thought it was withering in pain.
*S you look shattered
S: No, I'm just tired
*You know the Quenn of Hearts and the Queen of Tarts no I mean the Queen of Spades
*That's the guy who shot JR....I mean he shot JFK. Wait was it JR who shot JFK?
*Like a hook on his hand like Captain Cook....d'oh...captain hook for the hook hand
*If you heard of someone you never heard of before
*I don't want to waste ink so I'm gonna use my pen...........cil
* I didn't think until I thought
*It isn't me who's trying to kill me
* That's terriblism
*Do buffalo crisps taste of buffalo?
* March? what the hell are you chatting about
* I always get stuff all over my face
*Oh I got to play with the new puppy. He's while good at soccer. He's better than me and I'm crap.
* You might as well be speaking German for all I know. Ha ha ha hee hee . Oh wait you do speak German.
* Are you a drug?
*I got a card with a hundred in it today.
S: A hundred cards?
* I was chatting to a lad last night and he said ........**** that's where my mind goes blank
* Aw lets pick pick blackberries and make strawberries
L: Strawberries?
S:da ha ha I meant jam
*Um yeah i'm looking for my home. da ha ha I mean my ham
* We're gorillas' ancestors
* Don't you think it's weird that the guy who invented dynamite got the Nobel peace prize?
*I thought that Hans van Christensen was Christenson Van Anderson.

S.I.R

ahh this thread is great but one thing on my mind...


theres two things i cant stand.


sexual discrimination in the workplace... and women. :rolleyes:

Acacia

jonny oxford wrote: »

Hiya

I told my girlfriend recently that I was going to a football match.

"Oh, who's playin?" she enquires.

"Kildare and Meath" I reply.

"Is that in the world cup?" she asks :eek:

That's not girly- that's just thick.

Pat Mustard

I dropped into the pub to have a swift half whilst giving the sister a lift home from town. Arsenal were playing. My sister said to me that she thought Arsene Wenger was 'so arrogant'. When I asked her why, she said 'because he named the club after himself?'

She is blonde.

Dudess

If a guy is willing to put easiness/generic blonde, tanned looks before brains and personality, he has absolutely no right to be whingeing about how dumb his girlfriend is.

LOL at the thickness of the opening quote...

Berty

Mingey wrote: »

They do? if it's women only, then how come you have seen it?

Its not locked like a private social club and its not as though you need breasts to apply to read it.

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Nah I really wouldn't! I did say it to one guy in the past, who I wasnt even serious about, and he was really really pissed off! learned my lesson - no-one wants to hear about that!

My GF and I often point out on the TV who we like. I told my GF I would like to fvck Gemma Atkinson and she said

"Why, she has really let herself go" to which I replied
"So what, I dont want to date her I just want to ride the t*ts of her".

You would want to be really insecure to get offended by the thought somebody might possibly be unfaithful to a celebrity*





*gemma atkinson not really "A" list but nice t*ts and a*s.


My GF did once have a dream I ran off with somebody called sonya and was very upset by it all day. Jesus fvcking christ, what the fvck is wrong with women?

midlandsmissus

not that you could blame the girl for not knowing where kildare is, what a dump!

midlandsmissus

God the guys I have been with must be really sensitive so, they went apesh*t if i even said some-one else other than them was good looking.

I remember saying someone on the dublin team was good looking once. Cue the guy going into a massive sulk and going 'f*cking dubs, sher theyre just a bunch of posers for wimmin ta look at'.

Now I know they are, but thats besides the story!!!:D

homerun_homer

midlandsmissus wrote: »

God the guys I have been with must be really sensitive so, they went apesh*t if i even said some-one else other than them was good looking.

I remember saying someone on the dublin team was good looking once. Cue the guy going into a massive sulk and going 'f*cking dubs, sher theyre just a bunch of posers for wimmin ta look at'.

Now I know they are, but thats besides the story!!!:D

Now if a girlfriend told me she fancied someone local or someone she knew then that is cause get a bit worried and maybe feel insecure, possibly go ape**** as you say - whatever floats your boat.
But come on - celebrity crushs etc are no cause to worry. Your ex's must be a bit insecure methinks.

