Worst bestselling author ever...

Black hole sun

Black hole sun wrote:

True, everything from ten years ago on are ****.

Wondered that too. Then thought maybe I just got older and grew out of it all about 15 years back.

The Tommyknockers was unintentionally hilarious. Green space men in a hole in the woods?

eth0_

Cecilia Ahern. Why do people read her utter drivel? I wonder what her key demographic is like. Overweight mid-30's woman with crappy job who hasn't had a man in years?

Black hole sun

John2 wrote:

I thought the Dark Tower was excellent right up to the end.

I found the last 3 of the dark tower series to be dire. Its always bad when an author put himself in a book as character, tis a bit self indulgent.

meldrew

I thought John Connolly's Bad Men was one of the worst books I ever read , but Black Angel was a whole lot better

Toasty

shroomfox wrote:

Dan Brown - is there any contest?

Well...yes, probably. But in my mind I actually have Dan Brown filed under "Dan Brown: Worst Bestselling Author Ever." So I was quite surprised when I saw the thread title.

WHAT?????????????
HIS BOOKS ARE THE BEST READS I'VE EVER READ!!!!!!!!!

shroomfox

Aaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!
All Manner Of Shock And Horror In Your Direction!!!!!!

?

<edit>
OK, I've just tried to type that above message in all caps three times and every time I do, it reverts to lower case letters as soon as I save it. So, toasty, I have to hand it to you: you're obviously some kind of hacker or something. I have no idea how you managed to type in all caps.

Unshelved

Wilbur Smith - sexist racist repetitive tripe. Don't bother.

beans

Toasty wrote:

WHAT?????????????
HIS BOOKS ARE THE BEST READS I'VE EVER READ!!!!!!!!!

Just goes to show how he managed to sell the way he did - he can write a story that pretty much anyone can follow, in nice ADHD-sized chapters, with a plot that's guaranteed to twist and turn, and make readers go 'Oooh'

For my money, it's catchy, hummable fodder. All his books are utterly derivative and disposable, with about as much depth and substance as a wet patch on your duvet. Of course that's just my opinion, whatever does it for you

I'm sure Dan Brown is not the ultimate worst bestseller of all time, but he's pretty close.

theCzar

At the risk further labouring the Danny Brown point, this thread is about the worst but bestselling author, so even if DB isn't the very worst author (if not, who is, I have to ask), he's sold by far and a way the most books so i'm thinking we need a formula like:

[crapness factor, 1-100, 1 being the least worst]*[books sold] = [crapness quota (C.Q.)]

so for DB we have a crapness factor of 2 (gotta leave room for a deterioration in his standards ) times a squillion for all the books sold to commuters for a C.Q. of 2 squillion. simple n'est pas?

Mr. Presentable

John2 wrote:

I thought the Dark Tower was excellent right up to the end. The one he did with Peter Straub a few years ago was really good too.

Talisman!! Straub did some great work on his own also.

John

No, not Talisman, the second one. Hang on *musters up energy to go into other room to check bookcase as he meant to the other day* Black House, that's the one. Talisman was great too though. Hmmm, maybe I'll recycle them into the Pile What Needs To Be Read.

Toasty

shroomfox wrote:

Aaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!
All Manner Of Shock And Horror In Your Direction!!!!!!

?

<edit>
OK, I've just tried to type that above message in all caps three times and every time I do, it reverts to lower case letters as soon as I save it. So, toasty, I have to hand it to you: you're obviously some kind of hacker or something. I have no idea how you managed to type in all caps.

all i did was push caps lock and typed!!
you obviously have 2 have the secret touch!!

hepcat

Dean Koontz has to be up there among the worst. Read one of his that was knocking around the house and could not believe how pathetic is was. Still read it though:o

meldrew

hepcat wrote:

Dean Koontz has to be up there among the worst. Read one of his that was knocking around the house and could not believe how pathetic is was. Still read it though:o

Totally agree , I keep getting his latest hoping it will be better than the last and am always disappointed

28064212

Surprised at the amount of votes Stephen King has gotten, haven't read a poor book by him yet. The Stand, IT, Insomnia, The Green Mile, The Dead Zone, Salem's Lot, The Shining.... all fantastic books. As for the Dark Tower series, that's just one of the best-written stories of our generation, I'd consider that to be the LOTR of this millenium. I can understand how the ending would be disappointing to some, but I thought it was a suitable 'finish'. As for putting himself in, I thought he brought just the right amount of self deprecation into it to be not self-indulgent.

Dan Brown is suffering from a very large backlash, purely because he was so successful. If the Da Vinci Code had been an average number one, he would never have received the amount of criticism he has. I thought that and Angels and Demons were very well put-together, held your attention and were in general very enjoyable. They are a little too similar though, if you read one, it's pretty easy to guess what's going to happen in the other. Digital Fortress and Deception Point were pretty dire though, didn't hang together as well as the other two. Too much criticism of Dan Brown has focused on him 'misleading' the population by letting them believe it's all true, which I don't think is something he should be blamed for.

