why do good guys finish last??

Teddi

hey...

well...why do they??..lol...

i am one of those good guys.......im genuine....treat women properly..(like princesses)....im good looking (not big-headed..been told by people).....

and through chain of events i always end last..lol....with girl etc.....

any other guys have this happen to them?

imp

Meeeee!! Except the good-looking thing. Also I'm a bit of a whinge, which may have something to do with it...

It seems to be the case that women my age (18) don't really appreciate the whole sensitive caring guy thing, or so I've been told. Roll on late twenties

But seriously, hang in there, it seems to happen sometime for everyone, you'll find someone

}:>

Cake Fiend

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

Have a read through this, work out whether your personality traits fit any of the problems outlined in it, and change them.

Teddi

thanks imp...yea....i dont look 20 funnily enough.....my mate keeps telling me that im the type to get an amazing woman later on than those people how have 20 un-succesful realationships before they meet the right person...

is it worth the wait?....seems like the proper answear should be yes....but...ggrrrrr!!...why??....lol

Skud

i'm with someone and i'm the 18 year-old "sensitive guy" have been witht hat person for nearly nine months, took me ages to find her, whether or not it's a very long term thing those type of ppl are out there. Just get to know someone before you go out with them, your young enjoy yourself with different ppl

Tazzle

:rolleyes:

Teddi

uh...taz?..wha?

skipn_easy

I was wondering that myself recently. It can seem that way sometimes, and its not just nice guys that can end up finishing last...

All I can say is that in the end you'll come out on top. People will respect you more because you're nice, you'll get further ahead everywhere because of the people you didn't screw over. At our age it seems like we're finishing last, left on the sidelines or whatever while all the assholes go out and sleep around, scoring the 'beautiful' people and pretty much getting whatever they want. It'll all end in tears though :rolleyes:

Havelock

I was there, last place, too nice etc.
If your a nice guy, polite, caring and sensitive, adolecence can be little - no fun. But consider the good friends you have, the stress you don't have about people you f**ked over and general good karma.

Don't be a nice guy to score chicks. Don't feel bad about the bastards getting the women. Don't see your niceness as a social disadvantage. Be yourself, try to be happy being yourself.

I know it doesn't explain why we come last [must resist making an innuendo] at that age (only women can explain that really). If you dig down far enought there have been several threads of this kind of topic before. They had good replies. I suggest looking them up.

Zombrex

another day, another "nice guys finish last" posting on PI :rolleyes:

Has it ever occurred to you that you are going after the wrong girls?

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Doodee

Maybe they dont want to be treated like a princess but more like a real person.

Memnoch

Nice guys...

1) they treat women like how they think women want to be treated
2) They do this in the hope of getting a girlfriend
3) They tend to be desperate, most women see this a mile away
4) Act like what they think women want a guy to act like. these ideas tend to be gained from novels, books, mags whatever.
5) Will never admit it but their infatuations fly around wildly from one girl to the next
6) Aren't really "nice" just try to be...
7) Lack self-confidence and are very insecure
8) try to act "romantic"

if you really want to get a girl and happen to fall into this "Nice guy" category... here is my advice that will help you succeed 300%

1) Quit being "nice" just be yourself. and quit being "romantic" too.
2) Do you own thing. Hobbies, you must have them? Hang out with your friends, go to do stuff, whatever.
3) If you are "friends" with a girl try to do so without the idea of hoping to get with them at some later stage. Be friends for the sake of the friendship not the sake of the relationship that hasn't happened yet.
4) Stop looking, seriously.
5) Stop looking
6) Stop pouring your "affections" and "niceness" onto a girl. it tends to freak em out and 99% of the time you come on too strong... no most girls don't think its sweet, they think its creepy.
7) Enjoy your life the way it is, it will build your confidence.

conclusion? Yes this is cheesy and corny and sooo horribly cliche'd but its also true.

You won't get a girl till you stop looking. It seems like there is no one for you out there and that you will never get a girl, but this is not true. In time you WILL realise that all you're friends who said you will find someone eventually were right.

