C&H sex discussion thread

ms-betsy

Hey, I'm sorry... I'm really crap at keeping up with these things but here, finally, is a reply!

It's not really simple logic, it's just a world view. To me, that attitude would be an over-glorification of virginity, and although you say you aren't religious, I'd imagine the origins of viewing your virginity as a "gift" are religious.

I just think this is kinda funny. I'm not at all trying to sound self righteous, but my view can't possibly be thought of as a world view after what you've seen in this forum... I totally respect everyone's opinions on sex but seeing as I'm the only one who seems to want to wait, could that not be considered almost the rebelious view, as opposed to the obvious "norm" of not waiting, as is seen in this thread?

Also, it's wierd, I know, but my opinions don't come from religion at all. I'm actually a big agnostic and amn't a fan of the church in any way, shape or form.

But in a three year relationship , with thoughts of marriage , if you are not ready , what makes you sure that having a wedding ring on your finger will change the intimacy and trust you have with that person.

Personally, I don't think sex with a person, having previously had sex with another person, is any lesser than sex with a person without previously having has sex with another person. ...Would you only go out with a virgin? As you are saving your own virginity as a gift, let's say you broke up with your current bf, and started going out with someone new, and they weren't a virgin but everything else was perfect, would it be a problem? Would you want that gift?

See, that's the thing. We are ready. We were ready a long time ago. I just don't beleive you have to have sex the second you feel you're ready. I see virginity (and by this I mean penetration) as something I'll only ever be able to give away once. So why not wait till your wedding night to give it away. Hopefully, you'll only marry once and I think it's a great gift to give to that person. I do realise that's just me. I wouldn't mind going out with any guy who wasn't a virgin as long as he understood and respected my views. It's a gift I want to give, it doesn't nesesarily matter to me that much if I don't get it back.

Also, obviously you can tell if you're sexually compatible with a person through foreplay and I don't think a person, if they really love you, would care that much if you had the experience of previous partners or not.

So many of my friends have had sex with their current partners just because their others freinds had done it. Just because of the pressure. They're all in complete shock that myself and my boyfriend haven't after 3 years. Sometimes I just feel like shouting what's the big deal?? It's okay to wait!

(By the way... really interesting discussion! )

JC 2K3

But why is it a "gift"? What makes penetration so special? You're right, what is the big deal?

And it is a world view, and I don't understand why you don't think it is... (A world view is a way of viewing the world, not necessarily a view a lot of people hold).

And what I mean by its origins being religious, is that fundamentally, the idea of virginity being in some way special or sacred comes from religion, not that you have to be religious to hold such a view.

cocoa

ms-betsy wrote: »

See, that's the thing. We are ready. We were ready a long time ago. I just don't beleive you have to have sex the second you feel you're ready. I see virginity (and by this I mean penetration) as something I'll only ever be able to give away once. So why not wait till your wedding night to give it away. Hopefully, you'll only marry once and I think it's a great gift to give to that person. I do realise that's just me. I wouldn't mind going out with any guy who wasn't a virgin as long as he understood and respected my views. It's a gift I want to give, it doesn't nesesarily matter to me that much if I don't get it back.

I don't think anyone ever said you had to have sex the second you were ready. I think it's more a matter of, once you are ready, why wait? This virginity as a gift thing, virginity is an idea that exists only in people's heads, it's nothing tangible or measurable. Personally, I am still a virgin, but I don't place any significance on that. If I go out with someone, I'll have sex with them when we're both ready and not before that. IF I then go out with someone else (after, obviously, breaking up with the first hypothetical person), the exact same rule would apply. I just don't see the difference between the first time and the twenty third time.

Well done on knowing that a gift is something you give, not something you exchange for something, or the same thing, back. So many people don't get that...

ms-betsy wrote: »

So many of my friends have had sex with their current partners just because their others freinds had done it. Just because of the pressure. They're all in complete shock that myself and my boyfriend haven't after 3 years. Sometimes I just feel like shouting what's the big deal?? It's okay to wait!

That's entirely the wrong reason IMO. There's only two places reasons for sex should come from, the two partners involved, no where else. It is ok to wait an d I don't think you're as alone as you think you are.

ms-betsy wrote: »

(By the way... really interesting discussion! )

yep, this discussion is nice

Why not wait? Well, because sex is fun, and if you both feel ready and love each other, why not have fun? I'm sure if I felt the same way about virginity I would see that as the reason but I just don't. Still, different strokes

Jesus Juice

JC 2K3 wrote: »

But why is it a "gift"? What makes penetration so special? You're right, what is the big deal?

And it is a world view, and I don't understand why you don't think it is... (A world view is a way of viewing the world, not necessarily a view a lot of people hold).

