The Fathers Thread

somesoldiers

Hi lads
Just found this thread. The Mrs is due next week and is fretting more about parking around Holles St than anything else

We live in Maynooth and don't have any relations close so it will be drive ourselves or taxi, probably not taxi she's afraid of waters breaking mid journey.

It will all be dependent on the time of day of course, I'm not bothered, though I'm not driving very long, still on L, I have done a few dummy runs in and am comfortable with city driving. We have the app, so it will be a case of not forgetting to feed it or coming out and moving it when the time is up, simples..

Any gaping holes in my plan that as a first timer I could be missing?

seventeen sheep

As an inexperienced driver, it would not be ideal to drive in when you're stressed and in a rush and have a woman in labour in the back seat!

Personally, I got a taxi. I knew I'd probably have to, as I didn't have a car at the time. In preparation, in the weeks leading up, I got organised by having plenty of cash in the house (to cover fee plus potential spoilage fee - unlikely.) I had three large bin bags, two towels, several maternity pads, and a couple of small plastic bags (in case of vomit etc), a box of baby wipes. I made sure to ring the taxi in plenty of time. My waters had broken and I was having regular contractions. I explained to the driver that I was in labour, I put down the black plastic sheets on the passenger seat, with the towels on top. And I'd three maternity pads in (I didn't tell him that, though!) The journey into town (30 minutes ish) was grand, we were just chatting away while I timed my contractions on an app. I wasn't the first woman in labour he'd brought into holles st. Obviously he was able to use bus lanes etc (you wouldn't be able to in a car) so it was a very easy straightforward journey, and no parking metres to worry about. Would do it again next time.

One thing to remember if you do this is to keep an eye on the cash once you get to the hospital, as mentioned I had quite a bit just in case there was a soilage fee (no danger of that, with the bags and towels and pads, though.)

somesoldiers

Jesus wept, it sounds like in a gangster movie where they come in and cover the walls with plastic before they chop someone's head off!

Sounds like you had everything covered and we will definitely take your advice on board, thanks

January

I wouldn't drive either, especially if you're still on L's (is your wife full licensed driver?), whoever has to accompany you driving has to be able to control the car in case you cannot and I doubt your wife would be able to if she's in labour.

seventeen sheep

somesoldiers wrote: »

Jesus wept, it sounds like in a gangster movie where they come in and cover the walls with plastic before they chop someone's head off!

Sounds like you had everything covered and we will definitely take your advice on board, thanks

Oh there was no need for most of it - the bags and towels were completely unnecessary in my case - but I hadn't had a baby before so wasn't sure what to expect. Best to be prepared anyways. I didn't vomit at all when in labour, but lots of women do, so it's a good idea to at least have a few small plastic bags and baby wipes (whether you travel in your own car or in a taxi.)

Supercell

somesoldiers wrote: »

Jesus wept, it sounds like in a gangster movie where they come in and cover the walls with plastic before they chop someone's head off!

Sounds like you had everything covered and we will definitely take your advice on board, thanks

Don't worry about it too much, there are 24 hours in the day and about three hours on 5 days of the 7 in a week , so chances are you wont be driving in a rush hour hopefully.
If you are in a rush hour then drive in the bus lanes if needed and don't drive like a madman. No matter how loud she is screaming (and she will, in fact its when the screaming turns to groans is when its starting to get close) its very unlikely that the baby is coming in the car.
For our last (second baby) my wife arrived at 10cm dilated and was rushed to a delivery room. It was about another hour before the baba decided to come out.
Park near the front door, let them take care of your wife and then move the car. They will tell you where to find her when you get back. Chances are you'll be in for a long wait anyhow.
Have the hospital bags packed about a month in advance so no last minute rush. Pack some snacks in there for yourself too, the nearest shop is a bit of a walk away and your partner is going to want you with her all the time in all likelihood, hungry tummy or not! There is no wifi in the hospital so get some on your phone to kill the time. Its not all action there believe me!

Best of luck and enjoy it all.

