The Fathers Thread

tempnam

youcancallmeal wrote: »

Sounds worse than it is, the reward at the end far outweighs any negatives

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

I was about to ask "what part?" and then I saw the :pac:

Congrats on a successful birth youcancallmeal! Hope yourself and the missus are doing OK!

I just meant in comparison to our experience.

Waters broke at 5pm. I came home from work - was sent out to get a pizza with her saying 'If I'm gonna be in hospital for ages I might as well have something now cos I'm starving!"...

We had our pizza, drove to hospital around 7.30pm. Baby arrived at 11.30pm. All 3 of us were home the next morning by 10am!

youcancallmeal

tempnam wrote: »

I just meant in comparison to our experience.

Waters broke at 5pm. I came home from work - was sent out to get a pizza with her saying 'If I'm gonna be in hospital for ages I might as well have something now cos I'm starving!"...

We had our pizza, drove to hospital around 7.30pm. Baby arrived at 11.30pm. All 3 of us were home the next morning by 10am!

Ha that's brilliant, was that your first? From what I've heard women who have given birth before and have a straight forward delivery will tend to leave the next day. There was a woman in a bed on the ward my wife is on who did this, left first thing in the morning after giving birth during the night. I thought it was a bit mad at first but I suppose she knows best!

January

youcancallmeal wrote: »

Ha that's brilliant, was that your first? From what I've heard women who have given birth before and have a straight forward delivery will tend to leave the next day. There was a woman in a bed on the ward my wife is on who did this, left first thing in the morning after giving birth during the night. I thought it was a bit mad at first but I suppose she knows best!

Hospitals can be so noisy, hot and busy that your own bed is always preferable! I gave birth at 3am and they were asking me did I want to go home at 7am (obviously would have had to wait for doc to come and check baby etc), I stayed one night and then went home, just because I knew I'd get no peace with two other young children there

tempnam

youcancallmeal wrote: »

Ha that's brilliant, was that your first? From what I've heard women who have given birth before and have a straight forward delivery will tend to leave the next day. There was a woman in a bed on the ward my wife is on who did this, left first thing in the morning after giving birth during the night. I thought it was a bit mad at first but I suppose she knows best!

Yep it was our first. She doesn't like to hang around - no messing... in, baby born, home haha :pac::pac:

Chattastrophe!

A word of warning ... my baby was born just after midnight, the ward was over-crowded ... my bed was the eighth in a six-bed ward - not nice for the two women who had their curtains opened, their belongings moved, and me+bed+baby+belongings shoved in between their beds in the middle of the night! I felt bad, but it wasn't like I could do much about it!

The next morning, the midwives suggested I could go home if I wanted. I didn't want to, I didn't feel able for it, I wanted to stay another night.

That night, the nurses noticed the baby looked a bit off and tested his blood. He had very low blood sugar, and ended up in the intensive care unit. The thing is, I'm not used to babies, I hadn't noticed a thing in the world wrong with him! If I'd had him at home, there is no way in the world I'd have picked up on it, and who knows what would have happened.

Because of this, I wouldn't be in a rush home from hospital, at least not with a first baby. We both ended up staying in (I think) 4-5 days, til he got the all-clear. (Of course, if you're on a Dominos scheme or similar and have a midwife out to you every day, that's completely different!)

Marty McFly

tempnam wrote: »

I enjoyed the whole experience of going to pick a travel system. I was amazed at the amount of engineering that goes into the design of them!

We went with a neutral colour as we weren't finding out the sex. But even if you do, and are planning on having more kids in the future - you might as well get a neutral coloured one.

Our one got my vote purely because the frame pops up open automatically! (And there was a deal on it at the time! )

In fairness herself doesn't drive and whilst on maternity and with me being back in work she will be using it more than I will plus she has three young nephews so has more experience with them. So I let her have free reign really and pick exactly what she was looking for . Our one got picked mainly becasue a decent extending handle were both tall enough, no blow up wheels and no bar in the way of your feet when walking they were the things we had marked out to look for. Also does fold down in seconds .

Ah nah I'm not one for if its a girl has to be pink boy it has to be blue we just went for a colour we liked well I liked which happened to be blue .



