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Man... bike... WTF?! [Merged]

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24

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    #32
    daniel3982
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭daniel3982


    JohnnyStones wrote: »
    I totally agree no more bad puns; it's a vicious cycle though!!

    Spoke too soon mate!


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    #33
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 23,994 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    He will be cured after a few sessions with a cycliatrist!


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    #34
    Schlemm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 799 ✭✭✭Schlemm


    Is it the same fella from this thread?http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055113514

    Bikes must be getting a lot of action these days.


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    #35
    daniel3982
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭daniel3982


    I just hope he was wearing protection






    and that he didnt burst the rubber


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    #36
    daniel3982
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭daniel3982


    Can someone embed this if it doesnt work..... It really needs to be done:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs1bpL21g3c


    http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zs1bpL21g3c


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    #37
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    daniel3982 wrote: »
    Can someone embed this if it doesnt work..... It really needs to be done:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs1bpL21g3c


    you take out the http://youtube.com/watch?v= bit, everything before the =
    Other than that, you had it.


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    #38
    Red Hand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    Wonder if he made it's bell ring?


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    #39
    JohnnyStones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭JohnnyStones


    Schlemm wrote: »
    Is it the same fella from this thread?http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055113514

    Bikes must be getting a lot of action these days.

    Yeah it looks like the same story:eek:

    or maybe he was caught again


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    #40
    tech77
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,736 ✭✭✭tech77


    TBH even though it's a ridiculous story the guy must still be some sort of cycle-path.


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    #41
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    Dirty peddlefile! Hangin's too good for 'em!


    :mad: Gah, that was my pun!


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    #42
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,059 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Move to cycling. :D


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    #43
    A racy brainrot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 204 ✭✭A racy brainrot


    AlmightyCushion wrote: »
    Move to cycling. :D

    :D


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    #44
    remus808
    Registered Users Posts: 1,380 ✭✭✭remus808


    What's next- bicycle pornography? Last thing we need is more dirty smut peddallers..


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    #45
    AlmightyCushion
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,059 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    karmabass wrote: »
    What's next- bicycle pornography? Last thing we need is more dirty smut peddallers..

    Or pedofiles.


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    #46
    gernon
    Registered Users Posts: 454 ✭✭gernon


    like Chuck Berry said he was just playin with his ding-a-ling-a-ling, anyway hope this doesn't lead to a 'chain' reaction.


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    #47
    Nephew
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,340 ✭✭✭Nephew


    All kidding aside, how the **** does this make him a sex offender. He was in his hotel room and the cleaners had to unlock the door to get it. A locked hotel door is usually a sign that the person doesn't want to be disturbed. I could see some logic behind it if he was doing it in the hotel lobby.


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    #48
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    How can it be quantified as sex when it's an object, not a living thing.


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    #49
    Krieg
    Registered Users Posts: 2,378 ✭✭✭Krieg


    The-Rigger wrote: »
    How can it be quantified as sex when it's an object, not a living thing.


    I believe necrophiliacs try that defence


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    #50
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    Asbad wrote: »
    I believe necrophiliacs try that defence

    You're dead right


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    #51
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Asbad wrote: »
    I believe necrophiliacs try that defence

    :rolleyes:

    With something that has never lived.


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    #52
    Thrill
    Registered Users Posts: 5,485 ✭✭✭Thrill


    What position was he using?

    Was he taking it from behind or sidesaddle?


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    #53
    Feral Mutant
    Registered Users Posts: 950 ✭✭✭Feral Mutant


    Ride me sideways :D


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    #54
    Cionnfhaolaidh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 141 ✭✭Cionnfhaolaidh


    This guy was using an inanimate object for sexual pleasure in the privacy of his own hotel room. Why was he put on the Sex Offenders' Register? That's fcking ridiculous if you ask me.

    What if he was "caught" in bed shoving a dildo in the shape of a bicycle saddle up his ass? Sex offender?

    Let's change the scenario. A woman "caught" shoving a bicycle saddle-shaped dildo up her gee. What Is the Difference? Put her on the SOR shall we?

    I don't condone shoving a bike saddle up one's hole, but this guy wasn't harming anyone, and certainly shouldn't have been put on the SOR.

    A ridiculous reaction to a ridiculous story.


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    #55
    Big Ears
    Registered Users Posts: 8,967 ✭✭✭Big Ears


    SumGuy wrote: »
    You're dead right


    :D that's the only good one yet .


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    #56
    TheThing!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 287 ✭✭TheThing!


    Jesus H Christ! That bike rapist story is so messed up. There are no morals left in this world. In my day a man knew how to treat a bike right, and they took their time to go out and find the right one before settling down with it. Only then would there be any hanky panky. I hope to find a good bike some day, one that I can maybe make my wife, but until then, there will be no evil acts going on


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    #57
    Sinfonia
    Registered Users Posts: 3,854 ✭✭✭Sinfonia


    TheThing! wrote: »
    Jesus H Christ! That bike rapist story is so messed up. There are no morals left in this world. In my day a man knew how to treat a bike right, and they took there time to go out and find the right one before settling down with it. Only then would there be any hanky panky. I hope to find a good bike some day, one that I can maybe make my wife, but until then, there will be no evil acts going on

    Don't worry, I'm sure your wife will be a bike :p


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    #58
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    TheThing! wrote: »
    Jesus H Christ! That bike rapist story is so messed up. There are no morals left in this world. In my day a man knew how to treat a bike right, and they took their time to go out and find the right one before settling down with it. Only then would there be any hanky panky. I hope to find a good bike some day, one that I can maybe make my wife, but until then, there will be no evil acts going on

    I think you are the first person to use the word 'rape' about the incident?


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    #59
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Now, I'm not saying I'd be into rattling my pushbike. BUT, what law was he breaking?

    ....................

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

    Bike sex man placed on probation

    Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike
    A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
    Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

    Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

    Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

    Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

    "They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

    "The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

    Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

    Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

    Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

    The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

    He now lives in Ayr.


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    #60
    Sizzler
    Registered Users Posts: 5,430 ✭✭✭Sizzler


    Gives a whole new meaning to the term SADDLE UP :D


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    #61
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,755 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    The guy was having a w@nk in the privacy of his bedroom. No harm done.

    tallaght01 - You really have an obsession with this malarky at the moment. How's your todger? :D


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