What's the big attraction with men in bands/football players?

sunnyside

Does anybody have an explanation as to why certain women seem to throw themselves at these people?

I met up with my ex recently and would love to go back with him. He works as a musician in a band (a working band, certainly not X Factor wannabies or anything). One of the reasons I won't is because I'm not confident/secure enough to be dealing with the competition.

I've been to the gigs and every time it's the same thing. There will always be a few women hanging around and all they want is to sleep with the guys on the stage. These women are usually stunning with glossy hair and fabulous clothes. They would make any woman feel insecure but especially a girlfriend or wife of a band member.

I can't see what the attraction is. The band guys aren't exceptionally good looking, they work very long hours including every weekend, travel long distances, arrive home at 7am...It's hard work and anti-social hours but women just fall at their feet because of the job they do.

I believe footballers especially county GAA players and rugby players are just as attractive to these women, can anyone explain why?

BKtje

I'm not sure, i guess it's because they do something that the women enjoy watching/listening too. Also they got talent at something exciting.

Maybe someone else can give you more insight.

Nightwish

Well in my home county (home of the McCarthy cup 3 years running ) there are groups of jersey-pullers, who do anything to get near the players of the hurling team. This mystifies me because at the end of the day, they are the guys who you see on the street, or in the shop every week. On the other hand, men in bands can be very attractive. For me, its the creative mind, the artist, is more of an attraction than say...the hired bass guitarist.

Wibbs

Basically high social value men = more interest from women.

Clare Bear

Nightwish wrote: »

Well in my home county (home of the McCarthy cup 3 years running ) there are groups of jersey-pullers, who do anything to get near the players of the hurling team. This mystifies me because at the end of the day, they are the guys who you see on the street, or in the shop every week. On the other hand, men in bands can be very attractive. For me, its the creative mind, the artist, is more of an attraction than say...the hired bass guitarist.

Jaysus, the Kilkenny team are the ugliest around, that is desperate!!! (;)) Ah yeah seen it myself with GAA players, Rugby players (especially) etc....the girls look like idiots surrounding them. They wouldn't look twice at them if they weren't who they are......I'm sure the boys aren't complaining though! Really don't get the whole groupie thing myself, it's sad but sure whatever the eejits are in to.

admiralofthefleet

money

Acacia

Don't really care for footballers, but I love musicians. I think it's their creativity and talent. Front men / singers always appear really confident on stage and that's really attractive.








*Pulls on groupie t-shirt that says : ''I'm with the band!"*

Dragan

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

money

Not really. It's just some people will always be attracted to certain things. Much in the same way the popular people did well for themselves in school, for the most part, that same level of interest will be attached for other things later in life.

I mean, when i left secondary i was no fresco and up to that point i hadn't exactly been a killer with the ladies. When i went to college i started up a band with some people and we did pretty well on the local scene, just playing pubs and colleges and the like. At every gig there was interest being shown.

The same when i worked doors.

The same when i played sports.

I think more than anything else it shows that someone is at least trying, and obviously it displays some physical or mental attributes that others might find attractive.

Then you just have the people who feel that sleeping with someone who is even the smallest local level celeb validates them in some way.

pow wow

I used to 'see' a lad who played bass and wasn't exceptionally good looking (trying to be diplomatic...he wasn't ugly either ) and the girls would be three or four deep trying to get to him before, during and after gigs. I think in some ways their talent is very sexy. Maybe it's the brag value too though?

sunnyside

Nightwish wrote: »

, men in bands can be very attractive. For me, its the creative mind, the artist, is more of an attraction than say...the hired bass guitarist.

My ex is the hired bass guitarist but he still gets lots of female attention as does the married drummer.

Wibbs wrote: »

Basically high social value men = more interest from women.

That makes sense but the guys I'm talking about aren't in the papers every day. I've seen women behave like this around rubbish wedding bands too.

Clare Bear wrote: »

They wouldn't look twice at them if they weren't who they are.

