toy boys

beertons

^^^Don't knock it till you try it/them.......:D

Dudess

I've always gone for older guys but looking at some of the pics of early 20-something/late teen guys on this site - hubba hubba!
If I were single I would have absolutely no qualms about having a purely sexual fling with one of those guys, but I don't know if anything could come of it. A guy as young as that is likely to want to have fun rather than settle down.

Wibbs

Other than a bit of good old fashioned lust I think it depends on the emotional age of the guy more than his chronological age, if its a relationship you're seeking. In my experience and granted it's not a huge cross section or anything, I have known a couple of women who have gone for younger men. When I say younger I mean 30 odd year old woman with 20 odd year old guy. 6/7/8 year gap kinda thing. In the rare cases I've personally seen where it has worked, the guys were closer to the woman in emotional/sexual/life experience than their respective ages might suggest.

I've also noted one angle on this, where the older woman has become jaded with guys her own age and the innocence and lack of guile that a younger man promises is very appealing. They kinda hope to train them in:D or look to the younger guy to relive something missed or to wash away their own past. That has never worked in any I've seen. Certainly not in a healthy way. The guy always turns and usually not in a good way. Controlling behaviour from the guy is the usual reaction. Once he gets past the "ohmygodIcan'tbelieveIgother" phase the crap tends to start(unless he's naturally submissive and then that usually goes south from the woman's side).

The other bit is the different stages. OK we have the "why are women over 30 desperate" guff, but many women are conscious of wanting to start a family. A guy of 23 compared to a woman of 33 are poles apart. He's not even aware of time passing, until the woman presses him on it. Usually to no avail.

That stuff can happen with any couple and some older woman/younger guy couples work, but from what I've seen is really marked in those type of couples. If I had a daughter and she asked my advice I would advise her to steer clear of men who were obviously emotionally less mature than them unless she was just after some no strings attached hows your father.

John Mason

^^^^^^

OMG :eek: are you serious? That post is a load of rubbish.

I am 5 years older then my OH

Friend A is 10 years older then her BF

Friend B is 13 years older then her BF

Friend C is 5 years older then her husband

Friend D is 4 years older then her husband

Friend E is 4 years older then her husband

woo i just realised all my friends are with yonger men anyhoo, all these people have the perfect relationship from what i know.

people are not all the same and you cannot generalise that women only go with younger men, so they can fix them or like their innocent.


The amount of generalisation that goes on in this forum is shocking :rolleyes:

shellyboo

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

The amount of generalisation that goes on in this forum is shocking :rolleyes:

Quite...

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

woo i just realised all my friends are with yonger men anyhoo, all these people have the perfect relationship from what i know.

So what, now being with a younger man = perfect relationship? What Wibbs said was perfectly valid, and he wasn't making any sweeping generalisations, just observations. It's true that the vast majority of, say, 23 year old guys are not looking to settle down with a 33 year old woman, who's more than likely ready to marry and have kids. That's just common sense.

Dudess

Yeah, I'm gonna be settling in the next few years, a gorgeous 21-year-old guy would be fabulous and all for sex, but he'll more than likely want to have fun by having sex with lots of other women and partaying lots and travelling lots and maybe going back to college etc... and he'd be dead right.

minidazzler

Really now, between half of ye goin for old fogies, and the other half being cougars, where do Emotionally mature young lads stand in all this???

I still describe myself as a 19 year old boy, I know I am not a man, not willing to take any proper resonsibility, but looking for fun where I can find it.

Young girls my age, generally consider themselves "women", because boobs make you mature, remember I said generally not all. and alot like to go for older more Mature guys.

Mature women, ie Cougars, tend to go for the younger males who are still very immature, because to them it is all fun and games, however to an immature lad, they think that a sexual relationship is what a true relationship is, alot of young lads wouldn't realise they are a toy boy.

So my Question is, Me being a 19 yo, boy, with all these big fantastic Ideas that come with youth, who also happens to have the maturity level of someone who would be about 25, where the hell do we stand!!!

The Young immature girls annoy me, the young "mature" girls think that most young lads are immature, the Older ladies are lookin for babies, and the older cougars are looking for someone who is not mature.


Just tell me the truth, I am screwed aren't I.

Nevyn

Why would it be purely sexual ?
Why could it not be mental and emotional and a relation ship which for how ever long it lasts benefits the both of ye
and you come out of it both having learned and experienced new things ? or having rediscovered certain things ?

There has nearly* always been age gaps in the relationships I have been in over the years
and they have ranged from someone who was 16 years older then me to someone who was 12 years younger.

Age is not always an indicator of experience or maturity, yup sure as you get
older your tastes will get more refined and there are certain things you will
not put up with when dating someone but that doesn't mean you can rule out people based on age.