And what I mean by its origins being religious, is that fundamentally, the idea of virginity being in some way special or sacred comes from religion, not that you have to be religious to hold such a view.

Exactly,the whole point of existing is to reproduce before you die its human nature to want to have sex and yet religion suppresses this basic human urge!?...Personally Il have sex when my GF is ready but i don't really care when I can wait,its not a big deal at all!

Aisling(",)

I'm almost convinced school days are now designed to make you think about sex.
I'm pulling sexual aspects from most subjects

like today for example
Irish-teacher mentioned the sexual themes in an t-oilean
English-talking about lady macbeth and her un-sexing
Biology-plant sexual reproduction...why yes plants that travel by wind do have larger penisis stamens

Even study is getting me thinking of sex because its so boring gah!
i need to be cured its like a really annoying arousing affliction!!!:mad:

Jesus Juice

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I'm almost convinced school days are now designed to make you think about sex.
I'm pulling sexual aspects from most subjects

like today for example
Irish-teacher mentioned the sexual themes in an t-oilean
English-talking about lady macbeth and her un-sexing
Biology-plant sexual reproduction...why yes plants that travel by wind do have larger penisis stamens

Even study is getting me thinking of sex because its so boring gah!
i need to be cured its like a really annoying arousing affliction!!!:mad:

Welcome to a mans world....At least you dont have to hid boners!!:pac:

Aisling(",)

Jesus Juice wrote: »

Welcome to a mans world....At least you dont have to hid boners!!:pac:

yeah i suppose but im getting sick of not being able to concentrate on anything for more then 5 minutes!

Local-womanizer

Jesus Juice wrote: »

Welcome to a mans world....At least you dont have to hid boners!!:pac:

You hide yours


:pac:

Board Walker

some very interesting points being made in this topic. I can genuinely say that most of the guy's we all heard in our class back in school that were ranting on about the weekends sexual conquest's were talking through their holes! I didnt take down my V plates until i was 18. IMO 18 is the age you should take the plunge..... provided your goin out with someone of course. To be honest it is special and im sorry i didnt take my own advise.

when yer older some of ye will loose respect for sex... and just hop on what ever comes along, thats what i did and now i regret it deeply. I never got caught out with an infection or anyhing because i was always careful, but because of bed hopping the one girl i ever actually loved... when i eventually did sleep with her it ment nothing to me. it was just sex.... if i had not slept with anything i coud get my hands on then i'm sure it would have been 100 times the experience it was. I'm 26 and i can honestly say ive been with more than 50 women and i't the biggest regret of my life.

Professey Chin

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I'm almost convinced school days are now designed to make you think about sex.
I'm pulling sexual aspects from most subjects

like today for example
Irish-teacher mentioned the sexual themes in an t-oilean
English-talking about lady macbeth and her un-sexing
Biology-plant sexual reproduction...why yes plants that travel by wind do have larger penisis stamens

Even study is getting me thinking of sex because its so boring gah!
i need to be cured its like a really annoying arousing affliction!!!:mad:

I was never that bad in school
Youre just filthy and addicted :pac:

Yes.Its me again:P

Professey Chin

IMO there is no age you should take the "plunge" as it seems to be called
I was 17 when I did, no regrets from either of us. Couple girls since then(only regrets is one of them never evolved to anything more. Fugguckle )
Anyway, my point is screw the "what ages is right" mentality, screw the "gift" mentality, screw the "preciousness" mentality. Youll know when youre ready yourself, not when others tell you. Once you are and with someone you care about (and obviously whos ready too) then go nuts and enjoy yourself (while informed and careful too.Scares are bad things)

cocoa

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

IMO there is no age you should take the "plunge" as it seems to be called
I was 17 when I did, no regrets from either of us. Couple girls since then(only regrets is one of them never evolved to anything more. Fugguckle )
Anyway, my point is screw the "what ages is right" mentality, screw the "gift" mentality, screw the "preciousness" mentality. Youll know when youre ready yourself, not when others tell you. Once you are and with someone you care about (and obviously whos ready too) then go nuts and enjoy yourself (while informed and careful too.Scares are bad things)

couldn't agree more nail, head, some kind of violent motion.

Professey Chin

cocoa wrote: »

couldn't agree more nail, head, some kind of violent motion.

Thrusting? :pac:

TheCardHolder

I HaD SeX WiT m3 buRd aT 13 yan0o0o.

JK.


Great topic here, Nice to see teens being able to discuss such a subject in a mature manner.

