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The Fathers Thread

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    #1262
    firestarter51
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭firestarter51


    SuperS54 wrote: »
    I was looking at second hand cots as well, however there is apparently some connection between using second hand mattresses and SID syndrome. Don't want to worry anyone unduly, I'm still buying a second hand cot but will be tossing the mattress and getting a new one. A google search will bring up the reasoning behind it, for me the extra few quid is worth it for peace of mind.

    Oh, and only a month to go, starting to get a little scary!
    We experienced cot death through my brother in law, heart breaking stuff, with outlet first on the way I am being extra cautious.
    It's advised to use a new mattress that's why I put the link up for the kiddiecare shop, mine was only €50 for a cot bed one instead of €200 in the shop.
    Have a look at the sudden infant death charity page, I did some work with them and they have tips on what items are approved by them, gro bags ect
    First thing I bought was a monitoring system, asda and Tesco are very reasonable price wise for these and they do international delivery if you don't have parcel motel.
    I've got most of out baby stuff from asda, saved a fortune


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    #1263
    kronsich
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    Hey

    Just came across this thread now. My wife is due our first on June 28th. I'm mad nervous but have literally done and bought everything possible to make the place right for the baby.

    Puts a serious hole in the funds! We went to Tony Kielys. Bugaboo pram and a besafe car seat. Have a changer, a seat that swings and plays music. She even insisted on a steriliser even though she is breastfeeding???? We got a loan of a Moses basket but I didn't like the look of it so got another one. The house is in bits and the baby still isn't here yet!

    Anyhow, thanks for setting up the thread. I've read books and watched countless pregnancy/birth documentaries. TBH, the whole thing still scares the crap out of me!


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    #1264
    Guffy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,036 ✭✭✭Guffy


    kronsich wrote: »
    Hey

    Just came across this thread now. My wife is due our first on June 28th. I'm mad nervous but have literally done and bought everything possible to make the place right for the baby.

    Puts a serious hole in the funds! We went to Tony Kielys. Bugaboo pram and a besafe car seat. Have a changer, a seat that swings and plays music. She even insisted on a steriliser even though she is breastfeeding???? We got a loan of a Moses basket but I didn't like the look of it so got another one. The house is in bits and the baby still isn't here yet!

    Anyhow, thanks for setting up the thread. I've read books and watched countless pregnancy/birth documentaries. TBH, the whole thing still scares the crap out of me!

    Ha ha don't worry ya'll be grand easy as 123... she can pre pump a bottle if she's breast feeding so can still use the steriliser. Check that ye have a pump too


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    #1265
    kronsich
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    A pump! Never thought of that. Think she wants to see does the breastfeeding work first and then get a pump if all goes well. I know the breastfeeding is better for the baby but TBH I'd rather the bottles. At least I can take some of the night feeds if the baby is on a bottle. Not to worry, will just see what happens now.


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    #1266
    tempnam
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭tempnam


    kronsich wrote: »
    A pump! Never thought of that. Think she wants to see does the breastfeeding work first and then get a pump if all goes well. I know the breastfeeding is better for the baby but TBH I'd rather the bottles. At least I can take some of the night feeds if the baby is on a bottle. Not to worry, will just see what happens now.

    Breastfeeding is so important for the baby and fair play to her for opting for it. But a lot of people underestimate how physically and emotionally tiring it can be.... and how upsetting it can be if it doesn't go according to plan.

    We never even thought to buy bottles as we both just assumed the baby would be breastfed. When it was more difficult than we realised we invested in some bottles 'just in case', and even knowing we had them there if we needed them took a weight off our minds.

    If you're planning on doing some feeds keep in mind that the baby latches on differently to the breast and the bottle so bottle feeding could make breastfeeding more of a struggle.

    Make sure if she wants to do it that she has plenty of support and engorgement too.

    Best of luck with it all!


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    #1267
    mrsWhippy
    Registered Users Posts: 673 ✭✭✭mrsWhippy


    kronsich wrote: »
    A pump! Never thought of that. Think she wants to see does the breastfeeding work first and then get a pump if all goes well. I know the breastfeeding is better for the baby but TBH I'd rather the bottles. At least I can take some of the night feeds if the baby is on a bottle. Not to worry, will just see what happens now.

    Although breastfeeding is usually a bit tricky at the start, there is absolutely no reason why it would not 'work' given the correct advice and support. I'd get the contact details of a local breastfeeding consultant who can call in on you during the early days - some 1-1 support can be the difference to sticking with it or not.

    That aside, there are *plenty* of other things you can do in order to help out - you can lift baby when they wake, change their nappy, and then wind again after the feed. You will need to be in charge of preparing meals while she is busy feeding, and catching up with the washing and housework :) To be honest, it's handier if your wife is breastfeeding at night as you don't need to go and heat bottles, mix formula while your baby is screaming and then look forward to washing 8-10 bottles a day! All you need to do is feed the baby in bed then pop her back into the cot :) One of the reasons I didn't give up breastfeeding until my daughter was 1 was that it was so bloody handy! :)


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    #1268
    Chattastrophe!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,284 ✭✭✭Chattastrophe!


