Predictions 2019

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy wrote: »

Paddy the Plasterer is made Finance Minister.

The builder or the horse?

Coronation Street finally ends after nearly 60 years, when Ken Barlow suffers a massive and fatal heart attack.

Zucc hacks into the US's and Russia's nuclear arsenals, and becomes supreme overlord of all mankind, just before that Winnie the Pooh-looking ass who rules China can become literally Thanos thanks to medical experiments that would make Unit 731 blush.

Following the collapse of the "confidence and supply" talks with FF Leo Varadkar calls a snap election to be held in February before Brexit. He wins and goes into coalition with the Labour Party.

Before the election several FF TDs including O'Cuiv jump to Peadar Tobin's new party. Martin is replaced by Stephen Donnelly as leader of FF.

Brexit causes mass closure of exporting companies in Ireland. The Agrifood sector is particularly hard hit. Unemployment rises by 100,000 between March and December.

The housing market collapses as thousands of East European workers return home to mainland EU.

Amazon.co.uk, and several other UK based websites announce they will stop shipping to Ireland.

Due to tariffs and long queues at ports many brands of EU and UK products we are used to seeing on Irish shelves either disappear or increase in price by 40% or more.

At least one major Bank collapses in the UK but it has moved it's headquarters to the IFSC so Irish Taxpayers are required to pick up the multi-billion tab.

A hung parliament in the UK after a general election sees a coalition of Labour and the Liberal democrats supported by the SNP enter government. They announce they wish to hold a referendum to undo Brexit but the EU says it will not start negotiations for at least 10 years.

The SNP announces a Scottish referendum on independence in 2020.

Pope Benedict, Prince Philip, Jimmy Carter, Gay Byrne all die.

So does Michael D Higgins and the Dail votes Enda Kenny to be the new president.

AKK becomes Chancellor of Germany.

Donald Trump pardons himself and his family from any wrongdoing in relation to the Muller inquiry. Muller himself is fired.

As the US economy goes into decline in a trade war with China Paul Ryan emerges as the frontrunner for the Republican nomination in 2020. Trump leaves the Republican party and announces he will run as an independent. The Democrats are in disarray and cannot unify around a single candidate.

Russia and Ukraine officially go to war. With the US and UK unable to take any action due to internal divisions Russia wins inside 4 weeks and annexes large parts of Eastern Ukraine.

One of Microsoft or Google buys Tesla.

Apple shares fall by over 50% through the year as sales of their products continues to decline due to over pricing. Tim Cook resigns and the new CEO announces a new cheaper Apple IPhone based on the IPhone 6 and using plastic casing etc costing less than €300.

Bitcoin ceases to trade.

Dublin win the All Ireland football. Kilkenny win the Hurling.

Ireland come second in the Six Nations behind England and go out in the QTR Finals of the Rugby world cup losing to South Africa.

The Irish Soccer team fail to qualify for Euro 2020 coming 4th in the group.

Sam Bennet wins the Green jersey at the Tour de France.

Padraig Harrington is named European Ryder cup captain. Tiger Woods wins a Major. Rory doesn't.

Life is confirmed on another planet, most likely microbes on Mars.

Game of Thrones finale sees Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen die. Riots on the streets.

Brexit causes severe social disorder in Britain. Riots on the street.

Roscommon win the All-Ireland football. Riots on the streets.

The trolley crisis will see hospital car parks and cycle sheds used to ease overcrowding. Simon Harris refuses to resign, tapping the side of his head with a pen while repeating "but abortion, lads".

More patients will be told that their original screening results were incorrect, and their illness is now terminal. Simon Harris refuses to resign, stands up in the Dail and does the floss while repeating "but abortion, lads".

Leo Varadkar does a live Facebook session where he gets covered in chocolate and attempts to eat himself.

Peter Casey is the named the new host of the Late Late Show after Ryan Tubridy is chosen to be Leo Varakar's head of PR.

Dublin win 5 in row. The rest of the country immediately demand Dublin be broken up into 24 different teams, and have to play league games with blindfolds on.

Dancing with the Stars announce plans to do a celebrity version in 2020.

Roy Keane enters the jungle for I'm a Celebrity. Accuses a lizard that wanders into camp of being "lazy", tells the camp to "stick it up your bollox" when they get an answer wrong in the Dingo Dollar challenge denying Roy a packet of Meanies.

Homeless crisis solved after politicians agree to let their second, third, fourth and fifth houses be used to accommodate those on the streets.

Kate O'Connell reveals that yes, she is actually Satan.

I predict a riot.








Probably in France.

For Forks Sake wrote: »

That could be any day, week, month or year over there in fairness.

Don't hate the player. Hate the game.