Aisling(",)

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

I was never that bad in school
Youre just filthy and addicted :pac:

Yes.Its me again:P

YOU!!

well i know im not the only one.my mates are the same

Professey Chin

Aisling(",) wrote: »

YOU!!

well i know im not the only one.my mates are the same

Same applies then, just make it plural

Yes even make me us.Theres more then 1 in this head

TheCardHolder

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I'm almost convinced school days are now designed to make you think about sex.
I'm pulling sexual aspects from most subjects

like today for example
Irish-teacher mentioned the sexual themes in an t-oilean
English-talking about lady macbeth and her un-sexing
Biology-plant sexual reproduction...why yes plants that travel by wind do have larger penisis stamens

Even study is getting me thinking of sex because its so boring gah!
i need to be cured its like a really annoying arousing affliction!!!:mad:

Sex on the brain?
Welcome to my world!

Ayrtonf7

TheCardHolder wrote: »

Sex on the brain?
Welcome to my world!

Snap!

Although I think that could be said for alotta people, especially guys.

Ginja Ninja

Jesus Juice wrote: »

Welcome to a mans world....At least you dont have to hid boners!!:pac:

Why bother?let loose and see what happens {had to}

Aisling(",) wrote: »

yeah i suppose but im getting sick of not being able to concentrate on anything for more then 5 minutes!

are you a guy seriously? sex on the brain,not concentrating{most likely wnadering onto sex:YEP,your a dude

JC 2K3

sexism, etc.

Aisling(",)

Ginja Ninja wrote: »

are you a guy seriously? sex on the brain,not concentrating{most likely wnadering onto sex:YEP,your a dude

i'll have you know me and my lady bits can be just as easily distracted by sex as any male.

JC 2K3

I never thought I'd have to make a mod decision on a teen forum because the users weren't talking about sex enough...

But yeah, Ais and Ultimate Chin, go dtí The Den with you and your off topic banter! I'll move your posts.

Insect Overlord

Yes, now let us all get back on topic with some graphic and disturbing descriptions mature and responsible discussion of sex.

:cool:

Jesus Juice

Lyrics by a band called Brand New...its about sex but you wouldnt think it!:pac:
"Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"


Keep the noise low.
She doesn't wanna blow it.
Shaking head to toe
while your left hand does "the show me around."
Quickens your heartbeat.
It beats me straight into the ground.

You don't recover from a night like this.
A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless.
A hand moves in the dark to a zipper.
Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets
barely whisper, "This is so messed up."

Upon arrival the guests had all stared.
Dripping wet and clearly depressed,
he'd headed straight for the stairs.
No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch,
unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships.

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

He keeps his hands low.
He doesn't wanna blow it.
He's wet from head to toe and
his eyes give her the up and the down.
His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up.
But the body on the bed beckons forward
and he starts growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.

He is the lamb, she is the slaughter.
She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her.
Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect.
He whispers that he loves her,
but she's probably only looking for se-...

(Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.)

So much more than he could ever give.
A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He waits for it to end
and for the aching in his guts to subside.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

Up the stairs: the station where
the act becomes the art of growing up.

The fever, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell.
Die young and save yourself.
The tickle, the taste of...
It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself.

[Note: These are the lyrics to the album version of the song.
There is also a different version where chorus goes as:

"The people, the focus.
The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to settle.
Die young and save yourself.
They take all the taste out.
It used to be the reason that we're even, now it's choking me up.
Die young and save yourself."]

Fad

Jesus Juice wrote: »

Lyrics by a band called Brand New...its about sex but you wouldnt think it!:pac:
"Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades"

What? I didnt know Jesus Juice was an emo.................

:pac:

(I myself have been listening to an obscene amount of Brand New this week, Seventy Times Seven=Most bitter song ever)

(Eh on topicness.............Samurai Pizza Cats during sex?)

Jesus Juice

Fad wrote: »

What? I didnt know Jesus Juice was an emo.................

:pac:

(I myself have been listening to an obscene amount of Brand New this week, Seventy Times Seven=Most bitter song ever)

(Eh on topicness.............Samurai Pizza Cats during sex?)

Ha dont worry Im not I just cant get that damn song out of my head!!
Emoness is poisoning my ears...but it feels sooo good!:pac:
Il purge on Pantera later!:pac:

Ayrtonf7

So Ive been reading this topic for a while, and I get the feeling its gonna be a dissapointment either way ?

Piste

That depends on your expectations, if they're unrealistically high then yes it'll most likely be disappointing, but if you're laid back and don't but too much emphasis on it it'll be grand.

Insect Overlord

The first time will probably be disappointing in certain respects, but practice makes perfect

tolosenc

Disappointing as it was for me, it was still fun as hell. I mean, it's not a life-changing, earth-moving event, but I'd do it again, like :P