    In fairness it's really not like that with formula-feeding. :) We make up bottles once a day in advance - no need to wait until baby is screaming for a feed. And very few babies would go through 8-10 bottles a day for long - we were on 8 feeds a day for maybe a week, then 6 feeds a day for maybe 3-4 months, 4 feeds a day since then ... it's really not that bad, especially since we share the bottle preparation and feeding between us. I fully planned on breastfeeding and it didn't work out, but I'm actually much happier and more comfortable bottle-feeding. I know several other women who feel the same.


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    #1269
    mrsWhippy
    Registered Users Posts: 673 ✭✭✭mrsWhippy


    Fair point Chattastrophy!

    I suppose you learn very quickly as a new parent that you do what works for you as a family. I was lucky that I had no major problems with the bf and it worked well for us, but I fully appreciate not everyone has the same experience. It wasn't all sunshine and roses either let me point out but for me (lazy at heart!), the convenience outweighed any negatives.


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    #1270
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    kronsich wrote: »
    A pump! Never thought of that. Think she wants to see does the breastfeeding work first and then get a pump if all goes well. I know the breastfeeding is better for the baby but TBH I'd rather the bottles. At least I can take some of the night feeds if the baby is on a bottle. Not to worry, will just see what happens now.

    Don't get a pump until breast feeding has been established, they are pricey enough. She shouldn't use it for the first six weeks or thereabouts as pumping can interfere with supply. Once bf is established there is no reason why you can't combine feed, breast during the day, bottles at night. That's what we did. Do try and find and go to a bf group before the birth, no offence to the hospital staff but with cutbacks they are so busy and may not give your partner the one on one support she needs to learn the ropes. Breastfeeding is natural but its a skill that takes time to learn. She'll be less likely to have problems if she has a good support network.


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    #1271
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,083 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    I know its easier said than done but don't worry about being nervous. My son is nearly 7 months old now and obviously I'm not saying it's easy Jesus it's not ha! But it's not as bad as some make it out to be or some believe it will be.

    Myself and my girlfriend both of us had no real interest in other people's kids or babys still mostly dont but when u have your own u just find you naturally learn as you go along I never taught id be able do the things I do with my son every day that I've done since he was born!

    There will be times when it all drives you mental but I know with me personally when I get frustrated or annoyed the second I look at his little smiley chubby face I feel bad straight away ha :-)

    Anyway long story short try and enjoy it as much as you can it won't always be easy but it's worth it.

    Get involved as much as your comfortable with as well because it can be very awkward for a man in a situation where everything is mainly aimed at the mother and child a lot of the time men are forgotten about. If you feel your part of it you will feel much better about it and it makes life easier for the 3 of u.


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    #1272
    kronsich
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭kronsich


    Ah yeah, really looking forward to getting stuck in and doing all the various jobs for the baby. Have no probs with cleaning and dinner making, I do that anyway.

    Was in the hospital today at an ante-natal appt and saw a baby with his Dad. Just worrying how small they are and their head flopping around; big responsibility! Will prefer when he/she is a bit older and less breakable.

    Anyway, five days to due date so gotta man up!


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    #1273
    Calhoun
    Registered Users Posts: 7,447 ✭✭✭Calhoun


    kronsich wrote: »
    Ah yeah, really looking forward to getting stuck in and doing all the various jobs for the baby. Have no probs with cleaning and dinner making, I do that anyway.

    Was in the hospital today at an ante-natal appt and saw a baby with his Dad. Just worrying how small they are and their head flopping around; big responsibility! Will prefer when he/she is a bit older and less breakable.

    Anyway, five days to due date so gotta man up!

    Everyone is scare of how fragile babies are, then you watch the nurses. They arent rough with them but they dont mess around with them as they know they don't break that easy.

    Small things to worry about, when your holding your own baby allot of these worries will melt away.


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    #1274
    tempnam
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭tempnam


    kronsich wrote: »
    Ah yeah, really looking forward to getting stuck in and doing all the various jobs for the baby. Have no probs with cleaning and dinner making, I do that anyway.

    Was in the hospital today at an ante-natal appt and saw a baby with his Dad. Just worrying how small they are and their head flopping around; big responsibility! Will prefer when he/she is a bit older and less breakable.

    Anyway, five days to due date so gotta man up!

