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Priest objecting to marriage?

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13

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    #62
    Bduffman
    Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭Bduffman


    Tim Robbins wrote: »
    "Religions thrive on truth.
    Would agree with everything you said - except the above ;)


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    #63
    Zombrex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 25,848 ✭✭✭✭Zombrex


    CTU_Agent wrote: »
    My reasons for getting married in a church are because I am catholic and I want our marriage to take place in the house of god. Simple as that.

    You seem to be slightly missing the point that according to the Catholic Church, and by your own admission, you aren't a very good Catholic, and as such they don't really want to marry you.

    It is, after all, their church. It is private property. You don't have a right to get married in a Catholic church if the Catholic Church determine that you are not acting in a way that is in tune with the teaches of the Church.

    Has it occurred to you that, while you may be a Christian, you don't actually believe in Catholicism, you don't actually believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church?


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    #64
    Tim Robbins
    Registered Users Posts: 8,959 ✭✭✭Tim Robbins


    Bduffman wrote: »
    Would agree with everything you said - except the above ;)

    :-)


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    #65
    Soul Winner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,534 ✭✭✭Soul Winner


    CTU_Agent wrote: »
    I have absolutley no interest in getting married in a church to impress friends and family. If I wanted to impress i would have booked a castle and had a civil ceremony instead. My reasons for getting married in a church are because I am catholic and I want our marriage to take place in the house of god. Simple as that.

    How can you call yourself a Catholic when you don’t and won’t even go to Mass? I'm really starting to side with the Priest on this one and I never like it when that happens :D Why is getting married in a Church building so important to you when 52 Sundays out of every year Church buildings hold no importance to you at all? If you were a committed Catholic and this was happening to you I would be outraged for you but you're not so I have no empathy or sympathy for you I'm sorry.


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    #66
    BrianCalgary
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭BrianCalgary


    In Nov 1992 we moved across country and my son was born at the end of te month. We lived in rural Ontario, the closest church was an Anglican church which we all went to.

    When it came time for my sons baptism we went to the closest RC church and he refused mu son baptism. We were a little miffed because of teh inconvenience to us, his reason was that he didn't know us nor had he ever met us or seen us at mass.

    Fair enough, my boy was baptised in teh Anglican church, what a happy bunch, first infant baptism there in recent memory, quite a celebration.

    Then off we went to the priest who married us, a 2 hour drive away, and he baptised the boy.

    There are ways to do it. Go to your former priest who knows you, could be one solution.


    PS, my son then chose to be baptised as a 13 year old giving his own testimony. :D


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    #67
    Tim Robbins
    Registered Users Posts: 8,959 ✭✭✭Tim Robbins


    BrianCalgary wrote: »
    There are ways to do it. Go to your former priest who knows you, could be one solution.
    But what if he doesn't even know one RC Priest?
    What would that say?


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    #68
    BrianCalgary
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭BrianCalgary


    Tim Robbins wrote: »
    But what if he doesn't even know one RC Priest?
    What would that say?

    Then how could one be expected to be married in and RC church or participate in any of teh sacraments without ever knowing a priest?:confused:


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    #69
    Stark
    Registered Users Posts: 20,894 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    BrianCalgary wrote: »
    Then how could one be expected to be married in and RC church or participate in any of teh sacraments without ever knowing a priest?:confused:

    And there you have it in one.


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    #70
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    Wicknight wrote: »
    Has it occurred to you that, while you may be a Christian, you don't actually believe in Catholicism, you don't actually believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church?

    Oh my goodness! I actually agree whole heartily with you here, Wicknight.

    What's happening :eek:


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    #71
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Fanny Cradock wrote: »
    Oh my goodness! I actually agree whole heartily with you here, Wicknight.

    What's happening :eek:

    Absolutely I'm just as astounded as you are to see theists and atheists agreeing on an issue in the Christian forum for once. :eek:


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    #72
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    These are strange times, Jackass!


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    #73
    Sangre
    Registered Users Posts: 12,153 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    On a completely unrelated note there are these four weird horsemen standing outside my window...


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    #74
    Michael G
    Registered Users Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Michael G


    Jakkass wrote: »
    Absolutely I'm just as astounded as you are to see theists and atheists agreeing on an issue in the Christian forum for once. :eek:
    And there are Christians agreeing with them as well. Actually I think it's just an outbreak of clear thinking on all sides, regardless of people's differing convictions.


