The Fathers Thread

KERSPLAT!

That's the one! Thanks

The One Doctor

Well, the girlfriend is term on Thursday, 37 weeks. Almost everything is done. Anyone got any tips about labour/delivery? I've read lots and gone to the antenatals, it's all good stuff, but a few experiences from a dad's perspective would be very useful.

kronsich

The One Doctor wrote: »

Well, the girlfriend is term on Thursday, 37 weeks. Almost everything is done. Anyone got any tips about labour/delivery? I've read lots and gone to the antenatals, it's all good stuff, but a few experiences from a dad's perspective would be very useful.

My baba is almost five months now and all going well. I found the whole labour experience really tiring and upsetting. My wife was in a lot of pain and we were in the antenatal ward for about seven hours before the labour ward. We did a yoga for birth class and this was good as I knew how to help her during contractions. Once in the labour ward, she had the epidural and gas so all was good.

Number one tip: bring a cooler bag with food for yourself. They will feed your wife but you will go hungry as the cafe closes at 8pm and you probably won't be able to leave to get food anyway.

I spent most of the time standing so she could lean against me during contractions. I also spoke to her during the pains. You will learn when the pains are at a peak and when they are subsiding, she liked that I told her "that's the worst part over now" etc.
The hospital is really warm, even in winter I'd bring some light track bottoms and a jersey. Saw some lads in shirt/jeans and they looked to be suffering. Definitely a spare t shirt as you just never now. My wife had pethidine and I was into the second shirt after the first hour.

Good luck, the labour is short but the end result is just fantastic!!

The One Doctor

kronsich wrote: »

My baba is almost five months now and all going well. I found the whole labour experience really tiring and upsetting. My wife was in a lot of pain and we were in the antenatal ward for about seven hours before the labour ward. We did a yoga for birth class and this was good as I knew how to help her during contractions. Once in the labour ward, she had the epidural and gas so all was good.

Out of curiosity, at what point did you bring your partner into the hospital, i.e, how far along were her contractions? Assuming she wasn't induced, that is.

kronsich

Ah we had planned to wait until she was in established labour; had the birthing ball at home and said we wouldn't go until contractions were regular and spaced under ten mins apart. However, they started at 4am and by 9am she was quite distressed. I was afraid that the journey to the hospital would be too difficult if we waited longer.

Turned out she was not is established labour, hence the prenatal ward. Felt much safer in the hospital though so they could check her and baba.

hoody

Thanks kronsich some good tips there, I'm trying to anticipate how to be helpful during the labour but I guess soothing words and a hand for squeezing are about as much as can be done!

kronsich

Yeah sadly there's not much you can do to help. During early labor she will want to be siting up or standing for the contractions. Let her use you for balance and keep offering water. I had a face spray and she loved that.

Also, get a TENS machine. Absolutely a must!

tempnam

kronsich wrote: »

Yeah sadly there's not much you can do to help. During early labor she will want to be siting up or standing for the contractions. Let her use you for balance and keep offering water. I had a face spray and she loved that.

Also, get a TENS machine. Absolutely a must!

We had a TENS machine, and the missus ripped it off after a couple of minutes... it was "too annoying" for her

Also, be prepared to feel utterly useless! and for every single thing you do or say to be the wrong thing!!

youcancallmeal

tempnam wrote: »

We had a TENS machine, and the missus ripped it off after a couple of minutes... it was "too annoying" for her

Also, be prepared to feel utterly useless! and for every single thing you do or say to be the wrong thing!!

Yeah had the same experience with the tens machine, was glad we had only borrowed and not bought one. It does seem to work for some women though?

Kinet1c

Mrs swore that it helped her a lot.

CountingCrows

Did people with TENS machines rent them, and if so from where? I see you can rent them from Boots and online at www.babycaretens.ie, just wondering if all machines are the same or if some are better than others.

Mousewar

You can rent them in the hospital. At least you can in Holles St.

DUBACC

DUBACC wrote: »

Just found out wife is expecting number two - after losing two last year we are both petrified at the journey ahead. Hope it lasts longer than last year's pregnancies!! We have a lovely three year old who is dying to boss around a little brother or sister - hopefully third time lucky!

Had our 12 week scan today and there was junior jumping around like a mad thing. Both of us just bawled! Doc must have thought we were nuts!

robinph

Was awesome seeing the arms and legs waving around alright, just wish they had let me watch the screen for longer. Two scans done so far and back for another in the first week of January, can't wait to see the little one again.

CptMackey

My wife is just after having our first. a boy.

The feeling is unreal. Can't explain it at all.

They get heavy while you hold them too

KERSPLAT!

Congrats!!

We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then very excited!

Pawwed Rig

CptMackey wrote: »

My wife is just after having our first. a boy.

