If Ireland went to war...

Tabnabs

... in an attempt to conquer new territory to feed the endless demand for foreign property (hey, look at all the stamp duty the government is missing out on),

where should we invade and why?

Kingsize

Charles Haughey's Privately owned island in the Blaskets??(i think)

Gurgle

Dyflin wrote:

where should we invade and why?

Brazil, obviously.

Norway.

The bastards.

eirmail

Deleted User wrote:

Norway.

The bastards.

I say Greenland , I am thinking long term and I am betting on global warmimg

RE*AC*TOR

with Irelands relatively non-existant Navy and Air Force, only a land campaign would be remotely possible, so I'd say Northern Ireland. The Brits could get overstretched in the middle east - so who knows.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

TerrorFirmer

Well lets see....where could the Irish army attack and actually win....maybe a handful of small pacific islands? Oh, and Andorra.

And the Vatican I suppose. then maybe move onto San Marino.

RE*AC*TOR

RE*AC*TOR wrote:

with Irelands relatively non-existant Navy and Air Force, only a land campaign would be remotely possible, so I'd say Northern Ireland. The Brits could get overstretched in the middle east - so who knows.

Now that would be funny to see.

Agamemnon

Sweden - kill the men and bring the women back here for breeding purposes.
Invade England as well - see how they like it.

eirmail

The Scientist wrote:

Turkmenistan. why not?

It is ruled by a crazy nutter and they export gas to china.
They are also landlocked.

Why in hell would we invade turkmenistan?

Kingsize

Hows about we invade Greece by hiding in a Giant wooden horse - That's what they'd least expect, its beautiful!!

DMC

Switzerland. Like us, they never pick on anyone else, so there's enough reason to invade.

Kingsize

eirmail wrote:

.

Why in hell would we invade turkmenistan?

Because its There! goddammit!

On mature reflection i'd say The Vatican would be easy even for our understaffed & overweight defence forces-its just loads of really old priests & a few boys with axes & stripey baggy pants.

magick

the Vatican

think of it all the grannies would get a free pass to mass with the pope!

Tazz T

We might be able to take the Isle of Man.

Failing that... Tory Island?

connundrum

HavoK wrote:

And the Vatican I suppose.

Have you not read Angels and Demons??? They have more security than the average cat

I'd say the Isle of Mann, it'll bring us near enough to the UK so that we can throw stones at them if we want. Oh and the whole no speed limits thing would attract me too

In search of land.. we should go to Namibia, they're faily used to being invaded and there's a bit o land to go round. Nice coastline, Windhoek Beer rocks, and they have Guinness and Kilkenny - wohoo!

Kingsize

agamemnon wrote:

Invade England as well - see how they like it.

Yeah & then Give it to France once weve taken what we want .

phantom_lord

The North...

Kingsize

Tazz T wrote:

We might be able to take the Isle of Man.

Jeremy Clarkson has a holiday home there,even if we could, its probably best left well alone...

eirmail

Kingsize wrote:

Jeremy Clarkson has a holiday home there,even if we could, its probably best left well alone...

We could invade the channel islands , taxes are low there and they are used to been invaded. So manybe they mighn't mind too much

Archeron

The Ivory coast. Flag mirror image stealing biatches that they are. And when we've rescused our flags reflection, we then have a good staging post to invade Burkina Faso to the North. I just really want to go to Oogadougoo and laugh at the sign posts!

Binomate

The USA. It would be like an ant throwing a pea at an elephant, but fun to watch all the same.

mountainyman

Deleted User wrote:

Norway.

The bastards.

We would need to arm to the teeth but Norway is a good call.
They have alot of oil (we'd steal it) and culchies would be getting revenge for the founding of dublin.

MM

bluto63

Tunisia.

For no reason.

delop

Hang on now, Why dont we invade ireland, then we can implement my socalist policies, nationalise eircom, tesco , dunnes, fix the public transport, lower the price of the pint, look after our old people, Educate our prisoners, and give them better facilities, so when they do get out they wil be nice :-) Invest billions in the education system from primary up...

oh sorry hang on, have we not invaded most countries allready by immigration in the past and now by property investment...

5starpool

The Galapagos. Even the Irish defence forces could beat a few turtles. Maybe we could take Easter Island while we are at it, and draw funny moustaches etc on the statues.

Also, we could take the Falklands, pretending to be Argies while we are doing it and get them in trouble with the brits.

kittenkiller

I'd say either Scotland or Wales.

The cultures'd fuse together beautifully and with Global Warming as it is, our climates are rapidly merging and Jasus we'd have mighty craic!
We might even be able to join forces against the English!!

county

DMC wrote:

Switzerland. Like us, they never pick on anyone else, so there's enough reason to invade.

they just took ALL the jews money and gold though

Kenya. They've lions and tigers you know.

Splinter

ibiza..and kick the brits out of it...