That is so true. These groupie types can't see that the men involved are just as ordinary as everybody else. The groupie types are obsessed with every little detail of the band people or GAA players lifestyle. It's pathetic.

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

money

But they don't have that much moneyBand members are paid, GAA players aren't although I believe they benefit from things like sponsored cars but most of them aren't rich.

Acacia wrote: »

but I love musicians. I think it's their creativity and talent. Front men / singers always appear really confident on stage and that's really attractive.

I can understand this but it doesn't last beyond the 2 hours they are on stage. When I first met the singer who employs my ex I was disappointed. I suppose I was expecting the vibrant and lively stage persona but he was just so ordinary. He was talking about and worrying about his mother who was in hospital, on the phone making a dentist's appointment, completely ordinary and mundane. A nice guy yes but no different to anybody else.

Dragan

sunnyside wrote: »

A nice guy yes but no different to anybody else.

To be honest everyone is. It doesn't matter what job you have, where you work, what you do. Bills need paying, friends and family get sick and sometimes you just want to sit on the couch and do nothing.

It's not any different if your me, Donald Trump, or George Clooney ( I bet The Donald and Georgeous never thought the would be mentioned in the same sentence as me :pac: ) the only difference is your couch is more expensive.

Curlypinkie

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

money

^^^
Does not apply for the GAA crowd now does it? And probably not for a lot of the musicians out there either.

From my point of view sportsmen would have great bodies.
Musicians mightn't have great bodies but wooing the crowd from a stadium, pitch or a stage isn't really much of a difference.

Talent is very attractive and showcasing it is even more so.

sunnyside

Dragan wrote: »

Then you just have the people who feel that sleeping with someone who is even the smallest local level celeb validates them in some way.

ellscurr wrote: »

Maybe it's the brag value too though?

Both of those reasons, definitely.

Dragan wrote: »

To be honest everyone is. It doesn't matter what job you have, where you work, what you do. Bills need paying, friends and family get sick and sometimes you just want to sit on the couch and do nothing.

It's not any different if your me, Donald Trump, or George Clooney ( I bet The Donald and Georgeous never thought the would be mentioned in the same sentence as me :pac: ) the only difference is your couch is more expensive.

Exactly but I'm bitter bacause I lost the best boyfriend over this nonsense. I know it's mostly my fault because I'm just too insecure to be dealing with a man who has gorgeous girls chatting him up every night he's working. Men who work in bands see women looking fabulous all the time because they are working in a social environment. They don't see these women at home without make up in a track suit doing the housework, crying over something silly bacause they have PMT...

The band groupies are never ever the ones who are drunk and making fools of themselves either. Anytime I see them they are always classy types who make me feel frumpy no matter how much effort I've made. Im 30 and they would mostly be younger than me so that doesn't help either. This isn't PI so I'll stop about me now. I'm just interested in the reasons why these women behave why they do.

Dragan

sunnyside wrote: »

Exactly but I'm bitter bacause I lost the best boyfriend over this nonsense. I know it's mostly my fault because I'm just too insecure to be dealing with a man who has gorgeous girls chatting him up every night he's working. Men who work in bands see women looking fabulous all the time because they are working in a social environment. They don't see these women at home without make up in a track suit doing the housework, crying over something silly bacause they have PMT...

The band groupies are never ever the ones who are drunk and making fools of themselves either. Anytime I see them they are always classy types who make me feel frumpy no matter how much effort I've made. Im 30 and they would mostly be younger than me so that doesn't help either. This isn't PI so I'll stop about me now. I'm just interested in the reasons why these women behave why they do.

I'm not sure you are going to get any of the girls here admitting to the type of behaviour you are talking about, so mostly it's all going to be theory! Still fun though.

Out of interest, why no trust for the fella? Or you can just ignore that if i'm being a cheeky git for asking.

sunnyside

Dragan wrote: »

I'm not sure you are going to get any of the girls here admitting to the type of behaviour you are talking about, so mostly it's all going to be theory! Still fun though.