Congrats. Little boys are the best
Our little fellah is 9 months old now and he never stops smiling. You have a great time ahead of you

sallymomo

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Congrats!!

We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then very excited!

We are 5 weeks away!! Stuff just got real...

Congrats to everyone else, hope all goes well.
My exciting Friday night tonight is apparently packing my wifes bag for Holles Street...gulp!

CptMackey

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Congrats. Little boys are the best
Our little fellah is 9 months old now and he never stops smiling. You have a great time ahead of you

He is great really. He is fond of his sleep at the moment so I hope that will continue :pac:

Pawwed Rig

CptMackey wrote: »

He is great really. He is fond of his sleep at the moment so I hope that will continue :pac:

Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly

Sligo1

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly

Depends if the baby is breastfed or not....

..... Runs away because has been caught lurking in the fathers thread... . Congrats all you dads.

CptMackey

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child. But yeah they sleep alot early on. Usually not when you're trying to sleep though but you learn to nap pretty quickly

What's lead feeding? Baby cptmackey is being breast Fed and is starting to feed more often. Tends to be routing for the breast a lot now.
Between that and the nappy changes we are kept busy

Little raskel always pees too when I change the nappy lol

Sligo1

CptMackey wrote: »

What's lead feeding? Baby cptmackey is being breast Fed and is starting to feed more often. Tends to be routing for the breast a lot now.
Between that and the nappy changes we are kept busy

Little raskel always pees too when I change the nappy lol

Heya, if your OH is breastfeeding she is probably feeding on demand which is exactly right and exactly what she should be doing (if there are no other issues). Feeding on demand (or baby lead/whenever baby wants it) Is really tough and exhausting but it's usually the way breast fed babies are fed. It's not really the same for bottle fed babies who for example will get a bottle religiously every 3-4 hours. With feeding on demand, your OH could be feeding every hour or every 2-3 hours. It's whenever the baby wants it . And it's great because the milk supply will adjust to whatever the baby wants. Congratulations .

The One Doctor

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Routine is the key. Forget what the HSE said about child lead feeding. It will exhaust you and has no extra benefit for the child.

That depends on whether the child is breastfed or not. With bottle fed you make up a schedule, breastfed is always on demand.

Pawwed Rig

The One Doctor wrote: »

That depends on whether the child is breastfed or not. With bottle fed you make up a schedule, breastfed is always on demand.

Nope. We did breast fed on a routine. Worked great for junior and us. I suppose every child is different though.

seventeen sheep

Even with bottle-feeding, it's not always a case of making up a routine. We never even attempted to, but he formed his own one really quickly. But it just depends on the baby.

I always find it a bit funny when parents talk about putting their baby into a routine ... babies choose their own routines! No matter how much you try to influence them.

We never attempted a routine and would have been happy to go with a baby-led approach; however our baby chose his own set bottle and nap times which he stuck to rigidly, and was sleeping through the nights from very early on. We didn't encourage that (but were delighted!)

We might be as relaxed on the next and get a night-owl who prefers to feed sporadically.

Or we could say we were going to have the same routine on the next, and still end up doing the baby-led approach if the baby wanted it that way.

I think parents are giving themselves a lot of credit when they think they've created a routine for the child. I mean, what would you do, deny a newborn a feed when they look for it? Forcefeed them when they're not hungry? Ignore a child who wants attention at night time?

I don't think many parents do those things (hopefully!), so all you're doing is what any parents does - responding to the baby's own routine. It's great if the routine is developing into a pattern, and one that happens to suit you ... but, really, it's the baby that chose it.

Sligo1

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Nope. We did breast fed on a routine. Worked great for junior and us. I suppose every child is different though.

I "think" it's pretty rare tho to routine/block fed with breastfeeding. The only cases I have ever seen or heard of this done is when the mother is having issues with her milk supply (for example with fast let down and over supply, which may lead to feeding problems and painful engorgement). A solution to this is block or routine breast feeding. Sometimes it is used as it is deemed best for the baby aswell. But feeding on demand is what is done the majority of the time for breastfed babies with no issues as such..

KERSPLAT!

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Congrats!!

We'll have our lad in 18 days if not before then very excited!

That'll show me!

Baby born at 19.07 today, mother and baby doing well

The One Doctor

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

That'll show me!

Baby born at 19.07 today, mother and baby doing well

Congrats! Any tips for labour?

KERSPLAT!

The One Doctor wrote: »

Congrats! Any tips for labour?

Change hands every so often, fingers are crushed!!

Seriously though, just be there and talk to your partner, help with breathing, have water close by. I think being there and talking calmly was the best thing I could do. To be honest, you'll feel useless, I did and I'm sure most fathers are the same