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    #75
    Tim Robbins
    Registered Users Posts: 8,959 ✭✭✭Tim Robbins


    Michael G wrote: »
    And there are Christians agreeing with them as well. Actually I think it's just an outbreak of clear thinking on all sides, regardless of people's differing convictions.
    I think the common factor between all the Christians and Atheists here is that we try not to be hypocrites. We think about what we belief in and then try to live that way. The OP is bemused why he can't be a hypocrite.


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    #76
    Michael G
    Registered Users Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Michael G


    Bduffman wrote: »
    I wonder how many church weddings there would be every year if this rule was strictly adhered to?
    There are already far too many. The currency is devalued. What I really find painful – having had to attend several of them – is the fact that these church weddings happen during Mass and that people who are certainly not observant Catholics, and many others who are at best nominal Catholics, receive Holy Communion. With apologies to the Protestant and non-Christian and atheist posters here, we believe that the Eucharist is, really and physically, the body of Christ. To take the Eucharist is one of the most serious things anyone can do, whether they believe in it or not. What happens at these marriages is extremely hurtful and offensive to those of us who believe in it, and no-one would think of doing anything comparable in a mosque, a synagogue or a Hindu or Sikh temple. I wish people who have chosen to turn away from the Catholic Church in every other respect would do us the courtesy of conducting their marriages elsewhere as well.


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    #77
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,399 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Michael G wrote: »
    With apologies to the Protestant and non-Christian and atheist posters here, we believe that the Eucharist is, really and physically, the body of Christ. To take the Eucharist is one of the most serious things anyone can do, whether they believe in it or not.
    Well, for an atheist, sharing the meat and drinking the blood of a human body in public is about as low as you can go.

    Why do you think that your belief should be respected above mine?


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    #78
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Michael G wrote: »
    With apologies to the Protestant and non-Christian and atheist posters here, we believe that the Eucharist is, really and physically, the body of Christ. To take the Eucharist is one of the most serious things anyone can do, whether they believe in it or not.

    You don't need to apologise at all, the Eucharist is of pivotal importance in nearly every church that I know of.


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    #79
    Bduffman
    Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭Bduffman


    Michael G wrote: »
    There are already far too many. The currency is devalued. What I really find painful – having had to attend several of them – is the fact that these church weddings happen during Mass and that people who are certainly not observant Catholics, and many others who are at best nominal Catholics, receive Holy Communion. With apologies to the Protestant and non-Christian and atheist posters here, we believe that the Eucharist is, really and physically, the body of Christ. To take the Eucharist is one of the most serious things anyone can do, whether they believe in it or not. What happens at these marriages is extremely hurtful and offensive to those of us who believe in it, and no-one would think of doing anything comparable in a mosque, a synagogue or a Hindu or Sikh temple. I wish people who have chosen to turn away from the Catholic Church in every other respect would do us the courtesy of conducting their marriages elsewhere as well.

    But surely thats up to the catholic church not individuals? For me, as an atheist, I have no problem going to a church (or synagogue or mosque for that matter) if I am invited to go to celebrate a wedding etc. My point is if the catholic church were serious then they would ban all non-catholics (& that includes those 'catholics' who don't believe that the eucharist is really is flesh - its amazing how many don't believe that). If they stuck to it I'd reckon you'd have less than 20% of the current (already low) attendance at mass. Bottom line - if everyone is allowed to marry in a catholic church then they will - but is the church brave enough to stand by their convictions for once?


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    #80
    Tim Robbins
    Registered Users Posts: 8,959 ✭✭✭Tim Robbins


    Michael G wrote: »
    With apologies to the Protestant and non-Christian and atheist posters here, we believe that the Eucharist is, really and physically, the body of Christ. To take the Eucharist is one of the most serious things anyone can do, whether they believe in it or not.
    When I have to go to Roman Catholic Church, I deliberately do not take Eucharist.


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    #81
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Bduffman wrote: »
    But surely thats up to the catholic church not individuals? For me, as an atheist, I have no problem going to a church (or synagogue or mosque for that matter) if I am invited to go to celebrate a wedding etc. My point is if the catholic church were serious then they would ban all non-catholics (& that includes those 'catholics' who don't believe that the eucharist is really is flesh - its amazing how many don't believe that). If they stuck to it I'd reckon you'd have less than 20% of the current (already low) attendance at mass. Bottom line - if everyone is allowed to marry in a catholic church then they will - but is the church brave enough to stand by their convictions for once?

    Hm mass attendance is over 40% at the minute which isn't so bad.
    Also banning non-Catholics would be bad business practice (although I'm speaking from a COI perspective). Christ encouraged us to welcome others, and who knows maybe after a Church service an agnostic / atheist might turn to Christianity so I don't think booting them out is a good idea.