Out of interest, why no trust for the fella? Or you can just ignore that if i'm being a cheeky git for asking.

It's ok, you can ask although I don't have any great explanation for you. The band has a keyboard player who is getting married soon but he sometimes takes these girls up on their offers and provides all the details to other band members on long drive home later. If he was single it wouln't bother me, but he's getting married soon...I don't think this sort of working environment is good for any relationships. When that happens often enough it starts to be seen as normal by the guys involved.

The married with a baby drummer has never ever done anything he shouldn't (or if he has nobody told me) so some of them can definitely be trusted but the environment they work in makes it so easy and if there's one person in the group encouraging such behaviour others will often go along with it anyway even if they hadn't intended to.

I know that it would wreck my head worrying about it. When I go to a gig as a friend I'm always comparing myself to the groupies, imagine how bad I'd be if I was the girlfriend. It's more that I don't want to cope with it than not trusting him.

The singer rarely (but not never) bothers with his groupies. He flirts with them but doesn't go any further and the last time it did go further she became his girlfriend. He still flirts with the fans though, it's part of the job I suppose.

JaneyMc

I suppose it has something to do with the world's obsession with celebrity and status? I know a girl who was never that interested in a particular guy that was mad about her since we started primary school school. When he became famous-ish for his musical abilities she was all over him like a rash.

I'd be with Nightwish on this, any man with a creative mind is a very sexy thing to me. I have never gone out with anyone while they have played in a band, but every one of my ex's bar one has played an instrument.

I would never be one to be a groupie, but there is nothing more sexier than a sexy bassist doing his thing on stage, I just prefer to appreciate from a quiet corner with my pint rather than all up in their face.

Galvasean

*dusts off bass guitar and football boots*

When I was in college I was the hockey team's goalie. No groupie love for hockey goalie?

Nevyn

Sports player = a certain level of phyical fitness and stamina.
Band memeber = sense of rythm, timing and usually dexterity.

Nevyn

Galvasean wrote: »

*dusts off bass guitar and football boots*

When I was in college I was the hockey team's goalie. No groupie love for hockey goalie?

You mean for the guy who stands about preventing the other guys from scoring ?

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

Sports player = a certain level of phyical fitness and stamina.
Band memeber = sense of rythm, timing and usually dexterity.

Less chance of you breaking him

Nevyn

Beruthiel wrote: »

Less chance of you breaking him

Omg!
What have you heard, really I haven't 'broken' that many....

Galvasean

Thaedydal wrote: »

You mean for the guy who stands about preventing the other guys from scoring ?

The goalie never scores in hockey. Ironic, since he can't leave the box.

g'em

Galvasean wrote: »

The goalie never scores in hockey. Ironic, since he can't leave the box.

I was a hockey goalie too and gave a mental high five when I read that. Now I feel kinda durty

Will

Wibbs wrote: »

Basically high social value men = more interest from women.

Ding ding ding!

High value socially, or the perception of it. People are attracted to it, if they get with a guy who is social royalty this well them elevate them to higher grounds.

High social value in turns yields advantages such as people ass kissing, better opportunities, more connections etc.

In short, guy with high social value has a good chance of succeeding in life and this is more attractive to the average female.

jill_valentine

Don't understand the GAA thing. No disrespect to our fine national athletes, but sweet dancing Jehovah, some of them are ugly. Hurlers especially. *Shudder.*

Musicians though, yeah. Talent's a turn on, creative artsy talent especially. This goes triple if the nature of the music is in any way romantic. Even famous rockstar types who aren't... eh... conventionally good-lucking have a devastating effect on me if they can affect a troubled-but-sensitive demeanor and wield an instrument with any competence.

LightningBolt

With the sports people and in particular rugby it's more often than not a social status thing. Speaking from experience some of girls that seek out players are the type that will proclaim "oh my o.h plays for X,Y,Z" followed by "do you know X,Y,Z", a lot of it stems from the Dublin social scene and schools rugby mentality which works it's way up through college and so on, I've seen some absolute weapons go out with good looking girls. Others just like the idea of being with a sporty bloke and the rest just don't really give a **** they just like the guy.

