Self Service Checkouts.

_blank_

My jaysis.

How can people not know how to use these wonderful inventions. Gah. You've been watching the cashiers working these machines for years. It's not some magical machine that has suddenly landed.

But, sure, if you don't know how to use it, then don't pick the busiest fúcking evening in the damn shop to try to figure it out.

Also, people who stare in wonderment as the machine beeps, as the list of their shopping appears on the screen.

Scan item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'
Scan next item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'.

FFS get on with it.

And why the fúck do tesco make you scan each can of a six pack individually? It makes things slower, not faster. It's INconvenient.

And the idiots who come up to them with a full trolly of stuff?

Get to a fúcking normal queue, these are for small amount of items.

whiskeyman

Not everyone had a Barcode Battler when younger you know...

_feedback_

Yeah don't get that with the six pack thing, they should get it sorted.

seansouth wrote:

And the idiots who come up to them with a full trolly of stuff?

Get to a fúcking normal queue, these are for small amount of items.

They're not just for a small amount of items all the time, at least in my local tesco anyway. There are two designed for small amount and two for trollies.

The people that start scanning their items as I'm still taking mine really need to fúck off though.

Duggy747

I share your pain, brother! Every single day when I pop into Tesco after work it's always the fúckin' grannies or middle-aged women who have no idea how to operate something as technically advanced as a self-service counter.

That being said, though, those tills are shítty. Example:

*beep*
"Please place item on the belt"
Puts item on belt
"Unknown item, ple................."
Till recongises product and you continue on
*beep*
"Please wait for assistance"
You take out your gun and shoot the screen

Slow Motion

seansouth wrote:

My jaysis.

How can people not know how to use these wonderful inventions. Gah. You've been watching the cashiers working these machines for years. It's not some magical machine that has suddenly landed.

But, sure, if you don't know how to use it, then don't pick the busiest fúcking evening in the damn shop to try to figure it out.

Also, people who stare in wonderment as the machine beeps, as the list of their shopping appears on the screen.

Scan item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'
Scan next item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'.

FFS get on with it.

And why the fúck do tesco make you scan each can of a six pack individually? It makes things slower, not faster. It's INconvenient.

And the idiots who come up to them with a full trolly of stuff?

Get to a fúcking normal queue, these are for small amount of items.

Was in Tescos two weeks ago to get about three items, used one of these and the thing just refused to work properly, had to get one of the cashiers, who then spent ten minutes looking for her supervisor because she didn't know what to do, then spent five minutes talking to the supervisor, came back, another five minutes fluting around with the machine and still couldn't work it, off again to get the supervisor to come back and sort the damn thing out ! Self service my ar$e it was like a bad dream that I couldn't wake myself up from ! :mad:

Red Hand

I live near a 24 hour Tesco, so I always do my shopping late at night before bed. Wouldn't be caught in there otherwise.

Ruu_Old

Don't know about Tesco but they are for 20 items or less in most of the shops I go into in the US but you still see people with trolly fulls of stuff going up to them. There would be about 6 self service checkouts and one person over them all checking if there were any problems (more often than not there would be).
When I was leaving Ireland in 05, they had 2 self checkouts in the Navan Tesco.

Nevyn

What is with the back up times for them as well ?

I mean really it's a 24 tesco fair enough but you will always get people nipping out to get a few things arroung 11:30 and hoping to be back home before midnight and that is when they back up the self service tils and have sod all staff on, tis worse at the weekends when you get people rushing in to get drink before the time is up.

Guy:Incognito

seansouth wrote:

My jaysis.

How can people not know how to use these wonderful inventions. Gah. You've been watching the cashiers working these machines for years. It's not some magical machine that has suddenly landed.

But, sure, if you don't know how to use it, then don't pick the busiest fúcking evening in the damn shop to try to figure it out.

Also, people who stare in wonderment as the machine beeps, as the list of their shopping appears on the screen.

Scan item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'
Scan next item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'.

FFS get on with it.

And why the fúck do tesco make you scan each can of a six pack individually? It makes things slower, not faster. It's INconvenient.

And the idiots who come up to them with a full trolly of stuff?

Get to a fúcking normal queue, these are for small amount of items.

Shouldnt you be thinking about tactics? Its a match day afterall. Oh and get you avatar back off slow motion, I dont realise it's you posting till I double check. It's like your a noob.:)

As to the topic in hand , women and ATM's come to mind. I was behind a woman in a spar in cabra today(you know who you are) who took about 10 mins to get money out, then proceeded to arrange the contents of her bag so it was to her satisfaction, while still standing at the machine.:mad:

seamus

The people who use them in Tesco seem to be infinitely more inept than those who use them in Superquinn. The line seems to move a fraction of the speed in Tesco, whereas in Superquinn it moves along at a decent pace. This is true all over the city.