Signed
Former "nice" guy tm

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Memnoch

Originally posted by Mercury_Tilt

:ninja:

Doodee

Its abit like merc and his camera batteries, they work only he is trying too hard.

lordsippa

It's cause nice guys always set their standards too high. You've gotta be a wee bit more cynical of the world. Just cause you're a "nice guy" doesn't mean you'll end up marrying the princess and living happily ever after.

The trick is to NOT wait for the "perfect woman" and just find someone who you enjoy being with and who you've got a lil (or a big) spark for. Then if you're lucky they will turn out to be that perfect someone. But likely not. The whole unrequited love thing is also silly unless you wanna harrass the poor lass for a few years till she finally relents, which most nice guys don't wanna do.

So here's my advice for ye nice guys out there: if you find someone who likes you and someone who you find you like (maybe not as much as your current infatuation) then GO FOR IT cause it could just be that perfect fulfilling relationship that you're looking for. And if not, then at least you're a lil bit wiser and lot more confident.

And to be fair, I haven't seen one of these threads in months.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

a nice guy wouldn't get bummed because he's finishing last... you're thinking of a whingy guy

just avoid contact with women of say... 27 years or younger, they're all crazy.
after 27 it's usually plain sailing, with only one or two crazies out of 5 as opposed to 4 or 5 with sub-27's.

this is scientific fact.

begbie

Well, have you never heard the Green Day song - "Nice guys finish last"? Its track one on "Nimrod". If Billie Joe wrote bout it must be true and it'll prob never change.:dunno:

Mighty_Mouse

probably cos your no craic, being so sensitive ?

uberwolf

I didn't have to wait twenty failed relationships before I hooked up with my current beauty even though I fit your description. It'll happen eventually. Meanwhile enjoy being single, its better craic than you appreciate at times*. Green hills, etc.

*I've said too much

koneko

This topic keeps coming up, and it keeps getting the same answers. Use the search! :rolleyes:

Nice guys don't finish last. Assertive, confident, happy guys get the girls. It's not about being mean or nice, it's about being a go-getter (for lack of better word). If you're not getting the girls, it's probably because you're not approaching them or can't keep up a conversation ("I.. um... you're... really pretty... um..."). Work on your confidence (hard, I know...), work on your people skills. I don't really know many women that go for "mean" guys (I'm certainly not one of them), but we do like a guy we can talk to that isn't going to be a nervous blubbering wreck in the corner, too afraid to approach a girl. Memnoch made some good points.

vorbis

I don't think women want nice guys. They're more interested in guys who exude confidence. Such guys realise this and thus can act like a bastard since it doesn't matter. Morale of the story, theres no value to be gained (in either business, love etc.) from being a nice guy.

Beruthiel

I'm afraid you have a lot to learn vorbis

Kersh

just be yourself. Failing that..be me. I have never even heard of this 'nice guy finish last' stuff. Where are you meeting these girls.

Teddi

okaaaaay...

number one....princess is just a metaphor that id treat her well..

number two....sensitive doesnt mean 'no craic'...im the total opposite...

Memnoch......you REALLY hit the nail on the head there....cheers...

yep....i getcha koneko....i try to do that but doesnt always work.....

lack of strong confidence brings me down i think....if i cud up that id be on my way.....


thanks ppl

Bottle_of_Smoke

they're boring boring boring!

Typedef

It's quite simple.

Act like a disinterested bastard only out to get a woman's knicker off aka, act like yourself and you will pull easily.

Act like some sort of clingy child who wants to find a woman fast, so she can replace your mother, and spend ... lots of time beating up simians in the zoo.

However:

Even though girls go for the whole bastard rebel types, eventually, when the lusture wears off, she sees you/him for what he is, just another life support system for a cock, who doesn't treat her especially well, then he gets dumped.

On the other hand, while, non-psychotic-type guys, score less, they tend to get the chicks to stick with them longer, because, once the chick gets over the whole... "he's doesn't have a motorcycle or a tatoo" thing and stops thinking of him as boring, she realises that this guy is just another life support system for a cock, but, this one treats her well.