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    #82
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Bduffman wrote: »
    But surely thats up to the catholic church not individuals? For me, as an atheist, I have no problem going to a church (or synagogue or mosque for that matter) if I am invited to go to celebrate a wedding etc. My point is if the catholic church were serious then they would ban all non-catholics (& that includes those 'catholics' who don't believe that the eucharist is really is flesh - its amazing how many don't believe that). If they stuck to it I'd reckon you'd have less than 20% of the current (already low) attendance at mass. Bottom line - if everyone is allowed to marry in a catholic church then they will - but is the church brave enough to stand by their convictions for once?
    The Catholic Church likes to think in numbers. It looks impressive if they can state that 1.2 Billion exist and that they are the largest "Christian" church on earth when infact only a fraction of that amount would be devout Cathiolics.

    They have a rubber stamp baptism system that stamps every kid born into a Catholic family without the childs opinion or concent. The result is that you have millions of these kids growing up who when they reach the age of reason (The correct age for baptism) they make their own minds up and become athiests or whatever but they still hold their "Catholic baptismal trump card" which they can use at weddings and funerals.


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    #83
    Michael G
    Registered Users Posts: 797 ✭✭✭Michael G


    Run_to_da_hills wrote: »
    The Catholic Church likes to think in numbers. It looks impressive if they can state that 1.2 Billion exist and that they are the largest "Christian" church on earth when infact only a fraction of that amount would be devout Cathiolics.
    The present Pope actually takes a different view. He has said that numbers don't matter much; it is the vitality of the Church that counts.

    But in any case what proportion of members of other Christian churches could be classified as "devout", even using the basic standard of acquiescing with the Apostles' Creed?


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    #84
    Run_to_da_hills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,009 ✭✭✭✭Run_to_da_hills


    Michael G wrote: »
    The present Pope actually takes a different view. He has said that numbers don't matter much; it is the vitality of the Church that counts.

    But in any case what proportion of members of other Christian churches could be classified as "devout", even using the basic standard of acquiescing with the Apostles' Creed?
    I would also say not many.


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    #85
    MargeS
    Registered Users Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭MargeS


    I think if you want to be in a club then you agree to abide by the rules and sign up. If you don't like the rules then leave...simple as! This applies to any religious organisation.

    You can't decide to obey/disobey the rules you like/don't like. RC church does not allow contraception, marriage without being open to have children, marriage without attending mass on a regular basis (i.e. practising catholics).
    If you don't abide by RC rules and just believe in Christ, that makes you a Christian - not an RC.


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    #86
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Maybe he thought it was a bad idea for you who said you were going to raise your kids Catholic to be marrying a woman who didn't want to have kids.

    I think your fiancee should just pretend to want kids. It's not like the church is a hotel or whatever


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    #87
    BrianCalgary
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭BrianCalgary


    Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »
    Maybe he thought it was a bad idea for you who said you were going to raise your kids Catholic to be marrying a woman who didn't want to have kids.

    I think your fiancee should just pretend to want kids. It's not like the church is a hotel or whatever

    Then you would be bearing false witness. I admire the couple for being upfront with the priest. Th enext step is to determine whether or not the RC church is really for them?


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    #88
    lostexpectation
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,082 ✭✭✭lostexpectation


    CTU_Agent i don't think anyone really believes your are committed catholic, you claim not to be having the wedding for appearances sake but it does seem like you having it in a church for social reasons rather then relgious ones.


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    #89
    twanda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 460 ✭✭twanda


    This thread has certainly given me food for thought. Am due to marry my bfriend in the next 2 years and before coming across this I figured the usual church wedding was a given...not so sure now, as we are non-practising and also use contraception. I don't particularly want the ceremony to be based on falsity ...So we will have to have a sit down and think about our options..

    OP - did you meet with the priest again? What was the outcome?


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    #90
    Cantab.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,444 ✭✭✭Cantab.


    twanda wrote: »
    I figured the usual church wedding was a given...


    ...we are non-practising and also use contraception...

    I seriously hope you are not intending getting married in a RC church with this hanging over you. If you're serious about the Catholic faith, you need to start making ammends.

    But if you're not, I don't see why or how the Church should facilitate you.


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    #91
    Fanny Cradock
    Registered Users Posts: 10,245 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    If you consider yourself a Christian, but don't wish to get hung up on the contraception thing, you might consider a different denomination or even a non-denominational Church.


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