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Ring problem

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24

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    #32
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Hagar wrote: »
    Forget me taking a leap, single means available for courtship. Am I right?

    Possibly. Just because a woman is technically available for courtship doesn't mean she will jump into bed with everyone.

    I was asked it in the bank the other day, didn't mean I was going to leap the counter and sleep with the guy who asked.

    He probably thought the exact same thing a woman thinks when she sees no wedding ring.... 'Single / available'.

    Of course, you're on a crusade here, so you won't see the similarity.


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    #33
    Iago
    Registered Users Posts: 6,638 ✭✭✭Iago


    Silverfish wrote: »
    He probably thought the exact same thing a woman thinks when she sees no wedding ring.... 'Single / available'.

    Of course, you're on a crusade here, so you won't see the similarity.


    forgive me for jumping into an argument but there's a world of difference between not wearing your wedding ring as you don't like it, and telling people you're single when you're married.

    I got your original point, but I think you've gone off-track now. If my wife insisted that I wear my ring then she would be forcing me to do so, if I insisted that she accept that I don't want to wear a ring then I would be forcing her to change what's she's comfortable with. Neither bodes well for a relationship to be honest.


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    #34
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    The only crusade I'm on is for women not to judge their husband's wish not to wear a wedding ring as a sign of lack of commitment. It is for many, myself included, simply a personal choice.

    As I said before I can only speak from my own life experience, In almost 28 years of marriage I have not needed a ring to remind what's important to me and anyone who tried to intrude on that was politely sent on their way.


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    #35
    helimachoptor
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    smares wrote: »
    My boyfriend seems to have a phobia of wearing rings. Last night I tried my ring on his finger and he freaked out. After that he said that if we ever got married he would not wear a wedding ring on his finger ever but would wear it on a chain.
    I would like my husband to wear his ring on his finger, does anyone else think it is a little bit strange?

    Nope, I've already told my gf i wont be wearing a ring, I like nice watches so i'll be wearing one of those once the ceremony is done


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    #36
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Hagar wrote: »
    The only crusade I'm on is for women not to judge their husband's wish not to wear a wedding ring as a sign of lack of commitment. It is for many, myself included, simply a personal choice.

    As I said before I can only speak from my own life experience, In almost 28 years of marriage I have not needed a ring to remind what's important to me and anyone who tried to intrude on that was politely sent on their way.



    possibly, but I feel its unfair to tell someone its 'wrong' to just WANT her husband to wear a wedding ring.


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    #37
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Silverfish wrote: »
    possibly, but I feel its unfair to tell someone its 'wrong' to just WANT her husband to wear a wedding ring.

    I never said that anywhere.

    There is nothing wrong with a wife wanting her husband to wear a ring,
    equally there is nothing wrong with him not wanting to wear a ring.

    There's more to a marriage than the trappings.
    It's very easy to loose sight of that in the hurly burly of arranging the wedding itself.


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    #38
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I think it is understandable that a person would like for their spouse to wear what is in our society the outward symbol of their committed relationship.

    Want is a term I see as a demand and when it comes to making someone else do what a person wants them to do and disregard that persons wishes then thats a problem.

    Need is another thing, if a person said that they need thier spouse to wear a wedding ring then they should look at where that need is coming from and discover and deal with the issues from which that need is coming from.

    If a symbol or a token becomes more of an issue then what is represents then a person has to look to themselves and see if they can reach a comprise with their spouse to be and if they can't reach an understanding and a respectful compromise then it does not auger well for the relationship/marriage.


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    #39
    ziggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ziggy


    This post has been deleted.


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    #40
    Gone West
    Registered Users Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭Gone West


    Wow I can't believe teh issues that people make of "symbols".
    Its just a symbol. If someone doesn't want to wear it, and it becomes an issue, well its a problem with the OH really at that stage. That they can take issue with nono-display of a symbol. It says more about that one persons insecurities than anything else.
    However, if you're at the stage where you're married, one would expect that the OH would understand and accommodate their OH's insecurities without making a big deal of it!

    A Shamrock is a shamrock and also a symbol.


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    #41
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    Silverfish wrote: »
    Its just an excuse. You could be even more injured by the ring on a chain around your neck than on your finger.

    My Dad doesn't wear his wedding ring in work. He's had 2 destroyed and nearly lost a hand because of it once ( instead it was just his fingers getting ripped out of the sockets ).

    The reason he doesn't wear it to work anymore is because Mam will kick the crap out of him if he gets hurt.

