Maths jokes!

LeixlipRed

But the original joke says, infinite amount of money, 1/n as n goes to infinity diverges. 1/(n^2) doesn't, it converges. I don't see why the original joke isn't funny...

LeixlipRed

You're getting confused with the series 1/2^n.

Colours

Capt'n Midnight

One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

44leto

The barman said I am sorry we don't serve neutrinos

A neutrino walks into the bar.

BlueBaron

there was a explosion at the pie factory.

3.14159265 found dead.

Capt'n Midnight

My local pie shop is doing a special 3.1 for 2

Turtwig

Stolen from YLYL2:pac:

reap-a-rat

Learning the Fibonacci Series is as easy as 1 1 2 3!

Capt'n Midnight

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

ciano6

ciano6 wrote: »

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.

Why are jokes in Z_8 not funny?

Because 7 0 1.

im invisible

there are 10 types of people in the world...

those that understand trinary,

those that dont,

and those that confuse it with binary

Capt'n Midnight

I prefer the term ternary.

The Russians actually build such a computer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Setun

bnt

(from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

steddyeddy

I failed so many maths tests that I cant even count.

Capt'n Midnight

(sqrt(cos(x))*cos(400*x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.4)-(4-x*x)^0.1

Richard Cranium

Let ε < 0.

Captain Graphite

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Let ε < 0.

World's shortest maths joke!

Reillyman

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Let ε < 0.

Hahaha I just imagined myself trying to explain that joke to someone that doesn't study maths, it would be impossible!

Richard Cranium

What do mermaid maths teachers wear?

Algebras.

Capt'n Midnight

"This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left."





If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton

In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson

Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
-- Gauss

Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes.
-- Richard Hamming

It has been said that physicists stand on one another's shoulders. If this is the case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and software engineers dig each other's graves.
-- Unknown

Capt'n Midnight

bnt

According to some news reports, a teacher in the USA was fired after he gave his students some Maths problems that he had downloaded from a home schooling website. The plagiarism wasn't the why he was fired: no, he was fired after some of the parents saw the questions. Sample:

John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?

The owner of the site has since taken the problems down and posted an apology/explanation/not-my-fault message, but one sheet can still be downloaded (PDF) that includes this:

Brian loves deformed chickens. Last weekend he bought 770 mutant chickens from a mad scientist. When he brought them home, he noticed that he had twice as many hairy chickens as bald chickens, and twice as many wooly chickens as hairy chickens. How many more wooly chickens than bald chickens did he have?

Maybe the parents were appalled, but kids these days might actually be in to that sort of thing ... :pac:

Turtwig

bnt

krafty

TheAlmightyZeus wrote: »

I don't get it. How come 8 can see him but neither 2 nor 3 can? Am I missing something? How sleep-deprived can I be?

Turtwig

krafty wrote: »

I don't get it. How come 8 can see him but neither 2 nor 3 can? Am I missing something? How sleep-deprived can I be?

"i" is imaginary so it can't be sleep deprived.

krafty

Jernal wrote: »

"i" is imaginary so it can't be sleep deprived.

hah

Seriously though, what's so special about 8?

Capt'n Midnight

krafty wrote: »

hah

Seriously though, what's so special about 8?

It's not 8 it's nought

wearing a belt

krafty

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

It's not 8 it's nought

wearing a belt

Ah now I get it - thanks.