Also congrats youcancallmeal.

madeinamerica

youcancallmeal wrote: »

Our first, a girl, was born at midday on St. Patrick's Day. Waters broke at 6am on the Sunday morning. Went into Holles St. for a quick scan to check I everything was okay and then sent home as contractions hadn't started. Although not very common for waters to break and contractions not to start soon after the standard procedure is wait 24 hours and then have labour induced due to risk of infection. It's a bit anti-climatic because reading everything and anything about pregnancy for the last few months and I never heard about this scenario!? I really thought we would have a baby by dinner time on Sunday! Really wish I had a gotten a few hours sleep when we went back home as I wouldn't get any more until Monday night!

Contractions started out slowly Sunday afternoon and started building in intensity until they were 5 minutes apart lasting up to a minute at 10pm. We had been instructed in the ante-natal course to go into the hospital at that point so in we went. My wife's cervix was checked and to our disappointment the midwife said labour was no where near starting. She reluctantly took some pethidine and midwife said once it kicks in she should be able to get some sleep and I was to go home and come back in the morning. My wife had planned not to take pethidine as all, it was the only drug she didn't want! All she had heard was bad things about it, some women can have terrible reactions to it making them feel worse rather than better. So while it didn't have a bad affect on her it didn't really have much affect at all!? Contractions kept building in intensity and length so any notion of her sleeping and me going home quickly went out the window. Between 1am and 5am were by far the worst of it, contractions were incredibly painful. Thankfully by about 5am things had moved along enough to warrant being given an epidural. After that it was relatively plain sailing and big healthy 9lb 13ounce baby girl delivered at midday after an hour pushing.

Met a few friends for a drink on Monday night to wet the baby's head! Literally had one and went home for some much needed sleep. Spent all day in the hospital yesterday learning basic things like how to hold a new born, change a nappy, burping etc. The nurses are just amazing, so understanding and helpful. Getting out of hospital tomorrow so decided to go into work today and get an extra day off at home. Can't really concentrate at all, just want to get back to my wife and daughter! I feel like I'm still on a high from the whole thing, not sure how much longer this will last though!? The last few days actually seem quite surreal, almost like my wedding day, just walking around with a big smile on my face and looking out of it!

Congrats! That's a great write-up too. Enjoy the happy head on you!

tempnam

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

A word of warning ... my baby was born just after midnight, the ward was over-crowded ... my bed was the eighth in a six-bed ward - not nice for the two women who had their curtains opened, their belongings moved, and me+bed+baby+belongings shoved in between their beds in the middle of the night! I felt bad, but it wasn't like I could do much about it!

The next morning, the midwives suggested I could go home if I wanted. I didn't want to, I didn't feel able for it, I wanted to stay another night.

That night, the nurses noticed the baby looked a bit off and tested his blood. He had very low blood sugar, and ended up in the intensive care unit. The thing is, I'm not used to babies, I hadn't noticed a thing in the world wrong with him! If I'd had him at home, there is no way in the world I'd have picked up on it, and who knows what would have happened.

Because of this, I wouldn't be in a rush home from hospital, at least not with a first baby. We both ended up staying in (I think) 4-5 days, til he got the all-clear. (Of course, if you're on a Dominos scheme or similar and have a midwife out to you every day, that's completely different!)

Sorry - I should have mentioned this. We went with the Domino scheme. I have to say the midwives are brilliant all the way through the pregnancy (plus it's great being able to go to appointments locally during the pregnancy rather than in and out of town to the hospital) and then with their follow up visits. They were out to the house every day for a week or so after we got home from the hospital.

Marty McFly wrote: »

In fairness herself doesn't drive and whilst on maternity and with me being back in work she will be using it more than I will

Ah nah I'm not one for if its a girl has to be pink boy it has to be blue we just went for a colour we liked well I liked which happened to be blue .



Also congrats youcancallmeal.

Same here!

And we went for an all black one. baby wants to keep a low profile.... :cool:

alexuszane

Ok this might be a strange one for here.
A few years ago -6. I was seeing a girl mainly it was a sexual thing.
all was going ok until she suddenly moved away.I found out a few months later that she was pregnant but had no idea where she moved to.