    It's a case of pick your poison really.;)


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    #42
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    I'm the most faithful guy ever. Bit ofa dirtbird when I'm single, but when I'm going out with sum1 I don't even look at other girls.

    And I won't be wearing no wedding ring if I ever get hitched. I think jewellery on guys looks stupid. But I won't be sleeping around.


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    #43
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    My dad takes his off for work and puts it on when he's finished.

    He doesn't not wear it at all, and say 'Ah, I might get injured!' when its 7.30pm and he's reading the paper.

    24 hours in a day, only in work for 8 of those.


    I personally don't care if I was to get married, whether my husband wears it or not. Its all just a symbol anyway, like the bit of paper and so on. Marriage itself is only a symbol, so I suppose you can pick and choose which bits of it you don't like, so long as you're clear to the other person.


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    #44
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    The only time I wear a ring on my ring finger is when I am alone in certain countries that I wish not to get bothered in. Thats all a ring means to me. A bull**** symbol that is recognised by others. If I were married, I still wouldnt wear a ring, nor would I be married to a man that expects me to. There are more important things in a marriage and if you base it on how big your wedding is, or how expensive your ring, then you have problems from the start.


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    #45
    NextSteps
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭NextSteps


    To the OP's boyfriend: I used to be like that, a ring (or anything tight such as a bracelet) would make me panicky. Then I found, once I was given a ring as a present, that once I could slip it off easily it was ok. Now I miss it if I don't have it on. So you can probably get used to it if you want to.


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    #46
    Anti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    I had this convo with my OH last night. Told her i dont like rings, i think they look stupid on me. I'd be in the same boat as Hagar, id wear it for the day but after that it can go onto a chain or put away somewhere safe.

    Dont forget, as girls you are brough up wearing jewelery. We on the other hand are not. They feel akward and out of place. And it sounds like the OP's OH has a slight claustrophobia(sp??) issue where he gets anxious wearing one.

    Its a fucking ring at the end of the day, it does not make or break the marrige. To me its as useless as the 25k an average wedding costs a complete waste of money. I'd rather get her name tatood around my finger. Its there, but i cant feel it !


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    #47
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    I like the idea of a wedding watch for guys - looks a lot more manly :)


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    #48
    Anti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    Piste wrote: »
    I like the idea of a wedding watch for guys - looks a lot more manly :)


    Great idea actually.

    One of these sil vous plait

    watches-3069.jpg


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    #49
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    So you can keep tabs on your various mistresses all over the world is it? :p


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    #50
    Anti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,401 ✭✭✭✭Anti


    Ah jasus its 3pm in LA now... gotta make a quick call ;)


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    #51
    Drift
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭Drift


    Manties wrote: »
    Great idea actually.

    One of these sil vous plait

    watches-3069.jpg

    :eek: Is that abomination a watch or some sort of hairdressing tool!

    If you want a manly watch you're going to have to pick a MAN'S watch first of all!
    ec94c88344e2253649d48abd3fde4d97.jpg


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    #52
    View Profile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭View Profile


    I've noticed from reading this thread that men seem to have a huge resentment towards wearing a wedding band.
    They argue that they do not need to prove their commitment to their wife by having towear one.

    Why the big deal lads? Do you think it symbolises a "ball and chain" situation that your wife has over you?!

    Is it a rebellious thing? That you shouldn't have to do just because tradition says so.
    Is it an anti-religious thing where you don't want to adhere to the churches customs?

    To be honest, the comfort excuse is a load of krap. If I strapped a bike lock to your neck you'd get used to it after a week or so.
    A wedding band is no different and the wearer won't notice it after some time. Its bairly visible either so I wouldnt worry about it ruining your fashionable look.
    Also, in most jobs wearing a band shouldn't cause a hazard to the wearer.

    I'm unmarried but in a long term realtionship. I don't wear any jewellery because, like previously said, I don't think it suits most men and also the comfort reason.

    However if I was to wed my girlfriend, I would happily wear the wedding band. Not because she wants me to but because I would be proud to. Wearing a wedding band not only is a pleasant reminder of your loved one but it also expresses to others that your in a commited relationship.

    I just don't see what the big deal is lads.
    :rolleyes:


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    #53
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Why can't you just accept it?


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    #54
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Manties wrote: »
    Dont forget, as girls you are brough up wearing jewelery.

