What's the worst thing you've accidentally done?

Doc

I was talking to a friend of mine about this in a pub and he had punched a baby!

He was walking through a shopping centre and tuned around and the baby was being carried at just the right height that when he turned his fist hit the babies head. Apparently the mother didn’t notice and kept walking. My other friend was there and said that it looked like he full on boxed it in the head even though the guy who did it said it looked a harder hit then it was.

For me I was sitting on a bus on my way home and coughed didn’t get my hand up over my mouth in time and a big chunk of green leapt out of my throat and landed on the back of the girl in the seat in fronts head. She didn’t seam to notice and I didn’t know what to do so I got off the bus.

Anyone else?

Turd Ferguson

I killed Kennedy

Doc

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I killed Kennedy

Where you cleaning your gun on a grassy knoll by any chance?

Irishcrx

Was pushing a trolly full of toys a few xmas's ago while working in Smyths and some little kid ran out in front of it, didn't see him and ended up running him down....badly...

Itsdacraic

Irishcrx wrote: »

didn't see him and ended up running him down....badly...

Is there a good way to run down a kid???

Loopy

Was holding my baby whilst walking from kitchen to living room and got a bad whiff so lifted her up to have a sniff of the nappy just as I was walking through the doorway and nearly took her head off:eek:

Wagon

Threw out half a pancake from Lemon cos i wasn't able to finish, only to see a homeless bloke sitting on the other side of the bin looking at me. Oh it was a bad moment.

Harpy

looptheloop wrote: »

Was holding my baby whilst walking from kitchen to living room and got a bad whiff so lifted her up to have a sniff of the nappy just as I was walking through the doorway and nearly took her head off:eek:

its ok if its your own baby:D

Mark200

Doc wrote: »

I was talking to a friend of mine about this in a pub and he had punched a baby!

He was walking through a shopping centre and tuned around and the baby was being carried at just the right height that when he turned his fist hit the babies head. Apparently the mother didn’t notice and kept walking. My other friend was there and said that it looked like he full on boxed it in the head even though the guy who did it said it looked a harder hit then it was.

For me I was sitting on a bus on my way home and coughed didn’t get my hand up over my mouth in time and a big chunk of green leapt out of my throat and landed on the back of the girl in the seat in fronts head. She didn’t seam to notice and I didn’t know what to do so I got off the bus.

Anyone else?

That reminds me of something my friend did. We were on the school Ski trip a few years ago and we were throwing snowballs at each other...as you do. So I was just sitting back watching the snowball throwing and I just happened to be watching one snowball......and kept watching as it went over the heads of three of us....gradually dived down and right into a pram that was being pushed by a passing woman.
It smacked the baby right in the face. Just to make matters worse, our teacher (who had told us plenty of times before that that we shouldn't be throwing snowballs on the streets in case we hit someone else by accident) happened to be at the top of the same road at the time and saw it all. So while he was sprinting down what seemed like the never ending road to us, this woman who was pushing the pram was shouting at him in a language that wasn't English.


It was the funniest thing ever (lucky the baby wasn't hurt, but still)

Genghiz Cohen

BarrackO'Bummer wrote: »

I ACCIDENTALLY THE WHOLE ELECTION

The entire one!?!

4zn76tysfajdxp

I once cracked a suicide joke at work and made a girl cry.

and2

Is it an accident if you sleep with your Ex when extremly drunk? I claimed it was anyway

barbiegirl

Went shopping and bought stuff in Monsoon sale, gave bag to hubbie, continued shopping, got home and we had 2 Monsoon bags. I'd picked up an extra bag somewhere with someone elses new black skinny jeans and black trousers!! No receipt!! Thankfully they fit me :-)
Felt very bad but what could I do, if I brought them back they would just have resold them.

chamlis

At a house party once I knocked over someone's wall of shot glasses by accident. Must have taken them a year to build it. Got me coat sharpish.

Last night, the balcony door was open but didn't notice the screen door was closed. I walked into the screen door and took it right off it's rails! My nose hurts today

TriciaDelicia

knocked someones toothbrush into the toilet before i didn't know what to do so i used the toilet brush and fished it out and put it back on the rack.
I know disgusting and evil.

AnonoBoy

I went Morris Dancing once.

Doc

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I went Morris Dancing once.

Accidentall Morris Dancing? Was it an Irish dancing class?

KnifeWRENCH

One of the worst for me was probably when I was about 9 and I accidentally knocked a statue of the Virgin Mary off a shelf in school and it smashed into pieces - whether you're religious or not, you can imagine it's not a good omen. I bet God is still pissed off with me for that one!

BarrackO'Bummer wrote: »

I ACCIDENTALLY THE WHOLE ELECTION

OMG SRSLY?????!!!!!!!!!!