Pawwed Rig

New Tescos express on Pearse Street just down from Holles

seventeen sheep

Supercell wrote: »

Don't worry about it too much, there are 24 hours in the day and about three hours on 5 days of the 7 in a week , so chances are you wont be driving in a rush hour hopefully.
If you are in a rush hour then drive in the bus lanes if needed and don't drive like a madman. No matter how loud she is screaming (and she will, in fact its when the screaming turns to groans is when its starting to get close) its very unlikely that the baby is coming in the car.
For our last (second baby) my wife arrived at 10cm dilated and was rushed to a delivery room. It was about another hour before the baba decided to come out.
Park near the front door, let them take care of your wife and then move the car. They will tell you where to find her when you get back. Chances are you'll be in for a long wait anyhow.
Have the hospital bags packed about a month in advance so no last minute rush. Pack some snacks in there for yourself too, the nearest shop is a bit of a walk away and your partner is going to want you with her all the time in all likelihood, hungry tummy or not! There is no wifi in the hospital so get some on your phone to kill the time. Its not all action there believe me!

Best of luck and enjoy it all.

As mentioned above, he's not meant to be driving without a fully licensed driver who'd be able to take over for him if/when necessary.

I don't think it's advisable to be encouraging him to plan to do so - especially in a stressful situation.

I also don't think it's advisable to encourage him to illegally use bus lanes in such a situation - especially since it'll possibly even lead to delays, with other drivers unwilling to let an L-plate driver driving in the bus lanes back into the the driving lanes.

As a driver who depends on other drivers for my safety and for my baby's safety - I'd rather not share the roads I drive on with an unsupervised learner driver under the stress of having his missus in labour in the same car.

Would the OP like to encounter a similarly inexperienced and stressed driver on the road, when he's driving his little bundle back home from the hospital? Or would he rather the other driver do the safe sensible thing, and plan to travel by taxi?

Axel Lamp

Any labour ward tips lads? Clothes, snacks, etc practical things.

seventeen sheep

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Any labour ward tips lads? Clothes, snacks, etc practical things.

Money for parking meters, change (or two) of Tshirts, one of those portable phone chargers just in case, change of socks in case you're in there a while, energy bars, Lucozade, camera, back-up camera. Oh and remember to use the cameras, my son's father didn't, and unfortunately you don't get a second chance to capture those precious few moments forever!

Coopaloop

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Any labour ward tips lads? Clothes, snacks, etc practical things.

phone charger
Money,lose change for vending machine
Change of t shirt, boxers, toothbrush, deodorant.
Camera maybe
Basically just be there for your partner, do what they ask, my boyfriend felt fairly useless he told me, since I didn't like lots of talk or touching during the birth, you kinda get in a zone, but to be honest just having him there to hold my hand was enough.

Oh if you have a birth plan make sure you know all about it so you can speak up for your partner during the labour, like if she had decided she didn't want a particular pain killer etc...

Best of luck.

BlazingSaddler

Hi chaps, we took our new little fella home from Holles Street yesterday for the first time. This is our third after quite a long gap (6 years) so it's just like starting all over again. Quite daunting actually. Not sure how we're going to get him to sleep tonight. He doesn't like being put down and he's already taken a shine to a soother which he spits out and then cries!
Has anybody else been in Holles Street? they've closed down the Coffee Shop and Baby shops which I think is really sad.

tempnam

Jesus lads you're all very organised!

When our daughter came along we had the hospital bag ready for my wife but all I had with me was my phone, wallet & car keys.... As far as clothes went I was just wearing a t-shirt & shorts and sandals!

Having said that though she made me go and get a pizza before bringing her in to the hospital!! "If I'm gonna be in there for hours I want to make sure I'm not starving!" were her words to me! haha.

Anyway, our little one will be 2 this summer - where has the time gone?!

We're also expecting a new arrival towards the end of this year. It's very early days yet (4 - 6-ish weeks) so we haven't told anyone other than immediate family until we have a scan & get it confirmed that everything's OK.

To say I'm over the moon is an understatement!

Neyite

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Any labour ward tips lads? Clothes, snacks, etc practical things.

Pack paracetamol for yourself. Hospitals are very warm and you can get headachy easily, but as you are not the patient, you'll not be given anything if you had a headache.

Maybe a travel toothbrush & toothpaste in case you are in a while and want to freshen up.