Cut of limits imho are daft, then again I tend to like odd and intresting people and they come in a range of ages, as long as they can keep up with me and have enough consideration and cop on that tends to be the bottom line rather then age.

Still it is funny how being a certain age and having kids can make people
make all sorts of daft assumptions when some times a girl just wanna have fun.

*( other then only two years between myself and the dad of my kids, yes classically he's the older one and well while the relationship didn't work we are friends have two wonderful brats )

Wibbs

shellyboo wrote: »

So what, now being with a younger man = perfect relationship? What Wibbs said was perfectly valid, and he wasn't making any sweeping generalisations, just observations. It's true that the vast majority of, say, 23 year old guys are not looking to settle down with a 33 year old woman, who's more than likely ready to marry and have kids. That's just common sense.

Exactly.

pink fluffy bunny appears to be even more guilty of generalisation than me(and that's a hard trick to pull off). You'll notice I said it was what I have observed in big age gap relationships specifically where the woman was in her 30's and the guy was in his 20's and where he was much less emotionally mature with a lot less life experience.

Then we come to your list. 4/5 years is simply not that big a gap, or enough of a gap that's going to throw an otherwise good relationship off. Particularly IME in cases where the woman is the more dominant. Come back to me in 5 years time and report how "perfect" the relationships have gone with friend A and B.

shellyboo

Wibbs wrote: »

4/5 years is simply not that big a gap, or enough of a gap that's going to throw an otherwise good relationship off.

Definitely. Unless we're talking 20 and 15, 5 years isn't really a huge gap when it comes to life experience. Once you're out of college and employed, it's all much of a muchness really, isn't it? So from age, say, 22 to 30 you're dealing with your peers essentially.

A Primal Nut

Older women are much more up for sex, including no strings attached, than younger girls which is why i like them; most of the women I've had sex with are a few years older.

Then, again, I'm sort of going out with a girl 5 years older than me (im 22) who isn't into the casual sex - we both like each other, but its unlikely to work.

Nevyn

minidazzler wrote: »

Really now, between half of ye goin for old fogies, and the other half being cougars, where do Emotionally mature young lads stand in all this???

I still describe myself as a 19 year old boy, I know I am not a man, not willing to take any proper resonsibility, but looking for fun where I can find it.

Young girls my age, generally consider themselves "women", because boobs make you mature, remember I said generally not all. and alot like to go for older more Mature guys.

Mature women, ie Cougars, tend to go for the younger males who are still very immature, because to them it is all fun and games, however to an immature lad, they think that a sexual relationship is what a true relationship is, alot of young lads wouldn't realise they are a toy boy.

So my Question is, Me being a 19 yo, boy, with all these big fantastic Ideas that come with youth, who also happens to have the maturity level of someone who would be about 25, where the hell do we stand!!!

The Young immature girls annoy me, the young "mature" girls think that most young lads are immature, the Older ladies are lookin for babies, and the older cougars are looking for someone who is not mature.


Just tell me the truth, I am screwed aren't I.

To begin with stop classifying women by their ages and stop making assumptions based on those classifications.

Not every 33 year old is looking for someone to have kids with.
Not every 23 year old is looking for an older man.
Not every 19/21 year old has her head up her own hole.
Not every woman who would consider dating a younger guy is a cougar.

By all means be discerning but don't throw the baby out with the bath water,
figure out what you want at this stage in your life and find someone who you
are interested in who wants to do some those things too with you.

Dudess

Oh of course there'll be exceptions - the Boards member Chocolate Sauce springs to mind here. He's I think 21/22 and unbelievably mature for his age...

Lord Nikon

Madame Razz wrote: »

I have a self confessed 'thing' for older men.... but can never see myself going for a toyboy apart from some sexy time, and even at that I don't think it would last all that long.....still though, I guess it would all depend on the guy! Not something I'll have to worry about yet;think at 26 I'm prob a bit young for one, and happily attached at the mo; he's my senior by 9 years, practically a young 'un for me!!!

Your 26 and he is 35, in my opinion that is just not right, but then that is my opinion.

projectmayhem

minidazzler wrote: »

Just tell me the truth, I am screwed aren't I.

Just follow the doctrine from here and you'll be grand

Dudess

neuromancer wrote: »

Your 26 and he is 35, in my opinion that is just not right, but then that is my opinion.

But what's not right about it?

Nevyn

Dudess wrote: »

Oh of course there'll be exceptions - the Boards member Chocolate Sauce springs to mind here. He's I think 21/22 and unbelievably mature for his age...