Though that may be because the guy monitoring the tills in Superquinn is actually looking at the screen and clearing the errors, whereas the guy in Tesco is halfway down the checkouts chatting up one of the girls and picking his arse at the same time.

The technical reasoning behind the sixpack is sound, but it's logistically incovenient. As most people have copped, the baggage area measures the weight of each item as you put it through. This is to stop people from pretending to scan stuff, or scanning a cheaper barcode (say scanning the barcode from a 500ml coke when buying a 2l bottle). You're not allowed to scan another item until you place the last scanned item down - so it can count all of the weight. So to scan a sixpack of cans, you need to take each can individually out of the rings, and scan it. Ugh. I don't know why there's not a "scan multiple" button. Perhaps its to avoid idiots pressing it by accident.
The system knows how much one can of beer weighs. So if I press a button that says "How many do you want to scan?" and I press "6", then it would also know to expect the weight times 6.

This functionality exists in the software on the tills, but its locked out by default. I still have no idea why.

Wertz

elviscostello wrote:

The people that start scanning their items as I'm still taking mine really need to fúck off though.

Seriously.

Anyone noticed the phenomenon, when it's quiet, where there'll be a queue for the self service and a few cashiers doing f*ck all? Very handy...

MooseJam

self service is a license to steal, scan every second item

seamus

MooseJam wrote:

self service is a license to steal, scan every second item

As I pointed out, you can't really. Unless you want to put half of your stuff on the floor, in which case you may as well tattoo "Shoplifter" across your forehead.

scojones

It's been a while since I was in Tesco's. I can't ever remember seeing the self service checkouts. Is this a Tesco's only thing or do they have them in Dunnes too?


I have been asked to move this thread but I won't. It's just a rant about how idiotic self service checkouts are, and I like rants.

MooseJam

It's pretty low imo, the whole self service idea, next thing you know we will have to restock the shelves of any items we take, maybe give the floor a bit of a sweep on the way out too

little miss

I hate them. Good idea, but don't work in reality. Some items just won't scan! Drives me mad. Oh, and guaranteed, when you're buying something you don't want people to draw attention to, things are bound to go wrong. I was buying a pregnancy test a few months ago. There were people I knew in the shop so decided to go to the self service thing so I could get out asap. Of course, the bloody thing wouldn't scan and someone came up to help me, then started waving the test around asking 'does anyone know the code for this pregnancy test'. Mortifying.

Collie D

little miss wrote:

I was buying a pregnancy test a few months ago. There were people I knew in the shop so decided to go to the self service thing so I could get out asap. Of course, the bloody thing wouldn't scan and someone came up to help me, then started waving the test around asking 'does anyone know the code for this pregnancy test'. Mortifying.

LOL, hate that.

"Price check for Vagiclean please!"

scojones

Collie D wrote:

LOL, hate that.

"Price check for Vagiclean please!"

Do you buy that often Collie D? Hehe. :eek:

Collie D

scojones wrote:

Do you buy that often Collie D? Hehe. :eek:

Eh, quickly back on topic....

Gotta love the self-service thingies although you definitely have to choose your lane wisley. Old people or women over thirty can't sem to fathom them at all.

gurramok

And you need someone to authorize you when you buy alcohol.(tesco)

You could end up standing there ages for a cashier to come, frustrating...hence i always use a human instead of machine to buy alcohol

Self service is not the future of it, it always goes bloody wrong nearly everytime i'm in the queue.

Its quicker doing it the old way and going to the human cashier, at least laser payments are easier that way.

Blush_01

I love them. Some day I'm going to figure out how to mate self-service checkouts and Grey's Anatomy and marry the result.

GreeBo

for the love of GOD why doesnt everyone use Superscan?

Red Alert

Exactly - it's even faster on 1-2 items.

Compare the two - the self service checkout (Fastlane in Superquinn lingo) benefits the store really, the other benefits both the store and you.

Is the six pack barcode not a different 'item' anyway to the six cans' individual barcode?

Stark

The system definitely works a whole lot better in Superquinn. They're always a pleasure to use there. I don't bother with them anymore in Tesco. If they're not out of service, there'll be a queue of muppets at them. Also if you want to pay by laser/credit card, then it's lucky draw as to whether you have to wait for someone to come over and get you to sign a receipt or not.

seamus

Red Alert wrote:

Is the six pack barcode not a different 'item' anyway to the six cans' individual barcode?