Months later I was driving through a town about 20 min from where I live and I seen her, I.opened the window and asked could we talk to which she replied - no she had to go ( or somethin to that affect),traffic was building so I drove on and went back but she had gone... And yes she was very pregnant like I had been told.

Its bothered me for a very long time, I search face book and Twitter regularly but it does no good.

I no she don't want me in her life but it hurts so bad I'm missing out on the child, I'm not sure if she had a boy or girl or anything about it.

So my question is this - is there any way to find them, what can I do.

Please only helpful replies not judgemental ones.
My current partner is pregnant and it's given me a serious push to try solve this.

Thank you for any advice that may be offered

tempnam

alexuszane wrote: »

Ok this might be a strange one for here.
A few years ago -6. I was seeing a girl mainly it was a sexual thing.
all was going ok until she suddenly moved away.I found out a few months later that she was pregnant but had no idea where she moved to.

Months later I was driving through a town about 20 min from where I live and I seen her, I.opened the window and asked could we talk to which she replied - no she had to go ( or somethin to that affect),traffic was building so I drove on and went back but she had gone... And yes she was very pregnant like I had been told.

Its bothered me for a very long time, I search face book and Twitter regularly but it does no good.

I no she don't want me in her life but it hurts so bad I'm missing out on the child, I'm not sure if she had a boy or girl or anything about it.

So my question is this - is there any way to find them, what can I do.

Please only helpful replies not judgemental ones.
My current partner is pregnant and it's given me a serious push to try solve this.

Thank you for any advice that may be offered

Might be better suited to the PI forum.... Surely you have some basic information about her / know people in common etc.... It couldn't be that hard to get in touch with Facebook now and everything.

Not sure what to tell you though. If she doesn't want to speak to you I'm not sure what you can do.

If you do have a child out there and want to get in touch - you might want to investigate whether or not you have any rights.

Best of luck!

minusthebear

wife had an emergency c section in Holles Street last week after developing preclampsia (sp?) when no contractions had begun 18 hours after the waters had been broken. Day 1 was tough as she was agony and the baby was in special care unit so I was running up and down to them each. Staff at Holles St were great. Have them back at home now, both are doing much better.Hardest part so far is getting the little fella to stay asleep after his soother has fallen out, wish we never gave him one in the first place. Otherwise he's great :-) Took extra annual leave and dreading going back to work now.

tempnam

minusthebear wrote: »

wife had an emergency c section in Holles Street last week after developing preclampsia (sp?) when no contractions had begun 18 hours after the waters had been broken. Day 1 was tough as she was agony and the baby was in special care unit so I was running up and down to them each. Staff at Holles St were great. Have them back at home now, both are doing much better.Hardest part so far is getting the little fella to stay asleep after his soother has fallen out, wish we never gave him one in the first place. Otherwise he's great :-) Took extra annual leave and dreading going back to work now.

Best of luck. I won't lie - it's HORRIBLE having to go back to work and leave them every morning.... but it does get easier over time.

Hope everything goes well for you all.

SuperS54

Went for the routine monthly checkup last night, about 21 weeks gone by, time is flying! Himself has been kicking up a storm for the last week or so, all looks good on the utlrasound, 635grams apparently!

Lovely Bloke

I don't know where to ask this one really, but my wife is due with our first in 4 or 5 weeks.

We won't be going down the traditional Christening route, but we'd still like to ask people to be what are essentially "godparents" - people we hope would have a positive influence on our child in the sense of being good role models, someone to look up to, give good advice at different points in their life (everyone needs an adult who is not their parents to turn to sometimes), someone who would hopefully take over in the event something happens to us, but obviously we won't be using that particular terminology.

We will be doing a kind of welcome to the world/naming ceremony type of event.

so, has anyone else done this? What do you call these people - what do you ask them to be?

Pawwed Rig

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

We will be doing a kind of welcome to the world/naming ceremony type of event.

What exactly is a naming ceremony? Is there a formal part or is it a more skip the church and go straight for the party kind of thing. One thing the church has going for it is that it adds gravity to these events and gives a focus for the usual customs.