    Eh no, I sure as hell wasn't and neither were any of my sisters.
    View Profile wrote: »
    I've noticed from reading this thread that men seem to have a huge resentment towards wearing a wedding band.
    They argue that they do not need to prove their commitment to their wife by having towear one.

    I am not a bloke and I still agree with that

    View Profile wrote: »
    Is it a rebellious thing? That you shouldn't have to do just because tradition says so.

    I have a lot of time for useful traditions, not mindless ones.
    View Profile wrote: »
    Is it an anti-religious thing where you don't want to adhere to the churches customs?

    There are more religions then just christian church ones, if I ever get married there will not be a church, but I am not anti religious.
    View Profile wrote: »
    To be honest, the comfort excuse is a load of krap. If I strapped a bike lock to your neck you'd get used to it after a week or so.
    A wedding band is no different and the wearer won't notice it after some time. Its bairly visible either so I wouldnt worry about it ruining your fashionable look.
    Also, in most jobs wearing a band shouldn't cause a hazard to the wearer.

    If it impares my functionality I won't wear it and a ring impares my ability to type and to play piano so I don't wear one and would not wear a wedding band regularly either.
    View Profile wrote: »
    However if I was to wed my girlfriend, I would happily wear the wedding band. Not because she wants me to but because I would be proud to. Wearing a wedding band not only is a pleasant reminder of your loved one but it also expresses to others that your in a commited relationship.

    So she would not be in your thoughts with out it ?
    Only married relationships are committed ones ?
    View Profile wrote: »
    I just don't see what the big deal is lads.
    :rolleyes:

    It's not a big deal for you it is for others.


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    #55
    View Profile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭View Profile


    Btw, I like the idea about a wedding watch.

    While the bride gets an expensive dress custom made and the groom a grubby rented Black-Tie tux, I think the man should get a watch of similar value to the dress.:D

    My choice......
    2007101250100301.jpg


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    #56
    View Profile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭View Profile


    Hagar wrote: »
    Why can't you just accept it?

    May be i'm just old fashioned and I like the romantic idea of having a ring to display your love towards your wife.


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    #57
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,294 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    View Profile wrote: »
    I've noticed from reading this thread that men seem to have a huge resentment towards wearing a wedding band.
    They argue that they do not need to prove their commitment to their wife by having towear one.

    I don't think that's the case at all. Some guys have no problem wearing rings, I know a great many who do. Equally there are some who don't, for whatever reason. I don't think it's any different to the fact that some women like wearing certain types of jewellery, earrings, for example, and some don't. Sure, earrings don't have the same symbolic value as a wedding ring, but I wouldn't be insisting that my wife wear a pair if she doesn't like wearing them. I'm not a big fan of rings on guys in general, but as I'm single and not likely to be married anytime in the near future, it's not something I have to give much thought to. As for the watch idea, I know a couple of guys who hate the idea of wearing a watch. They both wear wedding rings though, so it's different strokes for different folks.


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    #58
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    But I gave her one to wear with a few big fat diamonds on it.
    How romantic do you want?

    I ask nothing for myself and you won't even leave me with that.


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    #59
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,294 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    View Profile wrote: »
    May be i'm just old fashioned and I like the romantic idea of having a ring to display your love towards your wife.

    Actually it's not that old-fashioned at all. My parents were married in the mid 60s, and while my father wears a signet ring on his wedding ring finger, it was rare enough for men to wear wedding rings at all back then.


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    #60
    View Profile
    Registered Users Posts: 1,133 ✭✭✭View Profile


    So she would not be in your thoughts with out it ?

    I think your being pedantic here Thaedydal. Of course she would. No more than a photo in my wallet would remind me of her. It's nice to have these reminders around.
    Only married relationships are committed ones ?

    Of course not. But it is easy to notice that someone is in a relationship if they're wearing a wedding band/ring.
    There are more religions then just christian church ones, if I ever get married there will not be a church, but I am not anti religious.

    Wedding rings arn't exclusive to Christanity, they arn't exclusive to religion actually. They are a symbol of union, a bond betwwen two people.


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    #61
    smares
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 304 ✭✭smares


    View Profile wrote: »
    May be i'm just old fashioned and I like the romantic idea of having a ring to display your love towards your wife.


    Exactly,why bother say your vows while exchanging rings when your husband is going to take it off the next day thats no way romantic,the whole point of it is you wear it for the rest of your life

    I don't think exchanging watches is romantic at all. Not that I believe this old saying but giving a watch to someone is meant to stand for time up on the relationship or something to that effect!!


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