Musicians are just the dogs bollox though and every woman should just throw themselves at their feet!

Dragan

LightningBolt wrote: »

Musicians are just the dogs bollox though and every woman should just throw themselves at their feet!

I find my sure fire way of getting interest is simply to sing.

Jeff Buckley ftw!

WindSock

Galvasean wrote: »

The goalie never scores in hockey. Ironic, since he can't leave the box.

The goalie would get a good plucking alright.






/lame pun

jill_valentine

Mm, that makes sense for Rugby, although when they're young, Rugby players haven't quite reached the apex of their fugliness, so it's easier for that to happen than, with, say Hurling.

I haven't figured out are Hurlers ugly because they play Hurling, or do they start playing Hurling because they're so ugly they have nothing to lose?

Dragan

jill_valentine wrote: »

I haven't figured out are Hurlers ugly because they play Hurling, or do they start playing Hurling because they're so ugly they have nothing to lose?

A and B to be honest. The majority of the bad facial injuries i received from sports were from hurling would you believe.

The game just uglies you up.

Will

In certain circles e.g ruggger buggers(males) and rugger huggers (females), you will always see them together. Again it boils down to social value of the males.

The captain will have some youngin on their arm regardless of his attractiveness. Some sub who could be model quality will have to fight harder just because of his social status.

jill_valentine

Dragan, seeing as it's the internet, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you might not be as fugly as some of the Hurlers I know, but I need to know something: Is ugliness related to skill?

I mean, are ugly hurlers generally better hurlers? Are they ugly because they're willing to take a battering where the pretty boys won't? Or are they ugly because they're crap hurlers and keep trying to catch things with their faces?

Acacia

sunnyside wrote: »

I can understand this but it doesn't last beyond the 2 hours they are on stage. When I first met the singer who employs my ex I was disappointed. I suppose I was expecting the vibrant and lively stage persona but he was just so ordinary. He was talking about and worrying about his mother who was in hospital, on the phone making a dentist's appointment, completely ordinary and mundane. A nice guy yes but no different to anybody else.

Ah yeah, I know that, it's just the on-stage persona is very attractive and that's probably why bands get groupies. I've never actually gone up to musicians after their set and flirted with them or anything( unless I knew them already!) , but I can understand why other girls would. What can I say, I've a soft spot for musicians and performers!

Will

Don't think there's any correlation between skill (whatever it may be) and attractiveness (of any sort).

Dragan

jill_valentine wrote: »

Dragan, seeing as it's the internet, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you might not be as fugly as some of the Hurlers I know, but I need to know something: Is ugliness related to skill?

I mean, are ugly hurlers generally better hurlers? Are they ugly because they're willing to take a battering where the pretty boys won't? Or are they ugly because they're crap hurlers and keep trying to catch things with their faces?

LoL, could be any of it. Generally speaking GAA won't produce guys who are going to get sponsoship deals with clothing lines etc. Why?

Limited gene pool mostly.

I have played with some pretty stunning looking guys, in all sports. I think it is one of those sports that doesn't allow for ego, or being a pussy when it comes to taking some damage.

As an example, i know one guy who is one of the best martial artists i have ever met. He's a natural talent, a big strong lean and good looking guy. Untapped potential and he could, effectively with the right training and coaching, do really well for himself.

He'll never fight because he is too afraid of getting hit in the face. It's not pain he is afraid of, it's scars.

Go figure.

LightningBolt

Dragan wrote: »

I find my sure fire way of getting interest is simply to sing.

Jeff Buckley ftw!

Especially if you're standing outside her apartment at 3 in the morning

I have the groupie lust for Damien Dempsey. Nothing seedy about creative nonsense, the man has great shoulders for an Irish bloke. Unfortunately I am not alone.

Here is an excerpt from the message board on his site.