Lovely Bloke

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

What exactly is a naming ceremony? Is there a formal part or is it a more skip the church and go straight for the party kind of thing. One thing the church has going for it is that it adds gravity to these events and gives a focus for the usual customs.

We have someone in mind who, while not religious per se, we would consider to be quite a spiritual and deep thinker, also a bit eccentric (in a good way!), who would be perfect to lead a few words of welcome to the new baby into the family/friend circle and to the world in general.

We like the idea of this, which is essentially what a Christening is really, we just don't like the idea of indoctrinating a child into a religion neither of us has any belief or interest in - we weren't married in a church, we were married by a Spiritualist who did some traditional things during our ceremony like a handfasting etc.

So, I don't know what the "traditional" baby ceremonies are, and I've no real interest in finding out, we just want our person to say a few words "We are here to welcome Baby Baldy into the family blah blah" and we also would like these people we have chosen (if the accept, of course) to promise to look after the child in the event we can't, in a real sense of the child having somewhere to live, and also in the sense of everything I outlined above.

Look, I'm not here for some great debate into the rights and wrongs of organised religoin, or my own beliefs, or what kind of party we'd like to have to welcome celebrate the birth of our baby, I just want to know if anyone else has done similar, and what, if any, terminology they used to refer to what are traditionally called "godparents" - given there will be no mention of god, gods or other deities in the ceremony.

Pawwed Rig

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

Look, I'm not here for some great debate into the rights and wrongs of organised religoin, or my own beliefs, or what kind of party we'd like to have to welcome celebrate the birth of our baby, I just want to know if anyone else has done similar, and what, if any, terminology they used to refer to what are traditionally called "godparents" - given there will be no mention of god, gods or other deities in the ceremony.

No me neither, I was just curious as to what it would entail as I heard it mentioned a few times here but have never experienced one. I have no real interest in the church either but Mrs is catholic so she wants to get junior baptised which I am happy to go along with but will be giving him a questioning upbringing rather than the blind faith that was force fed to us when we were kids.

I would suggest calling them Uncle or Aunty (if they are not already) or else could you use Big Brother/Sister or foreign language version of mother and father? Vater/Mutter, Nanay/Tatay, Papa/Mama

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

We are here to welcome Baby Baldy into the family

I would recommend a different name though

Chattastrophe!

I've heard them referred to as 'guideparents', I quite like that!

Dolbert

The term Anam Cáirde is lovely too - soul friends

minusthebear

after my post yesterday we figured out how to calm the little fella without his soother - white noise! load up a youtube video of white noise and he calms instantly. something to do about reminding them of the sounds of the womb apparently.

January

Plenty of free white noise apps for smart phones too so you can use them at night without fumbling around youtube.

youcancallmeal

minusthebear wrote: »

after my post yesterday we figured out how to calm the little fella without his soother - white noise! load up a youtube video of white noise and he calms instantly. something to do about reminding them of the sounds of the womb apparently.

How old is he? My 2 week old seems indifferent to white noise at the moment?

minusthebear

youcancallmeal wrote: »

How old is he? My 2 week old seems indifferent to white noise at the moment?

He's just gone two weeks. I've noticed over the weekend the white noise will only really work if he's changed & fed..works very well to cut out the what I call "no logical reason whimpering"....straight to sleep he goes. I've tried a couple of different white noise tracks now...some he respond more to than others to maybe have a look around spotify/youtube/apps

The One Doctor

Well, I just found out that my girlfriend is about a month pregnant and I'm delighted! Only found out yesterday, so my thoughts are all over the place. We've been together for 8 years so far and had planned for a baby, two months of trying later and there's a little monster swimming around in there. Never thought it'd be that easy, although that was definitely the easy bit.

We're in a one bed apartment now, so that'll have to change, not sure when though. I think my girlfriend will be a stay at home mam for a few years, so i need a permanent job, am nearing the end of a contract in a big IT company and don't think it'll be renewed.. We need a 4 door car as well. Money money, I'm very glad I got rid of all my debts and started saving heavily.