Personally, I say, treat em, mean, move on, have her best friend... unless you particularly want to wait around for her to get done with el-bastard and come crawling back to ol Mr Dependable, for some comfort.

No but, seriously, somebody did post some decent advice, but, I'll add my own slant to it for you.

Just be yourself, live your life and be happy being you and doing what you're doing.

I won't say you'll necessarily meet a woman, but, that's not important, you need to enjoy your life *anyway*.

You shouldn't spend your time obsessing about having a woman. It's just a crazy idea in your head... none of them... 'none' of them ever bear out these fantasy ideas you have of them. These girls still look shit in the morning, they can smell, they can go on and on about their how ass looks in these pants, etc, etc, etc.... when all you really want to be doing is slapping said ass, whence doing the deed from behind.

In any case :

Find a hobby... shit man, do something that makes you happy, and be happy just being yourself, alone with yourself and ... reasonably comfortable with who you are. Then it doesn't matter if you meet a woman or not, because you're enjoying your life... as it should be.

Hell when you get to that place maybe you will meet a woman...

Then you can look back on the happy times you had when you were single

*grin*

weemcd

Originally posted by begbie
Well, have you never heard the Green Day song - "Nice guys finish last"? Its track one on "Nimrod". If Billie Joe wrote bout it must be true and it'll prob never change.:dunno:

he he i had to put that song on when i read this thread anyway yeah nice guys do finish last, im a nice guy (i think) and the assholes to get more girls, however theese girls are tramps. anyway maddox has the answer

http://maddox.xmission.com/shallow.htm


http://maddox.xmission.com/girls.html

that is all

Silent Grape

what typedef said. (the advice bit, i mean)


become a bit more selfish.
stop caring what other people think of you (hard, i know).
stop acting like a girl. be a man damnit!
you dont sound very independant.

you seem like the type who wouldnt be much of a 'challenge' for a girl. maybe you're a little tooooo available?

it sounds like ur having a tough time at the mo, but itll pass, promise x

its amazing how often the 'treat em mean, keep em keen' thing actually works.

also its not a case of nice guys -v- bastards. there's a middle ground there somewhere. less is more, u know.

we are not living in a suburban hollywood teen movie.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Silent Grape

ach im tired leave me alone

Doodee

Originally posted by Typedef
once the chick gets over the whole... "he's doesn't have a (1)motorcycle or a (2)tatoo" thing and stops thinking of him as boring, she realises that this guy is just another life support system for a cock, but, this one treats her well.

1 out of 2 is ok?

Seraphina

fs man i thought you were a freaking girl with that nick and avatar.

you're clearly not quite all man as you'd like to think..... maybe thats the problem?

Laguna

Man, my advice is simple. Nice guys finish last? who gives a ****, are you in a race or something? i feel for you though, but seriously, will getting a woman complete you?. i personally gave up giving a **** years back, i was the same as yourself when i was 16, now i'm nearly 21 and i REALLY couldn't give a ****.. oh and as for the saying "Don't look and you'll find" regarding relationships - Newsflash - It's bull****!, when you lose your car keys and stop looking for them does someone come up to you and say, hey, how bout a set of car keys "Baby"?, no, you only get back what you seek

Teddi

lol @ laguna...

yea..i know what your saying buddy.....all the advice given here is too much to take in at once...ill just have some of it in the back of my mind..

i know i sound fairly desperate...just a lil fed up of being tossed to the side....
i think its about time i gave myself a kick up da ass, fook being nice all the time...lol

ah..i thought id grow out of this s h i t e by now

ill have to see how things go.....thanx grape x and to all the positive posters!!..cheers

Cake Fiend

Originally posted by Seraphina
fs man i thought you were a freaking girl with that nick and avatar.

you're clearly not quite all man as you'd like to think..... maybe thats the problem?

Haha, I was thinking of saying something along these lines, but I thought it would put the chap down a bit too much.

I'll reiterate my original point, as it got lost in the sands of moderator previews:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/ng.shtml

Laguna

No man, you miss the point, don't give yourself the kick up the ass. if you're a nice guy, so be it man, that's the way the cookie crumbles, don't become a ****er just to get some woman. It worked up until now for you so my advice is **** it, do you really want someone who wants a bastard for a boyfriend?