"when he descended from the steps of the stage to go back to the dress area, I was right in the line of fire in the crowd (this was a tiny little club, so yeah, in order to go "backstage" you have to walk through the crowd to get there). Before I knew it, I had stepped right out and opened my arms and he sank right into them. He deepened the hug, and though I felt like I was being mashed against a wall (sternum, ribs, the works. ah, my poor boobies! Jesus!), I wasn't complaining. I was in heaven!

He held on to me for quite some time (I think I gave him some circle rubbies on his back, I can't remember), until I broke the embrace with a kiss or two to his neck (cos that's all a gal of my height is gonna reach off a guy of his). Very soft, baby skin he's got, not much stubble at all. I'm almost jealous, LOL!

Then he scampered off to get better (so much for being sick though!). That was at the beginning of the year and I still can feel that warmth even now. Just amazing--and completely unexpected! "

Oh I bet documentary video footage would tell a different story.

Frankly I'd be terrified if I had one of these coming at me.

Your story makes me sad op.
I just don't understand how the worst case scenario, is more painful than not being with someone you really like. Especially as he doesn't seem to have done anything himself to make you worry.

jill_valentine

I find the musician thing quite frustrating, really, because it's so irrational. I mean, I don't think foreign aid workers are exactly swimmin' in bitches and ho's, and you'd kind of think that if you were unconsciously looking for sexy, romantic qualities, your foreign aid workers would be a good bet.

Plus, I know for a fact that musicians have a disproportionately high rate of serious personality disorders, so deep down I already know most of them are twats. And any of my friends who are into music, I knew those guys as nice guys before I knew them as musicians, so I don't really think of them the same way, the music isn't a factor in my liking of them.

I'm rational enough to know that finding a guitar-guy attractive on stage is not a basis for a long term relationship or anything. But I'm still irrational enough to find him attractive in the first place. I'm a slave to my girlish whims.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

Omg!
What have you heard, really I haven't 'broken' that many....

I heard they named a hospital ward after you...:D

It's down to a basic attraction trigger. In this case in women. As I said high social value men get more women. High social value men have more resources socially than low value males. That can be applied to all cultures and situations. In our culture a rock star, movie stars, racing driver, footballer, billionaire are all examples of the pinnacle of that value. They're the extremes. In other cultures it might be how many cows or land etc a guy has.

So you get up on stage in some ballygobackwards pub and wail out bad teenage angst songs and at that moment in that context you are the highest social value male in the room. Cue interest from women. They are also somewhat wearing the mask of the higher value males. This goes for men too. High value females in this society, are judged on looks, youth and reproductive fitness. Slim, small waist, large(but not comically large) boobs, long legs etc. Say Kelly brook as a good example. Now you will have a woman that approaches that extreme and men will fawn over her. Of course if kelly brook actually walked in the local lass would be relegated to second place. Much in the same way if a 25 year old Mick jagger say strolled into the pub in ballygobackwards.

The promiscuity angle is simple enough I reckon. Faced with those triggers we all try to get the highest value mate we can get based on our own value. Study after study have shown that we do this anyway. If ten couples pictures are separated into individual men and women and people are asked to match them as couples, the accuracy rate is very high. Generally, the only thing that will skew it is the wealth/social power of the man. If we get the chance to get with an extreme that we normally wouldnt get near then many will take that risk. Both men and women(unless in the early stages of luuurve).

A guy may not cheat on his partner with Maureen down the road. The risk won't be worth the reward. But chances go up a lot if he is propositioned by someone like the aforementioned kelly brook. He may prefer a long termer, but will take the one nighter if offered.

Same goes for women. Indeed in my experience young women, especially high value women are more likely to keep an eye open for a better opportunity(to cheat or more often move up in status permanently). I would say the lower the status of the man compared to his partner the higher the chances of cheating. Later on it's more likely to be men that do it. Basically more 22 year old women playing away than 22 year old men and more 45 year old men playing away than 45 year old women.

But after all that BS, GAA players? really don't get it.