BrickWall

Girls acting stupid is now seen as something equivalent to a badge of honour.

After all they are just GIRLIES. Sure half of them read nothing ither than heat magazine.

Pighead

BrickWall wrote: »

After all they are just GIRLIES. Sure half of them read nothing ither than heat magazine.

And the other half are saying that they're washing their hair whenever you ask them out on a date.

midlandsmissus

BrickWall wrote: »

Girls acting stupid is now seen as something equivalent to a badge of honour.

After all they are just GIRLIES. Sure half of them read nothing ither than heat magazine.

Sure men don't read. That's why the only magazines marketed at men are full of pictures and very little text, to help them get through it.

BrickWall

Pighead wrote: »

And the other half are saying that they're washing their hair whenever you ask them out on a date.

Pighead strikes again. Get over yourself, mate.

javaboy

BrickWall wrote: »

Pighead strikes again. Get over yourself, mate.

Long time listener, first time caller eh? :rolleyes:

BrickWall

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Sure men don't read. That's why the only magazines marketed at men are full of pictures and very little text, to help them get through it.

I suggest you go to Easons, love. You will find that 90% of magazines are aimed at "girlies".

I looked at FHM the other day, a more degraded pack of trash I have never seen.

4zn76tysfajdxp

Pighead wrote:

And the other half are saying that they're washing their hair whenever you ask them out on a date.

That's why I recommend asking out only bald women.

Berty

Girls do say stupid things and its the girls on a night out that think they are just fantastic looking and that all men drool over them like this example

I was out one night with the lads and was at the bar

I said

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question" to a nice looking girl at the bar
She said "Do you mind trying for somebody a little in your own league"
I said "Can you take your oversized hoof off of my foot?"
She said "whatever, didnt see you there"
I retorted "probably because of those crows feet around your eyes".

She was wildly impressed. B*tch

midlandsmissus

BrickWall wrote: »

I suggest you go to Easons, love. You will find that 90% of magazines are aimed at "girlies".

I looked at FHM the other day, a more degraded pack of trash I have never seen.

:rolleyes: eh I think you'll find my comment was in response to your comment about women only reading heat magazine. I assumed you were joking at which I was joking back.

Dont tell me you were serious??!!:eek::eek::D

BrickWall

Berty wrote: »

Girls do say stupid things and its the girls on a night out that think they are just fantastic looking and that all men drool over them like this example

I was out one night with the lads and was at the bar

I said

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question" to a nice looking girl at the bar
She said "Do you mind trying for somebody a little in your own league"
I said "Can you take your oversized hoof off of my foot?"
She said "whatever, didnt see you there"
I retorted "probably because of those crows feet around your eyes".

She was wildly impressed. B*tch

Good story, a lot of these burds are very jumped up. They think they are little stars, having "their time".

homerun_homer

Brickwall Vs Midlandmissus

Fight Fight Fight

javaboy

homerun_homer wrote: »

Brickwall Vs Midlandmissus

Fight Fight Fight

Midlandmissus wins by default.

Brickwall banned.

Turd Ferguson

homerun_homer wrote: »

C'mon.. like you'd never ever say Brad Pitt or George Clooney or Turd Ferguson is hot to your boyfriend?

FYP

midlandsmissus

Berty wrote: »

Girls do say stupid things and its the girls on a night out that think they are just fantastic looking and that all men drool over them like this example

I was out one night with the lads and was at the bar

I said

"Excuse me, can I ask you a question" to a nice looking girl at the bar
She said "Do you mind trying for somebody a little in your own league"
I said "Can you take your oversized hoof off of my foot?"
She said "whatever, didnt see you there"
I retorted "probably because of those crows feet around your eyes".