ScumLord

When I was in national school (maybe around 13 - 14) they where doing a raffle for charity. Me and a friend found the ticket books and stole a book each. We sold the books and pocketed the money. Unfortunately we couldn't control our spending afterwards. We couldn't explain where all the toy machine guns, buckets of sweets and pimp clothes where coming out of and eventually the parents knew something was up. Man, I got beat raw that day.

Oh accident.. opps.

Oh well it's good to get it off me chest.

Miguel_Sanchez

I accidentally dropped and chipped my uncle's vinyl copy of Sonic Youth's Dirty Boots EP when I was about 14 or 15.

I still feel bad.


(and if you believe that's the worst thing I've ever done then I've got a perpetual motion machine you might be interested in buying)

Quazzie

Chad Happy Tourniquet wrote: »

I once cracked a suicide joke at work and made a girl cry.

i did the same with a cancer joke!

5T3PH3N

Cutting the grass in my cousins new house and i hear a loud noise and see something brown flying out. Stop the mower to take a look... It was a wallet full of money.

Stupidly i ran in to my cousins mate who was living there and showed him what i found. He pulled i.d out of it and it was him. Then he told me i had just found 3,500e and handed me 50 quid and sent me on my way to finish cutting the grass.

Boll*x

Zangetsu

Can't really remember much atm but the other day I opened a door in the office while someone went to push through, she was obviously gonna put her weight behind opening the door cause when i opened it she flew forward and did a faceplant in the hall...

I laughed, picked her up and apoligised. Don't think I was forgiven though :pac:

Ste.phen

I accidentally the whole thing.

Danbo!

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

i did the same with a cancer joke!

Wheelchair joke for me.

5T3PH3N wrote: »

3,500 grand

3.5 Million? Nice wan.

MagicMarker

Numerous girls have been left in agony with a football to the face as a result of my left foot.

It's always the ones you have a crush on:(

pawrick

em lots of things not sure which qualifies as the worst:

knocked a small person into the canteen fridge in work - door was left open and I hate when people do that so i sorta launched it but didn't notice she was leaning into it trying to reach something.

same job - had a dodgy lift where the sensors didn't work properly - jumped in to it just managing to avoid catching my arm, the small person ah heck with it the dwarf was standing there with her friend and I just said wow I nearly caught my arm - the guy turns and say I wasn't so lucky - cue one armed guy to make his appearance in work!

assisted in breaking my mates wheelchair - wheelchair racing down a hill and had to go to a bike shop to get it fixed quickly (was in school on lunch break)

borrowed my mates wheel chair in a night club while he was in the jacks as I was tired standing up - some guys thought I needed assistance getting up some steps - em was a bit embarrassing when I had to get out of the chair to get my friend.

when my gf asked me if my ex was better looking I said yes (in fairness she was going on and on about stuff so I had tuned out and was just going yes yes yes) it slipped out before I realised and god what a huge argument that started, the fact I said I wasn't listening to her didn't help either!

redfacedbear

I dislocated my 3yoa daughter's elbow.

Walking along the street holding her hand. She tripped and I yanked her arm up to stop her falling on her face. There was a sickening crunching sensation and lots of screaming.

Horrible

Dord

I accidentally knocked someone out. :eek::(

Varkov

Dord wrote: »

I accidentally knocked someone up. :eek::(

Fixed

pickarooney

Messing around at an athletics meet, threw a playful kick at a young wan I was a bit mad into, forgetting I had the running spikes on.
There was blood, and no 1500m medals for the girls' team.

Mr. CooL ICE

When I was 8, some friends of my parents called over for tea. Afterwards, I was watching TV and one of the friends came in and started tickling my feet. Through flailing, I kicked him right in the eye, giving him a massive shiner. Unfortunately, he was going to his brother's wedding the next day as the best man :pac:

On the other hand; Tickle a ticklish person and you deserve what you get

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

i did the same with a cancer joke!

I did the same with a dyslexia joke!

Fizman

When I was about 11/12 I was out in the front garden with my dads golf clubs. I was swinging with his driver for a while, not swinging at balls or anything, just brushing the grass. All of a sudden, at the end of one swing, i felt a thud.

My sister (about 8 at the time) had come over to see what i was doing (little did i know) and at the end of the swing, I had cracked her over the head with the club!!:eek:

She had a nice black eye for about a week. My parents got some bad looks for a while! :pac:


I also dislocated my other sisters arm around the same time. She was about 4 yrs old and was refusing to get up off the ground, so I grabbed her hand and yanked and POP! I strolled off to the toilet in the hope that it would have popped back into place and that her weeping would have also stopped. Neither happened. I got in trouble.

dodgyme

jebuz wrote: »

I've had enough. I'm putting you on ignore. And also anyone else who says it

says what?