Jeffrey Archer, John Grisham and Tom Clancy (not as much) all suffer from the same problem, they tend to repeat themselves an awful lot, even in just basic structure and plot. As stand-alone books they tend to be very good, but they can make for repetitive reading

meldrew

Stephen King is back from retirement next month hopefully his new one will be better than his last few especially From a Buick 8 which was fairly average

28064212

28064212 wrote:

Surprised at the amount of votes Stephen King has gotten, haven't read a poor book by him yet. The Stand, IT, Insomnia, The Green Mile, The Dead Zone, Salem's Lot, The Shining.... all fantastic books.

The Tommyknockers.

Hilarious. Little green aliens running around some woods. Same hackneyed idea - people gradually go bonkers and start attacking each other blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

dudara

I think Dan Brown is get treated slightly unfairly here, just because he's sold so many copies. He's no great writer of literature, but he writes well for his genre.

There are far better candidates for this title. Tess Gerritsen, Cecilia Aherne, Marion Keyes, Judith Krantz, anything recent by Jeffrey Archer, John Grisham or Tom Clancy.

I like it when Waterstones have a half-price book of the week, but unfortunately it's all too often some stupid chick-lit

28064212

Deleted User wrote:

Same hackneyed idea - people gradually go bonkers and start attacking each other blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Same idea as what?

shroomfox

I don't think Dan Brown is getting too much mistreatment here because he sold so many copies.

Surely if we're discussing the worst bestselling authors ever, the first criterium is that they have to sold a lot of books?

Nah, I don't like him because I think he's a substandard writer. Very different reason.

PS Stephen King = Poor. I'm sorry, I just don't like him either.

28064212

28064212 wrote:

Same idea as what?

As every other book he wrote, except for the vampire ones. Every King book I read seemed to be about the evil within (Carrie, Christine, Misery, the Shining) or vampires (Salem's Lot)...although I think one had a big dog...

lordgoat

Deleted User wrote:

As every other book he wrote, except for the vampire ones. Every King book I read seemed to be about the evil within (Carrie, Christine, Misery, the Shining) or vampires (Salem's Lot)...although I think one had a big dog...

Cujo

So he's so repetitive that he writes about, evil (nice and specific there) and vampires and aliens and one had a big dog? and don't forget a clown in one or does that fall under evil, or the green mile where would that one go?

Stick to your Ann and Barry or at least form a cromulent argument.

lordgoat

Back on topic,

Robert Jordan, is useless and when i'm feeling argumentative i like to say Tolkien is over rated and has too many crappy chapters in his books where nothing happens

28064212

lordgoat wrote:

Tolkien is over rated and has too many crappy chapters in his books where nothing happens

Ooh controversial. What crappy characters? And don't you find it adds a touch of realism to have 'minor' characters who don't always have a direct impact on the story, instead of the 'standard' of a few protagonists who have no interaction with anyone outside of the plot?

Feu

Dan Brown - any day of the week. I was backpacking there for the year, and went through them all - usually as a last resort, and when it was the last book on the island, and when i had read the rules for bridge card in the deck 57 times. Our whole hostel nearly came to blows over him one night trying to outdo the insults on him -like what comes out of a birds are has more solidity, better character development in butter.

He is an aberration. I'd like to picket the movie but i don't want to give him the satisfaction....

lordgoat

28064212 wrote:

Ooh controversial. What crappy characters? And don't you find it adds a touch of realism to have 'minor' characters who don't always have a direct impact on the story, instead of the 'standard' of a few protagonists who have no interaction with anyone outside of the plot?

i said crappy chapters, as in whole chapters devoted to stopping for dried bread and cheese or maybe a big gay song. Or listening to him whinge about the weight of the ring. Ahh grow a pair of goobers and shut up!
I just think that the three books needed a good editing, take the hobbit, 100 odd pages of plot action fun, and then the sprawl of the three books that followed for me always let it down. He tells a great story but couchs it in too much, in my opinon unneccessary waffle.

28064212

The irony of reading a post wrong in the Literature forum is not lost on me.

I can see where you're coming from, but I just find that it allows me to become completely immersed in the world. That's the thing about fantasy and sci-fi authors, they are creating whole worlds that don't necessarily share details with 'our' world. That level of detail is almost a prerequisite for a book like that.

lordgoat

lordgoat wrote:

evil (nice and specific there)

Actually I said 'the evil within'. It's one thing to be smart, but quite another to misquote or take out of context and then be smart.

lordgoat wrote:

Stick to your Ann and Barry

If you find him to be the epitome of good writing, whatever rocks your boat. Frankly I have read better Ann and Barrys now you mention it. Certainly they are more thrilling with more innovative plotlines and better twists. I appreciate that many may like King, I suspect a lot less have your confidence that he is a writer of such merit as to enable you have contempt for those who dare criticise. When Thinner is the recommended reading in English Lit at Oxford or Harvard, by all means get back to me.

theCzar

Deleted User wrote:

When Thinner is the recommended reading in English Lit at Oxford or Harvard, by all means get back to me.

oooh crap. I love thinner. fantastic book. I've previously (in this thread) declared my luke-warmness to King, but that's a great book I'd completely forgotten.

This is a great thread. plenty of conflicting opinion, and a lot of ammunition for everybody to draw on. Good points by Lordgoat, good points by the opposing posse.






and yes, I am drunk.

theCzar

theCzar wrote:

oooh crap. I love thinner.

Damn, knew I should have gone for the Tommyknockers. It is not possible to like the Tommyknockers. Tommyknockers heap bad.