Axel Lamp

seventeen sheep wrote: »

Money for parking meters, change (or two) of Tshirts, one of those portable phone chargers just in case, change of socks in case you're in there a while, energy bars, Lucozade, camera, back-up camera. Oh and remember to use the cameras, my son's father didn't, and unfortunately you don't get a second chance to capture those precious few moments forever!

Coopaloop wrote: »

phone charger
Money,lose change for vending machine
Change of t shirt, boxers, toothbrush, deodorant.
Camera maybe
Basically just be there for your partner, do what they ask, my boyfriend felt fairly useless he told me, since I didn't like lots of talk or touching during the birth, you kinda get in a zone, but to be honest just having him there to hold my hand was enough.

Oh if you have a birth plan make sure you know all about it so you can speak up for your partner during the labour, like if she had decided she didn't want a particular pain killer etc...

Best of luck.

Neyite wrote: »

Pack paracetamol for yourself. Hospitals are very warm and you can get headachy easily, but as you are not the patient, you'll not be given anything if you had a headache.

Maybe a travel toothbrush & toothpaste in case you are in a while and want to freshen up.

Thanks again all, especially on the paracetamol, deffo would never have thought of that.

tempnam

We had a scan on Friday. 7 weeks. Could see the little heartbeat and everything!

It's tough not telling people!

BTW - what's the reason behind the whole 'not telling people until 12 weeks' does anyone know? Am I correct in assuming that it's because of the higher risk early on? - so people avoid saying anything in case something happens and don't want to risk a lot of questions further down the line?

seamus

tempnam wrote: »

BTW - what's the reason behind the whole 'not telling people until 12 weeks' does anyone know? Am I correct in assuming that it's because of the higher risk early on? - so people avoid saying anything in case something happens and don't want to risk a lot of questions further down the line?

There are probably a few different viewpoints on it.

The first would be the view that you tell people, the whole family gets excited, your friends get excited, people start buying you stuff.
And if the pregnancy miscarries, then aside from then having to break that news (on top of your own pain), you have a number of weeks where people ask, "how is pregnancy going", and you have to continually recount it to them, not just to friends, but to your auntie's next-door-neighbour's daughter who heard through the grapevine five months ago that you were pregnant, etc.
In this scenario, you tell no-one and then you can let them know if you miscarry. I guess the latter is the "easier" of the two for many people. Though I have had family members have a "family only" rule up to 12 weeks and when they did miscarry the whole family were there to comfort them as it felt like a shared loss.

There is the much older viewpoint of course that a miscarried child doesn't really count and should be swept under the carpet and treated just barely more seriously than a heavy period.

Neyite

tempnam wrote: »

We had a scan on Friday. 7 weeks. Could see the little heartbeat and everything!

It's tough not telling people!

BTW - what's the reason behind the whole 'not telling people until 12 weeks' does anyone know? Am I correct in assuming that it's because of the higher risk early on? - so people avoid saying anything in case something happens and don't want to risk a lot of questions further down the line?

Pretty much that in a nutshell. The stats for miscarriage improve from week to week and by 12 weeks, the risk of miscarrying has lessened significantly. Most of the 'building' happens in this trimester, so by the time the second trimester starts, its mostly about growing and maturing to viability outside of the womb from that point on.

As well as that, its emotionally very hard when everyone you told a few weeks ago that you were expecting, you now have to tell them you miscarried.

tempnam

Thanks - yes we have told immediate family already, and a couple of friends - but have warned them that it's early days and we won't be making the news 'public' for a while.

ariana`

Part of it for me was that i thought the pregnancy would feel very long by telling people early on... once the bump appears it becomes the only thing people seem to think you are able to converse on so i like to delay that for a while by not going public. All to soon every joe soap (with the best of intentions of course) is commenting on the shape/size of bump, inquiring if you know the gender/have a preference etc... the same conversations get repeated so much in pregnancy, and while a bit of pregnancy/baby chat is lovely it can get tiresome as well, for me it's time enough to start that in the 2nd/3rd trimester when the bump is obvious and it can't be avoided.

Another consideration is some people may not want to tell their employer for a while for various reasons and depending on their work this might be easier when less people know.