AckwelFoley

I accidentally raped my ex's cat.
Yea, daft i know, i was drunk and had kitty mistaken for her dog fufu

motherfunker

Wagon wrote: »

Threw out half a pancake from Lemon cos i wasn't able to finish, only to see a homeless bloke sitting on the other side of the bin looking at me. Oh it was a bad moment.

My friend gave a homeless guy half a hot dog from Rasher Byrnes and he threw it straight back at him. Dont feel bad, most of them just want smack.

beertons

I told a wheelchair joke to a fellow scout (years ago), not knowing that his Dad is in a wheelchair. We never really spoke again. And to rub it in, there's been loads of articles on his Dad over the years.........he's a guard and works in Dublin Castle Traffic Dept. Happened in the line of Duty.

*/ hangs head in shame

ToxicPaddy

Out on a work night out, messing with one of the lads and he jokingly kicked me in the a$$.. then turned around, so me being full of drink turned and unwittingly gave him a full force kick up between the legs, connected perfectly with the family jewels and lifted him a few inches off the ground.. :eek:

Que him collapsing and rolling around on the ground in complete agony, howling and holding the said family jewels..

Poor lad was limping for a few days after that.. oops

zuroph

while on a youth club trip away we started pranking etc over the night, there was a girl asleep in one of the rooms, and i was dared to put toothpaste in her hair. we had the lights off and i grabbed the tube of toothpaste and went to squeeze it into her hair when suddenly the thing squirted a lot easier than it should, right into her eye. she immediately put her hand to her face and rubbed it right into both eyes. i ran out of the room, looked at the tube, it was deep heat gel. tok several hours of eyebaths for her to get her sight back, and i never owned up.

Frisbee

Quazzie2002 wrote: »

i did the same with a cancer joke!

AIDS joke here!

04KY wrote: »

Can somebody ban this guy?

Why? You'd have to ban about half the people who post in AH

Prof.Badass

04KY wrote: »

Can somebody ban this guy?

I love the way some people feel the need to create sock puppet accounts when they want to say something bad about me .

Taco Corp

At a house party few year back, someone decided it was a great idea to play football in a narrow corridor. A few people fell over; I fell over them and landed on one girls head. Blood everywhere, her nose was pumping it. Saw her a few days later and she told me her nose was a little crooked!

Orange69

Frisbee wrote: »

AIDS joke here!

Mine was a necrotizing fasciitis joke...

Vain

Iv broken loads of stuff thats wasn't mine.. Ooops

tony1kenobi

I used to panel a radio show and gave away the twist at the end of the Sixth Sense.

And last week I accidentally killed Jennifer Hudsons' family.

Pighead

Pighead once broke his cat's neck during a game of Penalty King with flossy and spud in the back garden. Peno was a beauty and would undoubtedly have nestled into the corner but buttons had other ideas and for reasons unknown launched herself across the garden stopping the ball and simultaneously breaking her neck.

She lived for another 7 years after that, walking into walls and doors with her crooked neck. And worst of all it was all for nothing as Pighead got to retake the penalty and scored anyway. Sleep well dear buttons.

neuro-praxis

During fairs day one year (the day when all clubs and socs recruit new members) I was going around the main hall with fliers and lollipops for my soc. I whipped up a flier to hand to someone who was approaching and GAVE A GIRL BESIDE ME A PAPER-CUT ON HER EYEBALL.

Seriously. It was bad. She went to hospital and all.

eyresquare

i told john mccain that he had won.my had i counted up that one wrong

Maddison

Mines quite like the very 1st post....when my little boy was just crawling my mobile phone decided It no longer wanted to work for me & like the calm headed person I am I threw it onto the floor where it bounced on the carpet & smacked my son(who by the way was a ''safe'' distance away) above the eye & split him. I dont know who cried more me or him!!!!Still havent forgiven myself & he has a tiny little scar because of me:(

Aisling(",)

i cought my nephews fingers in the front door before when we were younger and playing chasing.i thought slamming the door would stop him didnt cop he'd got that close behind me.ooops

Caoimhín

When i was young and foolish, i was in the pub one night with the lads. I drank too much and suddenly my stomach started retching. I made a run for the toilet and put my hand to my mouth to stop any violent explosions of Guinessy vomit. Alas the vomit came with such force that it sprayed out from between my fingers and hit some young lady square between the eyes.

Now it was a long time ago, im a different man now, honest.

Another time, When i was about 14, i had made a habbit of annoying my classmates by burping into their faces. Now one particular morning I decided to do this first thing in the morning. Up i went to the class nerd and let off a big belch.
Unfortunately, a large amount of my Weetabix breakfast came up as well and into the poor fellows face.

I have changed, im very shy now and wouldn't hurt a fly.