Steyr

Disgraceful posting here about the DF, If anybody cared to notice the DF is a Peace Enforcing Military much like Sweden,Switzerland etc, Shame on you for slagging off the DF, alot of people here dont even know what it is that they do and what they stand for and about the people in it who paid with their life in the cause of freedom, so others may live. Shame on you all.

delop

Steyr wrote:

Disgraceful posting here about the DF, If anybody cared to notice the DF is a Peace Enforcing Military much like Sweden,Switzerland etc, Shame on you for slagging off the DF, alot of people here dont even know what it is that they do and what they stand for and about the people in it who paid with their life in the cause of freedom, so others may live. Shame on you all.

Very true, aparently they have the best bomb disposal section or any army in the world...

I wonder how they got that practice...

Steyr

Also the second best Special Forces Unit in the world the Army Ranger Wing ( ARW ) Second only to the German GSG9 and in third place the UK SAS. Fact.

andrew

How about china? I just think it'd be hilarious to see peoples faces as the Irish navy sails up the yangtze, the ultimate WTF?? moment.

Steyr

andrew wrote:

How about china? I just think it'd be hilarious to see peoples faces as the Irish navy sails up the yangtze, the ultimate WTF?? moment.

Another Joe Soap with tons of imagination...........But no brain.

r3nu4l

Steyr wrote:

Disgraceful posting here about the DF, If anybody cared to notice the DF is a Peace Enforcing Military much like Sweden,Switzerland etc, Shame on you for slagging off the DF, alot of people here dont even know what it is that they do and what they stand for and about the people in it who paid with their life in the cause of freedom, so others may live. Shame on you all.

Hey Steyr, relax will ya, it's all in good fun etc. I'm enjoying this thread and I've had a very close friend (PDF) killed in action. You'll get used to the (dark and light) boards.ie sense of humor as time goes by.

I take it that because you chose your username after the DF's weapon of choice that you have some connection to the DF's either PDF or RDF? Try the Military forum if you want serious discussion on the Irish Defence Forces.

On Topic: My choice for invasion is North Korea, then we could sneak in before the US and grab a few nukes for ourselves. We'd make a packet selling those on ebay

Steyr

Im here for a laugh but you go too far alot of people died in the cause of freedom overseas and at home.

scojones

The Aran Islands.

humanji

delop wrote:

oh sorry hang on, have we not invaded most countries allready by immigration in the past and now by property investment...

They're sleeper agents, spread out across the globe. Once we choose a country to invade, these agents will easily infiltrate their people and attack from the inside. It's perfect as long as no one asks to see their Visas!

r3nu4l

After edit:

Steyr wrote:

Im here for a laugh but you go too far alot of people died in the cause of freedom overseas and at home.

Before edit:

Steyr wrote:

PDF im here for a laugh but then again if i really wanna laugh at you well you are giving me 452.82 a week..

Hmmm! Apart from thinking that 452.82 a week is a pittance, I think you'll find that I don't pay you anything as I live and work in the UK I instead contribute my taxes to undereducated British lads getting killed in Iraq and Afghanistan for a pittance salary Poor b*stards!

Yeah loads of people died for freedom blah blah blah, drivel and whatnot but at the end of the day people still tell WWII jokes, they still joke about suicide bombers and all things tragic. Grow up a bit, it's not all serious and doom and gloom, it's supposed to be fun

On topic again: I still think N Kora is a good bet, with those nukes we could further our quest and invade China. Imagine how many houses you could build with the stone from the Great Wall

Steyr

sjones wrote:

The Aran Islands.

Invade something thats ours already? Can ya hear me all the way back there? In the stone age...

The Hill Billy

[Off Topic]

Steyr wrote:

Im here for a laugh

Really?

Steyr wrote:

but you go too far alot of people died in the cause of freedom overseas and at home.

Indeed they did & this thread in no way disrespects any of them. As a matter of fact this thread has absolutely nothing to do with deceased freedom fighters. Seriously off topic - you could find yourself in the cooler with only a baseball for company.

[/Off Topic]


I say we go for Cuba - loads of rum, great cigars, hot chicks.
The Yanks will surely support our invasion - maybe even let us use their airports?

Steyr

Ok fine fair enough, How about Jamaica?

The Hill Billy

Steyr wrote:

Ok fine fair enough, How about Jamaica?

That's the spirit! Well done.

r3nu4l

Now what could we possibly get in Jamaica?

Ruu_Old

Japan of course as Grandpa Burns said: "The Japanese!? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? Bosh! Flimshaw!". Nuff said.

Steyr

Sexy black ladies and they have no Air Force so we can send over the PC9M's and wahey! we have Air Superiority, and they have no Navy so we send over Our Navy and what do ya know we have just blocked off their trade routes we have the cnuts by the balls.

Fence

New Zealand. Then we could have summer all year round.

Ruu_Old

Fence wrote:

New Zealand. Then we could have summer all year round.

Ah very good then we could discuss, fush and chups.;)

sjones

sjones wrote:

The Aran Islands.

Screw that. Lets invade Carlow.