Generally not. It's priced as six individual items. When you buy it in a box, the box has a barcode and you can just scan that.

David Michael

seamus wrote:

Generally not. It's priced as six individual items. When you buy it in a box, the box has a barcode and you can just scan that.

They work by weight people.....

Schlemm

I was in Tesco in Nutgrove the other day and it was like queueing in the 7th circle of hell.
Having negotiated my way through the knickers, videos and massacred yoghurt aisle to pay for my purchases, I discover that not only does everyone decide to block the aisle while we wait for the self service, but the machines appear to be going a bit haywire, proclaiming that there is an unidentified item on the belt every 2 seconds.
Now this was bad enough...but imagine having to work next to that:eek: .

Makes me wonder what their breakdown assistance with their car insurance is like...

pickarooney

David Michael wrote:

They work by weight people.....

Couldn't you buy one cheap can of beer and scan it ten times while you place your expensive bourgeois lager on the scales?

Agent Smith

seansouth wrote:

My jaysis.



FFS get on with it.

And why the fúck do tesco make you scan each can of a six pack individually? It makes things slower, not faster. It's INconvenient.

Happened to me yesterday, and had to wait 5 minutes for "approvel" that i could buy 6 cans of Heikengen.

Peared

Long time lurker etc.. Felt compelled to post after spending 5 minutes today watching a woman "scanning" a tomato and refusing to admit defeat until it was taken from her by force by the man waiting behind her, who no doubt pointed out the absence of barcode on said fruit.

Thrill

Peared wrote:

Long time lurker etc.. Felt compelled to post after spending 5 minutes today watching a woman "scanning" a tomato and refusing to admit defeat until it was taken from her by force by the man waiting behind her, who no doubt pointed out the absence of barcode on said fruit.

:D

Great first post.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Brian Capture

Tesco is so cool.

blow69

agent smith wrote:

Happened to me yesterday, and had to wait 5 minutes for "approvel" that i could buy 6 cans of Heikengen.

Yeah but you can still carry on scanning items when it says 'approval needed'.Well in the tesco near me anyways.

stovelid

There also seems to be no way of buying a plastic bag from them or have i just missed it?

(disclaimer: quite drunk the last time I used one)

copacetic

stovelid wrote:

There also seems to be no way of buying a plastic bag from them or have i just missed it?

(disclaimer: quite drunk the last time I used one)

just scan the barcode on the bag??

Stark

You have to ask one of the attendants standing around for a plastic bag.

I usually just take one myself from under the counter near the tills when that person's gone awol

copacetic

agent smith wrote:

Happened to me yesterday, and had to wait 5 minutes for "approvel" that i could buy 6 cans of Heikengen.

am i nuts or are all you guys scanning the individual cans rather than the barcode on the bottom of the pack?
i mostly buy 24 packs but am pretty sure i bought a 6 pack once with no issues? now i am worried i may have accidently stole it!

Shadowless

Absolute Nightmare! Last time I was in Tesco decided to use one of these. Big Mistake. Guy in front of me just had to pay. Cushty I thought. I'll be outta here in no time. Anyway he proceded to reach into his rucksack and pull out a big glass jar. Paid his 20 odd quid in 10 cent coins! :eek:
Was there for feckin ages! Bloody Foreigners...

Stark

I sometimes feel tempted to get rid of all my coppers as they're the few machines around that'll accept 1s and 2s. Unfortunately you get that "Please insert blah blah blah" automated voice after every one!

Snake Plisken

elviscostello wrote:

The people that start scanning their items as I'm still taking mine really need to fúck off though.

Had this issue on the self service for full trollies in Tesco's What I used to do was pack my bags before paying, thus making the scanger behind me wait.

Then they fitted these black barrier things which are great you can push all your stuff to the end and put the black barrier across the till, thus stopping the scanger's stuff getting mixed up with yours.

The scan one at a time is a pain, you should be able to scan an item and put in the qty you have in your trolley, I suppose you could abuse the system then.

Snake

workaccount

seansouth wrote:

My jaysis.

How can people not know how to use these wonderful inventions. Gah. You've been watching the cashiers working these machines for years. It's not some magical machine that has suddenly landed.

But, sure, if you don't know how to use it, then don't pick the busiest fúcking evening in the damn shop to try to figure it out.

Also, people who stare in wonderment as the machine beeps, as the list of their shopping appears on the screen.