There can be a vast difference in perceived maturity while posting online and actual maturity in person.

partyguinness

Previous g/friend was 5 years older..was with her for 2 years..by the time we broke up she was 33 and I was 28..it was a great relationship but I cldnt see myself marrying her so I had to finish it for her sake..she thought we wld get married etc so it was unfair of me to continue leading her on..but we got on brilliantly..never any arguments and the sex was fantastic..:D

My g/friend is 3 years older than me (I'm 30 and she is 33)...different story in the sense that we have discussed marriage and we we both want the same things..madly in love with each other...but we are conscious of the fact she is 33 and she is worried about leaving the children issue too late..plan on proposing in September..2 year anniversary..:)

I dont have a thing for older women just the way its panned out..;)

Dudess

Thaedydal wrote: »

There can be a vast difference in perceived maturity while posting online and actual maturity in person.

Poor Chocolate Sauce.

No, you're right of course. But there is something about his posts, the way he writes them, his views, stuff he's revealed about his personal life etc, which paint a picture of an exceedingly mature 21/22-year-old.

Madame Razz

neuromancer wrote: »

Your 26 and he is 35, in my opinion that is just not right, but then that is my opinion.

Well, He's in my bed and personally I have anything but a problem with that.

I am almost 27 and he is almost 35 actually but that's beside the point.

He's actually almost a young 'un for me, I have always gone for older men, that is my preference, not intentionally, but they are always the men most attractive to me, as indeed me to them.

Maybe you think I should be with a 28 year old becuae society tells me so??? Well I don't believe in conformity, people who conform are most often miserable.

I could not have walked away from the man I am with on the basis of his age, nor him me.

He satisfies me physically and mentally and emotionally, and I am not/would not give that up for the sake of what numbers are on his/my birth cert.

Added to which 8 years isn't even a decade, so i hardly see this as being a crazy age gap:rolleyes:

allabouteve

neuromancer wrote: »

Your 26 and he is 35, in my opinion that is just not right, but then that is my opinion.

My best relationship was with a man 16 years older, and this experience is mirrored by some of my friends, one of whom had a thing with a guy 18 years older, and another with a man 13 years older. We were all early twenties at the time.

The thing that broke two of the three relationships up was the family thing. I didn't want a much older father for any kids I have and with my friend it was his existing children that she felt she would be too responsible for since he was the only parent on the scene. She didn't feel ready to be the mother of teenagers by the time she would be in just her late twenties. The third one fizzled out because of just plain old sexual incompatibility.

Now that I'm a few years older, I find myself looking at the younger guys with a bit of a lustful eye, but it would be a purely physical thing since I think most young men in their early twenties have very little in common, in terms of life experience, with me.

Dudess

allabouteve wrote: »

My best relationship was with a man 16 years older, and this experience is mirrored by some of my friends, one of whom had a thing with a guy 18 years older, and another with a man 13 years older.

Currently, 12 years older. I've been with guys 14, 18 and 19 years older - and all were fantastic!

Yet only lately:

Now that I'm a few years older, I find myself looking at the younger guys with a bit of a lustful eye, but it would be a purely physical thing since I think most young men in their early twenties have very little in common, in terms of life experience, with me.

Exact same as me.

beertons

I've been to three weddings in the past two years, and the girl was always older than the boy, two years minimum. And a few of my OH's friends are married to young lads aswell, so it's not a new thing. I'm quiet flattered that I'm the younger one. She's flattered by the way I treat her.

Dudess

A guy who's two or three years younger isn't "toy boy" territory though - that's pretty much the same age.

beertons

Both parties get the same amount of slagging though, whether it's 2 or 10.

seanybiker

I'm 25 and my missus is 30. Been together almost 3 years now. She the bestest, me little princess. Bit of bloody money and I'd be getting married but sure, have shag all money so may aswell just drink what I have.

Dudess

beertons wrote: »

Both parties get the same amount of slagging though, whether it's 2 or 10.

Ah yes, the "the WOMAN is the older of the two - imagine!" syndrome... :rolleyes:

beertons

^Eh, what doesn that mean? I don't get it.

allabouteve

Dudess wrote: »

Ah yes, the "the WOMAN is the older of the two - imagine!" syndrome... :rolleyes:

You would think it wouldn't be remarkable in the 2000's but some things don't change.

beertons wrote: »

^Eh, what doesn that mean? I don't get it.

It means that no one would pass any comments if the man was only 3-4 years older, but if the WOMAN is, suddenly its funny, an issue, a joke, a laugh, and a slag off.

Dudess

In fairness, a guy who's older will get a bit of good-natured slagging - he'd probably have to be at least five years older, or perhaps in his 30s while his girlfriend is in her 20s.

But if a woman is even three years older, it's not even seen as something to have a bit of fun about, it's seen as weird, an issue, something perhaps to be avoided...