And for me it was a lovely little shared secret between me and my partner.

But at the end of the day each to their own, some people broadcast when they're TTC!

Pawwed Rig

TTC anyone??

Coopaloop

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

TTC anyone??

At a guess, I think it stands for trying to conceive.

Neyite

Coopaloop wrote: »

At a guess, I think it stands for trying to conceive.

Yup, that's what it stands for. Well, in Parenting anyway.

Tough week there lads. Momma Dolla was admitted on Sunday with very heavy bleeding. I was just at the end of the vomiting bug. This is our first and that sense of fear is like nothing I've ever experienced before. They kept her in a private room on Sunday and brought me in a mattress. They really geared us up for the worst. The bleeding slowed down by the morning, but they kept her in again.

They let her home on Tuesday, which was great. She caught the vomiting bug then as well! On Wednesday she started to bleed again, so had to get a rush hour ambulance in.

They've found a clot, away from baby but won't let her out til it clears now. God knows when that'll be.

At least she's in great hands. I'm feckin wrecked with stress and about 16 hours sleep since Saturday!

Axel Lamp

Deleted User wrote: »

Tough week there lads. Momma Dolla was admitted on Sunday with very heavy bleeding. I was just at the end of the vomiting bug. This is our first and that sense of fear is like nothing I've ever experienced before. They kept her in a private room on Sunday and brought me in a mattress. They really geared us up for the worst. The bleeding slowed down by the morning, but they kept her in again.

They let her home on Tuesday, which was great. She caught the vomiting bug then as well! On Wednesday she started to bleed again, so had to get a rush hour ambulance in.

They've found a clot, away from baby but won't let her out til it clears now. God knows when that'll be.

At least she's in great hands. I'm feckin wrecked with stress and about 16 hours sleep since Saturday!

That's awful man but it could have been a whole lot worse....

Don't know how I would have dealt with being 'geared up for the worst'

Axel Lamp

Axel Lamp wrote: »

That's awful man but it could have been a whole lot worse....

Don't know how I would have dealt with being 'geared up for the worst'

I found a weird inner strength that was new. All for show for her tbh! She needed it. And I was amazed I could be that strong.

Both doing well. 18 more weeks to go!

youcancallmeal

The reason for 12 weeks is the chance of a miscarriage occurring drops massively after that. 80% of miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks, see first paragraph here http://www.babycenter.com/0_understanding-miscarriage_252.bc

tHE vAGGABOND

Early lunch purchased, and starting at page one of this thread! See you here in a few hours

marco_polo

seamus wrote: »

There are probably a few different viewpoints on it.

The first would be the view that you tell people, the whole family gets excited, your friends get excited, people start buying you stuff.
And if the pregnancy miscarries, then aside from then having to break that news (on top of your own pain), you have a number of weeks where people ask, "how is pregnancy going", and you have to continually recount it to them, not just to friends, but to your auntie's next-door-neighbour's daughter who heard through the grapevine five months ago that you were pregnant, etc.
In this scenario, you tell no-one and then you can let them know if you miscarry. I guess the latter is the "easier" of the two for many people. Though I have had family members have a "family only" rule up to 12 weeks and when they did miscarry the whole family were there to comfort them as it felt like a shared loss.

There is the much older viewpoint of course that a miscarried child doesn't really count and should be swept under the carpet and treated just barely more seriously than a heavy period.

I'd imagine the first is the main reason nowadays at least, from tough personal experience when the news has traveled far and wide already, a miscarrage, in our case well after 12 weeks leads to alot of very painful conversational reminders for months afterwards (Completely unintentionally of course from caring well meaning people who just haven't seen you in a while.)

In other news had a scan earlier this week and still early days but looking good so for our first later this year (Not really the first in our eyes mind). Hope we get a little more good luck this time around. Strange feeling excited again but also 1000x times more terrified

robinph

Just sitting about waiting for things to happen and for my phone to ring here. Have been told since the start that we won't go past 40 weeks and they will induce it before then and whilst it is good to know that something will definitely happen in a week and a bit the waiting about is driving us both a bit mad. She's going a bit stir crazy from being on leave now as well and sitting about the house getting bored.