Dying for a proposal

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 3:24pm #1

Some of your (men) will find this silly but I'm going crazy for my OH to propose. We are together nearly 4 years and have a house together and I would love to get engaged. I have dropped hints and he has said that it will happen before the end of the year, he doesn't want to do it just any old way and we don't have much money at the moment so I think he'l trying to come up with something that doesn't cost a bomb

I presonally couldnt care less how he does it once he does it, i know he loves me and thats all I need but I've become obsessed. I'm looking up engagement rings and everything about proposals/weddings. By the way it's not purely for the ring, we've already decided to spend very little on the ring as I don't want anything big and fancy and in a couple of years we might buy a more expensive one.

I think I'm just in love with the whole idea and it makes it worse that all my friends are married/engaged. I have no patience to wait until December

I suppose I'm like this with everything so its no surprise.

Anyone else waiting on a propsal?

Nevyn · 29-08-2008 3:29pm

Gods no, unless you are including the indecent kind.

29-08-2008 3:31pm

Janey mack - you're with the guy of your dreams, you own a house together and you're worring about getting proposed to. What is wrong with you? You're probably causing him loads of grief. He said he'll do it, so just relax and let him do it his way. And for god's stop looking at engagement rings and reading about proposals and be happy you've got someone who'll put up with all your idiosyncracies.

Be cool. Don't be the annoying girlfriend, or he might start to rethink his decision.

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 3:32pm

Hi Thaedydal

I take it your not engaged/married? Are you just not interested in that type of thing?

I didnt think I wasn until the last year. I didn't fantasize about getting married as a child or size my OH up when we met for husband material and dream about what we would name our kids but lately it's taking over my brain!

29-08-2008 3:34pm

I

Sparkles!!!!!!!

An engagement ring is really important to me, more so than the wedding day or the honeymoon.
Because that is with you everyday of your life, as a testement to your feelings to each other. And obviously it is prettier than the wedding ring.
I can't for the life me understand why anyone would want to upgrade an object with such signifigance to a more materially valuable one.
It misses the point imo.

Chinafoot · 29-08-2008 3:36pm

Why not propose to him if you're so keen?

Winters · 29-08-2008 3:39pm

Maybe go a for a ball and chain instead of a ring? Could be cheaper.

Oryx · 29-08-2008 3:40pm

Ill admit I went through that phase. I was with my fella 15 years before we got spliced. But I promise you its not half as romantic as Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan et al make it seem. Its a lovely gesture but in no time at all you and your fella will be back to bog standard, with what you have going already. (and lucky you as well) That goes for marriage too, which again, is a lovely milestone, but essentially, wont change your life one jot.

Im with Thaedydal. The only proposals I welcome these days are the suggestive ones.

R0ot · 29-08-2008 3:40pm

Just be patient OP, hide the engagement books as he is probably under enough pressure as it is thinking about it without seeing you every hour/day/week looking at engagement magazines.

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 3:41pm

God am I coming across as really bad!? The ring will mean a lot, what I mean was I'm not materialistic and I'm not looking for a very expensive one. It was his idea to get a cheaper one now an upgrade in a few years when we have the money (if we want to). I'm sure I would probably never change the ring because of what it means.

P...I know I have a great OH and house but some times a girl likes a bit more. I haven't been nagging him don't worry. I'm just doing my own research etc.

He said to me before that if I ever done it that he wouldn't be able to take it serious, he's very traditional so I'm leaving it up to him!

Clare Bear · 29-08-2008 3:41pm

Ah relax, you're with a great guy, be happy. He'll do it when/if he wants to. Wouldn't you rather he do it of his own accord than you dropping hints and practically forcing him to ask you?

LouOB · 29-08-2008 3:42pm

CAT24 wrote: »

Some of your (men) will find this silly but I'm going crazy for my OH to propose. We are together nearly 4 years and have a house together and I would love to get engaged. I have dropped hints and he has said that it will happen before the end of the year, he doesn't want to do it just any old way and we don't have much money at the moment so I think he'l trying to come up with something that doesn't cost a bomb

I presonally couldnt care less how he does it once he does it, i know he loves me and thats all I need but I've become obsessed. I'm looking up engagement rings and everything about proposals/weddings. By the way it's not purely for the ring, we've already decided to spend very little on the ring as I don't want anything big and fancy and in a couple of years we might buy a more expensive one.