She was wildly impressed. B*tch

Woah i would never say that to a guy. But to be honest what guys dont understand is: when you're a young girl, if you're anyway halfway decent looking at all, you have a million guys coming on to you any time you go out. This is not because you're amazingly stunning or whatever, it's because, lets face it, guys are desperate for a s*ag. Thats why girls get pissed off at the end of the night with yet another guy coming up to them with a sleazy chat up line. there is nothing more annoying when you're trying to chat to your friends, and some other pissed lad comes up to ya and starts trying it on, (and usually groping you straight away) I might have said to guys some things along the lines of 'no leave me alone i'm not interested', but that would be as rude as I would go.

javaboy

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Woah i would never say that to a guy. But to be honest what guys dont understand is: when you're a young girl, if you're anyway halfway decent looking at all, you have a million guys coming on to you any time you go out.

Yeah but a pre-emptive strike like the one from Berty's story is out of order regardless. There's no excuse for that kind of attitude.

With that said @Berty why didn't you just ask her to move her foot instead of saying "Can I ask you a question"? It sounds like you were hoping for a putdown just so you could use your oversized hoof line.

Berty

javaboy wrote: »

Can I ask you a question"? It sounds like you were hoping for a putdown just so you could use your oversized hoof line.

Well, when you put it that way then I guess she was completely within her rights to step on my foot, not know about it and abuse me when I tried to ask her a question about why she is standing on my foot.

midlandsmissus

I know people male and female who said, "Can you use the euro in the rest of europe":eek:

Berty

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I know people male and female who said, "Can you use the euro in the rest of europe":eek:

I was told by a girl in a shop that I could not use that € in her shop because they only accepted Irish Euro money.

I could not believe it and other customers in the queue were agreeing with her and asking me to step aside. I didnt move an inch and demanded she accept my REAL money.

Silly girl.

Leeby

Leprachaun wrote: »

Was walking down the road with two mates.

One of mates spots a dead bird and goes: "Oh look, a dead bird"

My other friend,the girl, says : "Where?" and looks up into the sky.


We couldn't stop laughing at her for hours. :pac:

Ah here! That's a pretty well known blonde joke, is it not??

midlandsmissus wrote: »

eva green is nice and all, but saying that in front of your girlfriend - why? I never tell my boyfriend who I think is gorgeous.

Just asking for trouble!!

You'd have to have some serious issues to be upset by your partner thinking someone on the tv is hot! I know a girl like that, her boyfriend made a comment about Angelina Joli & she threw an absolute fit! It was hilarious!

apoch632 wrote: »

Friend of mine used to come out with some brilliant ones. We wrote them down

*The nether regions, thats where Peter Pans from?

And I'm pretty sure that's a quote from Friends. Maybe he acts dumb on purpose for entertainment??

Berty wrote: »

She said "Do you mind trying for somebody a little in your own league"

WTF?? What a bitch! Imagine going through life with an attitude like that!

gearoid_healy

gearoid_healy wrote: »

Oh people need to relax on this thread, only a bit of craic.

Thought this was funny - was sitting having a bit to eat with 2 girls and they were chatting about some girl they knew from school that was getting married...

Girl 1 - "So <whoever> if after getting engaged"
Girl 2 - "Really?! To who?"
Girl 1 - "To the son of my French teacher, Eoin. Reddan"
I smirk to myself thinking funny name, same as the rugby player
Girl 2 - "Oh right. And where are she living these days"
Girl 1 - "Over in London still, he plays rugby with a team over there. The London Wasps?".
I almost choke laughing with pancake in my mouth. Instead of saying she was marrying an international rugby player she said it was the son of her French teacher from school. Just thought it was funny.

Who's Eoin Reddan?

The Minstrel

gearoid_healy wrote: »

Girl 1 - "So <whoever> if after getting engaged"
Girl 2 - "Really?! To who?"
Girl 1 - "To the son of my French teacher, Eoin. Reddan"

I almost choke laughing with pancake in my mouth. Instead of saying she was marrying an international rugby player she said it was the son of her French teacher from school. Just thought it was funny.

Yeah but sure Eoin Reddan is hardly a big deal is he??? Can't blame the girls for that. It's not like it was Robbie Keane or Brian O'Driscoll. Kevin Kilbane would be bigger news than Eoin Reddan.