Scan item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'
Scan next item
*beep*
The mouthbreather then looks and points at the screen 'Wow, that's the thing I just scanned'.

FFS get on with it.

And why the fúck do tesco make you scan each can of a six pack individually? It makes things slower, not faster. It's INconvenient.

And the idiots who come up to them with a full trolly of stuff?

Get to a fúcking normal queue, these are for small amount of items.

For a second there while reading your post I thought I was watching an episode of strutter!

Anyway, some people look at the screen to check the price of everything as the prices can sometimes be wrong.

workaccount

Slow Motion wrote:

Was in Tescos two weeks ago to get about three items, used one of these and the thing just refused to work properly, had to get one of the cashiers, who then spent ten minutes looking for her supervisor because she didn't know what to do, then spent five minutes talking to the supervisor, came back, another five minutes fluting around with the machine and still couldn't work it, off again to get the supervisor to come back and sort the damn thing out ! Self service my ar$e it was like a bad dream that I couldn't wake myself up from ! :mad:

Please don't make such stupid statements. Do you really expect the tesco staff to be IT engineers??? All technology goes up and down. Why didn't you just go to a cashier instead of hanging around like a *****ing eejit waiting for tesco staff to get their IT degrees.

mcauley

hilarious thread. Pople get SO wound up by this sort of thing. Its great to watch....NOT great to experience. Anytime I have EVER used the self-service, there is a problem......"Unexpected Item on the Belt...." What do you mean "unexpected"??? I'm paying for my shopping, does it come as a surprise that I might put items on the bloody belt?! I just want to scream at the thing SHUT THE F**K UP AND JUST CONTINUE!!

mental07

It's not just the self-service tills that are infuriating, I used to work in a (non Tesco) supermarket, and there were always scanning problems. Mostly which arose from the people supposed to be ensuring that every item is in the system and therefore scanning being hopelessly incompetent. It was always us poor checkout staff who got the blame when things wouldn't scan, of course. When something didn't scan, this is generally what happened: I'd call my supervisor, who would say she was too busy to help, so I'd get up and march into the office, which would be empty. I'd then have to frantically run around the shop floor looking for the appropriate person, who would grumble, and spend about 5 minutes entering the item into the system. Then I'd run back to my till, where the customer would have gone a deep shade of purple at this stage, finally I'd apologise and finish the transaction.

I'm so glad all that sh*t is behind me.

stovelid

copacetic wrote:

just scan the barcode on the bag??

Meant getting one from the area around the self-service. Never see any.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

in tesco in drumcondra yesterday at arounf 6. as you can amagine it was pretty full. I was walking in the door, i seen two old women with a nearly full trolly. For every item that was scanned, it was slowly picked out of the trolly, nearly 5 seconds of looking to find the bar code, eventualy it was scanned, then another 5 seconds wondering where to put it, as the bagging area was nearly full. They were scanning when i walked in, i got my items, qued, and payed for them. they were still scanning when i was leaving the shop!!!!

Slow Motion

workaccount wrote:

Please don't make such stupid statements. Do you really expect the tesco staff to be IT engineers??? All technology goes up and down. Why didn't you just go to a cashier instead of hanging around like a *****ing eejit waiting for tesco staff to get their IT degrees.

Stupid statment ? I'm sorry I expected the staff to be able to do their job ! My mistake :rolleyes:

I have a background in IT and know it's vagaries quite well and if you are going to have staff using it they should have some basic training before they are allowed to use it ! I was the customer and I was kept waiting for an unacceptably long time and therefore I am completely within my rights not to be happy about it ! So get down off that high horse and stop with the personal attack I don't appreciate being called Stupid or a fcuking eejit :mad:

seamus

They should have a dummy demonstration till at the back. If you take more than five seconds to scan an ordinary, working item and put it on the shelf, then you should be removed, and forced to queue with all the other idiots and be shown how to do it.

skywalker

mcauley wrote:

hilarious thread. Pople get SO wound up by this sort of thing. Its great to watch....NOT great to experience. Anytime I have EVER used the self-service, there is a problem......"Unexpected Item on the Belt...." What do you mean "unexpected"??? I'm paying for my shopping, does it come as a surprise that I might put items on the bloody belt?! I just want to scream at the thing SHUT THE F**K UP AND JUST CONTINUE!!

talkingclock

I'm always getting nervous if i see some EEs on the machines. more then one time they were challenged by the on-screen message "Please remove your items" after paying. They were helpless, clueless and were waiting for assistance... Or if it comes to buying loose products, they need to select the veg by name from the list...