Nevyn

Wibbs wrote: »

I heard they named a hospital ward after you...:D

ah ok that makes more sense if you mean broken in terms of the mental and emotional rather then physical.

Wibbs wrote: »

But after all that BS, GAA players? really don't get it.

You're a Dub, you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

Galvasean

Thaedydal wrote: »

You're a Dub, you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

jill_valentine

I think out there, in the dark midlands, it's a far more Darwinian instinct. You know, GAA players, you can size up their good meaty thighs and strong lifting shoulders and decide that yes, they can probably club the most mammoths to death to provide for your potential litter.

Scary place out there, you know.

Wibbs

Thaedydal wrote: »

ah ok that makes more sense if you mean broken in terms of the mental and emotional rather then physical.

You're a Dub,

Thank God....

you have not experienced how GAA players esp the srn team county panel who do well are treated like demi gods in small towns.

..... for this reason:p:D

Nevyn

Galvasean wrote: »

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

Yep.

jill_valentine wrote: »

I think out there, in the dark midlands, it's a far more Darwinian instinct. You know, GAA players, you can size up their good meaty thighs and strong lifting shoulders and decide that yes, they can probably club the most mammoths to death to provide for your potential litter.

Scary place out there, you know.

Well it can be a good gage if you are looking for someone who will work on the farm all hours of the night and day and be carrying bales of hay and trunips to the cattle.

WindSock

Thats because there is nothing to do down in the shticks, so they have to worship something that might give them a thrill. The Virgin Mary just doesn't do it for most people :P

Thaedydal

Thaedydal wrote: »

Yep.



Well it can be a good gage if you are looking for someone who will work on the farm all hours of the night and day and be carrying bales of hay and trunips to the cattle.

Oh please! That is the purpose of breeding.
Acreage is the only important factor when chosing a life partner.

Dragan

Galvasean wrote: »

So you're saying it's a sort of primitive fascination?

I'd call in localised pride.

How many people who pop on a Dublin Jersey actually know any of the players who will be on the field. Same for Munster, or Leinster Rugby?

Very few.

Generally speak, down the sticks as people say, we went to school with a few players, played with them ourselves. They work local, maybe own a local business.

These are people we talk to everyday of our lives for some of us.

So you know them, you appreciate their efforts, you have an emotional investment in whether these people that you know win or lose.

That type of contact with people can do a lot for your attraction to them i guess?

People laugh about it, but many folk down the country take the success of the local team very much the heart. You don't get fair weather fans, male or female.

jill_valentine

That's a very good point, Dragan, but on the other hand, I've got dwendy akers, and you've got fordy three.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAh_A7N3_mc

jill_valentine

jill_valentine wrote: »

I've got dwendy akers, and you've got fordy three.

That time you went down the country, did you cross a glow in the dark stretch of sea, and did the people have an ungodly fascination with all things pastie?

Fact. English men have smaller acres. Yuck!

Anyway who I really don't understand are the "It's got a pee pee and a pulse and it works in my office" groupies.

WW3 broke out in my Sis'es place last year, because one of the girls managed to snog the aforementioned object of everyones affection.
She ended up getting lectured on sisterhood, while being held hostage in the stationary cupboard.

stovelid

sunnyside wrote: »

Does anybody have an explanation as to why certain women seem to throw themselves at these people?

Wibbs

Moonbaby wrote: »

Anyway who I really don't understand are the "It's got a pee pee and a pulse and it works in my office" groupies.

WW3 broke out in my Sis'es place last year, because one of the girls managed to snog the aforementioned object of everyones affection.
She ended up getting lectured on sisterhood, while being held hostage in the stationary cupboard.

People are very situational and actually quite easy to predict and in that situation, office pulse boy is the highest value male, hence the attraction. Throw in women being more socially competitive and it can get whipped up into a frenzy that the object didn't deserve in the first place. They dislike her because a) she "won" and b) has killed the fantasy. If any of them think they're higher value(better looking) than your sis then they'll really dislike her.