I think I'm just in love with the whole idea and it makes it worse that all my friends are married/engaged. I have no patience to wait until December I suppose I'm like this with everything so its no surprise.

Anyone else waiting on a propsal?

I totally get you CAT24
I have never been the kids/marraige thing before (and same boat as yourself house etc) but last year was at my first ever wedding. Since then Im abit obsessed.
Thing is once you get what you want - what next? Then all of a sudden you are a year down the road with huge wedding costs and you are fighting with OH.

Whats for you wont go by you - as my dad said. So enjoy your time with OH now as years down the line you mightnt have time as kids + other responsibilites.

Kinetic^ · 29-08-2008 3:45pm

p wrote: »

Janey mack - you're with the guy of your dreams, you own a house together and you're worring about getting proposed to. What is wrong with you? You're probably causing him loads of grief. He said he'll do it, so just relax and let him do it his way. And for god's stop looking at engagement rings and reading about proposals and be happy you've got someone who'll put up with all your idiosyncracies.

Be cool. Don't be the annoying girlfriend, or he might start to rethink his decision.

+ 1 MOTHERFÙCKING GAZILLION BILLION MILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dudess · 29-08-2008 3:51pm

CAT24 wrote: »

it makes it worse that all my friends are married/engaged

Is this maybe what's causing it?

Sabre0001 · 29-08-2008 3:52pm

Kinetic^ wrote: »

+ 1 MOTHERFÙCKING GAZILLION BILLION MILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Under a little bit of pressure yourself Kinetic are you

As said though, you have great things going for you...Relax and it will happen. Good luck!

Kinetic^ · 29-08-2008 3:53pm

Sabre0001 wrote: »

Under a little bit of pressure yourself Kinetic are you

Quiet you!! I told her what's what and she respects that!! Go back to playing quake!!! :pac:

Ginny · 29-08-2008 3:55pm

CAT24 are you 24?
Jesus.

You are starting to sound like the makings of a bridezilla, why are you looking for the NEXT BIG THING instead of enjoying what you have?
I'm sure an engagement is lovely and all, but god its not the most important thing in the world.
You've said it yourself you're obsessed, which is a bit strange, why are you spending so much time thinking about this?
Is it because others are getting engaged around you?

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 4:01pm

I'm 25, I'm definitely not bridezilla and maybe I didn't do myself justice when writing the original post. I am very happy with what I have at the moment and its not just that I'm looking for the 'next big thing', I genuinely want to marry this guy and all the other stuff that comes with it. I'm generally like this about everything, if I'm planning a holiday I think about it and research it to death, i think I'm just one of those people.

I'm not stressing him or putting any pressure on him because I wouldn't want to be asked just so he gets some peace because that doesn't make sense!

I can see i'm totally alone on this, thought I might find some women lurking in this forum who was the same

sweet-rasmus · 29-08-2008 4:01pm

Ah, I totally get you. You start going to a few weddings and you love your OH to bits and don't see any other future then you together

There is nothing wrong with your thoughts

Some people just don't like the idea... Meh

LouOB · 29-08-2008 4:02pm

Might you need another hobby to keep you mind busy - rather than looking at shiny new things on the internet
Night course?

mossyj · 29-08-2008 4:03pm

CAT24 wrote: »

Some of your (men) will find this silly but I'm going crazy for my OH to propose. We are together nearly 4 years and have a house together and I would love to get engaged. I have dropped hints and he has said that it will happen before the end of the year, he doesn't want to do it just any old way and we don't have much money at the moment so I think he'l trying to come up with something that doesn't cost a bomb

I presonally couldnt care less how he does it once he does it, i know he loves me and thats all I need but I've become obsessed. I'm looking up engagement rings and everything about proposals/weddings. By the way it's not purely for the ring, we've already decided to spend very little on the ring as I don't want anything big and fancy and in a couple of years we might buy a more expensive one.

I think I'm just in love with the whole idea and it makes it worse that all my friends are married/engaged. I have no patience to wait until December I suppose I'm like this with everything so its no surprise.

Anyone else waiting on a propsal?

I've been happily with my g/f for over 7 years now(living together for the past 2) + we've both discussed (2 way discussion btw

)the marriage thing and see no need for it just yet. I have to say though if she started pushing it/hinting at it i would start to get uncomfortable pretty quick. your relationship is quite young so dont rush it.....