    I was a nervous wreck for the months leading up to the birth. Then when she came along I just naturally took to it. One thing that shocked me though is when we were leaving the hospital to go home.... It was a real sense of 'they're just letting me walk out of here with this tiny baby!' And that was worrying.... knowing you're on your own (as a couple)


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    #1275
    zadey
    Registered Users Posts: 9 ✭zadey


    we are week 27, we have nothing sorted apart from a handfull of clothes, i am not freaking out yet..... i just cant wait to see the little girl come out to say hi :)


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    #1276
    firestarter51
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭firestarter51


    zadey wrote: »
    we are week 27, we have nothing sorted apart from a handfull of clothes, i am not freaking out yet..... i just cant wait to see the little girl come out to say hi :)

    Complete opposite here, we have everything apart from nappies
    Week 28 it's soooo loooooong waiting


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    #1277
    SeaFields
    Registered Users Posts: 6,551 ✭✭✭SeaFields


    Started to feel the baby kick this week thru mammys tummy. Fecking hell, s/he gives a fair punch or kick. One of the coolest things I have ever experienced :D


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    #1278
    Penny Dreadful
    Registered Users Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭Penny Dreadful


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Started to feel the baby kick this week thru mammys tummy. Fecking hell, s/he gives a fair punch or kick. One of the coolest things I have ever experienced :D

    Enjoy it so much. I absolutely loved when my husband was able to feel our baby kick and move about, it really brought him more into the pregnancy. It also was like a reward for all his loveliness to me (both of us) when I was feeling dog rough and tired and all that other stuff. It was brilliant to be able to tell him to feel his baby move about.


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    #1279
    Jerrica
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,813 ✭✭✭Jerrica


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Started to feel the baby kick this week thru mammys tummy. Fecking hell, s/he gives a fair punch or kick. One of the coolest things I have ever experienced :D

    Isn't it cool? :D When my husband started being able to feel the kicking it really bonded us in the journey, because he could feel part of it and would be able to understand the movements I was describing. Enjoy it!


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    #1280
    Marty McFly
    Registered Users Posts: 11,224 ✭✭✭✭Marty McFly


    SeaFields wrote: »
    Started to feel the baby kick this week thru mammys tummy. Fecking hell, s/he gives a fair punch or kick. One of the coolest things I have ever experienced :D

    It is one of the best feelings, my girlfriend is now 34 weeks you can feel the baby push back and guess which part of the her your feeling or not even kicks as much but movements. Exciting times ahead and only one or two little bits left to get before she arrives.


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    #1281
    Dermighty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,748 ✭✭✭Dermighty


    In the maternity hospital waiting for our final scan. What a circus!

    Week 33


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    #1282
    SuperTed!
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭SuperTed!


    Going for our first scan tomorrow, very exciting but also a bit nervous!


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    #1283
    SuperTed!
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭SuperTed!


    SuperTed! wrote: »
    Going for our first scan tomorrow, very exciting but also a bit nervous!

    So that was amazing! I had seen it on TV etc but to be there with my GF and to see this tiny baby on the screen was something else. He/she even did a little jump at one stage! I just sat with my jaw on the floor in utter amazement! Baby due in January, it's gonna be a hectic Christmas :D


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    #1284
    firestarter51
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭firestarter51


    SuperTed! wrote: »
    So that was amazing! I had seen it on TV etc but to be there with my GF and to see this tiny baby on the screen was something else. He/she even did a little jump at one stage! I just sat with my jaw on the floor in utter amazement! Baby due in January, it's gonna be a hectic Christmas :D
    Have you thought about 4d scan, it's amazing to see, much better than regular ultra sound


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    #1285
    SuperTed!
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭SuperTed!


    Yeah we talked about it briefly yesterday. There was a leaflet with the pack we got that had it priced at €300... Would love to get it done but money is tight so we'll have to wait and see for now :)


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    #1286
    firestarter51
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭firestarter51


    SuperTed! wrote: »
    Yeah we talked about it briefly yesterday. There was a leaflet with the pack we got that had it priced at €300... Would love to get it done but money is tight so we'll have to wait and see for now :)

    We got ours done in ballincollig cork for €190, shop around and you should get a good price


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    #1287
    SuperTed!
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭SuperTed!


    firestarter51 wrote: »
    We got ours done in ballincollig cork for €190, shop around and you should get a good price

    Will do, thanks :)


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    #1288
    firestarter51
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,382 ✭✭✭firestarter51


    SuperTed! wrote: »
    Will do, thanks :)

    They said if we had a medical card they give a tenner off, I wasn't keen on the idea due to the cost but when you get to see it, it's well worth it


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    #1289
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    Baby Scan do it for €180.

    http://www.babyscan.ie/


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    #1290
    Guffy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,036 ✭✭✭Guffy


    Do ya not thinks it takes some of the surprise out of it. I mean u already know what the sex is I presume but a 4d scan will basically show you what the baby will look like too..


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    #1291
    SuperTed!
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭SuperTed!


    gufc21 wrote: »
    Do ya not thinks it takes some of the surprise out of it. I mean u already know what the sex is I presume but a 4d scan will basically show you what the baby will look like too..

    Nope, we don't know the sex yet and not sure if we're going to find out or not. We'll talk somemore and see what we come up with :)


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