Anyway, if you fathers and expectant fathers have any advice for me I'd love to hear it.

youcancallmeal

The One Doctor wrote: »

Well, I just found out that my girlfriend is about a month pregnant and I'm delighted! Only found out yesterday, so my thoughts are all over the place. We've been together for 8 years so far and had planned for a baby, two months of trying later and there's a little monster swimming around in there. Never thought it'd be that easy, although that was definitely the easy bit.

We're in a one bed apartment now, so that'll have to change, not sure when though. I think my girlfriend will be a stay at home mam for a few years, so i need a permanent job, am nearing the end of a contract in a big IT company and don't think it'll be renewed.. We need a 4 door car as well. Money money, I'm very glad I got rid of all my debts and started saving heavily.

Anyway, if you fathers and expectant fathers have any advice for me I'd love to hear it.

Congrats! IT is booming at the moment as you probably know so you should be grand for a job. Living in an apartment should be fine for the next couple of years too, its when they are bigger and there is more than one that you'll need more space! 4 door car isn't absolutely necessary either but it does make life a bit easier! Enjoy the next 8 months, it really is quite the rollercoaster ride!

Pawwed Rig

The One Doctor wrote: »

We're in a one bed apartment now, so that'll have to change, not sure when though. I think my girlfriend will be a stay at home mam for a few years, so i need a permanent job, am nearing the end of a contract in a big IT company and don't think it'll be renewed.. We need a 4 door car as well. Money money, I'm very glad I got rid of all my debts and started saving heavily.

We are in a 1 bed with a 6 week old at the moment. It is no hassle and we do not plan on moving until he is moving about. Babies don't have to take up much space if you are sensible about it. Our lad has a cot, a playmat and a day chair. Everything else is in the drawer or wardrobe.

We traded in the TT and got a 4 door Insignia which is more than adequate for our needs.

If money is an issue then it would seem strange that your gf would take years off work? Assess who has the most earning power and make the decision on that basis. If you are not in permanent work and your gf is it would be crazy for her to quit. You are just as capable of caring for a baby as she is once you get past the breast feeding stage.

The One Doctor

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

If money is an issue then it would seem strange that your gf would take years off work? Assess who has the most earning power and make the decision on that basis. If you are not in permanent work and your gf is it would be crazy for her to quit. You are just as capable of caring for a baby as she is once you get past the breast feeding stage.

You're right, there's no real reason for her to be a stay at home mam, we haven't even discussed it and I only earn a few thousand more than her. There's there's a good chance she'll earn more than me in the future. Thanks for the advice about the apartment, it all looks a bit daunting right now!

Pawwed Rig

The One Doctor wrote: »

You're right, there's no real reason for her to be a stay at home mam, we haven't even discussed it and I only earn a few thousand more than her. There's there's a good chance she'll earn more than me in the future. Thanks for the advice about the apartment, it all looks a bit daunting right now!

Yeah sorry, that is your business anyway. The apartment won't be an issue in my experience. Hard to keep it tidy though but you just have to accept that the place will most likely look like a war zone
It is an exciting time and the pregnancy will fly. They always say that the first child comes late but be prepared as our lad came early.

Also here is some good advice. Do not pay in advance for things like prams or any other baby stuff. We were lucky as we received our pram a couple of weeks before Baby Biz went tits up but alot of people are hurting and have lost significant amounts of cash at a time in their life when every penny counts. We are down about €120 but it could have been much worse as we spent over €2K in the shop.

The One Doctor

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Also here is some good advice. Do not pay in advance for things like prams or any other baby stuff. We were lucky as we received our pram a couple of weeks before Baby Biz went tits up but alot of people are hurting and have lost significant amounts of cash at a time in their life when every penny counts. We are down about €120 but it could have been much worse as we spent over €2K in the shop.

We're going to buy a travel system secondhand... the money is ridiculous for the brand new ones!

Pawwed Rig

The One Doctor wrote: »

We're going to buy a travel system secondhand... the money is ridiculous for the brand new ones!

It is a minefield so I welcomed the shops advice along with the HSE car seat class which you will get at some stage.

See this thread
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056754865