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 4:06pm

I think it has something to do with friends etc, my friend is married and there only together 2 years. I think in my eyes I see 4 years as a long time. We had one of those general discussions about marriage etc and we BOTH agreed we wanted it and now I'm just waiting for him to make his move.

Its not just the ring that I'm interested in! I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, my mind just wanders some times

IanCurtis · 29-08-2008 4:07pm

CAT24 wrote: »

I know I have a great OH and house but some times a girl likes a bit more

Lucky guy

No wonder he's not proposing.

mossyj · 29-08-2008 4:08pm

IanCurtis wrote: »

Lucky guy

No wonder he's not proposing.

+1

CAT24 · 29-08-2008 4:08pm

Originally Posted by IanCurtis
Lucky guy
No wonder he's not proposing

Explain!

Ginny · 29-08-2008 4:09pm

CAT24 wrote: »

I'm 25, I'm definitely not bridezilla and maybe I didn't do myself justice when writing the original post. I am very happy with what I have at the moment and its not just that I'm looking for the 'next big thing', I genuinely want to marry this guy and all the other stuff that comes with it. I'm generally like this about everything, if I'm planning a holiday I think about it and research it to death, i think I'm just one of those people.

I'm not stressing him or putting any pressure on him because I wouldn't want to be asked just so he gets some peace because that doesn't make sense!

I can see i'm totally alone on this, thought I might find some women lurking in this forum who was the same

I research holidays etc to death, and eventually one day I'm sure I'll get married.
What I don't understand is the "dying for him to propose..." and generally being obsessed about the whole idea.
It really does sound like wanting the ring and being in love with the idea rather then the emotional commitment to each other.
TBH you need to chill out a bit, if you're this obsessed about it you might be freaking your other half out.

CAT24 wrote: »

I think it has something to do with friends etc, my friend is married and there only together 2 years. I think in my eyes I see 4 years as a long time. We had one of those general discussions about marriage etc and we BOTH agreed we wanted it and now I'm just waiting for him to make his move.

Its not just the ring that I'm interested in! I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, my mind just wanders some times

I'm sorry but everyones relationship is different and works at different levels speeds, comparing lenght of time re proposal etc. will only get yourself upset.

29-08-2008 4:13pm

mossyj wrote: »

I've been happily with my g/f for over 7 years now(living together for the past 2) + we've both discussed (2 way discussion btw )the marriage thing and see no need for it just yet. I have to say though if she started pushing it/hinting at it i would start to get uncomfortable pretty quick. your relationship is quite young so dont rush it.....

Is it fair to be with someone for 7 + years, if the idea of commiting to them genuinely makes you feel like that.

Like it or not the point of life is to make and raise babies.

IanCurtis · 29-08-2008 4:14pm

CAT24 wrote: »

Originally Posted by IanCurtis
Lucky guy
No wonder he's not proposing

Explain!

You are sounding like a selfish, materialistic person and I don't blame your boyfriend for not tying himself to you. I pity him in many ways.

ntlbell · 29-08-2008 4:14pm

CAT24 wrote: »

I think it has something to do with friends etc, my friend is married and there only together 2 years. I think in my eyes I see 4 years as a long time. We had one of those general discussions about marriage etc and we BOTH agreed we wanted it and now I'm just waiting for him to make his move.

Its not just the ring that I'm interested in! I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, my mind just wanders some times

Try to stop focusing on what your friends are doing or not doing and as has been said all ready enjoy what you have now.

Not sure what move your waiting on he's currently making you happy and has done for the last four years so it seems to me he makes "moves" every day.

an engagement nor a wedding will change how he feels about you or you him so what's the rush?

ntlbell · 29-08-2008 4:16pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

Is it fair to be with someone for 7 + years, if the idea of commiting to them genuinely makes you feel like that.

Like it or not the point of life is to make and raise babies.

It's probably no the act of committing that would make him feel uncomfortable but the thought of being preasurised into it might

Dudess · 29-08-2008 4:16pm

Yeah, as someone asked already, why don't you propose if you'd like it to happen sooner? Although I thought he was gonna propose to you eventually so there must be a reason for that, is there? If he has a particular point in time in mind, why do you think there's a chance of him speeding things up?

Then again though, a proposal is only a proposal - it can surely be done at any time. I mean it's literally just someone saying something (the ring can be chosen later - lots of people do it that way). Wouldn't it be more exciting if he sprang it on you spontaneously instead of marking a set date to do so?

Dying for a proposal

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