Doodee

*Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh*

thats the sound of the advice going over his head.

if your gonna act then your just gonna be in the same boat. dont you learn anything.
Stop being so ****ing desperate and just ****ing enjoy what does happen.

cant win em all.

Teddi

naw...

i what i mean is......maybe not be so much thinking about how other people are feeling etc... and just get on with things....it makes sense in my head..lol

im still going to be nice...dont get me wrong...i was born with it.....but as grape said...
be in teh middle ground....illt ry and aim for that....thanx anyway buddy

Teddi

doodee...

im not acting by stopping something i might usually do..theres a difference

Laguna

Nice one - Hey do what i do in situations like this

Laguna

Come out with a random proverb

- - - - - - - - - - -

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush

- - - - - - - - - - -

That sounds a bit sexual to me? no?

Teddi

anything going your way at the mo lag?

Laguna

With respect to what man? (weather?/fish? - ho ho) girls? if you mean girls, no, nothing, i don't ask girls out, i ignore flirty body language signals, i'm not really interested y'know? but man i have to ask ya, how old are ya? if you're 18-19 don't... give...a...**** about anything...if you're older, you're older than me so i can't help ya

Teddi

uh...20...lol

but you wouldnt think it......its kewl though...what your saying does apply to me....
ahh...too much going on with me right now........is all bollix..lol

jerenaugrim

Losers finish last.
Nice guys are not necessarily losers.
Therefore, the question is meaningless.:cool:

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

well.. obviously nice guys are losers, they finish last!

Johnny Versace

It's from our caveman days.

The agressive, bastard-type male was a good hunter and quite dominant. He was a good provider so his mates children were more likely to survive with him around.

Therefore women are programmed to like this kind of male.

A few years ago I was a really "nice guy". Then (it's a long story) I became a bit more... bastardy/confident. Womens opinon of me changed dramatically. While they thought I was a bit of a cúnt sometimes, they suddenly found me way more sexually attractive.

It's sad. On so many levels.

Originally posted by Teddi
hey...

well...why do they??..lol...

i am one of those good guys.......im genuine....treat women properly..(like princesses)....im good looking (not big-headed..been told by people).....

and through chain of events i always end last..lol....with girl etc.....

any other guys have this happen to them?

Coney Island

Originally posted by Memnoch
Nice guys...

1) they treat women like how they think women want to be treated
2) They do this in the hope of getting a girlfriend
3) They tend to be desperate, most women see this a mile away
4) Act like what they think women want a guy to act like. these ideas tend to be gained from novels, books, mags whatever.
5) Will never admit it but their infatuations fly around wildly from one girl to the next
6) Aren't really "nice" just try to be...
7) Lack self-confidence and are very insecure
8) try to act "romantic"

if you really want to get a girl and happen to fall into this "Nice guy" category... here is my advice that will help you succeed 300%

1) Quit being "nice" just be yourself. and quit being "romantic" too.
2) Do you own thing. Hobbies, you must have them? Hang out with your friends, go to do stuff, whatever.
3) If you are "friends" with a girl try to do so without the idea of hoping to get with them at some later stage. Be friends for the sake of the friendship not the sake of the relationship that hasn't happened yet.
4) Stop looking, seriously.
5) Stop looking
6) Stop pouring your "affections" and "niceness" onto a girl. it tends to freak em out and 99% of the time you come on too strong... no most girls don't think its sweet, they think its creepy.
7) Enjoy your life the way it is, it will build your confidence.

conclusion? Yes this is cheesy and corny and sooo horribly cliche'd but its also true.

You won't get a girl till you stop looking. It seems like there is no one for you out there and that you will never get a girl, but this is not true. In time you WILL realise that all you're friends who said you will find someone eventually were right.

Signed
Former "nice" guy tm

God, I am sorry to admit this, but you are soooooo right!

lordsippa

If anyone has the link to The Ladder Theory it'd be so fitting right now...